But unfortunately for you, the gods weren't smiling at you today. A very genki young girl with blond hair skipped towards Yuki-sensei, then pulled at the sleeve of his white mandarin-collared polo shirt.
"The kouchou is looking for you, Yuki," said the girl, beaming. "Uh-oh. What did you do now?"
You saw Yuki-sensei's face pale, but he remained composed. "Now what could headmaster Akito possibly want from me?"
Akito?
Yes, I know that you know who he is, and that he will bring trouble, but heck, in this story, you're not supposed to be acquainted with him yet so don't protest anymore when you let the girl take your Yuki-sensei away from you.
But the girl turned to smile at you again. "Hey, I'm teaching English. Please attend my class, ok? I like teaching cute girls."
For some reason, that made your face flame. She doesn't sound the way girls should speak!
But she wasn't contented with that. She tiptoed and gave you a quick peck on the cheek!
"Momiji!" Yuki-sensei had the presence of mind to ward off the strange girl. He smiled again at you. "Gomen, my cousin is very hyper when he's around pretty things."
You absentmindedly pointed to yourself. Does that mean that you count as a pretty thing? You wanted to faint- that was one of the best compliments you've ever received, especially when it came from the mouth of someone like Yuki-sensei!
W-Wait a minute…did Yuki-sensei say when he's around pretty things?
He?
He?!
A HE kissed you?!!!
Sohma Momiji looked pretty amused as he watched you freak out. "You didn't know I was male?"
"B-But…but…" you stammered as you looked desperately at the girl clothes he was wearing. "Why are you…?"
He looked down at his sailor top and at his flouncing blue skirt and knee-high socks, then back at you. This time though, his eyes were all watery. "J-Ja…w-what's wrong with my clothes?" he asked, lips quivering.
You immediately felt terrible. What the hell do you care about his fashion taste anyway? And he's very cute in his sailormoon-inspired suit, for the love of your dog!
"I-I was just wondering whether I can borrow your skirt when you're done," you said instead. "It's really nice."
"Really??!!!" He looked like he was ready to leap at you had not Yuki restrained him.
"Where are your manners, Momiji? You are dealing with a lady," he gently reprimanded.
"Hai, hai," shrugged the sailor boy. "I'll just walk her to her next class. Will that be alright?"
Yuki sighed. "I suppose."
"Right this way!" Momiji pulled you to the other end of the hallway. You gave your Yuki-sensei one last look when you noticed that his warm smile was gone. Icy-cold hardness replaced it, as he headed for the headmaster's office.
You scratched your head. Isn't Yuki-sensei too old for detentions?
At last, you arrived in your classroom. Momiji waved at you, promising that he would teach your class soon.
"But concentrate on this subject first," said the boy before walking away.
You were still mystified. How could they let a child teach in school already?
You then turned to your seatmate. "What subject will we be having?"
"Math," shrugged the girl, smiling confidently.
Which was the exact opposite of your facial reaction. Math?! But you and that subject have a mutual hatred for each other!
But before you could back out from the class, a dazed-looking young man entered the classroom. He turned to you and your classmates, eyes wide. "Um…excuse me…" he said timidly. "Can you kindly direct me to IV-A?"
Which was your class.
You raised your hand and pointed to the sign of the classroom.
"Er, the clouds?" he asked, confused.
You shook your head.
"The cobwebs? The spiders?"
You sighed. "This is IV-A, sensei."
He blinked. "Ohhhh. OK." He smiled. "I'm pretty slow with signs and stuff."
It's ok, you forgive him. Who couldn't forgive someone as dashingly cute as he?
He looked at his class record, then back at you and your classmates. "Hi! I am Haru Sohma, and I'm your teacher in Math." He looked at the ceiling fans that weren't functioning, then sighed. "Goodness, it's so hot here!" He unbuttoned the few top buttons of his shirt, and you heard your classmates gulp collectively. You were different; you drooled.
"Aw, still hot!" He reached for the bottle of mineral water on the teacher's table, and right there and then in front of the class, he emptied its contents down to his body. Water dripped down his face crunched up in satisfaction of cold water soothing the heat of his skin.
All of you could only watch in mute…er, supply your own (kinky) word here.
"Whew!" he said, grinning widely. "I feel so much cooler."
You can't say the same thing for you and your classmates.
"Now let's start the lesson…hum dum dum…" His forehead creased in concern. "What lesson are we in already?"
You browsed through your book. According to the secretary who briefed you yesterday on the lessons you must catch up, you're already on geometry…
"We're on the multiplication table," said your seatmate.
You blinked. Did you hear her right?
But to your shock, Haru-sensei accepted this casually. "Ah ok, let's tackle the multiplication table." He grinned. "Class, what is a multiplication table?"
"One that has rows and columns!" said one student.
"Very good! What else can you say about it?"
"We don't use it in the dining room to eat on!"
"Correct again! Wow, you guys are studying your lessons really well!"
You sweatdropped.
He smiled. "Now let's see how much you've mastered the multiplication table. Eight times three is equal to what?"
"Three times eight!" replied your classmates in chorus.
Haru grinned. "Very good, class. Now what is the answer to eight times three?"
"Eight written in Times New Roman font size three!" replied another.
"Really?" Haru-sensei looked really astounded. "I didn't know that!"
"No, it's actually 'eight eight eight'," said another student.
Haru looked confused. "But…" He went to the blackboard and began to make three sets of eight counting sticks. He counted it one by one, then grinned. "It's actually eight raised to the third power."
You nearly fell down from your seat.
"Let's do some multiplication drills for today…"
"Sensei, answer this orally first," said one of your classmates, standing up.
"Sure, but make sure that it's not too big that I have to get a pencil and paper to solve it," he said, leaning on his table.
"Two million eight hundred twenty four thousand seven hundred forty five point ninety two times zero?"
Haru paused, then looked at his hands. "Ummm…"
Your classmate grinned. "Well?"
"It's too much for my ten fingers!" he cried in despair. "Even if I join my toe fingers in the count, it still won't reach two million eight hundred twenty four thousand seven hundred forty five point ninety two!"
"OK, you can use a paper or the blackboard," said the student.
Haru nodded, then began to make sets of counting sticks. You all watched as he made the sticks grouped in 5 on the blackboard. You had to admire his patience, and you were reminded of a Chinese proverb.
The ox is slow but the earth is patient. Or something to that effect.
"Sensei, you can always use a calculator," you suggested out of pity, even if it was all you could do to blurt out the very simple answer to the question.
His face lit up. "Oh yes, a calculator! Of course!" He rummaged through his things.
"Sensei, maybe it's in the faculty room," you suggested.
"Hmm…maybe you're right. I better go get it." He waved to the class. "Ill be right back, and I'll finally be able to solve my student's problem."
Five minutes after he left the classroom, your classmates stood up already.
"Where are you going?" you asked. The bell signaling the end of a school period hadn't rung yet. "Won't we wait for him to get back first?"
"If you will wait for him, chances are, it's already Judgment Day when he returns." Your classmate pulled you along. "But he'll be back in time for our class with him tomorrow. We have already estimated the ratio and proportion of the time he reaches the faculty room then returns here."
"Er…" you couldn't protest anymore.
"Let's go to our next class," your classmate said. "The teacher there is also funny."
"What's our next class?" You were almost afraid to ask.
"Values class."
tsuzuku