Deemma_4w: Well, this is one road trip I'm not gonna forget for a long
time. Uh, where's the Queen of Random? What are you doing there? We're on
chapter five now, so you can stop replaying the Gambit stripping scene.
Queen of Random: How dare you?! I am the Queen of Random, and if I want to watch hot Cajun mutants dance around in their tightie-whities, then I shall!
Deemma_4w: Fine, but can't you wait until later?
Queen of Random: I suppose so, but I must warn the audience that taking drugs is bad for them. That is all. Let chapter five begin!
Chapter Five: Pretty Fly for a High Guy
As Wanda walked away to the bathroom, Amanda looked around the room, trying to think of a suitable dare. "Pietro. Truth or dare?"
"Dare!"
"Dare you say? Fine by me. I dare you to go to Bayville," began Amanda.
"And?"
"Steal Evan's skateboard."
"Done!" replied Pietro, and in a flash of white, blue and brown, he was gone.
After seven minutes, and Pietro was still not back, Lance asked aloud, "What's taking him so long?"
"Dunno."
Then something flashed, and Pietro came riding down the aisle, on Evan's skateboard. "I got it!" he cackled. Then he fell off the skateboard.
"Ha ha!"
"Oh, shut up!"
"Hey, Pietro," asked Kitty. "What's that in your hand?"
"What, this?" Pietro held up a video camera. "I just made a home movie or two."
"What do you mean by 'home movie'?" asked Gambit, shivering ever so slightly. "Hey, you up there!" he called to the driver. "Can't you turn up the heat?"
"No need to," came the reply. "I was watching you earlier, and you seemed to be turning up the heat all by yourself."
"Meaning?"
"Just drop it, Gambit," interrupted Rogue. "I want to see these 'home movies' of Pietro's!"
"Is there a TV around?" asked Pietro.
"There's two, one in the large boy's stomach, and another up front. Take your pick," called the driver.
"All right!" called Pyro, recovering slightly after his unpatriotic bet. "Let's get this show on the road!"
"We are on the road," replied Colossus.
"You know what I mean!"
"Everyone ready?" asked Pietro, putting the video in the VCR. "I must warn you though, what you are about to see will both amaze and disturb you. Are there any children or pregnant women in the audience?"
"Just play the damn tape!"
"But what about Kitty?" asked Lance.
"What about Kitty?"
"She should not be subjected to this kind of punishment. I know what Pietro's home movies are like, and it is wrong to make her watch this!"
"Okay, then," said Pietro. "It's my turn, and I dare you all to watch this video."
"No fair!"
"Oh, this'll be good," crowed Pyro.
"Let the marvel begin!" announced Pietro.
The video began to play. "Your camera work is really bad, Pietro!" shouted someone.
"So?!"
"Just shut up and watch the damn thing!"
The viewpoint then panned to a doorway, which revealed Evan. But, it was not normal Evan. He was sitting in the Professor's spare wheel-chair, and. . .
"Is that an afro on his head?"
Yes, there was. And that is not all that was happening. You see, Evan was singing. And the song went something like this.
"I was gonna save the world, but then I got high
Was gonna pay for the jet's repair, but then I got high
Now I'm a paraplegic, and I know why
Hey, hey
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high."
"Is he singing 'Because I got high'?"
"I'm afraid so."
"But those aren't the words, aren't they?"
"They're his own creation," said Pietro, grinning like the cat that had got the cream. Which he might have stolen en route back to the bus.
On the screen, Evan finished spinning around on the wheelchair, and continued his song. ". . . Now I'm a bald telepath, and I know why
Hey, hey
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high."
"Evan?! What are you doing?" asked a voice on screen.
"Aunty O!" cried Evan, falling off his wheelchair. "I was just. . ."
"I don't want to hear it, Evan. We are going to see Professor Xavier right now!"
"But it. . ."
"You know the rules about drugs in the Institute. And an afro is almost as bad. I know your Dennis Rodman style haircut isn't the best in the world, but at least you're in this decade!"
Everyone laughed as they watched Evan get dragged out of the room, and the screen was now filled with Pietro's face. "I wonder what else is going on in Bayville?"
Just then, Kurt sat up from his stupor, and asked, "Where is Wanda? Hey! What is she doing, floating outside the window?" Then he fell over again.
"Who was the genius who got the elf drunk?"
"That was Wanda. Speaking of Wanda," asked Jean. "Where is she?"
"She went to the bathroom, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. But what is taking her so long?"
"Dunno. Maybe one of us should go and check?"
"Not me!"
"Nor me!"
"Pietro, you go!"
"Why me?!"
"Because you're her brother!" answered Lance.
"But that's why I shouldn't go!"
"Just do it! You can get away fast enough, anyway," added Rogue.
"True." But no matter how fast Pietro could run, he was walking at a shockingly slow pace to the bathroom.
"Wanda?" he asked, knocking on the door. "Are you all right?"
When there was no reply, he knocked on the door, putting a lot more force behind it. The door swung open.
"Wanda?!"
Queen of Random: How dare you?! I am the Queen of Random, and if I want to watch hot Cajun mutants dance around in their tightie-whities, then I shall!
Deemma_4w: Fine, but can't you wait until later?
Queen of Random: I suppose so, but I must warn the audience that taking drugs is bad for them. That is all. Let chapter five begin!
Chapter Five: Pretty Fly for a High Guy
As Wanda walked away to the bathroom, Amanda looked around the room, trying to think of a suitable dare. "Pietro. Truth or dare?"
"Dare!"
"Dare you say? Fine by me. I dare you to go to Bayville," began Amanda.
"And?"
"Steal Evan's skateboard."
"Done!" replied Pietro, and in a flash of white, blue and brown, he was gone.
After seven minutes, and Pietro was still not back, Lance asked aloud, "What's taking him so long?"
"Dunno."
Then something flashed, and Pietro came riding down the aisle, on Evan's skateboard. "I got it!" he cackled. Then he fell off the skateboard.
"Ha ha!"
"Oh, shut up!"
"Hey, Pietro," asked Kitty. "What's that in your hand?"
"What, this?" Pietro held up a video camera. "I just made a home movie or two."
"What do you mean by 'home movie'?" asked Gambit, shivering ever so slightly. "Hey, you up there!" he called to the driver. "Can't you turn up the heat?"
"No need to," came the reply. "I was watching you earlier, and you seemed to be turning up the heat all by yourself."
"Meaning?"
"Just drop it, Gambit," interrupted Rogue. "I want to see these 'home movies' of Pietro's!"
"Is there a TV around?" asked Pietro.
"There's two, one in the large boy's stomach, and another up front. Take your pick," called the driver.
"All right!" called Pyro, recovering slightly after his unpatriotic bet. "Let's get this show on the road!"
"We are on the road," replied Colossus.
"You know what I mean!"
"Everyone ready?" asked Pietro, putting the video in the VCR. "I must warn you though, what you are about to see will both amaze and disturb you. Are there any children or pregnant women in the audience?"
"Just play the damn tape!"
"But what about Kitty?" asked Lance.
"What about Kitty?"
"She should not be subjected to this kind of punishment. I know what Pietro's home movies are like, and it is wrong to make her watch this!"
"Okay, then," said Pietro. "It's my turn, and I dare you all to watch this video."
"No fair!"
"Oh, this'll be good," crowed Pyro.
"Let the marvel begin!" announced Pietro.
The video began to play. "Your camera work is really bad, Pietro!" shouted someone.
"So?!"
"Just shut up and watch the damn thing!"
The viewpoint then panned to a doorway, which revealed Evan. But, it was not normal Evan. He was sitting in the Professor's spare wheel-chair, and. . .
"Is that an afro on his head?"
Yes, there was. And that is not all that was happening. You see, Evan was singing. And the song went something like this.
"I was gonna save the world, but then I got high
Was gonna pay for the jet's repair, but then I got high
Now I'm a paraplegic, and I know why
Hey, hey
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high."
"Is he singing 'Because I got high'?"
"I'm afraid so."
"But those aren't the words, aren't they?"
"They're his own creation," said Pietro, grinning like the cat that had got the cream. Which he might have stolen en route back to the bus.
On the screen, Evan finished spinning around on the wheelchair, and continued his song. ". . . Now I'm a bald telepath, and I know why
Hey, hey
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high."
"Evan?! What are you doing?" asked a voice on screen.
"Aunty O!" cried Evan, falling off his wheelchair. "I was just. . ."
"I don't want to hear it, Evan. We are going to see Professor Xavier right now!"
"But it. . ."
"You know the rules about drugs in the Institute. And an afro is almost as bad. I know your Dennis Rodman style haircut isn't the best in the world, but at least you're in this decade!"
Everyone laughed as they watched Evan get dragged out of the room, and the screen was now filled with Pietro's face. "I wonder what else is going on in Bayville?"
Just then, Kurt sat up from his stupor, and asked, "Where is Wanda? Hey! What is she doing, floating outside the window?" Then he fell over again.
"Who was the genius who got the elf drunk?"
"That was Wanda. Speaking of Wanda," asked Jean. "Where is she?"
"She went to the bathroom, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. But what is taking her so long?"
"Dunno. Maybe one of us should go and check?"
"Not me!"
"Nor me!"
"Pietro, you go!"
"Why me?!"
"Because you're her brother!" answered Lance.
"But that's why I shouldn't go!"
"Just do it! You can get away fast enough, anyway," added Rogue.
"True." But no matter how fast Pietro could run, he was walking at a shockingly slow pace to the bathroom.
"Wanda?" he asked, knocking on the door. "Are you all right?"
When there was no reply, he knocked on the door, putting a lot more force behind it. The door swung open.
"Wanda?!"