Note: Just a note: I'm before the chapter. I'm not Anti-Gay. Neither are any of the people the characters are based on. This was just an idea I couldn't pass up…That and I was really tired when I wrote most of this.

Pt. 9: "I'm gone for a day an…"

Narrator: It was a quiet day in the 40 ½ acre wood…which is never good. The leaves rustled and a lone figure is walking the path that leads beyond the woods.

(We see Drew heading to the path)

Drew: Yup, off I go, a bear on a mission.

Narrator: What would that mission be?

Drew: It's been getting really boring round here. I'm off to find a new cast member. I'll be back in a day.

Narrator: Aren't you worried something could happen while your gone?

Drew: Nah. How much trouble can the others get into in a day? (leaves the woods)

Narrator: Well, our central character gone, we leave the-

Author: Where do you think your going? There's a plot to this story somewhere.

(Author and Narrator disappear)(Nickger and Stiglet are seen walking down to the path)

Nickger: What exactly did this note say?

Stiglet: It said bring a friend and be here at 11:30

Nickger: I have a bad feeling about this.

Janga: (from nearby) Your not the only one

Stiglet: What are you doing here?

Janga: Soo got a note and I came with her.

Soo: Ya. I would have brought one of you, but I guess you came together.

Nickger: Yup. Wonder who sent the notes.

Voice: (from behind them) I did.

Soo: Who said that? Where are you?

(We see a young human walk out of the bushes)

Nickger: Who the hell are you?

Robin Christopher: My name is Robin Christopher

Janga:….Ok.. What do you want?

Robin Christopher: Well, I noted your little cast is all uptight, and I'm here to help. You see, your all of the majority lifestyle.

Stiglet: The what?

Robin Christopher: Well, you have fucked the opposite sex correct?

Stiglet: Ya, duh.

Robin Christopher: And I bet it's difficult to get one of the opposite sex around here.

Nickger: Kinda. Small cast

Robin Christopher: Well, why not become part of the minority lifestyle?

Soo: You mean homosexuals?

Robin Christopher: Yes. It's a simple life.

Janga: (sarcastic) Sure it is.

Robin Christopher: Allright. Hold on (Pulls out a bunch of charts and stats and babbles explanations as they all nod)

***10 minutes Laters***

Nickger: Wow, it's so clear now.

Soo: Ya, why didn't we try this before?

Robin Christopher: You didn't know. Now go my friends and enjoy life. (the four walk away) Well, my work here is done.

(We cut to the auditions for new cast members. Drew, the Author and the Narrator sit behind a desk)

Drew: Next! (a skunk creature walks in) Name?

Skunk: Putrid.

Author: Putrid? Where'd you get a name like that?

Skunk: Well, that's what people call me whenever I have beans.

Narrator: NEXT!! (A small pig walks in) We already have a pig, but shoot. Name?

Pig: Hamhead BigShlong

Drew:. Hamhead BigShlong? Whatever. Credentials to work on a sick story?

(Pig pulls down pants. Author\Narrator\Drew's eyes widen)

All: HOLY SHIT!!!

Pig: Not just a name.

Author: We can see that…Sorry, We can't have anyone with a shlong bigger then the cast.

Pig: Screw off! Hmm, that's not a bad idea.

Drew: NEXT!!!!

Narrator: Shit, 300 people and still no new cast member.

Drew: Maybe the next one will do.

(A tall long haired\long legged cat=creature walks in. The 3 stand up)

All: She's a babe! Scwiinng!! (Note-Another Wayne's World reference, Freaky eh?)

Cat: Ok…

Drew: (sitting down calmly) Sorry bout that. Name?

Cat: Cat. Jali Cat.

Author: Qualifications?

Narrator: She's a babe.

Author: Besides that.

Jalicat: (attempts to speak but is interrupted)

Drew: Ya. Great. Whatever, your in.

Jalicat: Cool.

Narrator: Well, you stay here and fill out these forms with us while Drew goes back to the woods and tells the cast.

Drew: But-

Author: Do it or I'll turn you into a pink care bear for the rest of the story!

Drew: (Shudders) Allright, I'll be back. (exits)

(Well Drew is on his way back to the woods, we see what is happening now that Janga, Nickger, Stiglet and Soo have turned homosexual)

(We see Nickger behind Stiglet, screwing the pig up the ass. We then see Janga and Soo fondling and frenching each other. Then Stiglet climbs onto Nickger and they begin to 69. Meanwhile, the kangaroos have begun to use a double ended dildo given to them by Robin Christopher. Finally, Stiglet begins to hop on Nickger's dick like a happy child on Christmas.)

(As this is happening, we see Cabbit, Ropher and Neyore watching. Cabbit and Ropher sit wide-eyed at the site before them.)

Neyore: (puffing on a joint and looking) Woh, I think this shit just kicked in!

(1 hour later)

(We see Drew coming down the path back to the woods. As he enters the woods, he stops)

Drew: Ah home….I sense a disturbance in the force (farts) that's better. Hmm…where is everyone? (Keeps walking) And what's with all the white… Wait a minute..

Neyore: Hey Drew!

Drew: (turning to them) Allright, someone care to explain the large amount of cum drenching the grass?

Ropher: Well…uhh…ya see..

Drew: Just say it. (Cabbit walks up to him and whispers)…They, and the huh.. and the…what…(faints)

Cabbit: We better wake him up.

Neyore: This outta do it. (moves joint near Drew's nose)

Drew: (Jumping up) I just had the weirdest dream (looks around) Ah shit it's real.

Ropher: So what do we do?

Drew: Well, let us asses the situation. We have to homosexual couples in the cast. Last I check, the author made no mention of an idea like this.

Cabbit: So what are you gonna do?

Drew: I can't do this alone (looks at the three) and no help here. Time to call in the heavy-artillery. By this time tomorrow, this story will be as straight as that pig's shlong.

Ropher\Neyore\Cabbit: Pig's shlong?

(We see outside Drew's house. We can hear Drew talking on the phone)

Drew: (talking) Yup, gotta be that "Robin Christopher" fuck. So here's the plan. We hunt him down, then "deprogram" the others…yes there's beer in it for you,

(Next morning. Neyore, Cabbit and Ropher are waiting for Drew and his "heavy artillery")

Ropher: Wonder what fat boy's plan is.

Drew: (from behind them) You'll know soon enough.

(The three turn around wide-eyed. Behind Drew is a 6'5, 280lbs bear)

Drew: Meet my brother.

Group:…..ah. Nice touch. What's your plan

Brother: To "deprogram them"

Cabbit: Ah. Well, we'll leave you to that.

(The three exit. The brothers head to Nickgers)

Drew: This won't take long. (The two walk in. They exit 1 second later wide-eyed) Ahhh!!

Brother: (punches Drew) Snap out of it. Let's try the chicks.

(The two head to Janga's/ Before they reach the door, they stop at the window. Inside, Janga and Soo are using the dildo again.)

Brother: Come on.

Drew: Hold. When else are we gonna see a show like this for free again?

Brother: This is getting us nowhere. There's only one thing left to do.

Drew: Kick the shit out off Robin Christopher??

Brother: Yup. Let's go.

(We see Robin Christopher reading under a tree. The brothers appear behind up)

Brothers: (Irish accents) Top of the Mornin to ya fairy fuck!

**Note: The following is a scene of unimaginable violence. Due to rating laws, this scene cannot be seen***

(5 minutes later)

(We see the cast minus Robin Christopher and Drew's brother in the field)

Drew: Anyone care to explain what happened while I was gone?

Nickger: It was like "Woh" and they were like "Woh" and I was like "Woh"

Drew: Right…Whatever. Well, as you know, I was out looking for a new character, and I found one. Bring her in.

(Author and Narrator enter with Jali Cat)

Author: Meet Jalicat.

Group: Hey.

Jalicat: Great crowd.

Drew: You get used to it. Welcome to the woods kid.

Author: You'll get more lines next chapter.

Drew: Yup. Later Days!

The End (of Story 9)