Star Trek Voyager: Their Pokémon Adventure
Chapter 2
Pokémon Food and Drooling Over Women
*in Sickbay*
Doctor: Lorelei, Lance, you're both fine. However, Lorelei, your...um...
Lorelei: Pokémon, Doctor.
Doctor: ...Pokémon have injured Captain Janeway...
Lorelei: It was her fault. She let Pikachu out!
Doctor: But it wasn't serious.
Lance: Wow. Pikachu should've sent her into Dreamland. What is she made of, anyway?
Doctor: Coffee.
Lance: Huh?
Doctor: Never mind. Just don't tell her I said that.
*Later, in the mess hall*
Lorelei *sitting down at the back with Janeway, Chakotay, Paris, Kim and Lance* :Wow. This is a busy place. I hope this tastes good.
Lance: Of course it is.
Lorelei *letting Pikachu out*: Here, Pikachu. *hands him a canister of Pokémon food*
Pikachu *in a happy tone*: Pi Pika!
Tom: Ooh, let me try!
Janeway: Tom, that's-
Lorelei *covering Janeway's mouth*: *in a sweet tone of voice* Go ahead Tom.
*Tom chews the morsel*
Harry: Ooh, let me try! *Takes one*
Chakotay: Yeah, me too! *Takes one*
Pikachu: Pika Piiii!
Lorelei *letting go of Janeway* :How do you like it?
Tom: I feel weird. *face slackens* *in a drunken tone* Captain, did you just grow twenty years younger or what? *Moves closer to her*
Janeway *Moving away from Tom's advances*: Oh what is the answer. What the heck happened? *Glares at Tom* Get off me, Ensign! Chakotay!
Harry *getting in front of Lorelei*: Hey, Lorelei, would you like to go out with me?
Lorelei: Um...
Chakotay *getting in front of Lorelei, pushing Harry away*: No, me, pick me!
Lorelei: I'm currently not available today...
Harry *grabbing Lorelei's arm*: She's mine!
Chakotay *grabbing Lorelei's other arm*: Mine, I tell you, mine!
*Harry and Chakotay pull Lorelei to each other*
Lorelei: Pikachu! Thundershock!
*Harry and Chakotay are electrocuted*
Janeway: Huh? Lorelei, aren't-
Lorelei: Shock-resistant clothes.
Lance: Wow. Pokémon food is like getting drunk on booze. *grins*
Janeway: Can I try one? Maybe it doesn't affect women as well as men.
Lance: Go ahead, sweetie.
*Janeway gives Lance the Janeway Death Glare™, full blast*
Lance *cringing*: Uh, never mind.
Janeway *taking a piece*: Maybe we should program it in the replicator for the Pokémon. *eats the food* Wow. It tastes like coffee!
Lance *muttering*: Come on, come on... *wider grin*
Janeway: Hmm. Didn't affect me. *walks off, dragging the men*
Lance: Oh man!
Lorelei: Pikachu, come on... *picks him up*
Pikachu: Chu!
Lance *looking at the half full canister*: Hmmm...
*Later, in the captain's quarters, on the couch*
Janeway: Lorelei, how do I beat the Elite Four?
Lorelei: Kathryn, if you're trying to solicit some tips from me, I advise you to engage in a battle with me.
Janeway: 0800 in Holodeck 1?
Lorelei: Sure-
*doors swish open, revealing Lance naked*
Lorelei *turning*: LANCE! YOU BASTARD!
Lance: So, Kathy, why don't you have sex-
*Janeway slaps Lance*
Janeway: Lance, as I told you-
Lance *tackling Janeway*: We're going to have some fun tonight-
Lorelei *seething*: Pikachu! Head butt!
Lance: Ow! Lorelei! Hey, why am I naked? Where am I?
Janeway *still slapping Lance*: Bastard. *keeps at it*
Lance: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Lorelei: I'm leaving. *steps on Lance*
Lance: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Lorelei *without looking back*: Ooh. Sorry Lance.
Lance: Why the hell is your heart so cold?!
Lorelei: Good question.
******************************************************
o.0 What's going to happen next? Will Lance finally get Janeway's point? Will Tom, Harry, and Chakotay recover from their experience? Will Harry and Chakotay try to win Lorelei's cold heart? Will Lorelei dash their hopes and dreams?
*In the Q continuum*
Q: I guess I should step in.
CaptainKJ: Not if I can help it, Q!
q: Aunt Kathy!
CaptainKJ: q! Hello, how have you been doing?
Q: Excuse me?
CaptainKJ: Yes, Q?
Q: When can I step in?
CaptainKJ: Later, Q. Much later.