Random Insanity From An HP Humor Fic Author (12/20)
(A/N: My DSL's router committed suicide, so it took me a long while to upload this. Sorry. ^_^
On a good note, this is my first offline chapter! Ain't that a hoot?
Also, if you hadn't guessed it by the chapter number a couple of lines ago, I'm ending this fanfic at chapter 20. Why, you ask? It's because I need to start typing other fanfics. My next fanfic will probably be a DBZ/HP crossover, a LOZ/LOTR crossover, or an HP/LOTR crossover. The categories'll probably be Humor/Romance, Romance/Parody, Humor/Parody, or Romance/Angst.
I haven't decided yet, but I've narrowed it down to those 3 choices. After that fanfic, I'm going to type a DBZ fic, then an HP one. The DBZ one will be a one-chapter humor fic, and the HP one's going to be a short humor/romance one, probably 2 chapters long.
Disclaimer: Meh.)
CHAPTER XII
THE WIND SLEEPER
Part I: Introduction
*FLASHBACK* Hijink I: Die. Wanondork died. *END FLASHBACK*
And so, Hijink had defeated Wanondork after getting the Piccolo of Cheese. One hundred million kajillion mamillion bififfillion years later, some random kid, also named Hijink, wore said Hijink's clothes (were they washed?) on his 12th birthday.
He got a shield and some sword, and put 'em to use. Then a flying shoe kidnapped his sister, who was named Slippyslideperson. Then Hijink got sent across the planet when the shoe kicked him. After that, Hijink just got all these weird weapons. (This part begins before the final battle.) Kinda odd backstory, don't ya think?
Suddenly, Hijink and Slippyslideperson appeared in Washington, D.C. again (they'd been there in 2000), where they were almost searched by the police there until Link cut 'em up. Suddenly, Bush's face appeared over the entire planet, ordering them to send all of their oil to the White House!
Hijink XXXIX: Damn, that guy's a fecking dictator now.
Slippyslideperson: Tell me about it.
Hijink: Oh well, now to abide by the author's wishes and bash Bush.
Kuririn: By bash, Mr. "I'm-a-parody-of-a-video-game-character", I meant "make fun of", not "beat the hell out of."
Hijink: Aww. You ruin my fun.
Kuririn: Good for me.
----------
We interrupt this program to give you a very important announcement!
Kuririn: If you are offended by my semi-childish bashing of Bush, skip this part and go on to the next. I shall mark the parts. Thank you.
----------
Part II: The Bashing of the Bush II
Hijink: Hey Bush, have you had people pee on you!
Kuririn, Hijink, Slippyslideperson: Ahahahah!
Bush: Grr...Secret Service! GET THEM!
Kuririn and Hijink: Bring it on.
The Secret Service ran at Kuririn 'n' Hijink, who both took out their swords (not THOSE ones, you perverts!) and smacked the SS in the face with 'em. The entire SS fell down, unconscious.
Bush: Er...
Kuririn: Give up, Mr. "Iraq has WMD, the US doesn't?"
Bush: Yes, mister. Spare me!
Audience: AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Bush: Hey! There were people watching that?!
All (minus Bush) Duh!
----------
Hermione: I like cheeses.
Harry: As do I. Let us make out, Hermione, my love.
They did so.
Ron: I like pies.
Lavender and Ginny: As do we.
Ron: Let us all make out and/or do something that would only be typed in an R-rated and/or NC-17-rated fanfic!
They did the smut scene, complete with censor line thangs.
----------
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Hijink: You two have too much free time.
Suddenly, the scene cuts forward to 2004, where Bush is voted out of the presidency by 290,000,000 votes to Bill McGore, the biggest presidential election loss since Ronald Reagan got shot by the Democratic candidate, but that'd bring up controversy, because the president in 2004 would be a Democrat!
----------
McGore: Hi, people!
People: Hi!
McGore: How y'all doing?
People: Fine!
McGore: That's good to know. What'd you do this weekend?
People: *silent*
Random Person: I went to Japan!
Other Person: Hush!
McGore: Yay.
----------
Part III: The Randomness and Kuririn Making Out with Someone
Kuririn: Am I that insane?
Hijink: Yup.
Slippyslideperson: I love you, Kuririn! Let us make out!
Kuririn: Okay!
Slippyslideperson and Hijink made out in a closet somewhere, and weren't found 'till some person stumbled upon them.
(A/N: I have WAY too much time on my hands.)
Kuririn: I do? *goes back to making out with Hijink's sister*
(A/N: Yup.)
Suddenly, Hijink burst into the closet, fuming.
Hijink: Slippyslideperson! You were making out with HIM?!
Slippyslideperson: Duh! Am I not allowed to or something?
Hijink: You are NOT allowed to be making out with...with...HIM!
Kuririn: Was that supposed to be an insult?
Suddenly, Hijink's sister slapped Hijink in the face! (Whee! I'm falling down into the romance category, I am, I am! Now feed me!)
Slippyslideperson: I am in LOVE with Kuririn, if you didn't know, and he's in love with me! You have NO say in what I do!
Kuririn turned away, and it was apparent that he was blushing.
Hijink: Fine, fine. But, Kuririn, if you do ANYTHING that makes her come to me crying, I am going to personally maim and/or kill you. Capiche?
Kuririn: Got it.
Kuririn and Slippyslideperson resumed their wild makeout fest, which involved them grabbing at parts of each other's bodies. And, as if on cue, the *CENSORED* sign covered them.
(A/N: Yay! Now I don't have to raise this to PG-13!)
FF.Net People in White Coats: Oh, yes you do!
(A/N: AAAAH! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HAHA! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY! THE EVIL MEN IN THE LITTLE WHITE COATS, THEY'RE TAKING ME TO A ROOM WITH PADDED WALLS! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HAHA! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!)
Whee. The randomness is just being FUN.
Randomness: I am?
Eyyup. Isn't that cool?
Randomness: Uh-huh.
Do you know how to flip that bowl so that it hits the flying shoe in the face?
Randomness: Yeah, I do.
Good. I have a task force for you. Er, a task.
Randomness: Lemme guess. You have a score to settle with the flying shoe, and I have to do it?
Eyyup.
Randomness: I have no choice otherwise, so oh well. I'll do it.
The Randomness flipped the bowl, and it hit the flying shoe in the face, killing it.
And, as we all know, this had nothing to do with the Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker for th' GCN, except for Part I.
Good for me.
(A/N: Yay! 7 pages, and not a bead of sweat!
No reviews were reviewed, once again, between the posting of Chapter XI and Chapter XII. Good going, you've broken my heart by not reviewing. ;_;
Oh well.
CHAPTER XIII
THE TRANSFORMATION
This next chapter involves wingless flying chickens and my origin story; that is, how I got to be the part-Saiyajin, part-human/wizard, part-cyborg, part-Pokemon I am now from that weak little thang you see in DBZ and/or GT.
Oh, and I have way too much time on my hands, as you see earlier in this chapter of the fic. ^_^
Sayonara!
'Till we meet again!
Ja ne!~
-Kuririn, the Embodiment of Insanity
(A/N: My DSL's router committed suicide, so it took me a long while to upload this. Sorry. ^_^
On a good note, this is my first offline chapter! Ain't that a hoot?
Also, if you hadn't guessed it by the chapter number a couple of lines ago, I'm ending this fanfic at chapter 20. Why, you ask? It's because I need to start typing other fanfics. My next fanfic will probably be a DBZ/HP crossover, a LOZ/LOTR crossover, or an HP/LOTR crossover. The categories'll probably be Humor/Romance, Romance/Parody, Humor/Parody, or Romance/Angst.
I haven't decided yet, but I've narrowed it down to those 3 choices. After that fanfic, I'm going to type a DBZ fic, then an HP one. The DBZ one will be a one-chapter humor fic, and the HP one's going to be a short humor/romance one, probably 2 chapters long.
Disclaimer: Meh.)
CHAPTER XII
THE WIND SLEEPER
Part I: Introduction
*FLASHBACK* Hijink I: Die. Wanondork died. *END FLASHBACK*
And so, Hijink had defeated Wanondork after getting the Piccolo of Cheese. One hundred million kajillion mamillion bififfillion years later, some random kid, also named Hijink, wore said Hijink's clothes (were they washed?) on his 12th birthday.
He got a shield and some sword, and put 'em to use. Then a flying shoe kidnapped his sister, who was named Slippyslideperson. Then Hijink got sent across the planet when the shoe kicked him. After that, Hijink just got all these weird weapons. (This part begins before the final battle.) Kinda odd backstory, don't ya think?
Suddenly, Hijink and Slippyslideperson appeared in Washington, D.C. again (they'd been there in 2000), where they were almost searched by the police there until Link cut 'em up. Suddenly, Bush's face appeared over the entire planet, ordering them to send all of their oil to the White House!
Hijink XXXIX: Damn, that guy's a fecking dictator now.
Slippyslideperson: Tell me about it.
Hijink: Oh well, now to abide by the author's wishes and bash Bush.
Kuririn: By bash, Mr. "I'm-a-parody-of-a-video-game-character", I meant "make fun of", not "beat the hell out of."
Hijink: Aww. You ruin my fun.
Kuririn: Good for me.
----------
We interrupt this program to give you a very important announcement!
Kuririn: If you are offended by my semi-childish bashing of Bush, skip this part and go on to the next. I shall mark the parts. Thank you.
----------
Part II: The Bashing of the Bush II
Hijink: Hey Bush, have you had people pee on you!
Kuririn, Hijink, Slippyslideperson: Ahahahah!
Bush: Grr...Secret Service! GET THEM!
Kuririn and Hijink: Bring it on.
The Secret Service ran at Kuririn 'n' Hijink, who both took out their swords (not THOSE ones, you perverts!) and smacked the SS in the face with 'em. The entire SS fell down, unconscious.
Bush: Er...
Kuririn: Give up, Mr. "Iraq has WMD, the US doesn't?"
Bush: Yes, mister. Spare me!
Audience: AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Bush: Hey! There were people watching that?!
All (minus Bush) Duh!
----------
Hermione: I like cheeses.
Harry: As do I. Let us make out, Hermione, my love.
They did so.
Ron: I like pies.
Lavender and Ginny: As do we.
Ron: Let us all make out and/or do something that would only be typed in an R-rated and/or NC-17-rated fanfic!
They did the smut scene, complete with censor line thangs.
----------
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Kuririn: Why?
Bush: Why?
Hijink: You two have too much free time.
Suddenly, the scene cuts forward to 2004, where Bush is voted out of the presidency by 290,000,000 votes to Bill McGore, the biggest presidential election loss since Ronald Reagan got shot by the Democratic candidate, but that'd bring up controversy, because the president in 2004 would be a Democrat!
----------
McGore: Hi, people!
People: Hi!
McGore: How y'all doing?
People: Fine!
McGore: That's good to know. What'd you do this weekend?
People: *silent*
Random Person: I went to Japan!
Other Person: Hush!
McGore: Yay.
----------
Part III: The Randomness and Kuririn Making Out with Someone
Kuririn: Am I that insane?
Hijink: Yup.
Slippyslideperson: I love you, Kuririn! Let us make out!
Kuririn: Okay!
Slippyslideperson and Hijink made out in a closet somewhere, and weren't found 'till some person stumbled upon them.
(A/N: I have WAY too much time on my hands.)
Kuririn: I do? *goes back to making out with Hijink's sister*
(A/N: Yup.)
Suddenly, Hijink burst into the closet, fuming.
Hijink: Slippyslideperson! You were making out with HIM?!
Slippyslideperson: Duh! Am I not allowed to or something?
Hijink: You are NOT allowed to be making out with...with...HIM!
Kuririn: Was that supposed to be an insult?
Suddenly, Hijink's sister slapped Hijink in the face! (Whee! I'm falling down into the romance category, I am, I am! Now feed me!)
Slippyslideperson: I am in LOVE with Kuririn, if you didn't know, and he's in love with me! You have NO say in what I do!
Kuririn turned away, and it was apparent that he was blushing.
Hijink: Fine, fine. But, Kuririn, if you do ANYTHING that makes her come to me crying, I am going to personally maim and/or kill you. Capiche?
Kuririn: Got it.
Kuririn and Slippyslideperson resumed their wild makeout fest, which involved them grabbing at parts of each other's bodies. And, as if on cue, the *CENSORED* sign covered them.
(A/N: Yay! Now I don't have to raise this to PG-13!)
FF.Net People in White Coats: Oh, yes you do!
(A/N: AAAAH! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HAHA! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY! THE EVIL MEN IN THE LITTLE WHITE COATS, THEY'RE TAKING ME TO A ROOM WITH PADDED WALLS! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HAHA! THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!)
Whee. The randomness is just being FUN.
Randomness: I am?
Eyyup. Isn't that cool?
Randomness: Uh-huh.
Do you know how to flip that bowl so that it hits the flying shoe in the face?
Randomness: Yeah, I do.
Good. I have a task force for you. Er, a task.
Randomness: Lemme guess. You have a score to settle with the flying shoe, and I have to do it?
Eyyup.
Randomness: I have no choice otherwise, so oh well. I'll do it.
The Randomness flipped the bowl, and it hit the flying shoe in the face, killing it.
And, as we all know, this had nothing to do with the Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker for th' GCN, except for Part I.
Good for me.
(A/N: Yay! 7 pages, and not a bead of sweat!
No reviews were reviewed, once again, between the posting of Chapter XI and Chapter XII. Good going, you've broken my heart by not reviewing. ;_;
Oh well.
CHAPTER XIII
THE TRANSFORMATION
This next chapter involves wingless flying chickens and my origin story; that is, how I got to be the part-Saiyajin, part-human/wizard, part-cyborg, part-Pokemon I am now from that weak little thang you see in DBZ and/or GT.
Oh, and I have way too much time on my hands, as you see earlier in this chapter of the fic. ^_^
Sayonara!
'Till we meet again!
Ja ne!~
-Kuririn, the Embodiment of Insanity