Chapter 2. *Letters*
AN: This chapter very much repeats the previous one. But from Harrys point of view. Oh, and someone didn´t know, ooo means HUGS in a letter and xxx means KISSES. (At least I think so:p)
Dedicated to my first reviewer, Ziggy Stardust. ;p
Warning: Big Fat Spoilers for OotP.
Notes: Again, // means thoughts. { means dreaming.
*****
{He was in the The Department of Mysteries again. Except now he was alone with Ron.
They were in The Death Room, where Sirius had met his end, the archway looming over him like an ancient statue of a heathen god. The veil fluttered lightly and a voice, eerie and as if agonized, came through. He recognised the voice immediaetly, it was Sirius!
"Harry..." It whispered. "Why didn´t you save me? You could have done it... You could have prevented my death."
The voice was horrible, bitter and blaming.
"It is your fault that I´m dead! If you hadn´t been so stupid to think that Voldemort had me captured I´d still be alive!!"
Harry was horror-struck, he tried to answer, tried to scream he was sorry, but when he moved his lips no sound came out. He clapped a hand to his mouth and tried to run away, but neither could he move his legs. He could only stand and watch this macabre show what was going on.
For now the voice seemed to be speaking to Ron, standing next to him.
"Hello Ron... Would you want to join us? Would you want to join the Dead folk Ron?"
To Harrys horror, Ron took a step towards the veil, and a dry chuckle came from behind it.
"Yes, that´s a good boy.." The voice said when Ron was standing right infront of the still fluttering cloth, a manical giggle floating in the air like suffocating gas.
"Take the last step Ron!"
The voice was cackling like a madman now.
"Take the step and join those who Harry couldn´t save!! HAHAHAH!
"Can you see it Harry? Can you see how the only one you still truly love becomes a permanent member of the Dead And Deceased corp.? HAHAHAHAH!!
Harry fought with every cell of his body against the force binding him to the floor beneath, he had to save Ron! But it was futile.
He saw how Rons hands gradually rose to the hem of the veil and opened it slightly. What Harry saw made him sick. Floating there, in mid-air, were faces, faces as white as sheets, rotten faces, dried faces, swollen faces all baring the same spine-chilling grin.
And in the middle of them, was Sirius. He had no eyes, only holes filled with darkness so deep it was beyond measure, they seemed to ooze malice and cruelty.
Ron was staring at those holes, mesmerized and greedy, it was like they were calling him.
"Don´t do it Ron! Please don´t leave me alone! I love you too much to lose you!" Harry was screaming without the merest whimper.
But despite Harrys desperate attempts Ron did it. There was a cold breeze as Ron fell to the land of the dead, that ghastly risus still echoing from the walls.}
*****
Harry woke up to the pain. But this time the source wasn´t his scar but his heart.
Apparently he had been crying in his sleep for Hedwig was awake and hooted drowsily from her cage.
"Just a dream, nothing else. You better go back to sleep, I´ve got work for you tomorrow." Harry said stiffling a yawn.
The house was completely silent, save the thunderous snoring coming from his Uncles and Aunts bedroom, it seemed to make the glasses in the windows to rattle a bit.
He could still feel the torturous pain in his heart and knew all too well what was causing it...
For he missed Ron, missed his smile, his cerulean eyes, his scarlet locks that kept dropping down to his eyes from where he would carelessly sweep them off.. If Harry could do it for him even *once* he could die happy.
But most of all he missed the things he could never have from Ron: he wanted to feel his Rons lips against his own, to taste his mouth and plunge his fingers deep into that fiery hair, to caress him in... well.. places and to embrace him so tight they would allmost become one.
Yes, Harry loved Ron.
Much more than one ought to love his best friend. His best *male* friend...
He had no idea when these feelings had first occurred. Was it when they were fighting nearly two years ago? Or when Ron said he would die defensing Harry in the Shrieking Shack back in their third year? Or perhaps even earlier... In the Chamber of Secrets when he had to leave Ron behind that rock pile that was separating them.
But, he was allways clearly conscious of Rons feeling towards Hermione. Oh yes, he had seen the way Ron kept watching Hermione: Lovingly, eyes shining, allmost greedy sometimes. The way he spoke about her, and the fights they had were so clear signs of their affection for one another that one should´ve been as thick as brick to not notice it.
And so Harry had forced the grief and the love to the back of his mind and kept telling himself that he liked *girls* not boys.
Then, along came Cho, the most beautifull girl of all Ravenclaws.
//"A perfect candidate for a perfect, huge crush."// Harry thought when he first saw her flying in that match against Ravenclaw.
His rational part told him that he should be drooling after her, but his heart, though subsided in this matter, screamed that he loved Ron.
And due to every universal law concerning the confused emotions of a boy entering puberty, Harry fell for Cho.
Though, as written before, his heart didn´t agree with this and made itself heard during their fourth year by the fact that Ron was the one who he should get out from the bottom of the lake, not Cho.
His crush forced itself to last as long as last spring, and then, after dating Cho and miserably failing at it, Harry finally realised that he wasn´t into girls as much as into boys and allowed his feelings for Ron to flourish again.
But alas, he could never admitt those feelings burning inside him to Ron. He might be able to tell him he was gay, knowing Ron and his family he wouldn´t propably mind, but if he kissed him... Ron´d push him away and that´d be the end of their friendship.
Yet, Harry thought, he could love him from distance, acquiesce in his faith and watch Ron getting married and have kids. Maybe he could be Rons bestman and a godfather to his children. Anything would do, as long as he could be near Ron.
While his heart pondered Ron, his brains reasoned how the wizarding world would react if he came out of the closet. He was terrified even to think of the options... Rita Skeeter or who ever was her follower nowadays, would propably faint out of sheer joy when she´d hear the news.
Harry could almost see the Daily Prophet floating before him, the headline screaming:
"The Boy-Who-Lived comes out of the closet!"
Or:
"Is our saviour a fag?"
Et cetera...
These kinds of thoughts usually came at night, when Harry was most vulnerable, and lead to him sobbing to his pillow, only to wish that sleep would wash the waves of oblivion over him...
That happened again, and this time he saw no nightmares, only Ron telling him how he had allways loved him.
(And because of the overflowing amount of clichés in this world, Ron dreamed that exact same dream at the same night.)
*****
Someone was banging Harrys door and shouting something about getting up.
It took some time for Harry to orientate to the situation. It would´ve been so much delightfull to stay in the dream realms with Ron...
"Get up boy!" Uncle Vernon bawled. "Since when did you have the right to sleep longer than us?"
"Oh shut up, you bugger.." Harry muttered under his breath but got up eventually and after giving Hedwig some owl treats rushed downstairs. There he ate his simple breakfast and without a word left the house with some paper and a pen.
He had thought he could owl Ron and ask if he could finally come to Grimmauld place and go straight to Hogwarts from there.
His feet were carrying him steadily towards the park where there were some tables and cool shadows under the oaks. Though it was merely forenoon, the sun was shining as if it´d be its last chance and hoisted the temperature gradually up. Harry was allready swetting...
He reached the park and sat on a stool placing the empty paper infront of him, his mind working on how to start.
After ten minutes he had only managed to write "Dear Ron" and doodle one of the corners completely black. Sure he knew what he wanted to write, but those things were something you only told to your beloved or boyfriend...
After spending two and a half hours sitting there, looking propably quite stupid, he laid down the pen and read what he had written:
"Dear Ron.
How are things going in there? The Dursleys are as bad as allways in here... I miss you, and that´s why I wrote this. To ask if I could come there, and spend the rest of the summer with you and others.
I´ll be waiting for your answer!
Harry.
ooo"
It sounded ridiculous to Harry. No matter how he tried he couldn´t get it sound.. well.. not so formal.
He had thought a lot about putting those O´s there. Would it be too obvious? What if Ron´d get suspicious? Nah, the X´s he had written and the smudged over would´ve though been too much..
//"Oh, I could write letters wih nothing more than X´s and O´s to Ron..."// He thought and exited the park, slouching back "home".
But before he reached there, something furry and madly hooting landed straight into his chest and when recovered from the crash, began twittering and swooshing up his head.
Harry recognised the creature at once, it was Pig!
//"Wonderfull! A letter from Ron! Wonder what he writes.."// He thought and with shaking hands catched the owl and took the letter in his hands. He broke the seal and read:
"Harry.
Mum just told me that Dumbledore´s letting you come here already next week! Isn´t it great? Make sure you´re ready when they come to get you. Though I haven´t got a clue how you´re going to get here but anyway :p I´m writing this in the evening, but ´cause Pig´ll propably get lost you´ll get this at the earliest by tomorrow daytime...
See you soon!
Ron."
Harry felt he could jump up and fly! With a smile playing on his lips, he hided Pig in his pocket, and ran to write an answer to Ron.
Nothing could ruin his good mood, he thought when he opened the front door and ascended the stairs to his room. He began packing his trunk right away, tossing with abandon his stuff there and shutting it.
Then he wrote the answer to Ron and send Pig away with it. He couldn´t remember when he´d been this happy. He would see Ron again!
*****
End of chapter 2
AN: I don´t like this chapter very much, it feels it´d be kinda "forced" out of me. I haven´t written chapter three yet, so it´ll propably take some time when I update again..
-Shadey-poo
AN: This chapter very much repeats the previous one. But from Harrys point of view. Oh, and someone didn´t know, ooo means HUGS in a letter and xxx means KISSES. (At least I think so:p)
Dedicated to my first reviewer, Ziggy Stardust. ;p
Warning: Big Fat Spoilers for OotP.
Notes: Again, // means thoughts. { means dreaming.
*****
{He was in the The Department of Mysteries again. Except now he was alone with Ron.
They were in The Death Room, where Sirius had met his end, the archway looming over him like an ancient statue of a heathen god. The veil fluttered lightly and a voice, eerie and as if agonized, came through. He recognised the voice immediaetly, it was Sirius!
"Harry..." It whispered. "Why didn´t you save me? You could have done it... You could have prevented my death."
The voice was horrible, bitter and blaming.
"It is your fault that I´m dead! If you hadn´t been so stupid to think that Voldemort had me captured I´d still be alive!!"
Harry was horror-struck, he tried to answer, tried to scream he was sorry, but when he moved his lips no sound came out. He clapped a hand to his mouth and tried to run away, but neither could he move his legs. He could only stand and watch this macabre show what was going on.
For now the voice seemed to be speaking to Ron, standing next to him.
"Hello Ron... Would you want to join us? Would you want to join the Dead folk Ron?"
To Harrys horror, Ron took a step towards the veil, and a dry chuckle came from behind it.
"Yes, that´s a good boy.." The voice said when Ron was standing right infront of the still fluttering cloth, a manical giggle floating in the air like suffocating gas.
"Take the last step Ron!"
The voice was cackling like a madman now.
"Take the step and join those who Harry couldn´t save!! HAHAHAH!
"Can you see it Harry? Can you see how the only one you still truly love becomes a permanent member of the Dead And Deceased corp.? HAHAHAHAH!!
Harry fought with every cell of his body against the force binding him to the floor beneath, he had to save Ron! But it was futile.
He saw how Rons hands gradually rose to the hem of the veil and opened it slightly. What Harry saw made him sick. Floating there, in mid-air, were faces, faces as white as sheets, rotten faces, dried faces, swollen faces all baring the same spine-chilling grin.
And in the middle of them, was Sirius. He had no eyes, only holes filled with darkness so deep it was beyond measure, they seemed to ooze malice and cruelty.
Ron was staring at those holes, mesmerized and greedy, it was like they were calling him.
"Don´t do it Ron! Please don´t leave me alone! I love you too much to lose you!" Harry was screaming without the merest whimper.
But despite Harrys desperate attempts Ron did it. There was a cold breeze as Ron fell to the land of the dead, that ghastly risus still echoing from the walls.}
*****
Harry woke up to the pain. But this time the source wasn´t his scar but his heart.
Apparently he had been crying in his sleep for Hedwig was awake and hooted drowsily from her cage.
"Just a dream, nothing else. You better go back to sleep, I´ve got work for you tomorrow." Harry said stiffling a yawn.
The house was completely silent, save the thunderous snoring coming from his Uncles and Aunts bedroom, it seemed to make the glasses in the windows to rattle a bit.
He could still feel the torturous pain in his heart and knew all too well what was causing it...
For he missed Ron, missed his smile, his cerulean eyes, his scarlet locks that kept dropping down to his eyes from where he would carelessly sweep them off.. If Harry could do it for him even *once* he could die happy.
But most of all he missed the things he could never have from Ron: he wanted to feel his Rons lips against his own, to taste his mouth and plunge his fingers deep into that fiery hair, to caress him in... well.. places and to embrace him so tight they would allmost become one.
Yes, Harry loved Ron.
Much more than one ought to love his best friend. His best *male* friend...
He had no idea when these feelings had first occurred. Was it when they were fighting nearly two years ago? Or when Ron said he would die defensing Harry in the Shrieking Shack back in their third year? Or perhaps even earlier... In the Chamber of Secrets when he had to leave Ron behind that rock pile that was separating them.
But, he was allways clearly conscious of Rons feeling towards Hermione. Oh yes, he had seen the way Ron kept watching Hermione: Lovingly, eyes shining, allmost greedy sometimes. The way he spoke about her, and the fights they had were so clear signs of their affection for one another that one should´ve been as thick as brick to not notice it.
And so Harry had forced the grief and the love to the back of his mind and kept telling himself that he liked *girls* not boys.
Then, along came Cho, the most beautifull girl of all Ravenclaws.
//"A perfect candidate for a perfect, huge crush."// Harry thought when he first saw her flying in that match against Ravenclaw.
His rational part told him that he should be drooling after her, but his heart, though subsided in this matter, screamed that he loved Ron.
And due to every universal law concerning the confused emotions of a boy entering puberty, Harry fell for Cho.
Though, as written before, his heart didn´t agree with this and made itself heard during their fourth year by the fact that Ron was the one who he should get out from the bottom of the lake, not Cho.
His crush forced itself to last as long as last spring, and then, after dating Cho and miserably failing at it, Harry finally realised that he wasn´t into girls as much as into boys and allowed his feelings for Ron to flourish again.
But alas, he could never admitt those feelings burning inside him to Ron. He might be able to tell him he was gay, knowing Ron and his family he wouldn´t propably mind, but if he kissed him... Ron´d push him away and that´d be the end of their friendship.
Yet, Harry thought, he could love him from distance, acquiesce in his faith and watch Ron getting married and have kids. Maybe he could be Rons bestman and a godfather to his children. Anything would do, as long as he could be near Ron.
While his heart pondered Ron, his brains reasoned how the wizarding world would react if he came out of the closet. He was terrified even to think of the options... Rita Skeeter or who ever was her follower nowadays, would propably faint out of sheer joy when she´d hear the news.
Harry could almost see the Daily Prophet floating before him, the headline screaming:
"The Boy-Who-Lived comes out of the closet!"
Or:
"Is our saviour a fag?"
Et cetera...
These kinds of thoughts usually came at night, when Harry was most vulnerable, and lead to him sobbing to his pillow, only to wish that sleep would wash the waves of oblivion over him...
That happened again, and this time he saw no nightmares, only Ron telling him how he had allways loved him.
(And because of the overflowing amount of clichés in this world, Ron dreamed that exact same dream at the same night.)
*****
Someone was banging Harrys door and shouting something about getting up.
It took some time for Harry to orientate to the situation. It would´ve been so much delightfull to stay in the dream realms with Ron...
"Get up boy!" Uncle Vernon bawled. "Since when did you have the right to sleep longer than us?"
"Oh shut up, you bugger.." Harry muttered under his breath but got up eventually and after giving Hedwig some owl treats rushed downstairs. There he ate his simple breakfast and without a word left the house with some paper and a pen.
He had thought he could owl Ron and ask if he could finally come to Grimmauld place and go straight to Hogwarts from there.
His feet were carrying him steadily towards the park where there were some tables and cool shadows under the oaks. Though it was merely forenoon, the sun was shining as if it´d be its last chance and hoisted the temperature gradually up. Harry was allready swetting...
He reached the park and sat on a stool placing the empty paper infront of him, his mind working on how to start.
After ten minutes he had only managed to write "Dear Ron" and doodle one of the corners completely black. Sure he knew what he wanted to write, but those things were something you only told to your beloved or boyfriend...
After spending two and a half hours sitting there, looking propably quite stupid, he laid down the pen and read what he had written:
"Dear Ron.
How are things going in there? The Dursleys are as bad as allways in here... I miss you, and that´s why I wrote this. To ask if I could come there, and spend the rest of the summer with you and others.
I´ll be waiting for your answer!
Harry.
ooo"
It sounded ridiculous to Harry. No matter how he tried he couldn´t get it sound.. well.. not so formal.
He had thought a lot about putting those O´s there. Would it be too obvious? What if Ron´d get suspicious? Nah, the X´s he had written and the smudged over would´ve though been too much..
//"Oh, I could write letters wih nothing more than X´s and O´s to Ron..."// He thought and exited the park, slouching back "home".
But before he reached there, something furry and madly hooting landed straight into his chest and when recovered from the crash, began twittering and swooshing up his head.
Harry recognised the creature at once, it was Pig!
//"Wonderfull! A letter from Ron! Wonder what he writes.."// He thought and with shaking hands catched the owl and took the letter in his hands. He broke the seal and read:
"Harry.
Mum just told me that Dumbledore´s letting you come here already next week! Isn´t it great? Make sure you´re ready when they come to get you. Though I haven´t got a clue how you´re going to get here but anyway :p I´m writing this in the evening, but ´cause Pig´ll propably get lost you´ll get this at the earliest by tomorrow daytime...
See you soon!
Ron."
Harry felt he could jump up and fly! With a smile playing on his lips, he hided Pig in his pocket, and ran to write an answer to Ron.
Nothing could ruin his good mood, he thought when he opened the front door and ascended the stairs to his room. He began packing his trunk right away, tossing with abandon his stuff there and shutting it.
Then he wrote the answer to Ron and send Pig away with it. He couldn´t remember when he´d been this happy. He would see Ron again!
*****
End of chapter 2
AN: I don´t like this chapter very much, it feels it´d be kinda "forced" out of me. I haven´t written chapter three yet, so it´ll propably take some time when I update again..
-Shadey-poo