The sun was just peeking up over the eastern horizon as
Jason walked along the paths of Angel Grove Cemetery with his daughter.
He'd thought about what Jay had asked him about, what he'd said to him last
night. It was time to move on, time to let go, and live his life again.
"Daddy," Trini Anne squeezed his hand, "Are you all right?" Her midnight eyes spoke volumes to him.
He smiled at her and gently returned the squeeze, "I'm fine, sweetie." Sighing deeply, he looked around, "I was just thinking about your dad."
"Daddy?" she asked, "Why did you bring me along today?" She swallowed, "I mean it's always been a tradition that you come here by yourself today. You know, to visit Dad's grave alone."
He hadn't realized that she'd started to see their yearly ritual as any kind of tradition. Then again, he guessed that was as good a definition of tradition as he'd ever heard. As they rounded the small grove a trees casting long shadows in the morning light, he replied, "Because I think it's time we made a few new traditions for today. One of them is not to be quite so sad today."
"I think maybe Jay would appreciate that," she smiled at him.
Patting her hand, he told her, "I do too." Sighing he eyed his daughter critically. She was blossoming into a very beautiful young woman. She had Billy's honey-blonde hair, hanging long and straight to the small of her back, and his own black eyes. Her complexion was creamy smooth with just a hint of freckling across the bridge of her nose- something else she'd inherited from Billy- that was just starting to turn a few shades darker as the summer wore on. She was tall like him, but had more of a swimmer's build, lacking his own burly girth. All in all, he was very pleased with the results of the procedure he and Billy had traveled to Europe to have done those long years ago. It did after all give him a little piece of Billy left in the world.
"What?" she must have noticed him staring at her smiling.
"I was just thinking about what a beautiful daughter I have, and how lucky I am to have you in my life," he told her. Suddenly feeling tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled her into a tight hug. "You are a very special young lady. You know that, don't you?"
She hugged him back, "I know, I've got a very special dad. That makes it easy."
Pulling out of the hug, he draped an arm around her shoulders as the two headed on toward the headstone at the end of the walkway. He realized that the coming years were going to be the hardest of his life. What the hell do I know about raising a daughter- especially a daughter who was as beautiful as Kat, smart as Billy, talented as Zack, and athletic as me? Then of course, he was her father, so he had to admit his opinion was prejudiced. Still, he was grateful for Kim and Trini's help when it came time to have "the" talk with her. If it weren't for the former yellow and pink rangers, he was sure he would have made a complete mess of things. Like the song says, "there are some things a man just doesn't know."
"Can I ask you a question, Daddy?" Trini asked, her voice suddenly serious as they arrived at the grave.
Looking down, he nodded, "Of course honey."
"Why haven't you gone out with anybody?" She shrugged, "I mean, it's been thirteen years. I don't think Dad would mind." She shook her head, "It's not good for you to be so lonely."
"I'm not lonely, Trini." He smiled, "I've got my friends, and my daughter to keep me from ever being lonely."
She smiled up at him, but he could tell she was unconvinced. As for himself, he wasn't sure. He didn't feel lonely. It was just that after what he and Billy had shared, anything else would seem a pale comparison. Moreover, to be honest with himself, he had to admit that what he'd seen of the gay dating community just wasn't attractive to him. He wanted more out of life than a mindless club scene, shallow psuedo-politics, and superficial relationships. "Well, at least think about it. Okay?"
"Hey what is this? First Jay comes and tells me that Billy wouldn't want me to be sad today, and now you're trying to get me to find some guy to date?" Next thing you know, you two will be setting me up on blind da…," the look of surprise on his daughter's face stopped him dead cold. Something he'd said had surprise her. Reaching out he touched her shoulder and asked quietly, "What honey?"
Seeming to regain her composure, she smiled at him weakly and shook her head. "Nothing."
Knowing his daughter better than to push her, he let it slide for now. She'd eventually bring up what ever it was that had startled her. He smiled and said, "Okay."
For long moments the two of them stood there simply looking at the grave. Jason smiled at the small row of flowers lying at the base of the stone. He could identify which ones were left by which Rangers; roses from Kat and Adam, orchids from the Kim- he smiled to himself thinking of Billy's and Kim's conversations about the fragile flowers- daisies from the Taylors, buttercups from Rocky and Aisha, and a single yellow rose from Tommy- after all these years he was still trying to say, "I'm sorry." Putting down the two red roses, he and Trini had brought, a new flower caught his eye. A single blue rose lay among the others. Jason picked it up and smiled wondering which Ranger had found such a rare flower.
Standing again, he put an arm around his daughter, and hugged her gently. She broke their silence, "I hadn't really thought about who you might go out with, Daddy."
Jason smiled to himself. So that was what had startled her. "Tell you what? What say we go and have breakfast at the IHOP, and we'll talk about it?"
She blushed up at him, "Okay."
Nodding to the blonde girl he said, "Why don't you meet me at the car? I'll be there in a minute."
She smiled at him and turned to leave, "Sure dad."
"Trini," he called to her.
She stopped without turning, "Yeah dad?"
"I know that he's very proud of you," Jason said.
"Thank you dad," she said before heading off.
Waiting for her to get out of earshot, he turned back to the stone, "I don't know if I can do this by myself, Billy. She's growing so fast. I'm just a man, what do I know about prom dresses, gymnastic practice, and particle physics?" He shook his head, "She's really a piece of work, that one. I think you two would have loved each other's company more than you could ever imagine. Kim, Kat and Trini help out a lot, but it's not the same for her. I know she feel's different, and not just because she's the only one of her friends that doesn't have a mom. Sometimes I wonder if that was how you felt growing up. I hope it's not as painful for her as it was for you."
Only the morning wind answered him, not that he expected anything else. Finally, he knelt at the stone, putting his hand out to touch the name on it, and said softly, "I love you." Then without another word, he got up and returned to his car.
Half an hour later, Jason and Trini Anne were sitting down to two plates piled high with Belgium Waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon and a large carafe of orange juice. After a quick grace, the two dug into their breakfast with a gusto that surprised Trini. Looking up between bites, she saw her father staring at her. She knew the look. She knew that he was wanting her tell him whatever it was that was bothering her.
She smiled thinking about her Aunt Kimberly accusing her of keeping her feelings to herself. She called it the "Cranston Way" but Trini knew that she was saying it affectionately. Of course, Trini wouldn't have any idea what the Cranston Way was anyway. It wasn't as if she had any contact with her grandfather from Billy's side of the family. But, she also knew her father, and knew that he wouldn't let the gaff at the cemetery pass. Sighing she said, "I guess when I suggested that you start dating again, I really hadn't thought it through."
Her dad simply smiled at her, "What you mean, is that you thought I might date women."
Blushing, she nodded, "I guess so."
"Not that I'm likely to go out and look for a date any time soon, but I married a man once. If I were to start going out again," he smiled at her, "which to be honest is not very likely, it wouldn't be with a woman."
She looked down, "I guess I know that dad. I guess what I mean is that you don't act like most of the gay men I've known or see on television."
"What should I act like, honey?" he asked her.
She chuckled, "You shouldn't act like anything you're not dad. You just don't fit the stereotype."
"Would it make you feel better if I did?" he smiled at her.
Shaking her head she said, "No! I'm just saying that I guess I hadn't thought this out very far."
"Okay," he smiled. "On to safer subjects; what did you get Jay for his birthday?"
She grinned at him, "The Blue Ranger Action Figure, circa 1993, still in its original box."
Her father whistled, "Where did you ever find that?"
"A yard sale on Spruce Drive," she told him. "There was this older man who was selling his house and was getting rid of a lot of this stuff." She shook her head remembering all the boxes for sale. "He had a whole collection of all the original Power Rangers, complete with 'Zords. I got them all."
She watched a flicker of surprise shoot across her father's face and then disappear behind a glass of orange juice. "1420 Spruce?"
"How'd you know?" she asked suddenly feeling strange.
"Because that was your dad's father's house," he told her. "There's a very good chance that you just bought your dad's old collection," he smiled putting down the glass.
Smiling she said, "Then I'll be sure to hang on to the rest of them. But, you know how Jay always loved the Blue Ranger in the old newscasts. I thought it would be the perfect gift for him."
Her father smiled at her again, there was a look of mischief and genuine amusement in his eyes. "I know. I think I agree with you about it being the perfect gift."
"You mean that my grandfather?" she asked realizing what her dad was telling her.
He nodded at her and smiled, "Most likely."
She put her glass down, "I'm not going ask anything else, Daddy. This is NOT a day for us to be sad about things we can't control." She smiled, "Besides, it's his loss, he has to deal with it."
Her father chuckled, "When did you get so wise?"
She laughed, "I was born this way." Shrugging she said, "Besides, I hang around with Jay and his great-grandfather a lot."
Jason laughed, "That'd do it."
"Daddy," Trini Anne squeezed his hand, "Are you all right?" Her midnight eyes spoke volumes to him.
He smiled at her and gently returned the squeeze, "I'm fine, sweetie." Sighing deeply, he looked around, "I was just thinking about your dad."
"Daddy?" she asked, "Why did you bring me along today?" She swallowed, "I mean it's always been a tradition that you come here by yourself today. You know, to visit Dad's grave alone."
He hadn't realized that she'd started to see their yearly ritual as any kind of tradition. Then again, he guessed that was as good a definition of tradition as he'd ever heard. As they rounded the small grove a trees casting long shadows in the morning light, he replied, "Because I think it's time we made a few new traditions for today. One of them is not to be quite so sad today."
"I think maybe Jay would appreciate that," she smiled at him.
Patting her hand, he told her, "I do too." Sighing he eyed his daughter critically. She was blossoming into a very beautiful young woman. She had Billy's honey-blonde hair, hanging long and straight to the small of her back, and his own black eyes. Her complexion was creamy smooth with just a hint of freckling across the bridge of her nose- something else she'd inherited from Billy- that was just starting to turn a few shades darker as the summer wore on. She was tall like him, but had more of a swimmer's build, lacking his own burly girth. All in all, he was very pleased with the results of the procedure he and Billy had traveled to Europe to have done those long years ago. It did after all give him a little piece of Billy left in the world.
"What?" she must have noticed him staring at her smiling.
"I was just thinking about what a beautiful daughter I have, and how lucky I am to have you in my life," he told her. Suddenly feeling tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled her into a tight hug. "You are a very special young lady. You know that, don't you?"
She hugged him back, "I know, I've got a very special dad. That makes it easy."
Pulling out of the hug, he draped an arm around her shoulders as the two headed on toward the headstone at the end of the walkway. He realized that the coming years were going to be the hardest of his life. What the hell do I know about raising a daughter- especially a daughter who was as beautiful as Kat, smart as Billy, talented as Zack, and athletic as me? Then of course, he was her father, so he had to admit his opinion was prejudiced. Still, he was grateful for Kim and Trini's help when it came time to have "the" talk with her. If it weren't for the former yellow and pink rangers, he was sure he would have made a complete mess of things. Like the song says, "there are some things a man just doesn't know."
"Can I ask you a question, Daddy?" Trini asked, her voice suddenly serious as they arrived at the grave.
Looking down, he nodded, "Of course honey."
"Why haven't you gone out with anybody?" She shrugged, "I mean, it's been thirteen years. I don't think Dad would mind." She shook her head, "It's not good for you to be so lonely."
"I'm not lonely, Trini." He smiled, "I've got my friends, and my daughter to keep me from ever being lonely."
She smiled up at him, but he could tell she was unconvinced. As for himself, he wasn't sure. He didn't feel lonely. It was just that after what he and Billy had shared, anything else would seem a pale comparison. Moreover, to be honest with himself, he had to admit that what he'd seen of the gay dating community just wasn't attractive to him. He wanted more out of life than a mindless club scene, shallow psuedo-politics, and superficial relationships. "Well, at least think about it. Okay?"
"Hey what is this? First Jay comes and tells me that Billy wouldn't want me to be sad today, and now you're trying to get me to find some guy to date?" Next thing you know, you two will be setting me up on blind da…," the look of surprise on his daughter's face stopped him dead cold. Something he'd said had surprise her. Reaching out he touched her shoulder and asked quietly, "What honey?"
Seeming to regain her composure, she smiled at him weakly and shook her head. "Nothing."
Knowing his daughter better than to push her, he let it slide for now. She'd eventually bring up what ever it was that had startled her. He smiled and said, "Okay."
For long moments the two of them stood there simply looking at the grave. Jason smiled at the small row of flowers lying at the base of the stone. He could identify which ones were left by which Rangers; roses from Kat and Adam, orchids from the Kim- he smiled to himself thinking of Billy's and Kim's conversations about the fragile flowers- daisies from the Taylors, buttercups from Rocky and Aisha, and a single yellow rose from Tommy- after all these years he was still trying to say, "I'm sorry." Putting down the two red roses, he and Trini had brought, a new flower caught his eye. A single blue rose lay among the others. Jason picked it up and smiled wondering which Ranger had found such a rare flower.
Standing again, he put an arm around his daughter, and hugged her gently. She broke their silence, "I hadn't really thought about who you might go out with, Daddy."
Jason smiled to himself. So that was what had startled her. "Tell you what? What say we go and have breakfast at the IHOP, and we'll talk about it?"
She blushed up at him, "Okay."
Nodding to the blonde girl he said, "Why don't you meet me at the car? I'll be there in a minute."
She smiled at him and turned to leave, "Sure dad."
"Trini," he called to her.
She stopped without turning, "Yeah dad?"
"I know that he's very proud of you," Jason said.
"Thank you dad," she said before heading off.
Waiting for her to get out of earshot, he turned back to the stone, "I don't know if I can do this by myself, Billy. She's growing so fast. I'm just a man, what do I know about prom dresses, gymnastic practice, and particle physics?" He shook his head, "She's really a piece of work, that one. I think you two would have loved each other's company more than you could ever imagine. Kim, Kat and Trini help out a lot, but it's not the same for her. I know she feel's different, and not just because she's the only one of her friends that doesn't have a mom. Sometimes I wonder if that was how you felt growing up. I hope it's not as painful for her as it was for you."
Only the morning wind answered him, not that he expected anything else. Finally, he knelt at the stone, putting his hand out to touch the name on it, and said softly, "I love you." Then without another word, he got up and returned to his car.
Half an hour later, Jason and Trini Anne were sitting down to two plates piled high with Belgium Waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon and a large carafe of orange juice. After a quick grace, the two dug into their breakfast with a gusto that surprised Trini. Looking up between bites, she saw her father staring at her. She knew the look. She knew that he was wanting her tell him whatever it was that was bothering her.
She smiled thinking about her Aunt Kimberly accusing her of keeping her feelings to herself. She called it the "Cranston Way" but Trini knew that she was saying it affectionately. Of course, Trini wouldn't have any idea what the Cranston Way was anyway. It wasn't as if she had any contact with her grandfather from Billy's side of the family. But, she also knew her father, and knew that he wouldn't let the gaff at the cemetery pass. Sighing she said, "I guess when I suggested that you start dating again, I really hadn't thought it through."
Her dad simply smiled at her, "What you mean, is that you thought I might date women."
Blushing, she nodded, "I guess so."
"Not that I'm likely to go out and look for a date any time soon, but I married a man once. If I were to start going out again," he smiled at her, "which to be honest is not very likely, it wouldn't be with a woman."
She looked down, "I guess I know that dad. I guess what I mean is that you don't act like most of the gay men I've known or see on television."
"What should I act like, honey?" he asked her.
She chuckled, "You shouldn't act like anything you're not dad. You just don't fit the stereotype."
"Would it make you feel better if I did?" he smiled at her.
Shaking her head she said, "No! I'm just saying that I guess I hadn't thought this out very far."
"Okay," he smiled. "On to safer subjects; what did you get Jay for his birthday?"
She grinned at him, "The Blue Ranger Action Figure, circa 1993, still in its original box."
Her father whistled, "Where did you ever find that?"
"A yard sale on Spruce Drive," she told him. "There was this older man who was selling his house and was getting rid of a lot of this stuff." She shook her head remembering all the boxes for sale. "He had a whole collection of all the original Power Rangers, complete with 'Zords. I got them all."
She watched a flicker of surprise shoot across her father's face and then disappear behind a glass of orange juice. "1420 Spruce?"
"How'd you know?" she asked suddenly feeling strange.
"Because that was your dad's father's house," he told her. "There's a very good chance that you just bought your dad's old collection," he smiled putting down the glass.
Smiling she said, "Then I'll be sure to hang on to the rest of them. But, you know how Jay always loved the Blue Ranger in the old newscasts. I thought it would be the perfect gift for him."
Her father smiled at her again, there was a look of mischief and genuine amusement in his eyes. "I know. I think I agree with you about it being the perfect gift."
"You mean that my grandfather?" she asked realizing what her dad was telling her.
He nodded at her and smiled, "Most likely."
She put her glass down, "I'm not going ask anything else, Daddy. This is NOT a day for us to be sad about things we can't control." She smiled, "Besides, it's his loss, he has to deal with it."
Her father chuckled, "When did you get so wise?"
She laughed, "I was born this way." Shrugging she said, "Besides, I hang around with Jay and his great-grandfather a lot."
Jason laughed, "That'd do it."