Author's Notes: I'm having fun here. It's kind of crazy to write because it's kind of taking on a life of its own. I've had some questions about the ending… well let me sing a you a little song: I'm not telling! I'm not telling! I've got this whole piece worked out I'm writing it as a whole; meaning I've got the chapter document and the whole piece "plan" document open at the same time and I'm going back and forth filling both out as I go along. So, oh yes… I know exactly how it's going to end. And for the record, it will be done in 8 chapters.
***
Love and Marriage
Chapter 2
Improvisational Vows
What's going on?' Inuyasha thought miserably. Miroku was here with a tux. There was a wedding in three hours. And the one thing he wanted to see right now was no where to be found. He didn't remember the score anymore, but it was clear the universe had won.
***
12:02 PM
"What's going on?!" he screamed as he flung his sheets aside and leapt from his bed.
"Whoa! WHOA!" Miroku cried and covered his face. "Get some clothes on man! I can live happily without seeing 'Little Inu' if that's alright!"
Inuyasha grabbed his discarded pair of sweats from the night before. 'This isn't happening!' he thought and was running across the room before he even had them completely on and calling out "Kagome?!" the whole way.
He ran into his bathroom first. Please be there! No, same empty bathroom as he found it every morning, but it was wrong. There was water on his counter! He hated water on the counter and was obsessive about toweling it up after he used his sink. The lights were on, which was another thing that he never allowed. His toilet seat was down, which was always wrong for a man's apartment. Then there were those weird red spots on his floor-- none of it had been there before. It all proved she had been there earlier. He observed it all in a second without giving it much thought as room held no hidden Kagome, he bolted out again, crashing into an ill-placed Miroku who was following him in confusion.
"What the hell is going on?" his friend screamed. No time for Miroku, thought and Inuyasha flung his sliding glass doors open out to his balcony. Nothing. Just a folding camping chair and an old coffee mug for mornings he wanted to actually enjoy the view he suffered the stairs for every day. With no place else he could think to look, he looked up. She couldn't have gotten on the roof could she? No way. "Where did she go?" he asked no one.
"Where did who go?!" a very annoyed someone answered. "Will you please tell me what is going on?!" He looked up to the roof again. Maybe if she used the drain pipe and had a history in the circus… a pitcher collided with his head and knocked him back a step.
"Will you knock it off?!" Inuyasha screamed at him and rubbed his abused head. "I have to find her!"
"Find who?"
"Kagome." Inuyasha said simply as though it were the only logical conclusion in the world.
Miroku's unique mind began to calculate all that he had seen since he arrived this strange morning. Inuyasha naked in bed, plus Inuyasha running frantically around his apartment searching for some missing girl, plus Inuyasha's wedding being scheduled for 3:00 that afternoon, equaled "Oh… what did you do?" he wailed and slapped his hand over his eyes.
"There was this girl." Inuyasha said quietly.
Miroku stared at him incredulously and rubbed his temples. "A girl? The night before your wedding, and there was this girl?" Inuyasha couldn't help thinking there was something seriously wrong about Miroku lecturing him with moral outrage. "I can't believe you!" Miroku yelled. "I don't know what you could possibly be thinking. I can't believe… I didn't think of it first." Miroku smirked at his bewildered friend. You think you know a guy, but even your friends can surprise you.
"Just stop that thought wherever it is in the filth that is your mind." Inuyasha growled. "You don't understand. I have to find her."
"Is your wallet gone or something?"
"Will you please be serious?" The panic and worry on his face convinced Miroku it would be best just to shut up and listen. Inuyasha was definitely not in a joking mood.
"What happened?" he asked again, but much more gently and minus pitcher.
"When I left last night," he started, "I heard a scream. She was being attacked and I fought them. They knocked her out and I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I brought her back here until she woke. When she did, she was so afraid. I told her I wouldn't hurt her and what had happened and then, everything changed." He looked to Miroku silently begging for some sort of answer. "I've never done anything like that before-never just lost my senses over a woman like that. I have to find her!"
This was much worse than Miroku had thought. This hadn't been just a little night of fun before he was tied down for life. He was seriously believed this girl was something he couldn't leave behind.
"What are you saying?" He asked dumbfounded. "You're supposed to get married today."
Inuyasha was silent and looked to the ground, clenching his fists at his sides. "I don't know if I can."
"Come on! Be serious, man." He said. "It's not like you're in love with the girl."
"I don't know." Inuyasha said in misery. "I just don't know."
"Inuyasha," Miroku said, "You and Kikyo have been together for years, but still it's only natural to be scared about getting married. Any man would, and it's understandable that would make you confused about your emotions, especially combined with a few shots a few hours before. Just because you have pre-wedding jitters, you don't just call off your whole future because some woman with a hero complex jumped in your bed!"
That did it.
"She wasn't like that!" He lunged forward, grabbing Miroku by the collar and pinning him against a wall a few inches above the ground.
"Ok! Ok," Miroku choked out while gripping arms that held him up and beginning to turn a fascinating shade of green. "I'm sorry. Just calm down." Inuyasha growled and let him down, turning away as Miroku rubbed the hurt out of his neck and shoulders.
"Just don't say that again." Inuyasha said sternly, "She wasn't like that."
"Look," Miroku said, "I can sympathize here, but you've got to at least try to be rational. I won't suggest anything bad about her again, but just try to think. You're the one who said that if you weren't pathetically, head over heals in love with Kikyo, then it just must not exist in the world, but then some spectacular girl just comes along and changes everything you ever thought?! Inuyasha, even I have to concede that sounds absolutely ridiculous. You don't know anything about this girl."
He looked into his bedroom, remembering her. "You're wrong." He said flatly.
"Oh really?" Miroku crossed his arms over his chest. "You think you know so much about her after one night of sex? Tell me then Lover Boy. What's her last name?"
'Shit.'
"Thought as much." Miroku sighed as his friend walked away and further in his room.
He was staring at his bed. He had noticed something wrong when Miroku was talking and his heart had yet to start up again. He was walking toward it in abject terror and could form no coherent thoughts other than 'Oh shit…' Miroku was still talking as he stumbled and caught himself on the mattress, fisting the covers until his knuckles turned white. "You're not going to like this, Inuyasha, but hear me out. I'm not saying it to be negative on the girl, but you really don't know anything about her. You don't know who else she may have been with. You may need to get tested-I don't care what kind of person you think this girl is, it's stupid to risk your health like that."
"I don't think that's a problem…" Inuyasha said and Miroku gapped at him. It wasn't like him to be this careless. It wasn't like him to be this pale either.
"How the hell can you be sure?!" He screamed and Inuyasha gestured for him to come nearer. He was holding the sheets and hadn't looked away from him through his entire lecture. Curiosity won out as Miroku came to his friend's side. "What is--" He stopped short when he saw what his friend was staring at. His mouth formed a perfect 'O.' There was a deep red blood spot smack in the middle of the bed.
"Maybe it's not what we think." Miroku offered. "Maybe it's…"
"No." Inuyasha interrupted him and clenched his eyes shut to hold in the guilt. He was reliving a private memory of the night before. She had been moaning, panting his name, begging him with whimpers to continue as he had covered every bare inch of her skin with his lips' caresses. He could still remember how the skin of her stomach had tasted when it was covered with thin sweat. Her entire body had been soft and supple and he remembered how her muscles would dance under her skin when he ran his fingers down her sides. There had been one spot, in the dip of her back, where when he touched it to pull her into him she had moaned violently and bucked her hips against him in desperation. Her passion at that touch had driven him crazy and he hadn't been able to hold himself back any longer. He remembered it; when he entered her the first time, there was a resistance. He hadn't even considered it in his longing to be inside her and he just pushed through it in desperate need to remove any obstacle. She had screamed. He realized now that it had been of pain--he had hurt her.
"No, it's exactly what I think." He clenched the sheets in his fist. She had been a virgin. It all clicked: her scream, the blood on his bed, the red spots in the bathroom-- She must have woken up alone and found the blood and tried to clean herself. She must have been so afraid. 'What have I done?' he thought angrily.
Miroku watched him completely dumbfounded. Now he was completely at a loss. 'Why did she do it?' he wondered, 'One night stand… gone in the morning…not something that screams out "virgin." What does it mean? Could they really… no way. People don't fall in love like that in real life, especially not Inuyasha. This isn't some fairy tale.' He shook his head in surprise at his own cynicism. He was supposed to be the romantic of the friendship, but things weren't really going with the natural order of the universe lately. "So… what are you going to do?"
"I don't know." If the universe wanted to strike him down dead right then he wouldn't have complained.
Miroku looked back at the clock; it was getting late. If he didn't do something soon they were going to have a very angry woman in a gown to deal with as well and he didn't like to picture the scene. "Inuyasha…" he said carefully, "The ceremony is supposed to start in a little more than two hours. What… will you do… about Kikyo?"
'Kikyo…' he thought miserably. This was all so unfair to her.
He was silent so long Miroku didn't think he was going to answer and he didn't want to ask again too soon. Enough was going on in his friend's head, and he didn't need someone else's nagging adding to it. But still, the clock was ticking. Maybe he would try to go find the girl-not an easy task considering that her last name was not among that vast knowledge he thought he had of her. It definitely would not be fun asking every person in the building if they had seen a girl sneaking out and if they happened to catch which direction she went. They would have one hell of a time, but maybe they could do it.
Hey! He couldn't let his best friend do this alone, now could he?
"I'm going to tell her." Inuyasha said quietly and snapped Miroku out of his search plans. "I'll tell Kikyo the truth… the whole truth. She deserves that much." Miroku patted his pocket to feel the rings; maybe they could get the money back or something because it didn't look like there was going to be a wedding this afternoon. "She won't let go…" Inuyasha continued and shook his head, answering Miroku's thoughts without realizing it, "but she needs to know everything. That way I can know I never lied to her."
"She'll…" Miroku stuttered, "You think she'll still want to marry you?"
"I'll find out, I guess." He said. "If she does, I will honor her wishes, but she at least has to know."
"I--" Miroku started. No, he wouldn't argue. He didn't even know what he would protest against, but something felt wrong. It was Inuyasha's decision, but he had been starting to look forward to the challenge of searching the entire city for one girl that had vanished into thin air. "You should get cleaned up and changed then. I--" he looked to the bed again, "I'll get things cleaned up here and call a cab."
Inuyasha nodded and took the garment bag with his tuxedo with him into the bathroom. Miroku stripped the sheets from the bed.
"What a mess." He whispered not thinking about the sheets. 'That poor girl…I wonder if she's all alone.' He thought.
"Hey!" he called out suddenly, "Inuyasha?"
"Yeah?" Came the response from the bathroom.
"Do you think you could pay for the cab?" Miroku asked. "I…um… I lost my wallet last night."
He wasn't sure, but Miroku thought he heard a smothered, snorting laugh from behind the door.
1:30 PM
He stepped into the main room freshly showered and wearing the new tuxedo pants and shirt. Why bother with the tie and bothersome little knick-knacks until he made it to the pavilion. His bed was already stripped, he noticed. Miroku hadn't wasted any time, but had he taken the sheets to be washed or simply thrown them away? Did he think that would make it have never happened?
What in the world was he going to do? He collapsed miserably on his bare mattress and held his head in his hands. Miroku had to be right, he knew it. He just wasn't thinking rationally. It was perfectly common to be nervous about getting married so it was perfectly logical that he could just invent these agonizing mixed emotions to that girl. He wouldn't possibly fall in love with someone he just met when he was marrying Kikyo! It was all in his head--it just had to be.
He flopped on his back with his knees hanging off the side and looked at the ceiling. This was insane! He would never find anybody better than Kikyo, and that was obvious. She had been with him for as long as he could remember and she was good to him, and was about as perfect as a woman as anyone could hope to find. And besides, he could already list a dozen things about that girl that would drive him insane after one day. She's stubborn, she says the first thing that comes into her head without thinking about it first, she wandered around at night alone without thinking what might happen, she was fidgety, she leaves water on the bathroom counter, she leaves lights on when she's not in a room, she hums in her sleep, and she runs away in the middle of the night without even bothering to wake him up! Why was he thinking about this so much! It shouldn't be a hard choice.
'Alright! That's all there is to it.' He thought and sat upright again. He put his hands on his calves and pushed himself up to stand, but as he looked down, he caught a faint violet glimmer under the bed. He went to his knees and grabbed at it. Opening his fist slowly, he found he clutched the jewel from her necklace. 'Oh no…' he thought. It had been so precious to her--the last gift from her father. His heart softened with such extreme guilt. He even took that from her. It had been the symbol to her of all love should be.
He looked at the jewel and smiled slightly. It was funny, now. All those things seriously would drive him nuts, and a lot of them already did, but somehow they didn't really seem that bad. They actually seemed kind of funny now, but maybe that was because they were coming from her. He rolled it around in his palm watching how the light played with it. He remembered her words when she had played with it in a similar fashion. 'It's like you love even those imperfections because they belong to the one you love and they really do become perfect to you.'
He put the jewel in his pocket and grabbed his jacket. 'Ridiculous.' He thought as he locked the door behind him
2:00 PM
"Hi, I need to check in." Kagome said politely to the clerk behind a counter.
"What's the name Miss?"
"Higurashi," She replied and wiped her cheek, "Kagome."
"Yes…" the clerk began noticing the customer's actions. The girl's eyes were blood shot and her cheeks swollen and red. "Here you are." She said typing quickly. "Everything is in order Miss Higurashi. I have you down for a one-way flight to Los Angeles, California. Is that correct?" Kagome nodded. "Your flight is currently on time and will be departing in about an hour. Do you have anything you would like to check?"
Kagome nodded again meekly and placed a bulging yellow bag on the baggage stand. It wasn't much for luggage, but it had proved itself on many trips. She didn't want to bring to much baggage with her while starting out her new life, and her family would send her little things she needed in the future.
The clerk handed her standard agreement papers and she answered all the predictable questions. No, she didn't have any weapons. No, she didn't have any concealed narcotics. Yes, she understood that her bag was subject to being searched should there be any question of it's contents and might be subjected to a random search if selected, like she would actually say no to this question even if there was something illegal there. No, the bag had not been out of her possession since she packed it. No, she didn't have anything to hide, especially not that she had just snuck out of a man's apartment and frantically searched for her motel so she could grab her stupid bag from her unused room that cost a small fortune. A tear splashed on the forms and she wiped her eyes bitterly.
"Are you alright, Miss?" the clerk asked with gentle concern and she nodded quickly before handing back the forms. "Are you leaving home for the first time?"
That would do. "Yes." Kagome forced a smile.
"It's always hard the first time." She offered.
'You have no idea.' Kagome thought as she thanked the lady headed towards the gate.
2:05 PM
Inuyasha stood in checked his reflection in his dressing area, still working up his nerve. A man learns a healthy amount of respect and fear of a woman during the course of his life, and when it came to a woman's wedding day, if a man is to say or do anything to upset the balance of the day, he has to accept the fact that he just might end up dead. Considering this, he had decided he would rather face Kikyo fully dressed and not as a mess. She would be more open to him if she were not immediately caught off guard by his state of dress. Now that that excuse no longer worked, he considered if maybe a friendly phone call wouldn't work better, perhaps from Fiji.
'Get a hold of yourself you fucking coward!' he snapped at himself. There was no way he could put this off any longer. He owed her the truth and there was no way he would dishonor her in such a way. He held his breath and opened the door into the entry hall. Her dressing room was just on the opposite side. 'Just please no shrieking bridesmaids?' he silently pleaded with the universe and he pushed the door open and slid into the room.
Kikyo was alone ands she looked absolutely perfect. Beautiful and brilliant: she was a talented beginning doctor who was already making her path to the top. She was compassionate to those less fortunate, good with children, always squeezed toothpaste from the bottom of the tube, and was one of those women who could eat whatever she wanted and never gain an ounce, but still ate only healthy foods for their nutritional value. She really was one of those perfect women, and he had come to tell her he had slept with someone else the night before he was supposed to marry her and might possibly be in love with the girl. Wonderful.
"You are not supposed to be in here." She said without turning, but he caught her playful smile in the mirror.
"Hi…" he said with a soft smile.
"Hi." She turned and smiled back to him, like any woman who was about to get married would smile. 'I am pond scum.' He thought and couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes.
"Inuyasha?" She asked… in that voice. That 'I don't like that look in your eyes, but I'm going to try to sound reassuring just in case it's not the something bad I think it is, but let's face it… it probably is and I'm going to kill this bastard if he's done anything to screw this day up' voice.
"Kikyo," he walked to her and took both her hands in his own. "I have something I have to tell you." He saw the fear immediately flush over her face over words she knew could never be a good thing.
"Is..." her hands were shaking in his. "Is there something wrong?" and he gave a mute nod. She felt her heart jump up to her throat.
"Last night," he held her hands firmer and noted how she paled. "I rescued a girl from an attack." Kikyo nodded dumbly afraid of where she expected this to lead. "Kikyo, I'm so sorry to do this to you now." He closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the hurt in her. "I was unfaithful." She gripped his hands tightly and when he opened his eyes he saw tears beginning to fall from her lashes. He would have liked it so much better if she would just kill him and not cry. "Kikyo, I couldn't let you not know." He whispered to her and couldn't bear looking her in the eyes.
"Inuyasha," she forced her voice to stay steady, "I can't hide how hurt I am, but this is one night. I've heard how men are especially confused before they are to be married and I've heard many stories of what can go on at a bachelor party. But, I want to be with you, Inuyasha. I still want to be with you, and I can forgive this one night."
"Kikyo," he his hold became firmer still and he dropped to his knees in front of her. "It may be more than that."
She gave a shuddering gasp. This may be even worse than she had imagined. "Are… are you in love with this girl, Inuyasha?"
"I don't know." He said for the second time that day.
"So, are you telling me you are calling off the wedding?" tears were splashing on his hands.
"That is up to you, Kikyo." He said gently. "If you still want this, knowing the truth, I will honor my promise and be your husband. But I couldn't let you not know the truth."
"Inuyasha?" she said softly and he looked up into her eyes. "You know I want to be with you…and I can't believe you when you say your feelings for this girl. This one girl, after one night, how would she be more precious to you than me? How could se mean more to you than I who have loved you for so long. I will be good to you, Inuyasha. We will have a good life together, you and I, and raise a family. I'll make you happy, and I'll try every day to make you so. She can't mean more to you than all of that. We have already had so much of our lives together-I won't let one night take away our future. My love is real, Inuyasha, and I'll show you ever day that you are mistaken about this girl."
"Alright, Kikyo." He nodded and pushed himself to his feet. "If this is what you want."
"Yes." She whispered still holding on to his hands. "Yes, this is what I want."
2:50 PM
"Passengers, this is Flight 821 non-stop to Los Angeles, California." The pilot announced over the intercom. "We will be taking off shortly so please turn off any electronic devices and make sure your safety belts are securely fastened. In the case of an emergency…" he rattled off the standard procedures and Kagome looked out her window over the wing listening to the engines warm up.
'I'm not running away.'
The plane was heading towards the runway. Soon it would be picking up speed and lifting off the ground, leaving her life and home in the past and ten thousand feet below. It was a brand new day and she had a brand new kind of pain pulsing all through her lower body.
Kagome shifted in her seat and couldn't seem to get comfortable. She was so sore she wondered how she would be able to survive the long flight over seas. She sighed and asked a flight attendant for a glass of water and dug in her purse for a small bottle of aspirin thinking it might dull the pain enough so she could sit still. She found the pink round container hidden in the side pocket and remembered a much more important pill she hadn't yet taken that day. She opened the birth control discretely inside her purse and took out that day's medication. 'To think I started this last year just to regulate and get clearer skin.' She sighed at the thought. Pill or no pill, she would still make an appointment with a doctor as soon as she got into her apartment.
The flight attendant handed her the glass of water as she passed with a beverage cart and Kagome thanked her and washed down her pill. 'Why did I do it?' She held in a sob. 'I'm a good girl. I've never done anything like that. Why?' Since she woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around her naked body, she had loathed herself. The only thing that had kept her from crumbling into a sobbing mess as she tried to clean herself, find her clothes and dress, and escape had been the fear of the man waking. She just hadn't been able to face him.
'I'm not running away.' She thought. After all, there was no way she would have been able to stay. What would she have said if he had woken up to find her in his bed? He would have probably been furious with her. He would have screamed and called her a dirty little tramp, which she felt no better than in her own heart. He was supposed to get married; he must have just been apprehensive and having the second thoughts that everyone is supposed to have. He had just saved her, that must have just made her too weak willed to resist him.
'I'm not running away.' She had worked hard for this job and was about to start a whole new life. Was she just supposed to blow off the opportunity of a life time and miss her flight to another country? She couldn't give up her entire future. She didn't want him to have to give up his. What if he hadn't been angry? What if they had woken up wrapped in each others arms and discovered that they miraculously were in love. They could throw away all their plans and dreams to spend their days passionately living for each other and testing their love against the coldness of the world like an old romance novel. Yeah right. That kind of thing just doesn't happen! Leaving quietly had been the best thing to do in the situation.
"I'm not running away." She whispered and let a tear fall in her lap. It had been a mistake and staying would have just screwed up everyone's life. She reached to her collar unconsciously but something was missing. Now aware of her hand and what she was doing, she searched her neck for the precious chain that supported the jewel. 'Oh no!' She checked in her lap, in her shirt, the floor near her feet and under her chair. It was gone. She had lost her father's necklace.
'Oh please no!' She covered her mouth to try to hold in the body shaking sobs and fell forward miserably to support herself by elbows on her lap. She was aware that the other occupants of the flight were giving her uncomfortable stares, but she didn't care about them. She had just lost the two most important things a young girl could have in one day; she didn't care about how any one looked at her. 'I really am a good girl…'
3:00 PM
Every person in the church came to their feet in unison with the musical introduction announcing the bride. The people all craned their heads around to catch a glimpse of the beautiful young woman in all her finery, except a tall man with long silver hair. 'Probably just watching to make sure I don't do something stupid like try to run away.' Inuyasha thought grimly as he found his brother's eyes locked on him.
"You're sure about this?" a whisper so soft only he could make it out came from his shoulder.
"Yes, Miroku." He whispered in return just before Kikyo took her place at his side and handed her bouquet off to a bridesmaid. The crowd reseated, again in almost perfect unison, and had he been in a lighter mood, Inuyasha would have found it funny.
The priest smiled warmly at them and spoke to the congregation. "We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony…" Inuyasha wasn't following his words. The only thing he knew he should concentrate on was acting with dignity and honoring Kikyo as he promised he would. He had to forget the girl and everything he had thought or felt the previous night. It was just one night and he had to accept the fact that it couldn't have been real, but just the thought made him feel like his entire body was hollow and lifeless.
"If anyone here has any reason as to why these two should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."
'He doesn't love her.' Miroku was watching Inuyasha for any indication-anything that would tell him he should stop this whole thing, but his friend's expression never changed and never gave any indication of what was going on in his head. 'He just doesn't love her.' He was right there. It wouldn't be hard to just raise his hand and state that simple fact, but he looked at her. She would be good to him, and Miroku knew that. She just needed the chance and she would be as good a wife to him as a man could ask. She just needed the chance, and he might even grow to love her as much-at least he might have. Could he really destroy the girl's dreams and Inuyasha's honor because his best friend might be in love with some girl they couldn't find? If it were him in Inuyasha's place, he'd want it done, but could he gamble other people's lives on a fantasy and his beliefs on love?
'No.'
"Please repeat after me, and place the ring on his hand." The priest instructed.
"I, Kikyo," he paused and she recited.
"Promise to love, honor, and cherish thee, Inuyasha..."
She said the words.
"To keep thee and comfort thee…"
He knew she meant the words.
"In sickness and in health…"
She slid the ring onto his finger.
"For the rest of my days."
She smiled up at him. It was done.
"Inuyasha," the priest began, "Please repeat after…"
"I'd like to say my own vows." Inuyasha interrupted. "Please." There was a faint murmur though the church. Kikyo, before him, looked into his eyes with confusion and perhaps a little fear. He knew Miroku at his side was staring as well.
"Very… Very well then," said the bewildered priest.
"Kikyo," he began, "For as long as I can remember, I've always realized you were the best thing I would ever have. I promise to honor you and be faithful to you every day of our marriage. I will always protect you and be a good husband to you as you have always been good to me."
'But I do not love you.' He thought as he slipped the ring on her finger. 'Please forgive me.' He nodded to the priest quickly to show he was finished.
"By the power vested in me, I announce thee Man and Wife." The old man said to the congregation. "You may kiss the bride."
Inuyasha lifted the veil and closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry.' He thought and kissed his wife.
***
And the second hardest thing I'll ever do
is telling her about you
***
Next Chapter: Don't Close Your Eyes
(They are "reunited" next chapter and some art work)
***
Love and Marriage
Chapter 2
Improvisational Vows
What's going on?' Inuyasha thought miserably. Miroku was here with a tux. There was a wedding in three hours. And the one thing he wanted to see right now was no where to be found. He didn't remember the score anymore, but it was clear the universe had won.
***
12:02 PM
"What's going on?!" he screamed as he flung his sheets aside and leapt from his bed.
"Whoa! WHOA!" Miroku cried and covered his face. "Get some clothes on man! I can live happily without seeing 'Little Inu' if that's alright!"
Inuyasha grabbed his discarded pair of sweats from the night before. 'This isn't happening!' he thought and was running across the room before he even had them completely on and calling out "Kagome?!" the whole way.
He ran into his bathroom first. Please be there! No, same empty bathroom as he found it every morning, but it was wrong. There was water on his counter! He hated water on the counter and was obsessive about toweling it up after he used his sink. The lights were on, which was another thing that he never allowed. His toilet seat was down, which was always wrong for a man's apartment. Then there were those weird red spots on his floor-- none of it had been there before. It all proved she had been there earlier. He observed it all in a second without giving it much thought as room held no hidden Kagome, he bolted out again, crashing into an ill-placed Miroku who was following him in confusion.
"What the hell is going on?" his friend screamed. No time for Miroku, thought and Inuyasha flung his sliding glass doors open out to his balcony. Nothing. Just a folding camping chair and an old coffee mug for mornings he wanted to actually enjoy the view he suffered the stairs for every day. With no place else he could think to look, he looked up. She couldn't have gotten on the roof could she? No way. "Where did she go?" he asked no one.
"Where did who go?!" a very annoyed someone answered. "Will you please tell me what is going on?!" He looked up to the roof again. Maybe if she used the drain pipe and had a history in the circus… a pitcher collided with his head and knocked him back a step.
"Will you knock it off?!" Inuyasha screamed at him and rubbed his abused head. "I have to find her!"
"Find who?"
"Kagome." Inuyasha said simply as though it were the only logical conclusion in the world.
Miroku's unique mind began to calculate all that he had seen since he arrived this strange morning. Inuyasha naked in bed, plus Inuyasha running frantically around his apartment searching for some missing girl, plus Inuyasha's wedding being scheduled for 3:00 that afternoon, equaled "Oh… what did you do?" he wailed and slapped his hand over his eyes.
"There was this girl." Inuyasha said quietly.
Miroku stared at him incredulously and rubbed his temples. "A girl? The night before your wedding, and there was this girl?" Inuyasha couldn't help thinking there was something seriously wrong about Miroku lecturing him with moral outrage. "I can't believe you!" Miroku yelled. "I don't know what you could possibly be thinking. I can't believe… I didn't think of it first." Miroku smirked at his bewildered friend. You think you know a guy, but even your friends can surprise you.
"Just stop that thought wherever it is in the filth that is your mind." Inuyasha growled. "You don't understand. I have to find her."
"Is your wallet gone or something?"
"Will you please be serious?" The panic and worry on his face convinced Miroku it would be best just to shut up and listen. Inuyasha was definitely not in a joking mood.
"What happened?" he asked again, but much more gently and minus pitcher.
"When I left last night," he started, "I heard a scream. She was being attacked and I fought them. They knocked her out and I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I brought her back here until she woke. When she did, she was so afraid. I told her I wouldn't hurt her and what had happened and then, everything changed." He looked to Miroku silently begging for some sort of answer. "I've never done anything like that before-never just lost my senses over a woman like that. I have to find her!"
This was much worse than Miroku had thought. This hadn't been just a little night of fun before he was tied down for life. He was seriously believed this girl was something he couldn't leave behind.
"What are you saying?" He asked dumbfounded. "You're supposed to get married today."
Inuyasha was silent and looked to the ground, clenching his fists at his sides. "I don't know if I can."
"Come on! Be serious, man." He said. "It's not like you're in love with the girl."
"I don't know." Inuyasha said in misery. "I just don't know."
"Inuyasha," Miroku said, "You and Kikyo have been together for years, but still it's only natural to be scared about getting married. Any man would, and it's understandable that would make you confused about your emotions, especially combined with a few shots a few hours before. Just because you have pre-wedding jitters, you don't just call off your whole future because some woman with a hero complex jumped in your bed!"
That did it.
"She wasn't like that!" He lunged forward, grabbing Miroku by the collar and pinning him against a wall a few inches above the ground.
"Ok! Ok," Miroku choked out while gripping arms that held him up and beginning to turn a fascinating shade of green. "I'm sorry. Just calm down." Inuyasha growled and let him down, turning away as Miroku rubbed the hurt out of his neck and shoulders.
"Just don't say that again." Inuyasha said sternly, "She wasn't like that."
"Look," Miroku said, "I can sympathize here, but you've got to at least try to be rational. I won't suggest anything bad about her again, but just try to think. You're the one who said that if you weren't pathetically, head over heals in love with Kikyo, then it just must not exist in the world, but then some spectacular girl just comes along and changes everything you ever thought?! Inuyasha, even I have to concede that sounds absolutely ridiculous. You don't know anything about this girl."
He looked into his bedroom, remembering her. "You're wrong." He said flatly.
"Oh really?" Miroku crossed his arms over his chest. "You think you know so much about her after one night of sex? Tell me then Lover Boy. What's her last name?"
'Shit.'
"Thought as much." Miroku sighed as his friend walked away and further in his room.
He was staring at his bed. He had noticed something wrong when Miroku was talking and his heart had yet to start up again. He was walking toward it in abject terror and could form no coherent thoughts other than 'Oh shit…' Miroku was still talking as he stumbled and caught himself on the mattress, fisting the covers until his knuckles turned white. "You're not going to like this, Inuyasha, but hear me out. I'm not saying it to be negative on the girl, but you really don't know anything about her. You don't know who else she may have been with. You may need to get tested-I don't care what kind of person you think this girl is, it's stupid to risk your health like that."
"I don't think that's a problem…" Inuyasha said and Miroku gapped at him. It wasn't like him to be this careless. It wasn't like him to be this pale either.
"How the hell can you be sure?!" He screamed and Inuyasha gestured for him to come nearer. He was holding the sheets and hadn't looked away from him through his entire lecture. Curiosity won out as Miroku came to his friend's side. "What is--" He stopped short when he saw what his friend was staring at. His mouth formed a perfect 'O.' There was a deep red blood spot smack in the middle of the bed.
"Maybe it's not what we think." Miroku offered. "Maybe it's…"
"No." Inuyasha interrupted him and clenched his eyes shut to hold in the guilt. He was reliving a private memory of the night before. She had been moaning, panting his name, begging him with whimpers to continue as he had covered every bare inch of her skin with his lips' caresses. He could still remember how the skin of her stomach had tasted when it was covered with thin sweat. Her entire body had been soft and supple and he remembered how her muscles would dance under her skin when he ran his fingers down her sides. There had been one spot, in the dip of her back, where when he touched it to pull her into him she had moaned violently and bucked her hips against him in desperation. Her passion at that touch had driven him crazy and he hadn't been able to hold himself back any longer. He remembered it; when he entered her the first time, there was a resistance. He hadn't even considered it in his longing to be inside her and he just pushed through it in desperate need to remove any obstacle. She had screamed. He realized now that it had been of pain--he had hurt her.
"No, it's exactly what I think." He clenched the sheets in his fist. She had been a virgin. It all clicked: her scream, the blood on his bed, the red spots in the bathroom-- She must have woken up alone and found the blood and tried to clean herself. She must have been so afraid. 'What have I done?' he thought angrily.
Miroku watched him completely dumbfounded. Now he was completely at a loss. 'Why did she do it?' he wondered, 'One night stand… gone in the morning…not something that screams out "virgin." What does it mean? Could they really… no way. People don't fall in love like that in real life, especially not Inuyasha. This isn't some fairy tale.' He shook his head in surprise at his own cynicism. He was supposed to be the romantic of the friendship, but things weren't really going with the natural order of the universe lately. "So… what are you going to do?"
"I don't know." If the universe wanted to strike him down dead right then he wouldn't have complained.
Miroku looked back at the clock; it was getting late. If he didn't do something soon they were going to have a very angry woman in a gown to deal with as well and he didn't like to picture the scene. "Inuyasha…" he said carefully, "The ceremony is supposed to start in a little more than two hours. What… will you do… about Kikyo?"
'Kikyo…' he thought miserably. This was all so unfair to her.
He was silent so long Miroku didn't think he was going to answer and he didn't want to ask again too soon. Enough was going on in his friend's head, and he didn't need someone else's nagging adding to it. But still, the clock was ticking. Maybe he would try to go find the girl-not an easy task considering that her last name was not among that vast knowledge he thought he had of her. It definitely would not be fun asking every person in the building if they had seen a girl sneaking out and if they happened to catch which direction she went. They would have one hell of a time, but maybe they could do it.
Hey! He couldn't let his best friend do this alone, now could he?
"I'm going to tell her." Inuyasha said quietly and snapped Miroku out of his search plans. "I'll tell Kikyo the truth… the whole truth. She deserves that much." Miroku patted his pocket to feel the rings; maybe they could get the money back or something because it didn't look like there was going to be a wedding this afternoon. "She won't let go…" Inuyasha continued and shook his head, answering Miroku's thoughts without realizing it, "but she needs to know everything. That way I can know I never lied to her."
"She'll…" Miroku stuttered, "You think she'll still want to marry you?"
"I'll find out, I guess." He said. "If she does, I will honor her wishes, but she at least has to know."
"I--" Miroku started. No, he wouldn't argue. He didn't even know what he would protest against, but something felt wrong. It was Inuyasha's decision, but he had been starting to look forward to the challenge of searching the entire city for one girl that had vanished into thin air. "You should get cleaned up and changed then. I--" he looked to the bed again, "I'll get things cleaned up here and call a cab."
Inuyasha nodded and took the garment bag with his tuxedo with him into the bathroom. Miroku stripped the sheets from the bed.
"What a mess." He whispered not thinking about the sheets. 'That poor girl…I wonder if she's all alone.' He thought.
"Hey!" he called out suddenly, "Inuyasha?"
"Yeah?" Came the response from the bathroom.
"Do you think you could pay for the cab?" Miroku asked. "I…um… I lost my wallet last night."
He wasn't sure, but Miroku thought he heard a smothered, snorting laugh from behind the door.
1:30 PM
He stepped into the main room freshly showered and wearing the new tuxedo pants and shirt. Why bother with the tie and bothersome little knick-knacks until he made it to the pavilion. His bed was already stripped, he noticed. Miroku hadn't wasted any time, but had he taken the sheets to be washed or simply thrown them away? Did he think that would make it have never happened?
What in the world was he going to do? He collapsed miserably on his bare mattress and held his head in his hands. Miroku had to be right, he knew it. He just wasn't thinking rationally. It was perfectly common to be nervous about getting married so it was perfectly logical that he could just invent these agonizing mixed emotions to that girl. He wouldn't possibly fall in love with someone he just met when he was marrying Kikyo! It was all in his head--it just had to be.
He flopped on his back with his knees hanging off the side and looked at the ceiling. This was insane! He would never find anybody better than Kikyo, and that was obvious. She had been with him for as long as he could remember and she was good to him, and was about as perfect as a woman as anyone could hope to find. And besides, he could already list a dozen things about that girl that would drive him insane after one day. She's stubborn, she says the first thing that comes into her head without thinking about it first, she wandered around at night alone without thinking what might happen, she was fidgety, she leaves water on the bathroom counter, she leaves lights on when she's not in a room, she hums in her sleep, and she runs away in the middle of the night without even bothering to wake him up! Why was he thinking about this so much! It shouldn't be a hard choice.
'Alright! That's all there is to it.' He thought and sat upright again. He put his hands on his calves and pushed himself up to stand, but as he looked down, he caught a faint violet glimmer under the bed. He went to his knees and grabbed at it. Opening his fist slowly, he found he clutched the jewel from her necklace. 'Oh no…' he thought. It had been so precious to her--the last gift from her father. His heart softened with such extreme guilt. He even took that from her. It had been the symbol to her of all love should be.
He looked at the jewel and smiled slightly. It was funny, now. All those things seriously would drive him nuts, and a lot of them already did, but somehow they didn't really seem that bad. They actually seemed kind of funny now, but maybe that was because they were coming from her. He rolled it around in his palm watching how the light played with it. He remembered her words when she had played with it in a similar fashion. 'It's like you love even those imperfections because they belong to the one you love and they really do become perfect to you.'
He put the jewel in his pocket and grabbed his jacket. 'Ridiculous.' He thought as he locked the door behind him
2:00 PM
"Hi, I need to check in." Kagome said politely to the clerk behind a counter.
"What's the name Miss?"
"Higurashi," She replied and wiped her cheek, "Kagome."
"Yes…" the clerk began noticing the customer's actions. The girl's eyes were blood shot and her cheeks swollen and red. "Here you are." She said typing quickly. "Everything is in order Miss Higurashi. I have you down for a one-way flight to Los Angeles, California. Is that correct?" Kagome nodded. "Your flight is currently on time and will be departing in about an hour. Do you have anything you would like to check?"
Kagome nodded again meekly and placed a bulging yellow bag on the baggage stand. It wasn't much for luggage, but it had proved itself on many trips. She didn't want to bring to much baggage with her while starting out her new life, and her family would send her little things she needed in the future.
The clerk handed her standard agreement papers and she answered all the predictable questions. No, she didn't have any weapons. No, she didn't have any concealed narcotics. Yes, she understood that her bag was subject to being searched should there be any question of it's contents and might be subjected to a random search if selected, like she would actually say no to this question even if there was something illegal there. No, the bag had not been out of her possession since she packed it. No, she didn't have anything to hide, especially not that she had just snuck out of a man's apartment and frantically searched for her motel so she could grab her stupid bag from her unused room that cost a small fortune. A tear splashed on the forms and she wiped her eyes bitterly.
"Are you alright, Miss?" the clerk asked with gentle concern and she nodded quickly before handing back the forms. "Are you leaving home for the first time?"
That would do. "Yes." Kagome forced a smile.
"It's always hard the first time." She offered.
'You have no idea.' Kagome thought as she thanked the lady headed towards the gate.
2:05 PM
Inuyasha stood in checked his reflection in his dressing area, still working up his nerve. A man learns a healthy amount of respect and fear of a woman during the course of his life, and when it came to a woman's wedding day, if a man is to say or do anything to upset the balance of the day, he has to accept the fact that he just might end up dead. Considering this, he had decided he would rather face Kikyo fully dressed and not as a mess. She would be more open to him if she were not immediately caught off guard by his state of dress. Now that that excuse no longer worked, he considered if maybe a friendly phone call wouldn't work better, perhaps from Fiji.
'Get a hold of yourself you fucking coward!' he snapped at himself. There was no way he could put this off any longer. He owed her the truth and there was no way he would dishonor her in such a way. He held his breath and opened the door into the entry hall. Her dressing room was just on the opposite side. 'Just please no shrieking bridesmaids?' he silently pleaded with the universe and he pushed the door open and slid into the room.
Kikyo was alone ands she looked absolutely perfect. Beautiful and brilliant: she was a talented beginning doctor who was already making her path to the top. She was compassionate to those less fortunate, good with children, always squeezed toothpaste from the bottom of the tube, and was one of those women who could eat whatever she wanted and never gain an ounce, but still ate only healthy foods for their nutritional value. She really was one of those perfect women, and he had come to tell her he had slept with someone else the night before he was supposed to marry her and might possibly be in love with the girl. Wonderful.
"You are not supposed to be in here." She said without turning, but he caught her playful smile in the mirror.
"Hi…" he said with a soft smile.
"Hi." She turned and smiled back to him, like any woman who was about to get married would smile. 'I am pond scum.' He thought and couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes.
"Inuyasha?" She asked… in that voice. That 'I don't like that look in your eyes, but I'm going to try to sound reassuring just in case it's not the something bad I think it is, but let's face it… it probably is and I'm going to kill this bastard if he's done anything to screw this day up' voice.
"Kikyo," he walked to her and took both her hands in his own. "I have something I have to tell you." He saw the fear immediately flush over her face over words she knew could never be a good thing.
"Is..." her hands were shaking in his. "Is there something wrong?" and he gave a mute nod. She felt her heart jump up to her throat.
"Last night," he held her hands firmer and noted how she paled. "I rescued a girl from an attack." Kikyo nodded dumbly afraid of where she expected this to lead. "Kikyo, I'm so sorry to do this to you now." He closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the hurt in her. "I was unfaithful." She gripped his hands tightly and when he opened his eyes he saw tears beginning to fall from her lashes. He would have liked it so much better if she would just kill him and not cry. "Kikyo, I couldn't let you not know." He whispered to her and couldn't bear looking her in the eyes.
"Inuyasha," she forced her voice to stay steady, "I can't hide how hurt I am, but this is one night. I've heard how men are especially confused before they are to be married and I've heard many stories of what can go on at a bachelor party. But, I want to be with you, Inuyasha. I still want to be with you, and I can forgive this one night."
"Kikyo," he his hold became firmer still and he dropped to his knees in front of her. "It may be more than that."
She gave a shuddering gasp. This may be even worse than she had imagined. "Are… are you in love with this girl, Inuyasha?"
"I don't know." He said for the second time that day.
"So, are you telling me you are calling off the wedding?" tears were splashing on his hands.
"That is up to you, Kikyo." He said gently. "If you still want this, knowing the truth, I will honor my promise and be your husband. But I couldn't let you not know the truth."
"Inuyasha?" she said softly and he looked up into her eyes. "You know I want to be with you…and I can't believe you when you say your feelings for this girl. This one girl, after one night, how would she be more precious to you than me? How could se mean more to you than I who have loved you for so long. I will be good to you, Inuyasha. We will have a good life together, you and I, and raise a family. I'll make you happy, and I'll try every day to make you so. She can't mean more to you than all of that. We have already had so much of our lives together-I won't let one night take away our future. My love is real, Inuyasha, and I'll show you ever day that you are mistaken about this girl."
"Alright, Kikyo." He nodded and pushed himself to his feet. "If this is what you want."
"Yes." She whispered still holding on to his hands. "Yes, this is what I want."
2:50 PM
"Passengers, this is Flight 821 non-stop to Los Angeles, California." The pilot announced over the intercom. "We will be taking off shortly so please turn off any electronic devices and make sure your safety belts are securely fastened. In the case of an emergency…" he rattled off the standard procedures and Kagome looked out her window over the wing listening to the engines warm up.
'I'm not running away.'
The plane was heading towards the runway. Soon it would be picking up speed and lifting off the ground, leaving her life and home in the past and ten thousand feet below. It was a brand new day and she had a brand new kind of pain pulsing all through her lower body.
Kagome shifted in her seat and couldn't seem to get comfortable. She was so sore she wondered how she would be able to survive the long flight over seas. She sighed and asked a flight attendant for a glass of water and dug in her purse for a small bottle of aspirin thinking it might dull the pain enough so she could sit still. She found the pink round container hidden in the side pocket and remembered a much more important pill she hadn't yet taken that day. She opened the birth control discretely inside her purse and took out that day's medication. 'To think I started this last year just to regulate and get clearer skin.' She sighed at the thought. Pill or no pill, she would still make an appointment with a doctor as soon as she got into her apartment.
The flight attendant handed her the glass of water as she passed with a beverage cart and Kagome thanked her and washed down her pill. 'Why did I do it?' She held in a sob. 'I'm a good girl. I've never done anything like that. Why?' Since she woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around her naked body, she had loathed herself. The only thing that had kept her from crumbling into a sobbing mess as she tried to clean herself, find her clothes and dress, and escape had been the fear of the man waking. She just hadn't been able to face him.
'I'm not running away.' She thought. After all, there was no way she would have been able to stay. What would she have said if he had woken up to find her in his bed? He would have probably been furious with her. He would have screamed and called her a dirty little tramp, which she felt no better than in her own heart. He was supposed to get married; he must have just been apprehensive and having the second thoughts that everyone is supposed to have. He had just saved her, that must have just made her too weak willed to resist him.
'I'm not running away.' She had worked hard for this job and was about to start a whole new life. Was she just supposed to blow off the opportunity of a life time and miss her flight to another country? She couldn't give up her entire future. She didn't want him to have to give up his. What if he hadn't been angry? What if they had woken up wrapped in each others arms and discovered that they miraculously were in love. They could throw away all their plans and dreams to spend their days passionately living for each other and testing their love against the coldness of the world like an old romance novel. Yeah right. That kind of thing just doesn't happen! Leaving quietly had been the best thing to do in the situation.
"I'm not running away." She whispered and let a tear fall in her lap. It had been a mistake and staying would have just screwed up everyone's life. She reached to her collar unconsciously but something was missing. Now aware of her hand and what she was doing, she searched her neck for the precious chain that supported the jewel. 'Oh no!' She checked in her lap, in her shirt, the floor near her feet and under her chair. It was gone. She had lost her father's necklace.
'Oh please no!' She covered her mouth to try to hold in the body shaking sobs and fell forward miserably to support herself by elbows on her lap. She was aware that the other occupants of the flight were giving her uncomfortable stares, but she didn't care about them. She had just lost the two most important things a young girl could have in one day; she didn't care about how any one looked at her. 'I really am a good girl…'
3:00 PM
Every person in the church came to their feet in unison with the musical introduction announcing the bride. The people all craned their heads around to catch a glimpse of the beautiful young woman in all her finery, except a tall man with long silver hair. 'Probably just watching to make sure I don't do something stupid like try to run away.' Inuyasha thought grimly as he found his brother's eyes locked on him.
"You're sure about this?" a whisper so soft only he could make it out came from his shoulder.
"Yes, Miroku." He whispered in return just before Kikyo took her place at his side and handed her bouquet off to a bridesmaid. The crowd reseated, again in almost perfect unison, and had he been in a lighter mood, Inuyasha would have found it funny.
The priest smiled warmly at them and spoke to the congregation. "We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony…" Inuyasha wasn't following his words. The only thing he knew he should concentrate on was acting with dignity and honoring Kikyo as he promised he would. He had to forget the girl and everything he had thought or felt the previous night. It was just one night and he had to accept the fact that it couldn't have been real, but just the thought made him feel like his entire body was hollow and lifeless.
"If anyone here has any reason as to why these two should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."
'He doesn't love her.' Miroku was watching Inuyasha for any indication-anything that would tell him he should stop this whole thing, but his friend's expression never changed and never gave any indication of what was going on in his head. 'He just doesn't love her.' He was right there. It wouldn't be hard to just raise his hand and state that simple fact, but he looked at her. She would be good to him, and Miroku knew that. She just needed the chance and she would be as good a wife to him as a man could ask. She just needed the chance, and he might even grow to love her as much-at least he might have. Could he really destroy the girl's dreams and Inuyasha's honor because his best friend might be in love with some girl they couldn't find? If it were him in Inuyasha's place, he'd want it done, but could he gamble other people's lives on a fantasy and his beliefs on love?
'No.'
"Please repeat after me, and place the ring on his hand." The priest instructed.
"I, Kikyo," he paused and she recited.
"Promise to love, honor, and cherish thee, Inuyasha..."
She said the words.
"To keep thee and comfort thee…"
He knew she meant the words.
"In sickness and in health…"
She slid the ring onto his finger.
"For the rest of my days."
She smiled up at him. It was done.
"Inuyasha," the priest began, "Please repeat after…"
"I'd like to say my own vows." Inuyasha interrupted. "Please." There was a faint murmur though the church. Kikyo, before him, looked into his eyes with confusion and perhaps a little fear. He knew Miroku at his side was staring as well.
"Very… Very well then," said the bewildered priest.
"Kikyo," he began, "For as long as I can remember, I've always realized you were the best thing I would ever have. I promise to honor you and be faithful to you every day of our marriage. I will always protect you and be a good husband to you as you have always been good to me."
'But I do not love you.' He thought as he slipped the ring on her finger. 'Please forgive me.' He nodded to the priest quickly to show he was finished.
"By the power vested in me, I announce thee Man and Wife." The old man said to the congregation. "You may kiss the bride."
Inuyasha lifted the veil and closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry.' He thought and kissed his wife.
And the second hardest thing I'll ever do
is telling her about you
***
Next Chapter: Don't Close Your Eyes
(They are "reunited" next chapter and some art work)