The next two days brought them nearer to Rivendell. Shagrat did not use any road, and Frodo could not exactly tell where they were. At the moment they were wandering through a region with many caves. Trolls had dwelled here in the past. But now the caves looked silent and deserted. No matter how badly Frodo wished that Elves would eventually cross their path, he also worried more and more about what would happen to Shagrat, if such a meeting came to pass. He could have torn out his hair. He had been down-hearted all day long because he was not making any progress with Shagrat. At least they had been getting along with each other pretty well, never mind the Uruk's usual polite statements. In the meantime Frodo had learned how to parry these by imitating the Uruk's rude tone, although he did not like this method. It was not part of Hobbit culture. But he had noticed it was a good way to keep the peace, better in any case than being excruciated by bruises and contusions.
This time they made their way by daylight. Despite his low spirits Frodo enjoyed walking on his own feet again, since his wounds were healing very well. One reason for this was the burning ointment the Uruk had applied to the aching spots again. Only the smell of the black fluid put Frodo's nose to the test, and he did rather not inquire about what this stuff was made of. Since the Uruk-hai's single purpose was that of fighting and warfare, they almost always moved in an enduring, fast trot, so very soon Shagrat had enough of walking beside the much slower hobbit. Without a warning he suddenly lifted him to place him on his shoulders. First Frodo found it a pretty useful solution to return to his friends even faster, but when the Uruk started to move, Frodo clung to his neck in panic and desperately fought to keep his stomach under control. Suddenly he had the unerring impression of his face turning greenish. Pull yourself together, Frodo Baggins, he scolded himself, you have just already gone through worse.
Finally Frodo managed to ignore the shaking and rocking, and he gave in to brooding once more. Although he found it hard to accept, he had to admit that Shagrat would simply not be able to imagine a future. Fighting orcs did not have any dreams, plans or wishes. They only knew orders. Maybe I just should command him to imagine a future, Frodo thought bitterly. But the Uruk would only face whatever should come to pass... and he would probably get killed as a result. Cursed Sauron! Frodo felt more helpless than ever when suddenly something caught his attention. Excitedly, he tapped on the Uruk's shoulder, which the giant answered with a growl. "There is a lake nearby. Would you mind stopping there?" "What's up? Tired again, tiny thing?" "No, you big clumsy fool, it's just that I urgently wish to wash myself properly." "What a strange idea is this now?" Enervated, Frodo gave a loud groan: "Just do what I ask of you, alright?" The Uruk muttered: "Well, if it makes you happy..." In any case Frodo could not help being surprised that Shagrat knew the term 'happy' anyway.
The giant put him down more
carefully than Frodo had expected. The hobbit thanked him and immediately began
to undress. But suddenly he hesitated because Shagrat did not move and seemed
to look at him thoughtfully. "What's up?" Frodo asked, somewhat
unpleasantly touched. The Uruk puffed: "It's you who should tell me,
half-pint! Not that I'm interested, but somehow I've noticed you're not so well
at all today, for you've been talking less than usual..." Frodo was
baffled. Shagrat had shown a feeling, and he was even right! Frodo's melancholy
had not remained hidden from him. Should he finally be able to..., no, not now,
the hobbit decided, for he wanted to get into the water and nothing else for
the time being. "It's alright, Shagrat, but thanks for asking." The
Uruk shrugged and said: "I needn't watch you doing this nonsense, must I?
I'll go and see if I can find something to eat. Look, there's is a cave over
there where you might wait for me." With that he left, and Frodo admitted
to himself that it was more than pleasant for him that Shagrat had not
preferred to watch him…
The hobbit found the cave surprisingly comfortable, because it was dry and
sheltered from the wind. Frodo looked for some firewood and then tried to get
some sleep until Shagrat would return. But the gloomy mood returned. Only the
wonderfully warm and clear water of the lake had protected him from his
melancholy for a while. Once more Frodo thought of Sam and desperately longed
for Galadriel's mirror. Then he remembered that the messages brought by this
magical instrument could be rather deceptive. Not exactly a useful memory to
ease his heart right now. He almost missed Shagrat's return, for he was too
deep in thought. The Uruk did not disturb him for the time being and took care
of a meal instead.
"What is it, you bad-tempered worm? Not hungry?" "Not that much, but thank you," Frodo murmured and absent-mindedly reached for a piece of meat. Shagrat grunted: "Come on now, tiny thing, don't you wanna grow a little more?" Actually Frodo was not in the mood to start such an orc-funny talk right now. However, out of politeness he decided to join Shagrat at least during the meal. But when he turned to the giant, his guts cramped painfully, even before he really understood what he saw in front of him. The Uruk stopped chewing, watching the hobbit, who, paralyzed by horror, dropped the meat, rose slowly and backed away to the wall - his face as white as a sheet. Shagrat frowned. "What's wrong with you? Are you sick again?" Frodo did not answer and started to tremble and retch uncontrollably instead. He offered a pitiful sight, trying not to lose his foothold by groping for the cave wall and fixing his wild gaze onto something lying on the ground beside the Uruk. It was unmistakable: badly torn clothes, not belonging to anyone of them. Confused, Shagrat followed Frodo's gaze, but then he casually raised his hand to a soothing gesture: "Oh, this is what you mean... just don't be frightened, little worm, for it was no halfling - just some blockheaded dwarf..."
With a moan Frodo collapsed, digging his fingers into the stony ground, believing he would never ever stop to vomit. Impenetrable blackness blurred his view, and his entire body was shaken convulsively. As if through a dense mist, he heard the Uruk's voice complain: "What is it now? The meat ain't even raw, so what's the matter? If you don't want to eat it, just tell me! Damn, no-one can understand you at all…" He was stopped at this point, for Frodo had jumped to his feet with a scream and suddenly attacked the completely perplexed giant in mad fury. His fists were beating Shagrat with hitherto unknown wrath, though this was utterly useless, and his shrieking voice almost cracked: "What kind of a mad monster are you!? What a cruel and miserable creature! How could you do this? Why, just why..." His words turned into loud sobs, and weakened he sank to the ground, right before the Uruk's feet. The furious outburst ebbed away abruptly, and Frodo was shaken by crying fits instead, which made his whole body tremble.
Only at this moment Shagrat dared to move again, for he had been much too surprised to react to this utterly unexpected attack. He looked at the helplessly squirming creature before his feet and bared his teeth with a growl. A deep rumble came out of his throat when he knelt down to seize the now only softly whimpering hobbit. Frodo barely defended himself when Shagrat pulled him close.
The Uruk growled again, but this time it did not sound perilous, but rather irresolute. He seemed to ponder whether he had just broken this delicate being without even touching it. Then he carefully tried to get Frodo on his feet again, finally succeeding in spite of his awkwardness. He preferred not to let go of him, for the small figure was trembling so heavily that it was about to break down again the next moment.
Continuously, tears ran down Frodo's cheeks. The Uruk helplessly touched the weeping hobbit's face, as if trying to find out the purpose of this strange fluid. Frodo let it happen defencelessly. Shagrat still held him tight, and Frodo weakly let his head sink onto the shoulder of the giant kneeling in front of him. The Uruk did not know what to do in his helplessness. So he awkwardly tried to shake the hobbit out of his daze. "No, Shagrat, leave me..." Frodo begged, barely audible. With a soft snarl, Shagrat lifted the defenceless hobbit to get him to a corner of the cave, leaning him against the wall.
Never before the giant's voice had sounded that concerned and remorseful. "What's wrong with you, little worm? I don't understand you..." Frodo tiredly looked into the Uruk's questioning eyes. "I know," he whispered with a choking voice. Shagrat frowned. "Then just explain it to me..." But Frodo only shook his head, infinitely sad. He simply had no strength left, and he did not want to explain anything else to this hideous monster anymore. It seemed so useless to him. Though he felt that something had changed during the horrible moments of his breakdown. The giant seemed to ponder, grumbling restlessly. After a while he carefully started anew: "Are you friend to the dwarfs?" Frodo did not reply, but slowly nodded. Then he covered his face with his hands, sobbing again, remembering what was lying there next to the fire. He became aware of not being able to blame the Uruk for it at all. This pitiable creature had done nothing but answered the call of his own nature. How should he have known better, for he was just a hopelessly ill and mentally mutilated creature, brought to life by unscrupulous dark powers for only one purpose: to hunt and to kill everyone who dared to oppose his kind.
The hobbit's dark thoughts were interrupted when the remorseful voice of the Uruk reached him again. "I'm sorry, little Frodo, for I didn't want to make you so sad." Frodo looked up in disbelief, trying to read the giant's face. But Shagrat was sitting before him, his head lowered, distracted like a caught child waiting for punishment. The hobbit was painfully touched by this pitiful sight, and he gently put his little hand on the Uruk's big paw. "You're not to blame, Shagrat", he said softly. The Uruk breathed hard in embarrassment and then frowned. "So... no dwarfs anymore... and no halflings either...," he muttered, uncertainly looking at Frodo. "But what about Elves?" Frodo desperately sighed: "Shagrat, nothing that wears any clothes! Please, promise it to me!" he pleaded. The Uruk seriously nodded. "I promise..." But the hobbit was not sure at all whether Shagrat would realize the meaning of this word. He turned his face to the fire, wearily blinking a tear away. "Could you take this away to bury it? Please, I can not bear this sight any longer." Without protest, the giant rose to fulfil Frodo's request.
Utterly exhausted with the enormous emotional shock, Frodo soon fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. Hours later he awoke, noticing the giant sitting next to him, watching him attentively. Shagrat awkwardly held out his paw to him, offering some mushrooms. Only to think of eating, made Frodo feel sick again. Carefully the Uruk took the hobbit's hand to give him the mushrooms. "You just have to eat something, for you must not get ill again." Frodo forced a smile, taking note of Shagrat's awkward efforts to cheer him up again. He could not help but look at him almost lovingly, for the Uruk was so kindly concerned about him. Something had happened the night before, though Frodo could not quite put his finger on it. It had not been the first time Shagrat had seen him that shattered. Attentively watched by the Uruk, Frodo tried one of the mushrooms with a sigh, hoping not to become sick again. The giant looked pleased when he saw Frodo bravely swallow. "Well, everything will be alright again," he stated. "When you've finished your meal, we may go on... if you want."
Frodo hurried to nod, for he wished to leave this awful cave as soon as possible. Shagrat noticed that the hobbit was still weak and shaky. "I will carry you on my shoulders again," he resolutely proclaimed. In panic, Frodo wondered whether his tortured stomach would stand this procedure. As if guessing his thoughts, the Uruk grumbled in a calming tone: "I will take care not to shake you that much, for I don't want you to get sick again." Frodo looked up at him and could not help smiling weakly. He was oddly touched by Shagrat's clumsiness. Yet Frodo did not find the courage in himself to trust this peace at all, since he was aware of Shagrat still being a dangerous and unpredictable creature.
When Frodo was left to his own thoughts once more, sitting on Shagrat's shoulders, he could not help being astonished that the Uruk finally had arrived at his own right conclusions. He also suddenly remembered that on this occasion Shagrat had called him Frodo for the first time, and he allowed his wounded soul to be comforted by the balm of this memory. Oh, Shagrat, he sadly mused, if only I could do something for you! But he still did not know what this might be. Hope was slowly fading, for they were definitely getting closer to Rivendell. He would not be able to protect the Uruk from his doom any longer...
***********
They did not meet anyone during the next day either. Somehow it was a relief to Frodo, since he felt panic slowly seize him. What if they would finally reach the realm of the Elves? Certainly these would discern them at first anyway, for they were most skilful in hiding from the eyes of strangers. The hobbit was sad though not to see the tiniest trace of his friends. Anyway, he did not know any of the paths Shagrat had chosen. He could only estimate the right direction by checking the position of the sun. Shagrat was trotting beside the hobbit, after Frodo had resolutely proclaimed that he would like to walk on his own today. First the Uruk had grumpily growled about this idea, but Frodo had insisted on having his way. The hobbit admitted to himself that he was slowing down their travelling pace on purpose. If only he could get this stupid monster to think more clearly...
Shagrat, for his part, was a little confused because of the hobbit's slow pace, for an Uruk was only used to promptly start moving to fulfil his next assigned evil mission. He coarsely grabbed the hobbit's arm to drag him into the right direction at each new crossing. Each time Frodo started in pain. Obviously the giant has forgotten that I'm just a little worm, Frodo thought, clenching his teeth. When he looked up, he noticed that Shagrat seemed to be deep in thought indeed.
Again the path branched off, and this time the Uruk pushed him so hard to the right that Frodo fell down, bruising his knee. "That will do, rude fellow!" he furiously exclaimed. Shagrat blinked in confusion. "Are you angry at me again, little worm?" Frodo moaned: "Not really! It's just - you must be more careful not to hurt me!" The Uruk gave him a blank look. "Shagrat, just remember I'm a halfling! You simply hurt me, for I'm not so sturdy as you are." Suddenly the Uruk got this oddly remorseful expression again, which was just not like him at all. Frodo probably had distressed him and now could not help smiling cheerfully: "Don't worry, just be a little more careful," he patiently explained. "Sometimes you simply forget what your strength is able to do." The Uruk growled in protest: "You're enormously mistaken, for I know exactly what I can do with my strength! That is: I could crush you to death with only one foot or strangle you easily with one hand. Would you like me to show you?" Suddenly Frodo had a thick lump in his throat, but started at hearing Shagrat burst out into roaring laughter. "Did the joke work? I've properly scared you, haven't I?" Frodo just pulled a face about this kind of humor. That's just great, he thought, orcish jokes... just wait until we get married some day! He decided that gallows humor fit this situation best.
***********
Later, when they were sitting by the fire and eating, the Uruk was strangely withdrawn again. Frodo did not really dare to address him. Any peaceful moment still seemed treacherous to him. Suddenly Shagrat looked at him, and Frodo noticed his tired expression in astonishment. "Is something wrong with you?" he carefully asked. Shagrat snarled, but this time it sounded oddly crestfallen. "Once you asked me why I have saved you from Shelob..." Frodo held his breath. Uncertainly, the Uruk continued: "I don't know how to say it, but I think you have done something with me." He interrupted himself, brooding. "Sometimes there was a strange feeling... I just don't know what it was." Shagrat sighed resignedly. But this moment was much too precious to Frodo to simply waste it. "Please, go on," he urgently whispered, "for you can tell me everything - no matter what." The Uruk thoughtfully gazed at him. "You're just doing it again, but lately it has not been as bad as before." Frodo frowned. He had no idea what the Uruk was talking about, though he nodded to encourage him. "What exactly do you mean?" Shagrat grunted. "This is the problem: I don't have the words to explain it to you. I have pondered it all day long... but maybe it's not that important." He shook his head and fell silent.
Frodo audibly exhaled and then slowly rose to sit down closer to the Uruk. "Shagrat, your feelings are important, and I'd really like to get to know more about them. Just use the words you know, and maybe I can help you then." Indeed, Frodo found that the Uruk had learned many new words recently, and that his tone was not that rude anymore either. Please, Shagrat, don't let me down now, he silently begged. The giant unintelligibly grumbled, and Frodo felt pity arise. This conversation had to be difficult and complicated for him. How should he ever have learned how to express himself, just shouting only orders and insults before? So the hobbit waited with endless patience.
Shagrat spoke haltingly, looking at him: "A while ago you furiously shouted at me, telling me you were feeling pain. Then I remembered that sometimes I had shouted in fury as well. Do you think that I was feeling any pain then, too?" Frodo blinked in confusion. "I don't know exactly, Shagrat. Did you feel something different than before?" The Uruk mused: "Well, yes, and in the beginning it was so terrible that I just wanted to roar and even tear you apart to devour you - just to make it stop, you know?" Frodo remembered with a shudder, but then understandingly nodded and carefully asked: "So why didn't you?" Shagrat shrugged. "I don't know, little worm. Maybe it's a kind of wizardry working in me, if you know what I mean..." The words were dripping into Frodo's memories, just like a touch of soothing balm. If you know what I mean... How often had Sam used these words, not being sure whether Frodo would really understand what he was clumsily trying to say. Frodo silently smiled, for suddenly he clearly felt that Sam was still alive. Please, let it be true...
He led his thoughts back to Shagrat who evidently did not know how to go on. "I am surely no wizard. You must have felt something else. Just think a little!" The Uruk took a strained breath. "That's it, for sometimes there is another strange feeling, right at the same spot. However, this one does not make me roar. When this feeling is there, I'm not angry at all, but rather want to bring you some food or carry you on my shoulders... I don't know how to tell..." Frodo hardly dared to breathe. "Shagrat, just what spot do you mean? Where do you feel that pain exactly?" The giant awkwardly pointed at his broad chest, uncertainly grunting: "Right here. But this must sound pretty weird to you, doesn't it?"
Embarrassed, Shagrat lowered his head, not noticing that suddenly tears were welling up in Frodo's eyes. But the hobbit quickly wiped them off, for he did not want to confuse the Uruk now. Shagrat would surely think he was sad again. So he bravely fought to regain his composure before replying: "That's your heart, Shagrat, and it's talking to you. It might never have done this before, so you did not know these feelings."
Shagrat uncomprehendingly looked up, making Frodo try another way: "I know this is not easy to understand for you, but..." - he feverishly fished for words - "in case you get this other strange feeling, it's really good and right, and you should listen to it. This feeling should be like an order to do what comes to your mind right at that moment." Frodo desperately hoped that his words would at least make any approximate sense to the Uruk. Shagrat brooded for a moment and then nodded: "I will try to recall this. But what about this other strange feeling, making me furious? Do you also know what this means?"
The hobbit thought hard. "I think you've felt this pain because... because perhaps you hadn't been created like this to feel your heart, so when it started nevertheless to make itself felt, it must have been like a disease, torturing and hurting you. Well, this could be the solution. You said it has not been that bad anymore recently. Possibly the disease is slowly healing, don't you think so?"
The Uruk was uneasily shifting, evidently anxious to follow Frodo's implementations. "But why did it make itself felt, though the Uruk-hai were not made to feel it?" Frodo sighed: "Shagrat, I can truly not explain this, for there are many things I don't know myself." The giant looked up in surprise. "But you are so wise, little Frodo." The hobbit smilingly shook his head. "Thank you, clumsy giant, but there are secrets that no-one of us will ever learn. Some things we simply have to accept. It's only important that you're well now after going through all this. Do you feel better now?" Shagrat was brooding again and then sadly grumbled: "I don't know, little worm, for I haven't felt anything before." His voice trailed off, and Frodo quickly blinked a pitiful tear away. "It's alright, Shagrat, I think you're better now. You are not enraged that often anymore", he said firmly. "If you say so, it should be right, wise little worm," the Uruk replied with a confirming nod. Frodo couldn't help smiling again. "Is there anything else you want to know, Shagrat? You can ask me everything, in case you don't know what do to. I'd really like to help you."
Once more the Uruk thoughtfully sighed, becoming silent for a while. Finally he seriously looked into the hobbit's eyes. "Are you my friend, Frodo?" Frodo's shoulders became cramped. He bit his lip, taking a deep breath. He had not expected such a question at all. Suddenly he did not manage to think clearly any more, feeling utterly helpless. Forced by the Uruk's distracted growl, he slowly raised his head. He sadly gazed at Shagrat, begging for understanding. "I don't know," he said quietly, his voice toneless. The eyes of the giant abruptly darkened, and he rose with a rumble. "Please, Shagrat..." Frodo quickly tried to calm him down, but the Uruk hissed at him so sharply that Frodo fell silent, observing him in alarm instead. Shagrat roared furiously. Then he grabbed his sword to pound on a trunk with it. Frodo broke out in a sweat. He slowly rose to jump aside if necessary - just in case the Uruk's rage was focussed on him now. But Shagrat did not even look at him. He vanished into the dark of the forest instead, simply leaving the hobbit behind. Frodo cowered to the ground again and exhaustedly closed his eyes for a moment. He had just unmistakably hurt Shagrat.
Suddenly the hobbit felt very lonesome and lost, sitting alone on the edge of the wide clearing. Gloomy memories began to torture him anew, their evil shadows threatening to overwhelm him. Once more hissing and shrieking voices were attacking him. He desperately pressed his hands to his ears, trying to escape them. But the voices were in his head, and he could not banish them. "Leave me alone!" he wildly screamed, jumping to his feet, harassed. The voices subsided, and Frodo leaned against a tree, heavily panting. When his heart finally beat calmly again, he sank back into the dewy grass.
Oh, Gandalf, what am I supposed to do? Frodo badly longed for his beloved mentor and friend whose wisely spoken words had gently led him on the right way so often. I'm just not strong enough for this task, he thought tiredly. Why has it to be me again? What do you want from me? Has the One Ring not been enough yet, he bitterly mused. But self-pity would lead him nowhere.
Distractedly, he remembered Gollum: his hard and vain struggle with this miserable creature, which had abused his trust in the end, treacherously leaving him and Sam to a dreadful doom. The horrible memory made him shiver. Shagrat would betray him as well. The Uruk surely was not less distorted by Mordor's black powers as Gollum had been. He just had demonstrated his uncontrolled rage anew. Again and again Frodo's hope for a better standing with the Uruk had been wasted. He would still remain an unpredictably wild and dangerous creature. Only one thing did not conform: Gollum had craftily delivered him to Shelob, but Shagrat had protected him from her sting and had even got wounded in doing so. Besides, recently the Uruk had honestly tried to understand Frodo's patient explanations.
Though, what did an Uruk know of friendship anyway? What kind of a simple concept of it could this monster have after all? But the hobbit scolded himself a fool. It was just not fair to think so. How should Shagrat have known any better? How could he ever have learned before? Frodo sadly shook his head, sighing. Was there nothing else left than carrying the burden again? But he had known the answer for a long time.
He realized he was walking on very thin ice, which would either carry him or break under him. If he really wanted to help Shagrat, he would have to find the courage to cross the ice, reaching out his hand to the Uruk. Besides he became aware of something else: if he offered his friendship to Shagrat, he would have to let him go to find his own way, wherever this would lead him. The Uruk would follow his destiny, and Frodo would not allow himself to resist its call.
In any case he would not urge Shagrat to join him on his way to Rivendell any longer. When he listened to himself, Frodo had honestly to admit that he did not trust such an option anymore. Wishful thinking had just made him overshoot the mark. Rivendell simply was not a place that could be home to such a creature, but the hobbit had not the faintest idea where Shagrat belonged anyway. He would be absolutely homeless now - a renegade among his own people: a leftover from the turmoil of former ages, still roaming Middle-earth and hated by everyone.
His thoughts far from a solution, Frodo fell into a restless sleep.
***********
A growl beside him made him start. "Want to miss the whole day, little toad, don't you?" Indeed, the hobbit had exhaustedly been sleeping till afternoon. Squinting, Frodo sat up, quickly trying to assess the Uruk's mood. Everything seemed normal, for Shagrat had brought mushrooms and berries with him, which touched Frodo somewhat every time it occurred. Evidently this was Shagrat's way to apologize for his rude behaviour. The giant had sat down next to him, attentively making sure that Frodo finished his meal. Sometimes he really reminds me of Sam, just at this moment, the hobbit thought smilingly.
After a while Shagrat seriously and determinedly looked into his eyes: "I have considered something, little worm. We will probably go separate ways soon." Frodo swallowed, painfully moved by the idea of separation, although he knew it was inevitable. "What will you do then, Shagrat?" The Uruk only quietly grumbled, otherwise remaining silent. Obviously he did not know. Suddenly Frodo felt incredibly sad and empty inside. He could have cried, for he just realized how much he had grown fond of Shagrat in the meantime. But he composedly looked at the giant. "I have considered something as well, Shagrat. You have asked me whether I would be your friend, and I didn't have an answer..."
The Uruk soothingly grumbled. "Don't worry about that, little worm, for now I know this cannot work." Frodo looked at him in astonishment. "What do you mean?" Shagrat stared to the ground and went on, his voice softer than usual: "The Uruk-hai don't have any friends. Everybody hates them, and they hate everybody. It will always be this way... we are doomed." His sad und final statement made the hobbit wince in pain. But he would not give up so soon. "Not so hasty, Shagrat, it's not this simple..." But the Uruk had risen, seemingly determined to vanish into the forest again. Frodo rose now too, resolutely blocking his path. Taken by surprise, the giant answered with a deep growl. But the hobbit stood firm: "Shagrat, do listen to me, please..." The Uruk's growl became threatening: "Get out of my way, tiny thing, or you'll be sorry for that."
But instead of being frightened, Frodo suddenly got angry: "No way, nasty! I'm really sick of your fits at the slightest provocation. You want to have a friend? Then do something for it - if you don't mind - and learn the first rule of friendship right now. It says that friends do listen to each other! And if you got that, you might even start to listen right now! In case your question was meant serious. Otherwise it was definitely an orcish joke, and an incredibly good one too!" His blue eyes flashed with rage, completely putting Shagrat out. His honestly rueful expression made Frodo's anger subside immediately. "I didn't want to make you angry, little worm," the Uruk growled apologetically. Frodo quickly gave way: "I know, Shagrat. But you have asked me an important question which deserves a sincere answer. If you think we shall separate soon, we should talk about this now."
Still standing before Frodo, the Uruk shook his head with a grumble: "There's nothing left to talk about, little worm. I just told you that the Uruk-hai don't have any friends and that everybody hates them…" At this moment the hobbit took the giant's paw, looking up with a fixed gaze. "I do not hate you, Shagrat - I never did." The giant ground his teeth. "How can that be?" Frodo thought about it: "I was afraid of you, but this is something very different." Shagrat frowned. "What now? Are you not afraid of me anymore?" The hobbit sighed: "To tell you the truth: Sometimes you really frighten me! This exactly is the problem: Your rage is much too quick and violent. That is not encouraging for me at all. I am rather small and weak compared to you. Of course your rage initmidates me. Seeing what you're doing with trees and bushes, I'm always a bit afraid of you possibly treating me the same, you see?"
Shagrat snarled: "I'm only acting this way when I feel that pain - I just can't help it." The hobbit decidedly shook his head. "Shagrat, every creature knows mental pain, though you must not go and hit everything in your way whenever you feel like it. That just something you don't do, least of all to your friends. You do not frighten your friends, for they trust you. Not bad at all if you could learn to restrain yourself a little."
For a moment Shagrat said nothing, but then suddenly he groaned like Frodo never had heard him before: full of painful despair. The reflection of unspeakable anguish in the Uruk's face made the hobbit hold his breath. "Shagrat?" Their eyes met, and Frodo saw so horrible an agony that he felt it pierce his own heart.
The Uruk lowered his gaze and slowly began to speak: "I have tried to fight against this pain, again and again, but often it's stronger... it's so hard. It's the Black Power, Frodo, commanding me to torture and kill others. Any effort to refuse will hurt me. The pain is so enormous. It never really stops... I don't know if you understand. It's so strong a power… I'll never conquer it… I don't know how to explain..." He interrupted himself, but Frodo - his gaze infinitely gentle and pitiful - whispered soothingly: "It's alright, Shagrat, for I know exactly what you mean, since I know this power myself very well. You don't need to explain..."
At this moment also the hobbit felt icy claws grab at his heart. He started to tremble, and suddenly he found it hard to breathe. Downcast and desperate, he recognized that it could be too late for Shagrat, as it had been for Gollum as well. Would everyone - once touched by this evil power - be marked forever?
However, the dark moment passed when Shagrat's voice reached him again, suddenly not sounding so gloomy anymore: "Sometimes it's different though, little worm. It's not that bad then, and I feel better. Most of all when I look at you or hear you talking. Or when I watch you eat or sleep. That's why I just took it for a kind of wizardry... sounds strange to you, doesn't it?" Frodo tried to smile. "Feel free to call it wizardry - for this might be not so wrong at all - but they also call it pity. As long as there is pity, there is also friendship, and as long as there is friendship, there is hope as well. For you also, Shagrat." The giant grunted in confusion. "It sounds strange to me. Could you maybe explain it more easily?" Frodo's smile returned. "Yes, Shagrat, I can. It means that I would like to be your friend. How do you like that?"
Instead of an answer Shagrat seized the hobbit without a warning to lift him high above his head, and he began to shake him gently and playfully. First Frodo was not sure at all whether this was a good sign. However, looking down and noticing the awkward grin of the Uruk, he found this sight absurd, but not dangerous, so he could not help starting to giggle. "What are you doing?" he asked laughingly. Shagrat became serious and answered with deep conviction: "Come now, little worm! I'm doing exactly what you told me to do. You said if there is this other strange feeling, I should do what comes to my mind right then." This was too much for Frodo. He could not restrain himself any longer and burst into peals of laughter. Well, that's great, he thought, - so much for the awkward explanations of a hobbit and orcish dances of joy! However, he enjoyed this moment very much, finally having a good reason to laugh again. He laughed until his entire body was aching and his stomach was put to the test again, for Shagrat had not stopped shaking him after bursting into roaring laughter himself.
When Frodo found it was enough, he looked at Shagrat, pretending to be indignant. "Put me down again, will you? Otherwise I'll be getting sick, for you must know that halflings don't trust heights so much." Shagrat was still grinning playfully. "Well, I just don't want to." Frodo tried a little stricter: "Come on, Shagrat, it's enough! Don't go too far!" Right at this moment the hobbit perceived a sharply hissing noise in the air. Then he watched in shocked amazement as the Uruk's shoulder was pierced by an arrow...
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