Chapter Eleven - Please Let Me In
Scully opened up the window of the small cabin letting the fresh air fill the room. She breathed deeply enjoying the scents of the flowers that sprung up everywhere.
When Scully had first arrived at the cabin her emotions had been nothing short of raw. She stayed up half the night listening for Mulder's arrival.
The next several days she found herself doing the same thing. Waiting for him to come and being mad at him when he didn't.
By the fourth day she had finally realized that Mulder was adhering to her specific request to be left alone. She admitted to herself that although she had told him to build himself a life without her she had truly wished that he would have dropped everything and followed her.
"What a fool you are" she chastised herself "He didn't come after you the first time and you weren't damaged goods then. Why do you think he will come now - especially when you told him NOT to."
She had cried then a little only later noticing that it was the first time since her attack that she had cried about anything.
Knowing for sure that Mulder wasn't coming gave Scully permission to really relax and let her guard down. She stayed up late reading trashy novels and slept in.
She didn't shower until the latter part of the afternoon or on some days never showered at all instead opting to bathe nude in the warm water of the nearby lake.
By the middle of the second week, Scully began to be at peace with herself.
On this particular day, Scully had slept in very late and had barely showered off before dressing in some old cut off jeans and one of Mulder's old Yankee t-shirts. She looked down at the shirt and smiled wondering to herself why Mulder had never asked for it back.
She read a little and walked a bit through the woods before settling down on the dock at sunset with a glass of wine dangling her toes in the water.
Scully felt his presence before she heard him. She closed her eyes and whispered a small prayer of thanks.
"Hey" Mulder said softly "is this seat taken?" Scully looked up at him standing there in a pair of running shorts and a t- shirt that made the one she was wearing look new.
"Be my guest" she said not noticing that she moved a little away from him when he sat.
Mulder noticed but said nothing just hung his legs over the edge of the dock and waited.
"So what brings you to this neck of the woods Agent Mulder? Crop circles nearby?"
Mulder smiled at this "No actually I came to get back my t-shirt." He was rewarded for his small joke with a little smile. "Seriously Scully I can here to make good on my word."
"Your word?" Scully said frowning slightly.
"If you remember Scully, about a month ago I promised to wine, dine and romance you"
"I appreciate the thought Mulder but frankly I think you will be wasting your time. The Dana Scully you wanted to wine and dine and take to bed no longer exists." She said a bit coldly.
"I don't agree with you Scully. I think she just needs a little help getting out." Mulder said working hard to keep his emotions out of his voice.
"And you think you are the man to perform this miracle?" Scully said looking at him skeptically.
"Scully, you know I don't like to blow my own horn, but you know I have a knack of getting into people's heads." He said looking out over the water.
"You want to get into my head?" Scully said not sure if she should be insulted or angry.
"What I want, Scully, is to try to help you get through this."
"Why?" she demanded taking a large gulp of her wine.
"Because you mean everything to me Scully and because I know you would do the same for me. Wouldn't you?" he replied.
Scully ignored the question. "What about work? The X-files?"
"Luckily for me Skinner has always had a little thing for you." Mulder said smiling.
"He has not" Scully retorted
"Well, for whatever reason he has put me on paid leave to 'render my professional psychological services to a fellow FBI agent who is suffering from the aftermath of several violent acts committed against her while performing her duty'."
"Really?" Scully said mildly impressed that Skinner would go to bat for her like that.
"Really. So what do you say? Can I hang around and bug you for a while Scully?" Mulder tried to keep the tone light but was very nervous that she would say 'no'.
"I suppose a little company wouldn't hurt. Do you promise to put the top on the toothpaste and leave the toilet seat where you find it?"
Mulder laughed. "I'll do my best"
"Okay then Agent Mulder, you can stay."
Mulder let go the breath he been holding. "Good, I'll put my things in the cabin."
True to his word Mulder did not push himself on Scully. He even refrained from casual touches for the first couple of days as she accustomed herself to his presence.
During the first day or so, she would move ever-so-slightly away from him whenever he stood nearer. By the third day Mulder noticed that this subtle movement had stopped.
He took this as a good sign and slowly incorporated his 'normal' touches back into the mix. Scully reacted pretty much the same as before. Nervous at first but slowly accepting.
Mulder also encouraged Scully to talk. About anything and nothing.
And she did. She found herself opening up herself to him in a way that she never thought possible.
Mulder was a great listener once you managed to keep him in one place for any length of time. He never judged and often provided some keen insight or advice.
"Maybe when you return home you should start your own practice" Scully said one night after they had sat in front of the fire for hours just talking.
"Wouldn't that raise a few eyebrows down at the Bureau?" he said laughing. He looked at her then and for the first time in weeks saw something stir down in the depths of her eyes.
He tried to keep his excitement under wraps. He didn't want to scare her - not when she had come so far.
Knowing that this was a good time to call it a day, he had risen from his seat and stretched. "I am beat Scully. I think I will turn in."
"I am going to read a bit I think" Scully said. Mulder nodded knowing full well that Scully read until she was on the brink of exhaustion just to ensure that she would fall quickly asleep.
"Tomorrow I thought I would take a hike up the mountain. Would you care to join me?"
"Agent Mulder are you asking me out on a date?" she said not believing that she was actually flirting with him.
Mulder just raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed. "Typical man - won't commit to anything."
Mulder faked a pout at her comment and she laughed again. "Okay, okay, I'll go with you."
"Great" Mulder said "See you in the morning."
The Mountaintop
The hike had taken longer than either expected but the view was worth all the effort. The day was clear and from their perch on top of the mountain they could see for miles and miles in every direction.
"This was a great idea Mulder" Scully said as she settled herself against a tree a poked around in her bag for her lunch.
"Thanks for joining me Scully." He said sitting down next to her and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Noticing that she hadn't flinched at his touch her took the chance and placed his palm against her cheek. "I am glad you are here to share this with me."
Scully looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but tenderness, warmth and the slightest hint of desire there. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to savor the warmth of his hand against his skin.
When she opened her eyes she found him still watching her intently. Feeling slightly embarrassed she reached back into her backpack mumbling something about being starving.
They ate in companionable silence speaking only to point out a strange bird in flight or some other example of nature's splendor.
Once full, Scully gave out a huge yawn grinning sheepishly at Mulder when she had stopped. "I guess I stayed up too late last night reading" she admitted.
"Why don't you take a little catnap?" Mulder suggested patting his lap. "I will be honored to serve as your pillow."
Scully looked at him a bit skeptically and then yawned again. She nodded and curled up into a little ball with her head on Mulder's lap.
She smiled up at him and he quietly began to stroke her hair. "Don't let me sleep too long" she said eyes already beginning to close.
Scully fell asleep within seconds feeling safe for the first time in weeks. Mulder sat there stroking her hair and enjoying the peaceful look on her face.
He was still gazing at her and stroking her when she awoke. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Sleep well Scully?" Mulder said as she slowly sat up still a bit groggy. She nodded at him sleepily and he put his arm around her and pulled her close.
Scully laid her head on his chest and sighed. "Are the nightmares still keeping you up at night?" he asked softly as he gently rubbed her back.
"Yeah" she said so softly he could barely hear her. "Do you think they will ever go away?"
"I think once you know that you are truly safe that they will begin to fade." Mulder answered her kissing the top of her head.
"You make me feel safe Mulder" she said pulling her head away from his chest so she could look at him. Her eyes locked with his and despite his best efforts his gaze went down to her lips.
"I'm glad" Mulder said feeling the pull of her like steel to a magnet. He moved very slowly towards knowing that he may be rushing things with her but unable to pull away.
Scully must have felt it too for she opened her lips slightly and tilted her head to receive his kiss.
Their lips had barely touched when a surge of pure panic raced through Scully. Before she could stop herself she pushed him away, got up and began to race down the path.
++++++++++++++++++++ End of chapter eleven. You send me more reviews - I write more chapters. sound good?
Scully opened up the window of the small cabin letting the fresh air fill the room. She breathed deeply enjoying the scents of the flowers that sprung up everywhere.
When Scully had first arrived at the cabin her emotions had been nothing short of raw. She stayed up half the night listening for Mulder's arrival.
The next several days she found herself doing the same thing. Waiting for him to come and being mad at him when he didn't.
By the fourth day she had finally realized that Mulder was adhering to her specific request to be left alone. She admitted to herself that although she had told him to build himself a life without her she had truly wished that he would have dropped everything and followed her.
"What a fool you are" she chastised herself "He didn't come after you the first time and you weren't damaged goods then. Why do you think he will come now - especially when you told him NOT to."
She had cried then a little only later noticing that it was the first time since her attack that she had cried about anything.
Knowing for sure that Mulder wasn't coming gave Scully permission to really relax and let her guard down. She stayed up late reading trashy novels and slept in.
She didn't shower until the latter part of the afternoon or on some days never showered at all instead opting to bathe nude in the warm water of the nearby lake.
By the middle of the second week, Scully began to be at peace with herself.
On this particular day, Scully had slept in very late and had barely showered off before dressing in some old cut off jeans and one of Mulder's old Yankee t-shirts. She looked down at the shirt and smiled wondering to herself why Mulder had never asked for it back.
She read a little and walked a bit through the woods before settling down on the dock at sunset with a glass of wine dangling her toes in the water.
Scully felt his presence before she heard him. She closed her eyes and whispered a small prayer of thanks.
"Hey" Mulder said softly "is this seat taken?" Scully looked up at him standing there in a pair of running shorts and a t- shirt that made the one she was wearing look new.
"Be my guest" she said not noticing that she moved a little away from him when he sat.
Mulder noticed but said nothing just hung his legs over the edge of the dock and waited.
"So what brings you to this neck of the woods Agent Mulder? Crop circles nearby?"
Mulder smiled at this "No actually I came to get back my t-shirt." He was rewarded for his small joke with a little smile. "Seriously Scully I can here to make good on my word."
"Your word?" Scully said frowning slightly.
"If you remember Scully, about a month ago I promised to wine, dine and romance you"
"I appreciate the thought Mulder but frankly I think you will be wasting your time. The Dana Scully you wanted to wine and dine and take to bed no longer exists." She said a bit coldly.
"I don't agree with you Scully. I think she just needs a little help getting out." Mulder said working hard to keep his emotions out of his voice.
"And you think you are the man to perform this miracle?" Scully said looking at him skeptically.
"Scully, you know I don't like to blow my own horn, but you know I have a knack of getting into people's heads." He said looking out over the water.
"You want to get into my head?" Scully said not sure if she should be insulted or angry.
"What I want, Scully, is to try to help you get through this."
"Why?" she demanded taking a large gulp of her wine.
"Because you mean everything to me Scully and because I know you would do the same for me. Wouldn't you?" he replied.
Scully ignored the question. "What about work? The X-files?"
"Luckily for me Skinner has always had a little thing for you." Mulder said smiling.
"He has not" Scully retorted
"Well, for whatever reason he has put me on paid leave to 'render my professional psychological services to a fellow FBI agent who is suffering from the aftermath of several violent acts committed against her while performing her duty'."
"Really?" Scully said mildly impressed that Skinner would go to bat for her like that.
"Really. So what do you say? Can I hang around and bug you for a while Scully?" Mulder tried to keep the tone light but was very nervous that she would say 'no'.
"I suppose a little company wouldn't hurt. Do you promise to put the top on the toothpaste and leave the toilet seat where you find it?"
Mulder laughed. "I'll do my best"
"Okay then Agent Mulder, you can stay."
Mulder let go the breath he been holding. "Good, I'll put my things in the cabin."
True to his word Mulder did not push himself on Scully. He even refrained from casual touches for the first couple of days as she accustomed herself to his presence.
During the first day or so, she would move ever-so-slightly away from him whenever he stood nearer. By the third day Mulder noticed that this subtle movement had stopped.
He took this as a good sign and slowly incorporated his 'normal' touches back into the mix. Scully reacted pretty much the same as before. Nervous at first but slowly accepting.
Mulder also encouraged Scully to talk. About anything and nothing.
And she did. She found herself opening up herself to him in a way that she never thought possible.
Mulder was a great listener once you managed to keep him in one place for any length of time. He never judged and often provided some keen insight or advice.
"Maybe when you return home you should start your own practice" Scully said one night after they had sat in front of the fire for hours just talking.
"Wouldn't that raise a few eyebrows down at the Bureau?" he said laughing. He looked at her then and for the first time in weeks saw something stir down in the depths of her eyes.
He tried to keep his excitement under wraps. He didn't want to scare her - not when she had come so far.
Knowing that this was a good time to call it a day, he had risen from his seat and stretched. "I am beat Scully. I think I will turn in."
"I am going to read a bit I think" Scully said. Mulder nodded knowing full well that Scully read until she was on the brink of exhaustion just to ensure that she would fall quickly asleep.
"Tomorrow I thought I would take a hike up the mountain. Would you care to join me?"
"Agent Mulder are you asking me out on a date?" she said not believing that she was actually flirting with him.
Mulder just raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed. "Typical man - won't commit to anything."
Mulder faked a pout at her comment and she laughed again. "Okay, okay, I'll go with you."
"Great" Mulder said "See you in the morning."
The Mountaintop
The hike had taken longer than either expected but the view was worth all the effort. The day was clear and from their perch on top of the mountain they could see for miles and miles in every direction.
"This was a great idea Mulder" Scully said as she settled herself against a tree a poked around in her bag for her lunch.
"Thanks for joining me Scully." He said sitting down next to her and pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Noticing that she hadn't flinched at his touch her took the chance and placed his palm against her cheek. "I am glad you are here to share this with me."
Scully looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but tenderness, warmth and the slightest hint of desire there. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to savor the warmth of his hand against his skin.
When she opened her eyes she found him still watching her intently. Feeling slightly embarrassed she reached back into her backpack mumbling something about being starving.
They ate in companionable silence speaking only to point out a strange bird in flight or some other example of nature's splendor.
Once full, Scully gave out a huge yawn grinning sheepishly at Mulder when she had stopped. "I guess I stayed up too late last night reading" she admitted.
"Why don't you take a little catnap?" Mulder suggested patting his lap. "I will be honored to serve as your pillow."
Scully looked at him a bit skeptically and then yawned again. She nodded and curled up into a little ball with her head on Mulder's lap.
She smiled up at him and he quietly began to stroke her hair. "Don't let me sleep too long" she said eyes already beginning to close.
Scully fell asleep within seconds feeling safe for the first time in weeks. Mulder sat there stroking her hair and enjoying the peaceful look on her face.
He was still gazing at her and stroking her when she awoke. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Sleep well Scully?" Mulder said as she slowly sat up still a bit groggy. She nodded at him sleepily and he put his arm around her and pulled her close.
Scully laid her head on his chest and sighed. "Are the nightmares still keeping you up at night?" he asked softly as he gently rubbed her back.
"Yeah" she said so softly he could barely hear her. "Do you think they will ever go away?"
"I think once you know that you are truly safe that they will begin to fade." Mulder answered her kissing the top of her head.
"You make me feel safe Mulder" she said pulling her head away from his chest so she could look at him. Her eyes locked with his and despite his best efforts his gaze went down to her lips.
"I'm glad" Mulder said feeling the pull of her like steel to a magnet. He moved very slowly towards knowing that he may be rushing things with her but unable to pull away.
Scully must have felt it too for she opened her lips slightly and tilted her head to receive his kiss.
Their lips had barely touched when a surge of pure panic raced through Scully. Before she could stop herself she pushed him away, got up and began to race down the path.
++++++++++++++++++++ End of chapter eleven. You send me more reviews - I write more chapters. sound good?