In Repair; Chapter 3: "Feathers."
First and foremost - Yes, I am female. What a surprise.
Wow! People really seem to be enjoying the fic! I feel...accomplished? Maybe. For now, THE ANSWER TO THE CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM. Excuse the long time waiting; school, writer's block, and other things like to fling themselves at me. Ugh.
Lyrics used at the beginning and end of the chapter come from Tool's song "H". That band is THE Muse for my slash ficiton.
kaze-sui, the fangirl who wouldn't let me get lazy: Steve: -gets poked with stick- I feel so violated.
A Ballerina Bunny Girl-Akari: Cliffhangers were invented to make people hate them. Kinda like wasps.
Battosai Yuriko: Shhh! You're not supposed to know my master plan!
DallysGirl4Life: Feel free to use the devil girl idea! ^_^
Joce: -gasp!- HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Are you a ninja? :3
And to all my other reviewers:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away, I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me...
"J...j...." Pony's voice gurgled as it caught in his throat, grey-green eyes wide as the moon. It was a dream, it had to be. But...it felt so real...
"Heh." A small grin came from the one before him. Pony tried to study what he was seeing.
Before him stood the boy he was in love with; in his traditional blue jeans and jean jacket, black t-shirt taunt against his small frame. Soft, deep brown eyes closed ever so slightly as he grinned; black hair heavily greased. What was different about the sight was the pale, whitish glow, the kind Pony had always read in books, the kind angels have...
"Johnny! Wha?!" Pony was going out his mind with confusion and cluttered feelings. The dead sixteen year old just held up his right hand, stopping Pony's words in his mouth.
"I'll explain." That same, gentle, quiet voice Pony had heard in the park. It echoed in the darkness, etheral, like a ghost passing through the barrier between living and dead. Pony silenced himself, letting the dream speak. Still, the boy couldn't understand what he was seeing; was this an inner fantasy? It had to be; ghosts and angels didn't exist. Never have, and never will.
Johnny's soft, gentle smile never left his tanned face as he explained, the etheral, echoing voice rang through the darkness, clear and loud. "Me and Dal, we see you guys all the time. We know what each of you are feeling, thinking, and wanting. Fearing. Hurting inside about." Pony flinched, but Johnny continued nonetheless, "You don't see us, but we see you. We're always there, watching you. We can't be heard, seen, or smelled. We're...well, ghosts, I guess. If that's what you wanna call us."
Ponyboy stood there, confused. His brain tried to register this, and Johnny just smiled more, knowing he didn't believe him.
"I know you're in love with me." The black-haired boy stated.
Pony looked at him. Johnny just kept that soft, soothing smile, dark brown eyes resting on the fourteen year old before him. "And I know, you need to tell me before you can move on. So, best do it now, huh?"
The auburn-haired greaser was stunned. This wasn't real, it was a dream. A dream, and if he wished it away, it would end. He wanted to cry; Johnny was there, but he knew it couldn't be real. The dark skinned boy frowned, noticing this inner turmoil, and came closer to Pony. Reaching out without hesitating, he placed a rough hand on the younger boy's soft cheek, stroking it with his thumb. The younger boy stopped thinking; he just stared at Johnny.
"Ponyboy...I love you too." Pony made a small noise in his throat, and Johnny leaned forward to kiss the younger boy softly. Pony whimpered; Johnny's lips tasted so sweet...he moved his tongue out to gently taste Johnny's lips, and to his dissapointment, the black haired boy pulled away.
"Johnny..." Pony swallowed hard; all the pent up emotion and unrequinted love was starting to stream from his eyes in glistening tears. Johnny's face no longer held a smile, but a expression of sadness; his face still close to Pony's, his dark brown eyes were locked onto Pony's pale green ones. Raising a tanned hand, he gently brushed the tears from his eyes.
"Don't cry...that's not what I came to do..." but Pony only cried more, and grabbed Johnny, burying his face in the older boy's black t-shirt, whimpering and cursing. Johnny stroked the younger boy's hair as he cried, his black eyes full of a sorrow that made his face harden. He held Pony against him, face buried in the soft auburn hair.
"Why? Why won't you let me kiss you?" Pony's voice was weak and breaking. "Johnny, please..."
"Because...you need to find someone else..."
Pony clutched onto Johnny, his tears subsided. Eyes still closed, he listened for Johnny's heartbeat; he'd always dreamed about lying against Johnny, listening to the gentle sound of his heart. But, he could not hear anything within the older boy's lithe frame. He glanced up at the older boy, who was looking down at Pony.
"Johnny...you...what are you..."
The pale glow that had surrounded Johnny before and illuminated both boys intensified, as from Johnny's jean-covered back sprang a mass of radiant white light. Pony shielded his eyes, then as the glow died down, he made out the outspread shape. Wide, and covered in soft, downy feathers, one sprouting from each side of Johnny's back. His words caught in his throat.
"...A...a...a..." Pony couldn't form the words. All he could do was point, bewildered, at the feathery appendages.
"Angel." Johnny said simply, folding the wings inwards so they rested behind his back. Pony couldn't believe his eyes. This definately WAS a dream!
"Pony." Johnny's voice was hard and serious; a very rare thing for the timid boy, "You need to move on; there are people all around you who want you to, and know you can. I hoped I wouldn't have to come and tell you it myself, but..." he sighed, "as much as I wish I could stay with you, like this, forever, I can't...ya gotta move on."
Pony shook his head. "Johnny, no! I won't! I can't! Not while your standing here, as real as ever! Please!" His voice cracked, starting to cry again, "Please!"
Johnny's face went bleak, a helpless look upon it. Pony's insides turned icy; the feeling was so strong, it had to be real.
"There's someone else who wants you to love them...that's all I can say. They're close, but when you find out, it'll be strange to you...please, be with them." Johnny's voice even sounded weak and helpless. Pony ran to clutch onto the boy again, never wanting him to go.
"Johnny, no! Don't leave me again!"
The last thing he saw was the tear-streaked face of Johnny.
And he was smiling.
-------
It was late that night, and not even school, a movie, and at least six smokes could calm his nerves. This, being his seventh smoke, and the clear image of Johnny's smiling face was plastered inside Pony's mind. He couldn't understand it still; was it a dream? Had it really happened? It all seemed so strange, and as he took a long drag on his slowly dying cigarette, he let his mind think. He hadn't had much time to do so since he'd gotten up late this morning, rushed to school, went out to the movies with a very drunk Two-Bit, and rushed home to do his piles of homework.
Pony watched the small wisps of smoke from the burning cirgarette dissolve into the air, curling and dancing, then dissapearing...and he thought, what had Johnny meant? He knew he had to move on; but...someone love him? Now? This very minute someone was thinking about him, Pony thought. And his curiousity grew even stronger.
His mind was rudely awakened by footsteps coming from behind him. He'd been waiting for Soda to come home from girl-hunting with Steve, but maybe it was Darry, since the footsteps sounded like shoes, and Soda hated to wear those. Turning his reddish brown head, he looked over his left shoulder at the shadow standing in the lit doorway.
It was Steve. Pony furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but Steve said nothing and sat down next to him. Pony just shrugged, thinking that maybe the swirly haired greaser just wanted some fresh air. Putting out his cigarette, Pony started to stand up to go inside, when he felt a hand grab the corner of his shirt.
"Pony. Stay." Steve's voice was cold, but Pony, curious, sat down again.
"What?" Pony didn't want to look at Steve; he was afraid he'd see that same strange glint in the brown eyes of the seventeen year old.
It wasn't even a second, and Pony was being crushed in the warm, muscular arms of Steven Randle. He struggled, unsure of what was going on, and whimpered as he felt the warm, salty taste of Steve's lips upon his own. He struggled, and Steve held him closer, and Pony felt Steve's hard, taunt muscules beneath his tight blue t-shirt. It was then he felt Steve groping him, feeling his slender body with his rough, oil-stained hands. He thrashed, and bit down hard on Steve's bottom lip, drawing blood. But still, Steve held him close, hands running over Pony's body, and through his rusty hair.
And then something in Pony's fearful mind clicked.
The glint in Steve's eyes that he'd seen numerous times. What Johnny had meant by someone loving him.
He understood now.
No longer struggling, he leaned into the older boy, letting his tongue into his mouth for a deeper kiss. He let his own hands wander over Steve's shoulders and back, and tried to enjoy this moment. Moaning softly, Steve drew him into his lap, tongue massaging against the younger boy's.
He needed to move on.
-------
And then, somewhere far away, perched on a building top, there sat a angel-winged boy, and a smoking hoodlum deep in conversation, surveying the scene from a good distance...
"So, didja get through to him?" Johnny's soft voice asked Dally, smiling widely as he felt Pony's happiness at that moment.
Dally flicked a half-burned cigarette out of his hands, and laughed grimly. "His head was too far up his ass for him to get me, but I guess he decided to take it out and listen." A red, forked tail flicked out to point in the direction of the Curtis' house. "And from the way things are goin', I'd think he got the message just fine."
With a mutual laugh, the tanned angel and the white haired devil dissapeared from their spot on the rooftop.
And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, there will be more chapters. Even if this does make a good ending...
Reviewers! What did you think?! I know, half-assed job on this fic. School and all... -.-
First and foremost - Yes, I am female. What a surprise.
Wow! People really seem to be enjoying the fic! I feel...accomplished? Maybe. For now, THE ANSWER TO THE CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM. Excuse the long time waiting; school, writer's block, and other things like to fling themselves at me. Ugh.
Lyrics used at the beginning and end of the chapter come from Tool's song "H". That band is THE Muse for my slash ficiton.
kaze-sui, the fangirl who wouldn't let me get lazy: Steve: -gets poked with stick- I feel so violated.
A Ballerina Bunny Girl-Akari: Cliffhangers were invented to make people hate them. Kinda like wasps.
Battosai Yuriko: Shhh! You're not supposed to know my master plan!
DallysGirl4Life: Feel free to use the devil girl idea! ^_^
Joce: -gasp!- HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Are you a ninja? :3
And to all my other reviewers:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away, I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me...
"J...j...." Pony's voice gurgled as it caught in his throat, grey-green eyes wide as the moon. It was a dream, it had to be. But...it felt so real...
"Heh." A small grin came from the one before him. Pony tried to study what he was seeing.
Before him stood the boy he was in love with; in his traditional blue jeans and jean jacket, black t-shirt taunt against his small frame. Soft, deep brown eyes closed ever so slightly as he grinned; black hair heavily greased. What was different about the sight was the pale, whitish glow, the kind Pony had always read in books, the kind angels have...
"Johnny! Wha?!" Pony was going out his mind with confusion and cluttered feelings. The dead sixteen year old just held up his right hand, stopping Pony's words in his mouth.
"I'll explain." That same, gentle, quiet voice Pony had heard in the park. It echoed in the darkness, etheral, like a ghost passing through the barrier between living and dead. Pony silenced himself, letting the dream speak. Still, the boy couldn't understand what he was seeing; was this an inner fantasy? It had to be; ghosts and angels didn't exist. Never have, and never will.
Johnny's soft, gentle smile never left his tanned face as he explained, the etheral, echoing voice rang through the darkness, clear and loud. "Me and Dal, we see you guys all the time. We know what each of you are feeling, thinking, and wanting. Fearing. Hurting inside about." Pony flinched, but Johnny continued nonetheless, "You don't see us, but we see you. We're always there, watching you. We can't be heard, seen, or smelled. We're...well, ghosts, I guess. If that's what you wanna call us."
Ponyboy stood there, confused. His brain tried to register this, and Johnny just smiled more, knowing he didn't believe him.
"I know you're in love with me." The black-haired boy stated.
Pony looked at him. Johnny just kept that soft, soothing smile, dark brown eyes resting on the fourteen year old before him. "And I know, you need to tell me before you can move on. So, best do it now, huh?"
The auburn-haired greaser was stunned. This wasn't real, it was a dream. A dream, and if he wished it away, it would end. He wanted to cry; Johnny was there, but he knew it couldn't be real. The dark skinned boy frowned, noticing this inner turmoil, and came closer to Pony. Reaching out without hesitating, he placed a rough hand on the younger boy's soft cheek, stroking it with his thumb. The younger boy stopped thinking; he just stared at Johnny.
"Ponyboy...I love you too." Pony made a small noise in his throat, and Johnny leaned forward to kiss the younger boy softly. Pony whimpered; Johnny's lips tasted so sweet...he moved his tongue out to gently taste Johnny's lips, and to his dissapointment, the black haired boy pulled away.
"Johnny..." Pony swallowed hard; all the pent up emotion and unrequinted love was starting to stream from his eyes in glistening tears. Johnny's face no longer held a smile, but a expression of sadness; his face still close to Pony's, his dark brown eyes were locked onto Pony's pale green ones. Raising a tanned hand, he gently brushed the tears from his eyes.
"Don't cry...that's not what I came to do..." but Pony only cried more, and grabbed Johnny, burying his face in the older boy's black t-shirt, whimpering and cursing. Johnny stroked the younger boy's hair as he cried, his black eyes full of a sorrow that made his face harden. He held Pony against him, face buried in the soft auburn hair.
"Why? Why won't you let me kiss you?" Pony's voice was weak and breaking. "Johnny, please..."
"Because...you need to find someone else..."
Pony clutched onto Johnny, his tears subsided. Eyes still closed, he listened for Johnny's heartbeat; he'd always dreamed about lying against Johnny, listening to the gentle sound of his heart. But, he could not hear anything within the older boy's lithe frame. He glanced up at the older boy, who was looking down at Pony.
"Johnny...you...what are you..."
The pale glow that had surrounded Johnny before and illuminated both boys intensified, as from Johnny's jean-covered back sprang a mass of radiant white light. Pony shielded his eyes, then as the glow died down, he made out the outspread shape. Wide, and covered in soft, downy feathers, one sprouting from each side of Johnny's back. His words caught in his throat.
"...A...a...a..." Pony couldn't form the words. All he could do was point, bewildered, at the feathery appendages.
"Angel." Johnny said simply, folding the wings inwards so they rested behind his back. Pony couldn't believe his eyes. This definately WAS a dream!
"Pony." Johnny's voice was hard and serious; a very rare thing for the timid boy, "You need to move on; there are people all around you who want you to, and know you can. I hoped I wouldn't have to come and tell you it myself, but..." he sighed, "as much as I wish I could stay with you, like this, forever, I can't...ya gotta move on."
Pony shook his head. "Johnny, no! I won't! I can't! Not while your standing here, as real as ever! Please!" His voice cracked, starting to cry again, "Please!"
Johnny's face went bleak, a helpless look upon it. Pony's insides turned icy; the feeling was so strong, it had to be real.
"There's someone else who wants you to love them...that's all I can say. They're close, but when you find out, it'll be strange to you...please, be with them." Johnny's voice even sounded weak and helpless. Pony ran to clutch onto the boy again, never wanting him to go.
"Johnny, no! Don't leave me again!"
The last thing he saw was the tear-streaked face of Johnny.
And he was smiling.
-------
It was late that night, and not even school, a movie, and at least six smokes could calm his nerves. This, being his seventh smoke, and the clear image of Johnny's smiling face was plastered inside Pony's mind. He couldn't understand it still; was it a dream? Had it really happened? It all seemed so strange, and as he took a long drag on his slowly dying cigarette, he let his mind think. He hadn't had much time to do so since he'd gotten up late this morning, rushed to school, went out to the movies with a very drunk Two-Bit, and rushed home to do his piles of homework.
Pony watched the small wisps of smoke from the burning cirgarette dissolve into the air, curling and dancing, then dissapearing...and he thought, what had Johnny meant? He knew he had to move on; but...someone love him? Now? This very minute someone was thinking about him, Pony thought. And his curiousity grew even stronger.
His mind was rudely awakened by footsteps coming from behind him. He'd been waiting for Soda to come home from girl-hunting with Steve, but maybe it was Darry, since the footsteps sounded like shoes, and Soda hated to wear those. Turning his reddish brown head, he looked over his left shoulder at the shadow standing in the lit doorway.
It was Steve. Pony furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but Steve said nothing and sat down next to him. Pony just shrugged, thinking that maybe the swirly haired greaser just wanted some fresh air. Putting out his cigarette, Pony started to stand up to go inside, when he felt a hand grab the corner of his shirt.
"Pony. Stay." Steve's voice was cold, but Pony, curious, sat down again.
"What?" Pony didn't want to look at Steve; he was afraid he'd see that same strange glint in the brown eyes of the seventeen year old.
It wasn't even a second, and Pony was being crushed in the warm, muscular arms of Steven Randle. He struggled, unsure of what was going on, and whimpered as he felt the warm, salty taste of Steve's lips upon his own. He struggled, and Steve held him closer, and Pony felt Steve's hard, taunt muscules beneath his tight blue t-shirt. It was then he felt Steve groping him, feeling his slender body with his rough, oil-stained hands. He thrashed, and bit down hard on Steve's bottom lip, drawing blood. But still, Steve held him close, hands running over Pony's body, and through his rusty hair.
And then something in Pony's fearful mind clicked.
The glint in Steve's eyes that he'd seen numerous times. What Johnny had meant by someone loving him.
He understood now.
No longer struggling, he leaned into the older boy, letting his tongue into his mouth for a deeper kiss. He let his own hands wander over Steve's shoulders and back, and tried to enjoy this moment. Moaning softly, Steve drew him into his lap, tongue massaging against the younger boy's.
He needed to move on.
-------
And then, somewhere far away, perched on a building top, there sat a angel-winged boy, and a smoking hoodlum deep in conversation, surveying the scene from a good distance...
"So, didja get through to him?" Johnny's soft voice asked Dally, smiling widely as he felt Pony's happiness at that moment.
Dally flicked a half-burned cigarette out of his hands, and laughed grimly. "His head was too far up his ass for him to get me, but I guess he decided to take it out and listen." A red, forked tail flicked out to point in the direction of the Curtis' house. "And from the way things are goin', I'd think he got the message just fine."
With a mutual laugh, the tanned angel and the white haired devil dissapeared from their spot on the rooftop.
And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, there will be more chapters. Even if this does make a good ending...
Reviewers! What did you think?! I know, half-assed job on this fic. School and all... -.-