A/n; One of the last sad chapters I'll write dealing with Misty's death. There's this and then probably two other chapters. I hate to say this, but more sad stuff is to come! But… yay! Finally some Lily and James action! I know Mary is excited to hear this!

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When all had been said and done, James collapsed into bed still wearing his clothes. Misty's death had been draining and fearful for everyone at Hogwarts, but especially to Lily. He'd never seen her in such preoccupied, emotional stress.

Turning over to his side so that he was facing the window, he looked at his nightstand table. The typical male stuff stood there: hair gel (not that it did much good), some cologne, a clock set in expensive wood with his name inscribed in gold below it, a Transfiguration book opened to the page they had homework on and a couple of pictures. One of those pictures was of him and Misty at Hogsmeade in the beginning of the year, when they had gone out.

He smiled to himself and grabbed the picture off the stand. Lily took it with a Muggle camera so the memory was preserved forever. She looked so happy and full of life with a big smile and her cheeks red from the afternoon's excitement.

What kind of sick person kills someone like her? James thought, getting angry all over again.

He set the picture back on the stand and rolled back over onto his back, his hands behind his head. James stared up at the ceiling, hoping something would distract him from the hellish holiday.

James really should've checked up on Lily; he didn't want her to do anything drastic. With the sinking of his heart, again he thought of Lily in her pain. How wretched for her to have to go through something like the death of a good friend! And to think, he'd been absolutely awful to her since their second year. She wasn't that terrible… all right, so she was just as nasty to him, but she possessed the uncanny ability to make even the darkest room brighter.

Realizing that he'd just thought she wasn't that bad, he groaned and pulled his pillow over his face, smelling the clean scent of freshly laundered pillowcases. He could just stay in bed and never leave it again; the bed never did anything to him. Lily, who'd bruised him more times than he'd like to count, had done plenty to hurt him. Maybe, in some cosmic force sort of way, the fates were warning her to live life a little less viciously. He hoped that was the case. He couldn't stand another brutal injury. It was hard enough to play Quidditch as it was without killing yourself on those runaway school brooms.

"Knock knock," a voice said timidly.

"It's open," James called, his voice muffled by his pillow.

"You trying to suffocate yourself, Potter?" Lily asked softly but he picked up a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Yeah. It's not working too well though," James said sitting up, putting the pillow in his lap. Lily laughed nervously, tugging at a stand of her red hair.

"I – well – you know, I was just wandering around the Common Room, trying to figure out what to do with my life…" Lily started hopelessly, trying to come up with a good conversation.

James cocked an eyebrow. "You're doing what now?"

"I'm phenomenally bored," Lily said with a large yawn.

James nodded as if in understanding. "Well, if it helps, I'm fucking bored too!"

Lily sat down on his bed, sinking into the fluffy mattress. "Wow… you're bed is really – soft…"

"Thanks. The girl I last slept with said that too," James said flirtatiously.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're such a little imp, Potter."

James shrugged, smiling in his usual charming manner. "What can I say?"

"Well, you've got better beds than the girls do! It's like sleeping on a board!" Lily said enviously.

"Too bad for you!" James said with a laugh.

Lily shrugged, but smiled as well.

Bloody hell… she's gorgeous… James thought to himself suddenly. The moonlight was streaming in through the window; illuminating her pale skin and making her nearly glow… but not in the bad way, almost like an angel. Her red hair, though it looked a bit jaded, stood out stunningly against her creamy shoulders. To his surprise, the only thing she wore was a pastel-colored green nightgown with thin straps and went down just past her knees. If only Sirius could see her now, he thought and had to bite back a grin.

"Potter… you ok? You spaced out on me," Lily said waving her hand in front of him.

James blinked. "Sorry."

"That's perfectly all right…" she murmured, looking down at the bedspread and blushing under his heavy gaze.

"I wish I knew what to do to make you stop hurting," James said quietly.

Lily looked up in mild astonishment. "You can't do anything James… nothing will help."

James' heart constricted at the pain laced through those words. It was a helpless, sort of pleading phrase.

"And I meant – I meant to tell you earlier," Lily said biting her lip, "but thanks for being with me last night…"

James held up his hand, silencing her. "Don't thank me, Lily, I would've done it anyway. One Gryffindor's pain is every Gryffindor's pain."

Lily winced at how corny that sounded. James smiled in spite of himself.

"Sorry – it seemed like the right thing to say," he said innocently.

"I've never known you to be so cliché!" Lily said in astonishment.

"Ah well, there are many things you don't know about me," James said a bit more seriously.

"It's a pity our relationship never went anywhere," Lily said with a touch of remorse.

James nodded solemnly, although he certainly felt it was getting somewhere now. "We could've really been something."

"Hailed prankers," Lily said wistfully.

"Best friends," James said, stretching it a bit.

Lily kept her mouth closed but had been on the verge of saying lovers. She didn't realize how wrong she'd be by not saying that, because James was thinking the exact same thing.

"So, funeral next week right?" she said to fill the awkward moment.

"Yeah! I mean, yes it's quite sad," James said quickly. He couldn't help thinking he sounded a little too enthusiastic.

"I can't believe she's really gone," Lily said in disbelief.

"She's never really gone, Lily," James said practically.

Lily looked at him and immediately wished she hadn't. He looked so handsome and – and carefree, sitting there on his bed with his legs crossed and his pillow in his lap. All he had worn the entire day were his plaid boxer pants and a white shirt. Lily mentally kicked herself from thinking those dangerous thoughts. His raven black hair looked so tempting that Lily just wanted to forget all of those boundaries she'd laid down and run her fingers through it.

Oh my LORD, it's happened, she thought with mortification, I'm turning into a giggly, gossiping girl who'd rather spend her time chewing bubblegum and twirling her hair than ever thinking about something serious!

"What do you mean, she's never gone?" Lily asked remembering what they were talking about before she began fantasizing about him.

"Well, do you honestly believe that a loved one is ever really gone?" James inquired.

"I wouldn't know… too early to tell," Lily said quickly.

"You tell me what its like one week after school's started and tell me exactly how you feel," James said. "You promise?"

Lily nodded. "I promise."

"Lily, are you sure you're ok? You seem kind of spacey," James asked, looking concerned.

Yes I'm perfectly fine, except for the fact that I THINK I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU! Lily's brain shouted.

"Oh, I'm fine… consumed by grief, but fine," she said instead.

James laughed and ruffled her hair. "You're ok, Carrots."

"You too," Lily said.

James had to keep his hands firmly in his lap in order to keep them from wandering over to where she was sitting. He couldn't even begin to describe the mad need coursing through him, to be nearer to her, to know what she was thinking. And it only took a second; it only took her presence in the room to make him think those things, those dangerous things. The thought of feeling this – this overwhelmingly strong emotion (he couldn't place what it was) scared him out of his wits. Sure, he'd liked those girls he'd dated, but he'd never felt for them like he did Lily.

"Bloody hell, Lily," he said finally.

"What?" Lily asked, bewildered.

"Nothing," James said quickly.

"James… is there something on your mind?" Lily asked tentatively.

"Just – thinking about Misty," he replied.

"Oh. Me too," she lied. Oh, she wanted to kiss him so badly! And it didn't even make any sense! Up until five minutes ago, she'd never had her insides turn to gooey mush when he spoke. She'd never noticed the way he said her name… or how he looked when he smiled in his own sexy way. She knew she was making an awful mistake - she'd have her heart broken within a week, tops. Lily disliked James, but she knew him better than most people. He was afraid of commitment, so when things got emotional, he backed out. She couldn't love him. She could not. Hell, she couldn't even like him. Lily Evans was no fool, not even for James Potter, who had made a fool out of a lot of girls.

"What're you thinking about now?" James asked in a low voice.

"Misty," Lily squeaked.

"Come here, Lily," James said patting the space right next to him.

She audibly gulped and crawled over to him, curling up against his chest. She inhaled deeply and suddenly she didn't hate the smell of his cologne. It was so… James. James slowly inched his arms around her slim waist, feeling the thin silky material that was the only hindrance that separated his hands from her skin. He nearly fainted.

"This is crazy," James said in a barely audible whisper.

Lily's heart rate increased upon hearing this. "I know."

"Do you hate me, Lily?" James asked. She turned around so she could face him, finding his intense gaze again. He looked at her seriously, lifting her chin up with his hand.

"Um –" Lily said but before she could utter the rest of her sentence, which would've been lanced with stutters anyway, he dropped his hand and kissed her, right on the mouth.

Poor Lily nearly fainted in shock and yet at the same time, nearly squealed with delight. A thousand fireworks shot off in her head and warmed her from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. She felt dizzy for a minute, then realized who was kissing her: James Potter. Though she thoroughly enjoyed feeling the intimate contact, she was frightened and a bit apprehensive. All the bad memories of James came back at her and with a frightened whimper, she moved back.

"Wha -?" James asked dazedly. He looked flushed, as though he couldn't believe he'd just done that, however much he'd enjoyed it.

"James, I – I can't," Lily said timidly, "Please just… don't – don't –"

"Don't do what? What're you talking about?" James asked confused.

Lily let out a little panicked shriek. "I mean, don't kiss me or – or say things or – oh, God, I don't know just keep your distance!"

"Are you all right?" James asked trying to pull her in closer to him.

Lily struggled a tad then started crying. Big, salty tears dripped down her cheeks and fell onto the sheets.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry – I didn't realize you'd still be under that much stress," James said, feeling wretched having kissed her in such a vulnerable emotional stage.

She threw her arms around his neck, crying into his shirt. "No, it's not that."

"What is it, then? Please tell me," James said patting her back.

"Don't play games, don't do this to me –"

"I'm not playing any games, Lily," James said flatly.

"Oh no? Then why did you kiss me?" Lily said sniffling.

"Because – I think that I –"

"No! Don't say it," Lily said quieting down now that she'd had her little vent.

"All right then, I won't!" James replied.

She exhaled deeply, resting her forehead on his shoulder. She hiccupped a few times, but other than that she was fine. He rubbed small circles on her lower back, reassuring her, telling her that he was still there.

Finally, she raised her head up. She looked at him with her watery emerald eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's all my fault – I – I shouldn't have done that," he said sheepishly.

"It was nice, for the most part," Lily said softly, kissing his cheek.

"Really?" James asked slightly taken aback.

"Mmhmm," Lily said kissing his other cheek.

"What're you doing?" James asked apprehensively.

"Just wondering about how James would react to something like this," Lily said in a slightly huskier voice, placing small kisses all the way around his jaw line. James grinned to himself; he was enjoying this far too much to come up with anything witty right now.

He let his hands drop farther along down her slender yet curvy body until they reached her hips, and her fingertips drew small circles on them. She smiled against his neck as she kissed it all the way down to the juncture between the shoulder and neck. Wondering about what kind of reaction she'd get from him, she nipped it slightly. He jumped but moaned his approval.

"James wishes Lily to know he liked that very much," James said in a definite lower voice.

"Wait, I'm not done yet," Lily said, smiling impishly.

"Not done yet?" James asked incredulously. Jesus, this girl was amazing. One minute she'd be an absolute bitch, the next she'd be crying her eyes out and then this tempestuous, fiery Lily Evans would emerge. He'd yet to explore the other sides of Lily, but so far her passionate, fiery side was the one he liked the best.

She put her finger to his lips. "Don't talk."

"Ok," James said stupidly.

Lily laughed. "I want to know what it's like to kiss you."

And with these words, she lowered her lips onto his. This time, the kiss lacked initial shyness and tentativeness. Slowly recovering from what Lily had said and done that had made him temporarily stupid, he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, bringing her closer to him. Not protesting, she draped her arms around his neck. He tried a bit of tongue and it worked excellently, leaving Lily wanting much more than she could ever imagine. Again curious about how James reacted to certain things, she bit his lower lip a bit hard and tugged. His eyes flew open, moaning a bit more. Happily satisfied with these results, Lily pressed her lips a bit harder against his, wanting more out of the kiss. He happily obliged.

Several breathless minutes later, she broke the kiss. James looked incredibly put out and slightly dumbfounded.

"Lily, you're such a bad girl," James said smiling.

She rolled her eyes, her lips red and kind of swollen. "Oh, you're the worst of them all."

"That was a very interesting kissing session… can't say I've ever done anything like that," James said pondering aloud.

"Oh, my God. What are people going to say when they find this out?" Lily asked.

James laughed. "Let them say what they want."

"Sounds all right to me," Lily said.

"Where did you learn to – to do that?" He asked.

Lily shrugged. "Don't know. I just wondered what it'd be like to do that."

James laughed. "No girl has ever done that before for me."

"Really? I would've thought that there would've been a lot more contact," Lily said in a blasé voice.

"No, I wouldn't let them," he said.

"You wouldn't let them?" Lily repeated shocked.

"Yeah, all that stuff is just bogus what people say," James said indignantly.

"Well, that's news to me…" she replied.

"See? There are a lot of things you don't know about me," James said simply.

Lily yawned. "You're right about that… but I hope it changes. I'm going to bed!"

She kissed him again, softly and sweetly. He took a chance and ran his fingers through her silky red hair.

"We're getting too attached," James said in a guilty voice.

"I don't mind if you don't," Lily said shrugging and walked out.

James sat back, happier than he had been in days, recalling how she smelled and how her lips felt so warm and smooth.

Absolutely giddy with happiness, Lily skipped back to her room. She could've burst out into song… if she could sing. No one had ever kissed her the way James had… he was so experienced and knew what to do and… oh, it was just perfect.

Of course, not that she would've had anyone to compare his kisses to… her first kiss was James Potter.

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A/N: Aww… too sweet! And a bit of (ok, a LOT of) l/j fluff! Yes, this was a bit more lighthearted than I had intended but aw HELL! I'm so tired of them fighting, aren't you? (beta reader: Yes…yes we are.)