*blinks* Oro? I–I have 61 reviews... O.O How...how...? THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, (AND EVEN THOSE WHO DIDN'T)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I live off feedback and I feel so special-ful now!!! YAY!!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIXTY-ONE!!!! That's amazing... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*clears throat* And the ice cream flavour with the most votes is... *drumroll* ...strawberry! So that's this chapter. Thankies so much for suggesting flavours, you people make my life so much easier. ^^

Italics at the very beginning of this chapter mean flashback.

WARNING: Please, please say you understand that this story is SHOUNEN-AI. Tell me it's true. I dun even know why I am putting this warning up any more. Oh well. This story suggests romantic potential between to male species. Dun like, dun read. Moving on... Sucky-ness. That is all I have to say. And corny-ness. That too.

DISCLAIMER: I own Yu Yu Hakusho and the characters within. Yukina finally admitted that she is in love with Karasu. Hiei decided to abandon his katana. Kuwabara married his kitten. No, okay, that's taking it too far. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Hiei and Kurama would already be a couple if I did.

Strawberry

"Kurama! Wait!"

Step.

Step.

Step.

Just keep on walking.

"You said you wouldn't do it!"

It had been a lie...

I shook my head, pushing all thoughts of a certain fire demon to the back of my mind. The Spirit Detective—what was his name? Yusuke?—was supposed to meet me outside the City Hospital momentarily. Last night, I had asked him telepathically to come. And I hoped he did, because I wanted to show him my mother. Maybe he would understand.

"What? If it isn't the hospital!" I turned my head as a boy with slicked-back ebony hair and ordinary brown eyes walked towards me, a confused expression on his face. Yusuke, I guessed.

"I've been waiting," I murmured.

Yusuke looked at me strangely. "Um, exactly what are we doing in front of the hospital?"

"You'll see." I opened the glass door to the hospital and automatically started towards Shiori's room. The Spirit Detective followed behind me, still puzzled.

"Um, Kurama…?"

"Please, call me 'Suuichi'."

"Suuichi?" Yusuke said the name awkwardly. "But I thought your name was Kurama."

"It is."

"Then why do I have to call you Suuichi?"

Ignoring Yusuke's question, I halted in front of Room 501. My mother's room. Quietly, I opened the door and hurried over to my mother's side. She blinked tiredly and murmured, "Suuichi?" He gaze slipped past me and she stared at Yusuke. "My…This is a rare treat, for you to bring a friend along." She struggled to sit up, clutching the stark white sheets.

"It's okay, Mom. Lie back down." I grabbed Shiori's hand tightly and gently pushed her back against her bed.

" 'Mom'…?" I heard Yusuke mutter in the background. He would know soon enough.

"I'm feeling pretty good today," Shiori whispered. I smiled, hoping that it might actually be true. Maybe she was feeling better. Maybe she would recover. Maybe I would be able to use the Mirror of Utter Dark for something else. Maybe everything would be all right. Her cheeks did have a bit more colour in them, I noticed.

Ironically, a few hours later I found myself on the rooftop with Yusuke by my side. Shiori was going to die, the doctor had said. If I didn't do something. And she had said she was feeling better. She had lied. Just like I had lied...

"You're gonna use the Mirror!?" Yusuke asked in amazement.

Absently, I nodded. "Yeah."

"In order to get your wish granted, I heard you gotta offer up something. Do you know what it is?"

"My life." Was that my voice? It sounded so cold, so detached… Just like I wanted it to sound. I was a robot. I didn't even think anymore. I just took the mirror out from my pocket and put it on the ground, kneeling on the ground to it. "Mirror of Utter Dark, receive the light of the moon and awaken! Display your power and reflect my desire on your surface!"

This is the only way.

The black in the mirror faded and an image began to come into view. Everything else around me was gone; there was just the mirror and me. And...Hiei? Oh, Kami! That couldn't be true. It was so...so…hopeless; I was so hopeless. Hiei. My greatest desire was Hiei. That's what the mirror showed. That's what I knew was true. And yet, I blinked and the picture of the fire demon was gone. In its place was my mother. It had just been my imagination. Hiei had just been my imagination. It had to be. I wanted to save my mother more than anything else...didn't I?

"A lifetime of happiness for this woman. Is that your desire?" the mirror asked.

"It is."

No, it' isn't...

Be quite!

"Hey, aren't you making a mistake!? Even if she is saved, if you die, it won't amount to anything!" Yusuke shouted as a black whirlwind began to form around the mirror. Didn't he understand? My wish was for the happiness of my mother. When I died, she would be happy.

Everything was so dark.

Hiei…

"This is the only way!" I told the Spirit Detective. I opened my mouth to say more, but the mirror interrupted me.

"To fulfill this wish, it means I must have your life. Are you sure this is all right?" the mirror said.

I suddenly had the urge to laugh. Of course it's not all right! How do you think it could be all right? What a bizarre question.

"If it will save her life..." I heard myself say. It was as if I had programmed myself to save my mother's life, no matter what my mind said. My voice was following it's own orders. I was torn.

And this was all happening too fast.

"Very well then, as you wish, I shall grant your desire!" the voice in the mirror declared loudly.

My...desire? Which desire? Hiei or my mother? My mother. She would be saved... Then what about Hiei? "Farewell, Mom!" I whispered. But I had wanted to say, "Hiei". Suddenly, I felt weak. As if the life was being drained out of me. Oh, wait...the life was being drained out of me. Everything turned as dark as a moonless sky.

My vision came back. Yusuke was reaching forward towards the mirror. What are you doing? Had I said that aloud...?

"Hey, Mirror, I'm giving you my life! By doing this, you don't have to take his entire life to grant his wish, right!?" Yusuke was obviously one of the most foolish people I had ever met.

"What are you thinking!?" I shouted above the roar of the mirror. This is wrong. All wrong.

"The sight of a mother's crying face after losing her son—it's unbearable! There is nothing more discomforting!" He spoke as if he had experienced the pain first-hand. As if he knew...

But nobody knew. Nobody could know...

Was it just my imagination again, or was Hiei nearby?

She was going to recover. She was going to recover. And I was alive. I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Nothing—nothing was going to make me move from my seat. I was going to stay by Shiori's side all night, all day, to make sure she recovered properly.

But it wasn't just that. I felt worse, much worse. Saving my human mother hadn't been my so-called "greatest desire". It made me feel guilty, to know that I cared about a fire demon I had met five months ago more than I cared about the woman who had raised me for fifteen years.

I remembered what I had said to Hiei the last time he had come to my house. That there were really three Kuramas. I felt that that was true now more than ever. The Suuichi in me had wanted to save my mother, the youko in me had craved Hiei, and me, the mixture of them both— There, that was what troubled me the most. I didn't know who I wanted more: Hiei or Shiori. I should care about Shiori's health more, I knew. That was the "correct" answer. But I didn't know if it was the true one. I just...didn't know.

That made me feel helpless. I had no control over the situation. The answer lurked somewhere deep inside me, but I wouldn't pull it out of hiding. I couldn't. I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid of the truth.

Damn it! Why did this have to be so complicated? I had thought it would be easy. Join Hiei, steal the Mirror of Utter Dark, save my mother, and die. What had I done wrong? But I already knew the answer. I had fallen in love.

"Suuichi-kun?" A nurse came up behind me, holding a pint of ice cream in her hands. "Would you like it?" she offered, referring the ice cream.

"Hai, arigato," I replied and took the ice cream. The nurse smiled at me and left the room quietly. I stared down at the cup in my hands. Hiei liked ice cream. But he called it "sweet snow", which I thought sounded better. Although I would probably never see Hiei again. And even if I did—

"Excuse me, may I help you?" I heard a nurse say in the hallway.

"Where's Kurama?" I sat bold upright. That was Hiei's voice. What was he doing here?

"K—Kurama? I'm sorry, but there is no one named Kurama here," the nurse explained.

"Suuichi. Minamino." The bitterness in his voice was obvious. Did he hate my human name—or did he hate me?

"Oh, why didn't you say so? Follow me." Footsteps came closer and closer. I tightened my grip on the ice cream, my knuckles turning white. I stared ahead at the opposite wall with unseeing eyes.

"Suuichi-kun? A friend of yours came to visit." The door closed behind the nurse as she left.

"Hiei?" I shifted my gaze to the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at the fire demon. To know exactly what his eyes said¼

"Hn."

I smiled. He didn't seem more upset than usual. Just the same, ordinary Hiei, standing my by side. I looked up, but his hair shadowed his crimson eyes. "Want some?" I offered the ice cream to the youkai. "It's strawberry flavoured."

Hiei took the ice cream container from me and tasted it gingerly. "It tastes disgusting." He let the ice cream drop to the floor. "Just like you."

"...What?" I blinked in confusion.

The fire demon looked up, his eyes large and sparkling. My breath caught in my throat. They were beautiful, shining brightly¼but overflowing with hate. For me. I expected a rush of pain, yet I didn't feel anything. Hiei...he hated me. Shouldn't I feel...something? So where was the hurt? Where were the tears?

"You're disgusting, Kurama. You promised—you said you wouldn't do it. But you did, anyway. You lied to me."

Numb. I was completely dazed. What was Hiei saying? "I never promised anything, Hiei. You knew I had to use the Mirror to save my mother. I told you. Why...?"

The half-Koorime looked away angrily. "You could have…done something. You didn't have to use the Mirror. What's the life of a worthless ningen to you?"

"I've told you already, Hiei, I owe her! I owe her more now than ever."

The ice cream was melting...

"You could have stopped me. Why—why did you have to make it hurt?"

So I had caused Hiei pain. Damn it. Why hadn't I died? Why did Yusuke have to act so...noble? Why couldn't he just have let me end my life?

"Kurama, answer me!" the fire demon growled loudly.

I hadn't realized I had hurt him, too. I had been so selfish, only worrying about my pain and myself. But what about Hiei? I had hurt him, too. More than I knew, apparently. Yes, I could have stopped him. He had opened up to me, and I had made him suffer. I should have stopped him. I should have told him it was useless—to love me. If I had been thinking, I would have shattered all his hopes. It would have been better for him, for the both of us.

I remembered the night we had stolen the artifacts. I had hugged Hiei, and when he had begged me not to use the mirror, I hadn't discouraged him. I hadn't encouraged him, either, but I had made no move to pull away. I had made so many mistakes, what there any way to fix them?

No.

"Hiei, I'm sorry. I should have done something—" I looked helplessly at the fire demon.

"Apologizes don't mean a thing, Kurama. They are just weak excuses."

I sighed. "When you use the Mirror of Utter Dark, it reflects your greatest desire. When I first looked at the mirror, it wasn't my mother that I saw. It was you." I reached forward to touch the fire demon's cheek, but he pulled back, a look of terror on his face.

"You're too late, Kurama. You didn't do anything to stop the pain, so I did." All because of me...I didn't deserve to live.

Hiei left through the window in a flash. I felt that he was gone. Forever.

Then there was the pain, tearing at my heart. And the tears, pouring down my face. I heard my mother stir and the tears came faster, because I knew that my tears were not for my mother, but for a lost youkai.

And the ice cream was melting.

Translations

Hai: yes (Japanese)

Arigato: thank you (Japanese)

Okay, not fluffy, just...depressing. Bad. Ya know, the usual junk. Anyway, it's poll time again! Yay! Violettegal345 suggested that I make this fic last until the end of the Dark Tournament. I'd be glad to do so, but I'm really into audience opinions. So... REVIEW away!

Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really can't say how extremely happy and amazed I am, but really... I'm starting to sound repetitive and lame now, so...yeah. *goes off to have random thoughts*