Random Insanity of an HP Humor Fic (10/?)
Keywords: random, insanity, of, an, hp, humor, fic, harry, Hermione, star wars, clones
(A/N: The huge chapter we've all been waiting for.isn't really that huge, but still.)
Summary: A parody of Attack of the Clones, except with Harry Potter characters. And wands instead of lightsabers. Insanity galore.
The snippet from the last chapter was false, as I decided to make this one a little more serious.
(Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling (HP #5 release date = 06/21! Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, LucasArts, etc. So does the script, sorta.)
(The clones are clones of Lucius Malfoy.)
A long time ago, in a country far, far away.
*CUE STAR WARS THEME MUSIC*
INSANE WARS EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE PIES
There is unrest in the Wizard Senate. Several thousand people have declared their intentions to leave the side of the Aurors.
This separatist movement, under the leadership of Count Flitwick, has made it difficult for the limited number of certain students currently in their sixth years at Hogwarts to maintain peace and order in the country.
Senator Hermione is returning to the Wizard Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE AURORS to assist the overwhelmed students.
PAN UP to reveal the amber city of Hog End. (A/N: Name stolen from LOTR, sorta.)
Two small airplanes (with riders) fly OVER CAMERA toward the planet, followed by a large cruiser and one more 'plane pilot.
------
SCENE: INTERIOR CRUISER-DAWN
Two SECURITY OFFICERS and one of SENATOR HERMIONE's best friends (Ron) address the SENATOR as the Cruiser nears the planet.
Ron: Senator, we're making our final approach in to Hog End. Senator Hermione: Very good, Ron.
-------
Suddenly, the cruiser exploded, and the Hermione in there turned out to be a decoy. FAST FORWARD TO BEGINNING OF WAR AGAINST VOLDIE, YO.
A bunch of droids from the real movie suddenly came in and began firing their blasters at the Aurors.
Harry, Sirius, and a bunch of other Aurors took out their wands and a bunch of advanced curses suddenly came out and the droids were knocked back, some of them destroyed. Suddenly, Anakin (From the real movie) came in, ignited his lightsaber, and sliced half of the droids in half with one hand.
Harry: Nice moves. Anakin: Thanks.
Suddenly, about 500 Jedi came out and ignited their lightsabers, deflecting the blaster shots back at the droids.
Flitwick signaled, and thousands of droids started to pour into the arena. (Harry, Hermione, and Sirius were to be executed in that arena, but they evaded it.)
The battle continues, and many Jedi, Aurors, and droids fall. Suddenly, six gunships are descending toward the arena. Dumbledore appears at the door of one of the gunships, signaling for the gunships to create a perimeter around the survivors. The remaining Aurors and Jedi scramble into the gunships.
-----
Flitwick, Dooku, Poggle, etc. are in a control room, gaping at how many stormtroopers suddenly arrived.
----
The gunships land near where a bunch of starships (that look very much like the Death Star) are. They fire at the starships, and one of them explodes. Suddenly, Flitwick zooms past in a Firebolt. As the gunship Harry and Hermione are on go toward Flitwick, Hermione and one of the clones fall out because of a sand dune the gunship hit.
The gunship finally reaches Flitwick's hangar. Sirius and Harry (equipped with lightsabers) run inside the tower.
A clone suddenly gawked, and began dancing like a chicken.
Suddenly, the hangar exploded, with Sirius and Harry smacking Flitwick backwards with their lightsabers. Suddenly, Dumbledore came out and effectively cut up Flitwick's ship, ruining any chance for a sequel to this chapter! Harry's left arm suddenly came off at the elbow, restoring the chance for a sequel to this chapter. ------
Flitwick appeared in Hog End, talking with Darth Sidious (Voldemort).
------
Dumbledore, Finnigan, and Black all speak about the Clone War. Black says that it was a victory, but Dumbledore states that it was not a victory, and that the Great Clone War has begun.
------
SCENE: LAKE RETREAT, HOGWARTS, LODGE, GARDEN-LATE DAY
In a rose-covered arbor overlooking the sparkling lake, Harry and Hermione stand before a Hogwarts holy man.
(A/N: I'm taking this from the script of Star Wars Episode II, so blame me if it doesn't make sense.wait, it's not supposed to.)
Fourpio and Arthree stand by, watching, as the holy man blesses the happy couple (did I tell you they were dating before?) and, amid gently falling rose petals, Harry and Hermione kiss.
Which means that all us H/H shippers' dreams come true.
(A/N: I have something against H/G shippys.)
Which caused Episode IV to come into view. Except Harry wouldn't turn evil.
Finnigan would.
And, of course, the Potters would be there to stop him.
Hopefully.
But what if they weren't?
Then all hell would break loose.
We hope that doesn't happen.
Because if it does.
We'll be there to stop it.
TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE III.
(A/N: Did this make sense? What, it didn't? Good!
REVIEW ANSWERS! WOO!
Chickabiddy: =|
ElijahWoodLuver304: What little fights? O_o
(See y'all next chapter!)
Ooh, look at the pretty purple button in the corner that says "Submit Review!"
Press it! Please?
You will? Yay!
What? You won't? BUT I WANT MORE REVIEWS! (I want 27 reviews total before I finish the next chapter! And that might take a while.) Ooh, what does this button do? *presses it, causing huge explosion to blow up Iraq* Oopsies. Uh, I think I'm dragging this way too far.
Now to do the "Next Chapter" preview!
Okay?
NEXT CHAPTER:
"But what happened to you?" Harry said.
"I don't know, dammit!" Kuririn replied.
Hermione piped in timidly, "Can you guys stop arguing, please?"
"Okaaay." Harry and Kuririn said in unison.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE FLIGHT OF THE FOOL
OR
THE LORD OF THE PINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE PING
Woo!
Keywords: random, insanity, of, an, hp, humor, fic, harry, Hermione, star wars, clones
(A/N: The huge chapter we've all been waiting for.isn't really that huge, but still.)
Summary: A parody of Attack of the Clones, except with Harry Potter characters. And wands instead of lightsabers. Insanity galore.
The snippet from the last chapter was false, as I decided to make this one a little more serious.
(Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling (HP #5 release date = 06/21! Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, LucasArts, etc. So does the script, sorta.)
(The clones are clones of Lucius Malfoy.)
A long time ago, in a country far, far away.
*CUE STAR WARS THEME MUSIC*
INSANE WARS EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE PIES
There is unrest in the Wizard Senate. Several thousand people have declared their intentions to leave the side of the Aurors.
This separatist movement, under the leadership of Count Flitwick, has made it difficult for the limited number of certain students currently in their sixth years at Hogwarts to maintain peace and order in the country.
Senator Hermione is returning to the Wizard Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE AURORS to assist the overwhelmed students.
PAN UP to reveal the amber city of Hog End. (A/N: Name stolen from LOTR, sorta.)
Two small airplanes (with riders) fly OVER CAMERA toward the planet, followed by a large cruiser and one more 'plane pilot.
------
SCENE: INTERIOR CRUISER-DAWN
Two SECURITY OFFICERS and one of SENATOR HERMIONE's best friends (Ron) address the SENATOR as the Cruiser nears the planet.
Ron: Senator, we're making our final approach in to Hog End. Senator Hermione: Very good, Ron.
-------
Suddenly, the cruiser exploded, and the Hermione in there turned out to be a decoy. FAST FORWARD TO BEGINNING OF WAR AGAINST VOLDIE, YO.
A bunch of droids from the real movie suddenly came in and began firing their blasters at the Aurors.
Harry, Sirius, and a bunch of other Aurors took out their wands and a bunch of advanced curses suddenly came out and the droids were knocked back, some of them destroyed. Suddenly, Anakin (From the real movie) came in, ignited his lightsaber, and sliced half of the droids in half with one hand.
Harry: Nice moves. Anakin: Thanks.
Suddenly, about 500 Jedi came out and ignited their lightsabers, deflecting the blaster shots back at the droids.
Flitwick signaled, and thousands of droids started to pour into the arena. (Harry, Hermione, and Sirius were to be executed in that arena, but they evaded it.)
The battle continues, and many Jedi, Aurors, and droids fall. Suddenly, six gunships are descending toward the arena. Dumbledore appears at the door of one of the gunships, signaling for the gunships to create a perimeter around the survivors. The remaining Aurors and Jedi scramble into the gunships.
-----
Flitwick, Dooku, Poggle, etc. are in a control room, gaping at how many stormtroopers suddenly arrived.
----
The gunships land near where a bunch of starships (that look very much like the Death Star) are. They fire at the starships, and one of them explodes. Suddenly, Flitwick zooms past in a Firebolt. As the gunship Harry and Hermione are on go toward Flitwick, Hermione and one of the clones fall out because of a sand dune the gunship hit.
The gunship finally reaches Flitwick's hangar. Sirius and Harry (equipped with lightsabers) run inside the tower.
A clone suddenly gawked, and began dancing like a chicken.
Suddenly, the hangar exploded, with Sirius and Harry smacking Flitwick backwards with their lightsabers. Suddenly, Dumbledore came out and effectively cut up Flitwick's ship, ruining any chance for a sequel to this chapter! Harry's left arm suddenly came off at the elbow, restoring the chance for a sequel to this chapter. ------
Flitwick appeared in Hog End, talking with Darth Sidious (Voldemort).
------
Dumbledore, Finnigan, and Black all speak about the Clone War. Black says that it was a victory, but Dumbledore states that it was not a victory, and that the Great Clone War has begun.
------
SCENE: LAKE RETREAT, HOGWARTS, LODGE, GARDEN-LATE DAY
In a rose-covered arbor overlooking the sparkling lake, Harry and Hermione stand before a Hogwarts holy man.
(A/N: I'm taking this from the script of Star Wars Episode II, so blame me if it doesn't make sense.wait, it's not supposed to.)
Fourpio and Arthree stand by, watching, as the holy man blesses the happy couple (did I tell you they were dating before?) and, amid gently falling rose petals, Harry and Hermione kiss.
Which means that all us H/H shippers' dreams come true.
(A/N: I have something against H/G shippys.)
Which caused Episode IV to come into view. Except Harry wouldn't turn evil.
Finnigan would.
And, of course, the Potters would be there to stop him.
Hopefully.
But what if they weren't?
Then all hell would break loose.
We hope that doesn't happen.
Because if it does.
We'll be there to stop it.
TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE III.
(A/N: Did this make sense? What, it didn't? Good!
REVIEW ANSWERS! WOO!
Chickabiddy: =|
ElijahWoodLuver304: What little fights? O_o
(See y'all next chapter!)
Ooh, look at the pretty purple button in the corner that says "Submit Review!"
Press it! Please?
You will? Yay!
What? You won't? BUT I WANT MORE REVIEWS! (I want 27 reviews total before I finish the next chapter! And that might take a while.) Ooh, what does this button do? *presses it, causing huge explosion to blow up Iraq* Oopsies. Uh, I think I'm dragging this way too far.
Now to do the "Next Chapter" preview!
Okay?
NEXT CHAPTER:
"But what happened to you?" Harry said.
"I don't know, dammit!" Kuririn replied.
Hermione piped in timidly, "Can you guys stop arguing, please?"
"Okaaay." Harry and Kuririn said in unison.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE FLIGHT OF THE FOOL
OR
THE LORD OF THE PINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE PING
Woo!