A/n; This part of the story is still in it's rough draft, meaning I'm kind of making this up as I go along… but I swear to God, I've got a 4-page plot thing that I've written! It's just… getting to where I need to be is my biggest problem. But anyway, happy reading!

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"I still cannot believe you didn't tell us," Sirius said blankly for the third time that night. Stretched out on his four-poster, he was trying to break his own record of eating the most disgusting Bertie Botts flavors. His previous comment was of course referring to the somewhat searing kissing session James and Lily had conducted while they were away. James had finally been broken down enough to tell them the truth, even though he'd denied it that morning at breakfast, considering the fact he didn't believe there'd be anything else going on between them for a long time.

"Yeah James, I thought we could trust you!" Remus scolded him.

"Well I was going to –"

"No you weren't! I know you," Sirius said in a matter-of-fact voice, "and you would've been too proud to admit you fell in love with the one girl in this school who didn't love you back!"

"That's low, Sirius," James said quietly, but at the same time he knew that he was right.

"It's the damned truth!" Remus said.

"But I knew it! I knew it!" Sirius whooped triumphantly.

"No you didn't!" James exclaimed, embarrassed.

Sirius propped himself up on his elbows, digging around in the semi-darkness trying to find a vomit-flavored bean. "I knew it all bloody along."

"How?" James asked with a smirk.

"Because you always blushed around her when we were littler and I remember that whenever you caught her looking at another boy she liked, you'd always get this weird look on your face," Sirius said in a 'haha I told you so' voice.

"Sirius, James does that all the time," Remus said annoyed, flicking off pieces of parchment off his bed from his homework.

"Yeah, but – "

"But maybe he just had to get Lily out of his system. Maybe she was just a glitch in his system and she just took a bit longer to get out of," Remus said in a smart-alecky voice.

"Remus, I could hug you!" James crowed happily.

"Please – I'd rather you stay there," Remus said looking nauseated.

"No but honestly, that's exactly what I feel! I mean, I've got a major reputation to uphold – and I know this sounds awful, but what would people think of me if I stopped constantly dating?"

"They just might think you've become something more than an arrogant guy who uses women like tissues," Sirius said agitated and closed his curtains crisply.

Remus and James sat in awed silence for a few moments.

"What's with him?" James asked exhaling a loud breath.

"You really are impossible!" Remus said incredulously.

"What're you talking about?" James asked irked.

"You just don't get it! I mean, sure you've gotten the concept everyone loves you and you're the hottie on campus, but God, you can't see past that to see that you're completely and utterly hopeless one-hundred percent in fucking love with Lily!" Remus ended with a shout, letting all his bottled up emotions out.

James looked at him, stunned. "Remus -?"

"You know I'm right – and Sirius – well, in case you haven't noticed, is about at the end of his tether with you because of this whole Lily thing. Lily's just about the most beautiful, perfect woman for you and he knows it, I know it and everyone knows it but it's your pride that's keeping you from doing anything about it," Remus concluded, finishing his speech.

"That's not true!" James exclaimed.

"Goodnight James," Remus said with a sigh and James saw him close his curtains as well in the same manner as Sirius had.

Sighing in an anguished sort of way, he flung himself back onto the soft goose feather pillows. Maybe this relationship could work yet, and maybe it would. If all of those things Remus and Sirius weren't issues, he and Lily would already be mapping out their wedding.

Ok, maybe not a wedding, James thought quickly, catching himself.

"You know, since I can tell you're contemplating this, why don't you go and make amends with Lily? The poor girl is probably so confused by whether or not you like her, her head's spinning," Remus said.

"Remus, it's nearly eleven o'clock," James said blandly.

"Well, you could always do something unexpectedly romantic like fly your broom near her window and knock on it so she comes out," Remus suggested.

"You've been reading Arabella's romance novels, haven't you?" James asked.

Remus didn't answer with anything but the sound of him turning over. James sighed and his gaze shifted over to a spare quill he had on his nightstand. Struck with a curious inspiration, he grabbed it and scrambled out of bed to find his wand. It had been stuffed into his robes pocket and he dug it out among the notes that girls had sent him that day. He shook out his robes pocket just for good measure, the notes falling to the floor unnoticed like giant snowflakes.

"Remus, do you know any good transfiguration spells?" James asked.

"Bloody hell James, it's nearly eleven! Of course I don't know any spells; classes don't start for a couple of hours!" Came Remus' agitated reply.

"So sorry," James said acidly. He muttered a spell he hoped would work and with a faint pop a beautiful red rose took the place of his quill.

"Where're you going?" Remus called sleepily as James opened the door, pulling on a Chudley Cannons sweatshirt as he went.

"Off to make amends with dear Lily," James said cheerfully.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Lily, Sierra and Arabella were still up late that night. They were all giggling about all the boys who'd been giving Lily weird looks ever since the whole school found out about her and James. 

"I'm swearing off boys for the rest of the year; too much trouble on my behalf," Arabella said.

"Oh definitely!" Lily said with a fervent nod.

"Oh Lily, don't! You should've seen yourself this morning, running after James and whatnot," Sierra said, positively gushing.

"Ugh. I'd rather not be running after Potter," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"So we're back to last name basis?" Sierra asked skeptically.

"Back to square one," Arabella agreed wearily.

"I just don't see how so many girls can rebound after being dumped like someone like James," Sierra said puzzled, "he's the epitome of all boyfriends."

"No, that's what he wants you to think," Lily said sourly.

"Hush Lily, you had a – most enjoyable time with James over the holidays," Arabella said.

"Well I'll think better next time," Lily said with color rising in her cheeks.

"Oh crap, I hear someone coming up the stairs," Arabella said with a panicked voice. They immediately ran to their own beds and Lily flipped off the light, lying immobile in her bed.

She kept one eye open but couldn't see the dark figure creeping standing somewhat awkwardly around the room. Fear gripped her but kept her face a calm mask of coolness as it bent over her bed.

"Lily?" The figure asked. Lily had to force herself to keep her eyelids shut because she knew it was James.

He knelt down by the side of her bed, leaning his face close to hers. She could smell his minty breath and that same intoxicating cologne, smells that were so familiar to her. She felt his hands pull up her sheets, accidentally brushing them against her bared leg. Lily faked being slightly disturbed in her 'dream' by furrowing her brow and moving slightly, hoping he didn't notice the brilliant flush creeping into her cheeks.

Holy shit James, hurry up and do whatever you've got to do because I'm going to explode, Lily thought hurriedly.

Kissing her bare shoulder (she had nothing on but a simple black tank top and gray pants) he felt how warm she was. And it wasn't from the room, for the room was rather brisk. Lily's eyes slowly opened and noted his warm lips moving from her shoulder to the curve back up to her neck, all the way placing small kisses. Fire shot through her like an unbelievable heat and she was about to 'wake up' but then he placed a soft kiss on her lips and she once more remained still. She so desperately wanted to kiss him back, to pull him down by his shirt collar and kiss him until morning but let him pull away… and then he was gone.

Exhaling a loud, pent-up sigh she threw off her covers. She brought her hand up to touch her lips, and could still feel his warm caress of his lips on hers.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Waking several hours prior to breakfast, Lily slowly roused herself. She rolled over and nearly crushed the rose James had dropped hastily at her side. Feeling something prickly under the sheets, she turned back over and looked at the perfect (though the stem was slightly bent) rose.

What a gentleman, Lily thought fondly as she picked it up. She ran her finger along down the flower, accidentally pricking it on a thorn.

"OW!" She exclaimed loudly, dropping the rose. Oddly enough, James' words he'd said to her in the beginning of the year drifted back to her…

And you're a petite flower with the sharpest thorns I've ever seen…

She looked at the rose with newfound understanding: this was what James thought of her. The rose was perfect, not a flaw on it, except those sharp thorns that snagged anything in its way.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Sierra, go back to bed," Lily said climbing out of bed. She paused to look out the window and noted grudgingly that it was still snowing. Lily loved the snow but this was enough; soon it'd get up to their chests as they walked to outdoor classes, as it was difficult enough to shake out the snow of your boots as you were walking knee-deep in snow. 

"Hey snow! You guys, we should go out and have a snowball fight!" Lily said loudly to the sleeping dorm.

"Lily, it's –"

"Oh, I know it's awfully early but if we get out while it's still cold the snow will still be powdery!" Lily said perfectly chipper, trying to think of a way to avoid James for the day.

"No, we mean it's bloody Saturday, let us sleep!" Arabella said, throwing a pillow at Lily.

Lily grinned, pulling the curtains open further, letting more sunlight flood the room. There was a large, brown owl hovering near the window and Lily screamed so loud that she scared all of her roommates.

"What is it?" Sabrina muttered, annoyed at being roused out of her sleep.

Lily clutched at her chest, breathing heavily and laughing. "Its just an owl, guys." She opened the window and let the great owl in.

"He's got a letter or something," Lily said. This peaked all the girls' interests.

"See who it's to," Sierra said, getting out of bed to come look at it.

Lily untied the letter from the owl's leg. It said simply and in green letters 'Lily.'

"Ooh Lily, I'll bet it's from James!" Arabella said smiling.

Lily rolled her eyes, returning nonetheless the same giggly grin. She unrolled the parchment and turned her back to the girls, despite their protests.

Lily ~

 

   I couldn't stop thinking about you last night, Lils. I really couldn't. Sirius and Remus are mad at me because I didn't tell them beforehand about – you know. I just want you to know that I'm really sorry for whatever I've done, but please don't be mad at me. Can you just give me a chance? At least before Jonathan Quigley can get to you, because he seems to have your best interests at heart… sorry, it's my jealous emotions coming back. I'll – see you at breakfast?

James

Lily quickly folded it, and threw it under her mattress.

"What'd it say?" Arabella asked.

"Nothing," Lily said shortly, grabbing her clothes, "but I'm going to go challenge a certain bunch of boys to go play in the snow!"

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"OUCH SIRIUS! NOT IN THE FACE, NOT IN THE FACE!" Remus yelled as Sirius, who was on his team, threw a large snowball at him.

Lily laughed, chucking a snowball at Peter and missed, hitting James in the leg. James grinned and aimed one back at Lily. Shrieking, she ran behind the makeshift fort she, Arabella, Sabrina and Sierra had built.

"We're winning!" Sirius crowed, kicking around some snow.

"I don't think there's a way you can win, sorry!" Arabella yelled back and hitting Remus in the back.

"Castle surge!" Sirius yelled and all four boys ran towards them. The girls went around shrieking and laughing as they pelted them with snow. Their cheeks were red from the cold and excitement and none of them could feel their fingers, but they were having too much fun to care.

Lily collapsed on the ground; knees weak from laughter. It was the perfect day for a snowball fight: not a cloud in the sky, yet the snow seemed to be enchanted and didn't melt. There were students running all over the place, some were ice-skating, others were making snowmen. Even Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were outside.

All morning, Lily had tried to not say anything to James and it seemed evident he'd been doing the same thing. She hated it; she didn't even know why he was mad at her!

Sirius conjured up a Muggle sled and cocked his head towards the tall slope of the castle grounds. "Who's up for a little Muggle sledding?"

"Oh, God!" Lily shouted laughing.

Sirius grinned. "Lily, you're the expert here!"

"No thank you!" Lily said, grinning back at him.

Sirius shrugged and he and Sierra went up the slope, getting ready to go down. All of them gathered at the bottom to watch them. Sierra looked a bit nervous but Sirius gave them both a huge push and they sped off down the hill. They started to careen a bit to the side and were picking up speed towards the friends. Alarmed, the group scattered out but Lily's shoe was stuck in some mud made from the dirt that must have been there. James, seemingly always there when Lily was in trouble, made a dive for her as Sirius and Sierra whizzed past them. He wrapped his arms around her waist, knocking her to the ground just in the nick of time. Lily landed in the snow with a muffled 'thump' and James, tripping over his feet, landed rather hard on top of her.

"Ugh! If you want to get my attention, you don't need to practically rape me!" Lily said annoyed.

"You nearly got hit!" James hissed in defense. Lily groaned, trying to get up but James' overpowering weight kept her landed.

"The least you could do was remove your arms from around me, your knuckles are currently disabling me!" Lily said.

"Done," James said unwinding his arms.

"People are going to think we're – you know –" Lily said breaking off uncomfortably.

"And – you're bothered by that how?" James asked winking.

Lily swatted him on the shoulder, blushing like crazy. "I happen to be very bothered by that!"

"Sure you are," James said.

"I swear, James –" Lily said looking panicked, pressing her hands against his chest, "get off me before I scream."

"Ok, ok! Geez, the thanks I get for saving your life," James said defensively.

Lily brushed herself off nonchalantly. "And nearly molesting me!"

"That's ridiculous," James scoffed.

"It's true!" Lily said, "God, when you're not chasing girls you're chasing me!"

"That's because I'm in love with you!" James yelled at her. And suddenly… everything was quiet.

"You – don't love me," Lily said and to her horror, she felt tears running down her face, "you do not love me, James Potter! You're a stupid, insignificant squashed bug on my shoe that doesn't know what he prizes most in life! But I can assure, you do not love me: I'm just some trophy prize!"

James' mouth dropped open. "You are not!"

"Don't hand me it, Potter! You know it's true: the only reason you chased after me was because I didn't like you from the start!" Lily said even louder.

"God, stop saying that! I know this sounds fake, but I chased after you because you were the only person worth it!" James said.

"Liar," Lily spat and turned on her heel, ready to go back to the castle.

"No Lily, you're not going to walk away from me," James said whirling her around and kissing her fiercely. Completely taken by surprise, she tried to push him away but he held fast to her arms. This kiss was unlike any they'd ever shared: it wasn't tender, it wasn't mushy – it was all complete, raw emotion. This side was a side to James she didn't think she'd ever seen, passionate and domineering. She whimpered against his lips in a protest against what he was doing to her, resting her hands on his shoulders and trying to will herself to push him away.

Finally summoning up the willpower, she bit him hard on the lip and he cursed, pulling away.

"What the hell?" Lily asked breathing heavily. 

"Sorry – I don't know what came over me," James said slightly dizzy.

"You are the biggest jerk I have ever met! I wish you'd just fucking die!" Lily said, slapping him as hard as she could across the face.

Catcalls and hoots could be heard from students as Lily walked away, completely fuming with anger. James just stood there and tried to tell himself not to cry on the spot.

Sierra and Sirius, giggling like mad, came over from their sledding escapade and saw James' crestfallen face.

"What happened?" Sierra asked, taking a hint from James' face.

"She – she…" James said and could feel tears welling up. He sniffled loudly, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve.

"Oh, goodness," Sierra said sympathetically.

"You'd better go talk to her, Sierra," Sirius advised her. Sierra nodded, giving Sirius a quick peck on the cheek before starting off towards the castle.

"James, buddy, what happened?" Sirius asked clapping James a bit roughly on the back.

James sat down heavily in the snow. "She accused me of not loving her and she was just some prize I wanted to get."

"Isn't that what she is?" Sirius asked blatantly.

"No!" James said angrily, "She's so much more than that!"

"Christ, James, you sure have an odd way of showing it!" Sirius cried exasperatedly. "All you do is flirt with girls and pretend like Lily's no one special but she means everything to you. It doesn't make any sense!"

James sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. "It's not my fault; it's my nature. I mean, I love Lily and everything – she can't expect me to settle down with her, though! If she wants a guy who's going to be committed, she shouldn't go for me because I'm just not ready!"

"Right then. I'll go spread the word," Sirius said bitterly and walked off as well, leaving James all by himself in the snow.

How was it, that every time James thought everything was going right, it blew up in his face?

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A/N: And… that's where it ends. Not the worst cliffhanger ever but… meh. I'm working on it. I've got to move this story along, it's getting a bit tiring so I'll quickly finish up the fourth year and then it's – 5th year! HOORAH! Tootles for now, IceAmethyst.