Pt. 5: Court

Narrator: It was late afternoon in the wood, and Ropher was admiring a job well done.

Ropher: That's the best tunnel I've ever dug. Today is a time for celebration …. I'll get a 6-pack

(Ropher goes into his hole. Above, Fowul is flying.)

Fowul: Oh…man, I gotta take a shit so bad I can taste it (struggles) That's better .

(His turd falls to the earth, and hit's the tunnel forcing it to cave in.)

Ropher: (from the rubble) What the hell happened to my tunnel? (Digs out) Oh shit, (looks at the turd) literally

(Fowul, seeing Ropher, flies down)

Fowul: Hey Ropher, what's going on?

Ropher: Some little turd's little……turd, destroyed my new tunnel.

Fowul: (looking at the turd) Looks like the kind of turd I shit out earlier…looks at lot like it.

Ropher: Is it yours?

Fowul: Could be. Why?

Ropher: Because it destroyed my new tunnel! And if it is yours, I'll see you in court!!!

(Scene changes to a court room)

Janga: All rise for the dishonourable Jude Drew Bear!

(Drew walks out in judge uniform)

Drew: Thank you bailiff. Now, why are e all here?

Janga: We're here to settle the matter of the Ropher / Fowul shit case.

Drew: ….right. Are they being their own lawyers?

Ropher / Fowul: Yep.

Drew: It's gonna be a long day. Ropher, present you case.

Ropher: Thank you your honor. At 13h00 yesterday, I had just completed an extremely complex tunnel. I went to celebrate, when the accused took a dump and destroyed my tunnel. See exhibit "A", the turd.

Drew: (smelling the air) Woo! That's foul!

Ropher: Yes, it does belong to Fowul.

Drew: I didn't mean it like….Nevermind.

Ropher: I want a settlement of….1 Billion Dollars!!!

Drew: For what?

Ropher: Emotional distress that was suffered during the collapse.

Fowul: I don't have that kind of money and you know it!

Drew: Look. Fowul, present your case so we can get this over with and go home.

Fowul: I was flying and I had to take a dump. It was nature calling.

Drew: Too much info, Jury?

(We see the jury box. Cabbit is masturbating, Neyore is stoned, and Nickger and Soo are busy)

Nickger: We're in deadlock your honor.

Soo: In more ways then one.

Drew: Right. Well, I have a choice. Give Ropher the settlement… Let Fowl go… or do neither, and bust everybody (checks his watch) And the hockey game's on in 10 minutes.

Janga: Verdict?

Drew: Well, I believe DX said it best… in this case, you two both loose, so SUCK IT!!!!

(Does the DX Taunt)

Soo: Too late.

Ropher: Fuck you Drew.

Fowul: What he said, (takes a shit) Dammit!

Ropher: You might want to get that checked.

Drew: Ya, I don't think constant shitting is healthy.

Narrator: And thus, the crisis averted, everyone went home happy.

Drew: That's bull. Ropher's pissed, Fowul has a colon problem, and the my team lost the game.

Narrator: I see. Thus, all was as it should be in the 40½ acre wood.

The End (Of Story 5)