Chapter twelve - I Want To Do This For You
Mulder took his time packing up their things and heading back down the mountain. There really was no need to rush.
Scully would need time to collect herself and he would need time to walk off the frustration. He knew it had been awhile since he had found relief either by his own hand or with a woman but he was amazed at how aroused he had become at the mere thought of kissing her.
Heaven help him if she ever let him touch her.
Mulder found Scully sitting on the porch swing sipping wine when he returned. She had showered and had changed out of her hiking clothes and into a pretty little sun dress.
Scully stood up as he approached and walked over to him as he climbed the porch steps.
"Mulder I." she began but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.
"I think I am going to take a quick shower" was all he said before entering the cabin leaving Scully to wonder how much of set back her actions on the mountain had been.
Mulder showered quickly and then joined Scully out on the porch swing accepting with a smile the glass of wine she offered him.
They sat side by side in uncomfortable silence until Scully finally broke it. "Mulder, if it is okay with you I would like to try again."
Mulder thought he had misheard her until he saw that she had suddenly become very interested in the boards making up the porch floor.
"Try what again?" Mulder asked just to be sure.
Scully actually blushed, something which Mulder found quite charming. "The kiss. Maybe between the wine and the knowledge that it is coming, I won't freak out again."
Mulder put down his wine glass and then turned to her taking her face between his hands. "You look very beautiful tonight Scully." He said looking directly into her eyes.
He bent over slowly and barely touched her lips with his. He pulled back and looked at her his eyes full of concern. "Still okay Scully?" he said. Scully looked up at him her eyes asking him to continue. So he did. This time a bit longer and a bit deeper.
Scully felt herself slowly open up to him. She began to kiss him back and felt her desire rushing through her body and pooling between her legs.
It was this sensation, though, that caused her to break off the kiss rather abruptly. Mulder looked down at her and saw that her eyes were once again filling with fear.
This time it was Mulder who bolted upright his frustration at the situation showing itself for the first time. He swung his fist randomly knocking over a small table before walking to the railing and hitting it with his palm with all his might.
"It's alright Mulder" Scully said walking over to him.
"It's not alright at all Scully" Mulder said whirling around to face her. "God I am aching to touch you and I can't."
He strode past her and threw himself into one of the porches many chairs. "I know I am being selfish Scully but I can't help it. I want so much to help you." his voice trailed off.
Scully walked over to him and sat down on the ground in front of his chair waiting for him to gather himself together enough to look down at her.
When he did she smiled up at him shaking her head in amazement. "Mulder sometimes you amaze me."
"How so?" Mulder said still angry.
"You are probably the most intelligent man I have ever met and yet some times you can't see what is going on right in front of you."
Mulder snorted at this but said nothing. "You really think that you haven't helped me?"
Mulder nodded. "Mulder, look at me." When he did she continued. "Did you know that when I was in the hospital, the mere thought of a man being in the same room with me made me physically sick."
"It did?" Mulder said wondering if he had caused such a reaction.
As if she read his mind she continued. "Even you Mulder although in your case I managed to keep it under control until after you left."
"I am so sorry Scully" Mulder said reaching down and stroking her face. "I had no idea I was upsetting you so much."
"Don't you see, it isn't you that is causing all of these reactions but my memories of them." She took his hand in her small one and kissed it. "Only two weeks ago I wasn't able to feel anything. To connect to anyone. To let myself touch or be touched."
"The fact that I am sitting here hoping that you will kiss me again before the night is done is proof positive of how much you have helped me Mulder. Can't you see that?"
Mulder nodded and said tentatively "You really want to kiss me again?"
She laughed at the look of awe on his face. "Mulder, that is the least of what I want to do to you." She said slowly dragging one lone finger up and down the top of his thigh.
Mulder looked mildly shocked at the idea although his crotch seemed to have other ideas. "Scully!" he said knocking her hand off his leg. "Don't even think such a thing. If you can't well then..I will just wait until you can."
Scully laughed enjoying seeing the usually cool and collected Mulder so flustered. "Oh come on Mulder. I thought you would be happy at the progress I made. A little over a month ago I was scared to death to even lay my eyes on you. Now I can't help but think of all the things I can do for you until I get 'back on my feet.'"
At this a totally shocked Mulder got up and walked into the living room. He paused in front of the fireplace as in deep thought.
He turned slowly giving Scully a suspicious look as she came along side him.
"Why?" he said bluntly.
"Because I want to do this for you Mulder. I owe you my soul, the least I can do is ease your frustration a bit while satisfying a long time fantasy of mine." She said flirtatiously.
This comment distracted Mulder a moment, but he narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "Why?" he repeated. He paused before continuing. "Are you leaving?"
Scully sighed and nodded. Mulder looked at her for a moment like his heart would break and then walked over to the mantle and leaned against it.
Scully walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. "I am leaving first thing in the morning Mulder."
"Why?" Mulder asked for the third time.
"I did a lot of thinking before you arrived Mulder." She began leaning her cheek against his back as she spoke. "I have decided to sell my house and relocate."
"Where?" Mulder said trying to remain calm.
"I am not sure yet. I have been looking into a couple of job opportunities so I guess I will go where the work takes me."
She pulled away from him then and taking one arm turned him so he faced her. "Mulder I have to do this. I have to take back control of my life. Can you understand that?"
Mulder did and nodded his understanding. "Taking back my life doesn't mean, however, that I have any intention of removing you from it." She said looking into his eyes with an intensity which showed she meant every word of what she was saying.
"I promise you Mulder that as soon as know which path I will be taking, you will be the first person I call."
"Even before your mother?" Mulder said trying to force himself to smile.
Scully smiled back. "Even before my mother. You are going to have to trust me on this one Mulder. Do you think you can do that?"
Mulder nodded again even though he felt his heart tear. He knew he had no choice but to let her leave and then pray like crazy that she would return.
"Good" Scully said "Now let's see about supper."
They made dinner and ate in relative silence. When they had finished, Scully asked Mulder if he wanted to go for a walk with her down to the lake.
"It is so beautiful in the moonlight" she had told him "I would like to see it one more time before I leave."
Mulder had agreed immediately and they walked down the path together with Mulder's arm slung protectively about her.
There was a bench on the small pier and they sat there looking out onto the water. Scully snuggled against Mulder's chest and he wrapped his arms around her wondering for the thousandth time that night how he was ever going to let her go.
They sat there in silence until Scully pulled back enough so she could see Mulder's face. Her eyes were searching for something in his and when she saw it she sighed. What she felt for him was echoed back to her in his own eyes.
He kissed her then. Long and deep and very tenderly. When they finally pulled apart he smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead.
"Promise me you won't take long Scully" he said
"I promise" she said as he bent down to kiss her again.
Mulder woke the next morning stretching and feeling the most relaxed he had in months. He smiled to himself as he thought back over the events of the previous night.
After a prolonged make-out session down on the pier Mulder had escorted Scully to the door of her room where she kissed him once again before saying 'goodnight'.
Somewhere in the middle of the night Mulder had become aware of a presence in the room. He opened his eyes to see Scully standing in the doorway silhouetted by the hall light shining behind her.
She had wasted little time joining him on his bed and pulling him towards her in a kiss that gave Mulder a small sample of the passion would offer him.
His body responded immediately and when Scully smiled and cocked an eyebrow at him, he shook his head. As much as he had fantasized about her doing what she was proposing, he would wait.
Scully had smiled again at him and kissed him very softly.It was then that she had crawled alongside him and pulled his arm across her and they had both fallen asleep.
Mulder smiled at the memory and strained his ears listening sounds within the cabin. He knew he would hear none.
Scully was gone.
He fell back against the pillows when he heard the subtle chirping of his cell phone. He bound out of bed tripping over his own shoes as he grabbed his jacket and pulled the phone from the pocket.
"Mulder" he said his voice still hoarse.
"Good morning sleepy head" Mulder could hear the smile in Scully's voice.
"Good morning Scully. Where are you?" Mulder said trying not to sound too desperate.
"At the airport, my flight leaves in about 15 minutes." Scully paused then said "I believe I promised that I would never leave without saying goodbye so 'goodbye' Mulder."
"Goodbye Scully" Mulder murmured.
++++++++++++++++++++ End of chapter 12
Mulder took his time packing up their things and heading back down the mountain. There really was no need to rush.
Scully would need time to collect herself and he would need time to walk off the frustration. He knew it had been awhile since he had found relief either by his own hand or with a woman but he was amazed at how aroused he had become at the mere thought of kissing her.
Heaven help him if she ever let him touch her.
Mulder found Scully sitting on the porch swing sipping wine when he returned. She had showered and had changed out of her hiking clothes and into a pretty little sun dress.
Scully stood up as he approached and walked over to him as he climbed the porch steps.
"Mulder I." she began but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.
"I think I am going to take a quick shower" was all he said before entering the cabin leaving Scully to wonder how much of set back her actions on the mountain had been.
Mulder showered quickly and then joined Scully out on the porch swing accepting with a smile the glass of wine she offered him.
They sat side by side in uncomfortable silence until Scully finally broke it. "Mulder, if it is okay with you I would like to try again."
Mulder thought he had misheard her until he saw that she had suddenly become very interested in the boards making up the porch floor.
"Try what again?" Mulder asked just to be sure.
Scully actually blushed, something which Mulder found quite charming. "The kiss. Maybe between the wine and the knowledge that it is coming, I won't freak out again."
Mulder put down his wine glass and then turned to her taking her face between his hands. "You look very beautiful tonight Scully." He said looking directly into her eyes.
He bent over slowly and barely touched her lips with his. He pulled back and looked at her his eyes full of concern. "Still okay Scully?" he said. Scully looked up at him her eyes asking him to continue. So he did. This time a bit longer and a bit deeper.
Scully felt herself slowly open up to him. She began to kiss him back and felt her desire rushing through her body and pooling between her legs.
It was this sensation, though, that caused her to break off the kiss rather abruptly. Mulder looked down at her and saw that her eyes were once again filling with fear.
This time it was Mulder who bolted upright his frustration at the situation showing itself for the first time. He swung his fist randomly knocking over a small table before walking to the railing and hitting it with his palm with all his might.
"It's alright Mulder" Scully said walking over to him.
"It's not alright at all Scully" Mulder said whirling around to face her. "God I am aching to touch you and I can't."
He strode past her and threw himself into one of the porches many chairs. "I know I am being selfish Scully but I can't help it. I want so much to help you." his voice trailed off.
Scully walked over to him and sat down on the ground in front of his chair waiting for him to gather himself together enough to look down at her.
When he did she smiled up at him shaking her head in amazement. "Mulder sometimes you amaze me."
"How so?" Mulder said still angry.
"You are probably the most intelligent man I have ever met and yet some times you can't see what is going on right in front of you."
Mulder snorted at this but said nothing. "You really think that you haven't helped me?"
Mulder nodded. "Mulder, look at me." When he did she continued. "Did you know that when I was in the hospital, the mere thought of a man being in the same room with me made me physically sick."
"It did?" Mulder said wondering if he had caused such a reaction.
As if she read his mind she continued. "Even you Mulder although in your case I managed to keep it under control until after you left."
"I am so sorry Scully" Mulder said reaching down and stroking her face. "I had no idea I was upsetting you so much."
"Don't you see, it isn't you that is causing all of these reactions but my memories of them." She took his hand in her small one and kissed it. "Only two weeks ago I wasn't able to feel anything. To connect to anyone. To let myself touch or be touched."
"The fact that I am sitting here hoping that you will kiss me again before the night is done is proof positive of how much you have helped me Mulder. Can't you see that?"
Mulder nodded and said tentatively "You really want to kiss me again?"
She laughed at the look of awe on his face. "Mulder, that is the least of what I want to do to you." She said slowly dragging one lone finger up and down the top of his thigh.
Mulder looked mildly shocked at the idea although his crotch seemed to have other ideas. "Scully!" he said knocking her hand off his leg. "Don't even think such a thing. If you can't well then..I will just wait until you can."
Scully laughed enjoying seeing the usually cool and collected Mulder so flustered. "Oh come on Mulder. I thought you would be happy at the progress I made. A little over a month ago I was scared to death to even lay my eyes on you. Now I can't help but think of all the things I can do for you until I get 'back on my feet.'"
At this a totally shocked Mulder got up and walked into the living room. He paused in front of the fireplace as in deep thought.
He turned slowly giving Scully a suspicious look as she came along side him.
"Why?" he said bluntly.
"Because I want to do this for you Mulder. I owe you my soul, the least I can do is ease your frustration a bit while satisfying a long time fantasy of mine." She said flirtatiously.
This comment distracted Mulder a moment, but he narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "Why?" he repeated. He paused before continuing. "Are you leaving?"
Scully sighed and nodded. Mulder looked at her for a moment like his heart would break and then walked over to the mantle and leaned against it.
Scully walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. "I am leaving first thing in the morning Mulder."
"Why?" Mulder asked for the third time.
"I did a lot of thinking before you arrived Mulder." She began leaning her cheek against his back as she spoke. "I have decided to sell my house and relocate."
"Where?" Mulder said trying to remain calm.
"I am not sure yet. I have been looking into a couple of job opportunities so I guess I will go where the work takes me."
She pulled away from him then and taking one arm turned him so he faced her. "Mulder I have to do this. I have to take back control of my life. Can you understand that?"
Mulder did and nodded his understanding. "Taking back my life doesn't mean, however, that I have any intention of removing you from it." She said looking into his eyes with an intensity which showed she meant every word of what she was saying.
"I promise you Mulder that as soon as know which path I will be taking, you will be the first person I call."
"Even before your mother?" Mulder said trying to force himself to smile.
Scully smiled back. "Even before my mother. You are going to have to trust me on this one Mulder. Do you think you can do that?"
Mulder nodded again even though he felt his heart tear. He knew he had no choice but to let her leave and then pray like crazy that she would return.
"Good" Scully said "Now let's see about supper."
They made dinner and ate in relative silence. When they had finished, Scully asked Mulder if he wanted to go for a walk with her down to the lake.
"It is so beautiful in the moonlight" she had told him "I would like to see it one more time before I leave."
Mulder had agreed immediately and they walked down the path together with Mulder's arm slung protectively about her.
There was a bench on the small pier and they sat there looking out onto the water. Scully snuggled against Mulder's chest and he wrapped his arms around her wondering for the thousandth time that night how he was ever going to let her go.
They sat there in silence until Scully pulled back enough so she could see Mulder's face. Her eyes were searching for something in his and when she saw it she sighed. What she felt for him was echoed back to her in his own eyes.
He kissed her then. Long and deep and very tenderly. When they finally pulled apart he smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead.
"Promise me you won't take long Scully" he said
"I promise" she said as he bent down to kiss her again.
Mulder woke the next morning stretching and feeling the most relaxed he had in months. He smiled to himself as he thought back over the events of the previous night.
After a prolonged make-out session down on the pier Mulder had escorted Scully to the door of her room where she kissed him once again before saying 'goodnight'.
Somewhere in the middle of the night Mulder had become aware of a presence in the room. He opened his eyes to see Scully standing in the doorway silhouetted by the hall light shining behind her.
She had wasted little time joining him on his bed and pulling him towards her in a kiss that gave Mulder a small sample of the passion would offer him.
His body responded immediately and when Scully smiled and cocked an eyebrow at him, he shook his head. As much as he had fantasized about her doing what she was proposing, he would wait.
Scully had smiled again at him and kissed him very softly.It was then that she had crawled alongside him and pulled his arm across her and they had both fallen asleep.
Mulder smiled at the memory and strained his ears listening sounds within the cabin. He knew he would hear none.
Scully was gone.
He fell back against the pillows when he heard the subtle chirping of his cell phone. He bound out of bed tripping over his own shoes as he grabbed his jacket and pulled the phone from the pocket.
"Mulder" he said his voice still hoarse.
"Good morning sleepy head" Mulder could hear the smile in Scully's voice.
"Good morning Scully. Where are you?" Mulder said trying not to sound too desperate.
"At the airport, my flight leaves in about 15 minutes." Scully paused then said "I believe I promised that I would never leave without saying goodbye so 'goodbye' Mulder."
"Goodbye Scully" Mulder murmured.
++++++++++++++++++++ End of chapter 12