A/n; Uh oh it's the big 3-0! Woo! This chapter is just a random songfic I decided to write because this song really describes what Lily's going through… I think. It's 'Tomorrow' by Avril Lavigne so you might want to listen to it while you read or whatever =)
To Sorrow Personified: I'm so sorry you thought I meant I was finishing the story in two chapters or more! Trust me, it'll take much longer than two chapters to finish it =)
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It looked like rain as clouds brewed overhead on the Quidditch field. Jonathan Quigley, as James had predicted, had become captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Not that James resented him too much for that position; he'd get it soon enough.
"Heard about you and Lily Evans," Jonathan said. James shrugged; Jonathan was one of those people who were so horridly preppy that it was almost unbearable to be around him.
"No big," James said.
"She's cute," Jonathan mused aloud.
James swung his leg over his broom, not commenting and kicking off. Jonathan quickly followed in pursuit.
He must want something, James thought, annoyed.
"It was quite an episode this morning. The Professors were all talking about it on their break," Jonathan continued as James tried to warm up his numb body.
"Yes, well, I've got a prat for a friend so what're you going to do?" James said jokingly.
"Sirius Black?" Jonathan asked, the way you might answer a trivia question.
"Yeah, him," James answered.
"He's quite a character as well! Are you and those other two boys some sort of band of friends?"
James wished to God he'd stop talking. Perhaps he could succeed in shoving him off his broom – or at least mortally wounding him. All he ever did was poke into James' personal affairs and did it ever piss him off. And James wished Jonathan would stop saying 'quite'; it made him sound like a pansy.
"No, we participate in what's called peaceful coexistence," James said sarcastically, hoping his four-syllable word (coexistence) would confuse him.
"Haha, that's very funny! You're very funny, Potter," Jonathan said with an annoying laugh.
Hahaha… do you even know what I just said? James thought to himself.
"So does this mean that you and Lily are dating?" Jonathan asked.
Nosy little shit, James thought derisively.
"I don't know what it means," James lied. He'd pretended ever since that morning that he was absolutely fine with the fact Lily couldn't like him because her reputation was at stake and it was 'morally wrong' despite the fact that he was dying inside.
"I think you two are cute together," Jonathan said, saying 'cute' for the second time in their conversation. James wondered if Jonathan was on drugs.
"Thank you," James said curtly and sped off towards the other end of the field before he could reply.
Sudden rain burst from the shadowy clouds in big, fat droplets. Within minutes, the entire team (who'd gathered for a rather cold Tuesday practice) was soaked down to the bone. Shivering and numb, James tried to concentrate on his playing skills instead of the fact that he couldn't feel his legs.
"Come on Levey, throw the Quaffle in the hoop! Good! Now, Potter, your turn!" Jonathan had them running drills where the first person would start at the opposite end of the field and then pass it to the second person and then the third person would throw it into the hoop. James flew to the other end of the field and went full speed towards Stacey Levey, the other 4th year Chaser. Stacey flew over to the 5th year Chaser, Trevor Cullman and he tossed it into the hoop with a flourish.
"Good! You guys rest up, I've just got to drill the Seeker and then we'll call it a night; too cold to play!" Jonathan said.
Wuss, James thought tartly.
Back at the castle, Lily had in hand a quill and parchment all ready to start her Care of Magical Creatures Essay (How The Invention of the Muggle Leash has Helped Wizards Keep Pets Under Control.) She had changed out of her Hogwarts attire and into her favorite pair of plain black sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She'd told herself for the past half hour that she'd start her essay, but her quill was busy collecting dust at her feet while she thought to herself.
And I wanna believe youWhen you tell me that it will be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
But I don't
She didn't mean to sound so superficial - when she talked to James, that is - but she always ended up sounding like the girls back in the Muggle world. Lily was still kicking herself over what she'd said that morning: what an idiot. Ok, so she'd had a crush before but it never lasted this long or felt so – oh heck, felt so right! She didn't even know what she was talking about: barely fourteen and talking about being in love. It was bloody ridiculous but at the same time she felt that nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her that maybe this was it: maybe James was it.
When you say that it's gonna beIt always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today…
How many times had she told herself that it would be all right? For her to just accept James, despite the fact she thought him an utter prick. It was all based on pride, her pride. James was ready to just freely admit that he loved her and that he didn't give a damn what anyone thought. But it was different for Lily… she couldn't just toss caution to the wind, she didn't want to end up like every other girl he'd dated – just another flavor of the week. Especially when she was so sure this was what she wanted…
I don't know how I feel
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day
He'd just have to wait. That was it: she'd call the shots and if he wasn't ready to accept that, then he should just go and date one of his fangirls.
It's always been up to youIt's turning around, it's up to me
I'm gonna do what I have to do
Just don't…
Give me a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today…
God, this was confusing. All she'd wanted out of life was to get by, no hassle, no pain, and no stress. She'd grown tired of thinking about it, but all she wanted to do was let go of her old life, her own world – the Muggle one. There was so much bitterness between her family, she'd just give it all up to know she'd been given a second chance by getting that letter accepting her to Hogwarts. Hogwarts was her godsend, her miracle. She'd never dream she'd get this far: friends, a good goal (she wanted to become an Auror) and James. Lily always thought James was a blessing in disguise: he kept her on her toes and she liked it that way.
I don't know how I feelTomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day
She shrugged, picking up her quill. She tried to put James in the back of her mind…
And I want to believe youWhen you tell me that it'll be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
Not today…
Tomorrow it may change…
Tomorrow it may change…
Tomorrow it may change…
Tomorrow it may change…
Lily smiled. It didn't work pushing him in the back of her mind because he'd always resurface. She'd be ready to talk it out… but not today, maybe tomorrow…
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A/N: Short irrelevant chapter. Just what we needed before we get all complicated again. And I simply love Avril Lavigne and I'll probably use another one of her songs… yes, there'll be some more songfics later on! Thanks, R/R!