By popular demand (and my not-so-trusty judgment) I have written a sequel to the sequel to the first chapter of this should-have-been one-shot. Are you still with me? *crowd cheers* Good. Not sure what else to say… This one, I guess, is a bit darker/deeper than the other two. *shrugs* Dunno. I wrote it while watching Rurouni Kenshin, it's not my fault!
Who was it, Blood Roses asked for chocolate next, so viola! Chocolate sweet snow. ^___^
WARNINGS: If you haven't gotten the idea that this is SHOUNEN-AI by now, I officially declare you hopeless. It was in the summary, it was in Chapter 1, it was in Chapter 2, and now it's in Chapter 3. But, just for the slower ones, I will define SHOUNEN-AI anyway. Boy/boy love. Everyone good with that? *crowd nods* Great, let's get a move on. Now, usually I would put my suckiness warning here, but I have been threatened, under penalty of death, not to do so. Although this one really is—*voice is muffled* Um, anyway, you get the idea.
DISCLAIMER: It's so…so…painful. *breaks down* I—I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters within. Shock, isn't it? -_^
Chocolate
I smiled grimly in the darkness.
We had done it. We had stolen the three most precious artifacts in all of the Spirit World. And I felt awful about it. Sighing, I sat down on the moist grass and leaned back against a tree. Hiei and I were at our usual meeting place again; we had just returned from Rekai.
The Mirror of Utter Dark was ice cold as I outlined the rim. How could something so small hold so much power? I wondered silently. My whole life now revolved around the object in my hands.
I felt crimson eyes burning into my face and I looked up, but Hiei was too swift: he had already jumped into a tree nearby.
"What are we waiting for?" I asked softly. As usual, I had things to do. Not only did I have a history project due next Wednesday, but it was already two o'clock in the morning. I was getting impatient.
"Gouki," the fire demon answered abruptly.
Of course, I thought sourly. Who else would it be? "If he's not back in—" I looked at my watch, "—five minutes, I'm leaving." Besides, I already knew what Hiei wanted to tell Gouki. We had to meet back here on Thursday.
"Hn."
There was a rustle in the forest and Gouki stomped into the clearing, carrying seven beer bottles in his right hand. My stomach churned in disgust. Did Gouki even know what beer was? "Hehe, guys," stuttered the idiot, "look what I found!" He held up a beer bottle as if it was a golden trophy.
"That's very nice, Gouki, you found something to play with," Hiei said sarcastically.
Gouki shook his head. "It's some ningen thing they drink. Good, too. Just can't remember what it's called…"
I stood up and wiped the grass off my pants. "It's called beer. And it's vulgar." I picked the mirror up off the ground. "I'm leaving now." The trees closed around me as I left Gouki and Hiei behind in the clearing.
I wasn't in the mood to get drunk.
Four minutes to three. It was a Friday night, so there was no real need for me to go to sleep, but I was tired. "Ignorance is bliss", the saying went. Sleep, I had discovered at an early age, was ignorance. I wanted desperately to sleep. But I couldn't. Something—I wasn't sure what—was making me restless.
I lay in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling blindly. The Mirror of Utter Dark was in the bottom drawer of my desk. I was tempted to pull it out and save my mother right then. Or do something else. I banished the thought as fast as it had entered my mind.
Youko had to stay under control. I couldn't let him out. I wouldn't.
Sighing, I sat up and went to my desk, pulling out the mirror from my drawer. I stared down into the crystal clear surface. It showed my reflection, just like an ordinary mirror. Green eyes, pale skin, hollow cheeks—had I been eating enough lately?—, long red hair. Hiei had said once that he liked my hair. Had actually happened, or had it simply been a dream?
Something tapped against my window. I tore my gaze away from my reflection and smiled. Who else would it be at this hour besides the little fire demon? I opened the window and Hiei clambered in.
"Would you like some sweet snow?" I asked and closed the window. Strange, it wasn't raining. What was Hiei doing here?
"Hn."
My smile widened. "Come downstairs." The half-Koorime trailed behind me down to the first floor and into the kitchen. I flicked the lights on and took a container of plain chocolate ice cream out of the refrigerator.
As usual, Hiei grabbed the ice cream from right under my nose. This time, at least, he took the spoon I offered him, as well.
"Where is Gouki?" I asked once we sat down.
The fire demon shrugged. "Probably where I left him."
"Hm…" I muttered absently.
We lapsed into friendly silence. Hiei was eating his "sweet snow", and I was simply gazing off into the dark corners of the room. I looked back at Hiei, and surprisingly, he hadn't eaten much of the ice cream. In fact, I noticed suddenly, he seems tense. I mentally shook my head. No, I must be imagining things again.
…More silence…
Something was wrong.
"Did something happen, Hiei?" I asked with concern. "Are you all right?"
The fire demon hesitated for a moment or two, and then said in an anguished voice, "Don't do it."
"Nani?" My brow furrowed in confusion. "Don't do what?"
"The mirror."
Was Hiei worried about me? It can't be! And yet… I remained silent, thinking. It wasn't the first time the thought of not using the Mirror of Utter Dark to save my mother had passed through my mind—more like the millionth. But I wouldn't succumb. "I have to," I said aloud, looking in any direction except straight at the half-Koorime.
"Weak ningen," Hiei sneered. "This body really has changed you. Emotions are a weakness. They serve simply as a crutch for those who are not strong enough to carry their own weight."
"I would save Shiori no matter what form I am in," I objected. I knew what Hiei was doing, though. He was covering up his own feelings with cold indifference and harsh words. It used to work, but I had learned to see through his disguise.
"No. Youko Kurama wouldn't."
I breathed in deeply, trying to keep my anger at bay. We had discussed the topic before, and I simply wasn't in the mood to talk about my split personality at 3:37 A.M. "I'm not just Youko Kurama though, am I?"
Hiei said nothing, but his eyes spoke for his mouth. I had never realized how much suffering and sorrow those crimson orbs held until that moment. I suddenly wanted to grab the fire demon and hold him tightly, make the pain go away. And maybe I can do that, if I don't use the mirror. Maybe, just maybe… But Hiei couldn't love. He was a youkai. He didn't know how.
"Do you really understand what happened when I came to Ningenkai?" I challenged. Without waiting for an answer, I continued. "When I entered Shiori's womb, I killed neither the unborn Suuichi Minamino, nor Youko Kurama. I merged. I'm both of them. The Suuichi Minamino that would have been, and the Youko Kurama that supposedly was hunted down and slaughtered. I—I'm someone in between. And I'll probably never fully be Youko again, even after I leave this human form. Yet I'll never truly be Suuichi Minamino, either, no matter how long I stay in this body. I have my own personality and my own self, but… I'm sure that if someone divided me in half, one side of me would be a human and the other half would be a demon. Sometimes part of me wants to do one thing, while the other part wants to do the opposite." I thought of several occasions when I had had the urge to do certain…activities that I definitely would have regretted. "And when I fight within myself, so to speak, it's up to me, the one you see now, to decide what to do; there are really three of me. In this case, with the Mirror of Utter Dark, I've made my choice. I made my choice a long time ago."
"Hn," Hiei muttered. "You can change your mind. Use the mirror for something else, Kurama. Join me and use the mirror wisely. Don't waste it on some worthless ningen. Don't—don't—don't…"
This sudden show of emotion was very uncharacteristic. The fire demon was not one who begged. I thought that maybe Hiei had had some of the beer Gouki had shown us. It was a stupid guess, and I dismissed it instantly. Of course Hiei isn't drunk, baka.
"Do you know what the price is for using the Mirror of Utter Dark?" I questioned quietly.
"Yes," he answered, equally soft. "Life."
I nodded.
"Don't do it," the fire demon repeated in a strangled voice. He was like a broken record, repeating the same line over and over and over again.
"And what do you suggest I do instead?" I lashed out, finally bursting. "Watch one of the only people I have ever cared about die?" I shook my head and kept the rest of my anger bottled up. "No, Hiei. Thank you…but no."
"You're too soft."
I smiled irnoically. "I know."
"It'll kill you. Your stupid ningen emotions will be the end of you."
Ignoring Hiei's harsh words, I lost myself in thought. "Why?" I asked eventually. "Why do you care?"
"Because things…happen…sometimes…" Hiei fidgeted uncomfortably.
"What 'things'?" My voice was unnaturally calm, but my heart-rate sped up greatly. I needed to know. Inari, I needed to know…
"Things—things I've never…thought of before." It was amazing. In an instant, Hiei had transformed from a cold-hearted fire demon into a small, confused child.
"Like what?" I knew I was being cruel, but I needed an answer, a straight answer. The deep red blush that graced his cheeks was painfully obvious.
"Things," the half-Koorime answered evasively, looking at the floor.
"What?" I asked gently. "Hiei, it will be much easier if you just tell me." I covered his clenched fist with my hand, stroking it comfortably. At least, I hoped it was comforting.
He looked down at our hands, then up at me, eyes wide with fear. The small half-Koorime resembled a caged lion: trapped, but dying to be free. He glanced back at our hands again, and once more up at me. No words escaped his lips, but his eyes said, Weak. Like you.
On impulse, I pulled the fire demon forward and embraced him tightly. He stiffened visibly, but did not pull back. I felt something touch my hair. It was as light as a feather, but it was the best feeling in the world. We were so close, so close, so close— Realization hit me like a blinding light. It didn't matter whether Hiei loved me or not. Soon I would be dead, anyway. In fact, it would be better if I stayed cold and distant. To find something and then have it taken away so soon… I wouldn't do that to Hiei. I wouldn't do that to myself.
"Don't do it," Hiei whispered into my shoulder.
I didn't answer. But neither did I pull away.
Translations
Nani: what (Japanese)
Baka: idiot (Japanese)
I told you it was stranger and deeper and more messed up. 0.o And no, this isn't the end. As long as musie here cooperates. Hehe. Does anyone get exactly what I meant about Hiei being weak at the end? Um, yeah… My perception of Kurama is whacked.
Was Hiei drunk? You decide. *winks and grins wickedly*
What else? *ponders* Um, anyone have any thoughts on any particular ice cream flavour for next chapter? Just wonderin'.
Everyone got more OOC, go figure. *mutters* I am bad. Very bad…
Thoughts? Questions? The need to do something? REVIEW!!!!!!!