Values class it is. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst, even though your classmates assure you that the subject would be a breeze.

Just then, a very nervous-looking young woman entered the classroom. Your brow rose. She was your teacher?! You looked at you classmates for confirmation, and they nodded.  You sighed inwardly. She looked more like someone who just lost her house to a very large fire, had her son join the army at war, and misplaced her one and only house key at midnight.

"G-Good morning, class," Ms. Nervous Wreck began uncertainly. "I-I am Sohma Ritsu, and…and I will be your teacher for Values Education…f-for the benefit of those who are new to the class, I apologize for not telling you ahead of time that my clan is in-charge of running the school. Sometimes, I can be so inconsiderate, so please forgive me for that."

You sweatdropped. Your teacher sure was pretty apologetic.

"N-Now let's start the class…will that be acceptable to you?" she asked timidly.

You nodded.

"Hmm…attendance first." She began checking the names of your classmates. Two names after yours, the student was called in absent.

Your sensei looked upset. "Why, I wonder what happened to the child. Ah, she must have gotten sick…sick of my teaching. Yes, that must be it. I must have pushed her into illness. Ah kami-sama, how shameful of me!!! I'M SORRY!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!"

You freaked out as she began to tear her scalp apart, but then, eventually, calmed down. She sweetly went to the next name, until the roll call was done.

"OK…let's talk about the value of honesty. Class, if it will not trouble you too much, will you please take a minute to think of a situation that can illustrate that value? I mean, if it won't be too difficult for your part?" When the entire class blinked at her, she smiled apologetically. "I-I'm sorry…was I too bossy when I asked you that? Y-You don't have to do it if it takes to much work. G-Gomen nasai…I told you, I can be inconsiderate."

You raised your hand. "Um, M-Miss Ritsu?"

The whole class plunged into silence. Even the teacher herself stopped.

Suddenly, the classroom was filled with laughter. You were starting to feel dumber and dumber every passing minute.

Just then, Ritsu-sensei howled in horror.

"W-What did I say?" you managed to mumble.

"Nothing of national significance," replied your seatmate cheekily. "It's just that, well, Ritsu-sensei is male."

Your eyes widened. "WHAT?!!!" Your eyes went to the bawling teacher in front of you. "T-This very beautiful young woman is actually a man?! But the clothes…" You looked at your sensei's kimono-like clothes that single young women wear.

"The Sohma men has three cross-dressing people in the family," explained one of your classmates helpfully.

You've met Sohma Momiji and the Values sensei. Who could the other one be then?

"I'm sorry!!!" screeched your sensei. "I have misled some innocent child regarding my gender…it's so shameful! I'm sorry!!! I swear to the heavens above that I am so SORRY!!!!!"

You all inched away subtly from Ritsu-sensei.

"Even the heavens will not pity on my soul! I have deceived her…fooled her…deluded her…hoodwinked her…misinformed her…cheated her…misled, defrauded, swindled…ah, heavens, I do not deserve to live anymore!!!" he continued.

You flinched when you heard someone behind you yawn.

This sound reached the ears of Ritsu. He froze, then bulldozed his way towards your classmate. "Egad! Now I bored you!!! Aaah, when will my evilness ever stop???!! I am so pathetic, so bothersome," he sobbed. "I'm sorry…I'M SORRY!!!" He looked around. "I must…I must repent…"

"Ritsu-sensei, please calm down," you begged as he started picking up desks and chairs and slamming them on his head. Not contented, he started banging his head on the wall. You gasped; he might hurt himself seriously!

Your classmate patted you. "Don't worry, this is just a fanfic. Our teacher would survive."

Another classmate agreed. "And besides, the Sohma clan is rich. They have every ability to pay for every damaged facility in the academy."

You turned your attention back at your teacher, who was running around the classroom frantically, pausing every other second to scream in horror, then continuing his marathon.

He then froze. "Ah, I just thought of the most perfect repentance for all my sins to my class!" He suddenly took your hand and dragged you out of the classroom. "I shall now deliver you out of this educational hell! I will personally lead you out of here, and everyone can follow our great exodus-oof!" He slammed on the wall of the room.

Silence.

"Wow, he must have been knocked out cold," one of your classmates remarked.

You bent down and cupped his face. "Ritsu-sensei, don't worry, I forgive you."

The teacher suddenly opened his eyes. "R-Really?" he whispered weakly, for the first time, smiling genuinely.

You felt your heart melt. "Uh-huh."

"Thanks…" He then fell unconscious. You smiled. He was so easy to please. You made up your mind to attend his classes everyday.

"Wow, don't look now, but one of the Sohma gods are coming!" whispered someone beside you. You looked up and saw Sohma Hatori heading your way, face solemn and grave.

"I see that he has broken into a rampage again," he said, kneeling down beside you. He looked at the broken desks and chairs in the classroom. "Poor things," he muttered. He picked his cousin up and looked at all of you somberly. "To the laboratory, all of you." He turned his back on you and the class and headed for the school clinic.

Beside you, your classmates sighed dreamily. You recognized your sigh among them. A Sohma god he was.

You and your classmates piled into the school laboratory. It was time for Science.

tsuzuku