Title: Do It!
Author: ZenosParadox
Category: Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: R, Tu, implied S. Two conversations about Hoshi that could mean...?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
DO IT!
"Do you really think I should? Do it, I mean?"
"Does a polecat stink? Never mind, I'll answer that. Of course!"
"It just wouldn't work last time we were together. She felt embarrassed; I felt embarrassed. What if that's all she remembers, too?"
"Look, you've been working on the problem to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"True, but perhaps I overdid it a bit. Oh, she's going to hate it!"
"No, the change should be a good one."
"But what if she doesn't like it?"
"I think you're worrying too much. Just bite the bullet and do it!"
"I know. Why don't you do it?"
"You're talking crazy! That would be too weird. Of course you need to be the one to give it to her!"
"What if she really likes it but is disappointed with me?"
"For Pete's sake, would you just quit fretting like an old hen?"
"I think I should go work in the armory."
"Why? You won't find her in the armory and you shouldn't go off hiding either."
"Weapons I can handle. They're safe, they're familiar--they're not unsettling. Yes, I think I should go to the armory."
"For crying out loud! You've been working on this for a week just to make sure everything will work this time and now you're trying to find all kinds of excuses to avoid her!"
"You really think she'd enjoy it? Even coming from me?"
"No. I think she's just gonna laugh in your face--for pity's sake, don't turn so pale! I was just being sarcastic. Geez!"
"That IS what she'll do, isn't it?"
"No, No, NO! She's an angel; she'd never hurt anyone's feelings like that. She's the type who'd let ya down real gentle like."
"So, even if she smiles and says it's alright, I won't really know if she's sincere of just trying to be nice."
"Man! And here I thought you were just paranoid about aliens. You've got the most convoluted way of thinking, let me tell you."
"I am not being paranoid; I'm just being realistic."
"Just get some gumption and do it, will ya? I mean, what if she really hates it but likes the fact that you're the one who gave it to her? Have you thought about that?"
"Yes, that is possible, I suppose. But what if--"
"Oh, for the love of Porthos and cheddar cheese, would ya just go! And don't come back until you've done it!"
------
"So, did she like it?"
"She seemed very pleased."
"And...?"
"And, well, it got hot--very fast."
"From your smile I can see that she liked that a lot."
"Yes. Then she did this thing with some oil."
"Go on."
"I've never had anything like it. It was a unique experience."
"Was it good?"
"Good! We were both moaning with pleasure. And she was so sweet. Didn't even get mad when I dipped a finger in beforehand. But I just couldn't help myself."
"So, was there anything else?"
"Well, she wanted to do a lot more and was even getting out the whipped cream--"
"That sounds promising."
"But she had run out of it, so we had to settle for something else. It was quite sticky."
"Thing's got messy, huh?"
"Well, at one point it was hard for her to swallow."
"Did you do anything to help her? You didn't just let her choke on it, did you?"
"I wound up giving her a sharp thrust from behind and that seemed to do the trick."
"Well, sorry to hear she was choking on the dessert. I'm glad Hoshi liked having her hotplate repaired. I don't know why you were fretting so much about giving it back to her earlier."
"Yes, all in all things turned out rather well."
"I noticed you weren't in your quarters 'til late last night. I'd been looking for you to see how things went. Did anything happen after dinner?"
"Trip! Please. You know a gentleman never tells!"
*****
Author Notes:
Just wondered if I could do something based on dialogue alone. An early story and self-described groaner, but if it got a smile out of you...
Written April?, 2002 and posted at LD.
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for reading.
Author: ZenosParadox
Category: Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: R, Tu, implied S. Two conversations about Hoshi that could mean...?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
DO IT!
"Do you really think I should? Do it, I mean?"
"Does a polecat stink? Never mind, I'll answer that. Of course!"
"It just wouldn't work last time we were together. She felt embarrassed; I felt embarrassed. What if that's all she remembers, too?"
"Look, you've been working on the problem to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"True, but perhaps I overdid it a bit. Oh, she's going to hate it!"
"No, the change should be a good one."
"But what if she doesn't like it?"
"I think you're worrying too much. Just bite the bullet and do it!"
"I know. Why don't you do it?"
"You're talking crazy! That would be too weird. Of course you need to be the one to give it to her!"
"What if she really likes it but is disappointed with me?"
"For Pete's sake, would you just quit fretting like an old hen?"
"I think I should go work in the armory."
"Why? You won't find her in the armory and you shouldn't go off hiding either."
"Weapons I can handle. They're safe, they're familiar--they're not unsettling. Yes, I think I should go to the armory."
"For crying out loud! You've been working on this for a week just to make sure everything will work this time and now you're trying to find all kinds of excuses to avoid her!"
"You really think she'd enjoy it? Even coming from me?"
"No. I think she's just gonna laugh in your face--for pity's sake, don't turn so pale! I was just being sarcastic. Geez!"
"That IS what she'll do, isn't it?"
"No, No, NO! She's an angel; she'd never hurt anyone's feelings like that. She's the type who'd let ya down real gentle like."
"So, even if she smiles and says it's alright, I won't really know if she's sincere of just trying to be nice."
"Man! And here I thought you were just paranoid about aliens. You've got the most convoluted way of thinking, let me tell you."
"I am not being paranoid; I'm just being realistic."
"Just get some gumption and do it, will ya? I mean, what if she really hates it but likes the fact that you're the one who gave it to her? Have you thought about that?"
"Yes, that is possible, I suppose. But what if--"
"Oh, for the love of Porthos and cheddar cheese, would ya just go! And don't come back until you've done it!"
------
"So, did she like it?"
"She seemed very pleased."
"And...?"
"And, well, it got hot--very fast."
"From your smile I can see that she liked that a lot."
"Yes. Then she did this thing with some oil."
"Go on."
"I've never had anything like it. It was a unique experience."
"Was it good?"
"Good! We were both moaning with pleasure. And she was so sweet. Didn't even get mad when I dipped a finger in beforehand. But I just couldn't help myself."
"So, was there anything else?"
"Well, she wanted to do a lot more and was even getting out the whipped cream--"
"That sounds promising."
"But she had run out of it, so we had to settle for something else. It was quite sticky."
"Thing's got messy, huh?"
"Well, at one point it was hard for her to swallow."
"Did you do anything to help her? You didn't just let her choke on it, did you?"
"I wound up giving her a sharp thrust from behind and that seemed to do the trick."
"Well, sorry to hear she was choking on the dessert. I'm glad Hoshi liked having her hotplate repaired. I don't know why you were fretting so much about giving it back to her earlier."
"Yes, all in all things turned out rather well."
"I noticed you weren't in your quarters 'til late last night. I'd been looking for you to see how things went. Did anything happen after dinner?"
"Trip! Please. You know a gentleman never tells!"
*****
Author Notes:
Just wondered if I could do something based on dialogue alone. An early story and self-described groaner, but if it got a smile out of you...
Written April?, 2002 and posted at LD.
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for reading.