Lost in Darkness
Author's Notes;
Thank you so much to everyone who has read this and reviewed, this is my first LOTR story and there was little action, mucho angst but I love Frodo and Sam so much that I had to write it. Yellowrose, oh please write more Sam stories, I loved your first two!! I'm glad there are Sam fans of such caliber. Melissa Ryan, thank you for the review, it was in-depth and I appreciated it. Trilliah, I love your stories as well! I'm glad you also wrote such an in-depth review, its really nice to hear what other Sam fans have to say. Giggled about the torment analysis. Also, to Althea, FrodoBaggins87, me! and Lady-Willowish, thank you so much.
"No treassssure, no halfling." The other four only caught a glimpse of the jagged knife the thing had been carrying before it ran off.
"No!!" Frodo cried out and dashed after it before the others could stop him. Frodo didn't know how he was able to move as fast as he did but something was pushing him forward and when he couldn't physically see the creature in the darkness he followed the sounds it made.
He forgot about his three companions, though he could hear them calling his name from somewhere behind.
Finally, when it seemed as though he couldn't run another step, the goblin stopped and Frodo crouched near the wall hoping it couldn't see him.
He gasped, though, giving himself away when he saw the familiar shape on the ground bound and gagged.
"Sam!" Frodo cried out, stopped from helping his friend only when the creature put its knife to the gardener's throat.
Sam's large, hazel eyes lit up seeing Frodo and he struggled again to free himself, stopping when the cold, sharp knife touched his skin.
"Tricksss, halfings. Want treasssure from dragon's belly, want magic bauble." It pointed again to the Ring and held Sam's head up for Frodo to meet the other hobbit's gaze.
"No?" the thing asked teasingly, putting pressure on the knife. A trickle of blood ran down Sam's collar.
"Stop it! Leave him alone!"
"Magic bauble." The creature hissed venomously. "Sam" Frodo whispered seeing the determination and calmness in his dear friend's eyes.
He expected Frodo to chose the Ring over him and he was trying to say that it was all right. All of the love Sam had for Frodo, how touched he was that his master had come after him showed on his face and in those eyes.
Frodo imagined never seeing anything but death in those eyes and his courage broke apart. He could not, he was not that strong.
"Forgive me" Frodo whispered to no one in particular and pulled the chain off of his neck, ready to place it in the goblin's greedy hand.
Sam tried to cry out but it was muffled by the gag. Time seemed to slow down, the air was filled with a strange, singing sound. A wet-sounding * thonk* followed and Frodo's eyes widened.
So did the creature's.
An arrow was sticking out of the thing's chest. Turning, Frodo thought he saw Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Gimli standing a fair distance away. He could only make out the elf's light hair and features and three other shadows he assumed to be his other companions in the darkness.
Frodo, not thinking clearly, pulled the Ring back and the goblin collapsed backwards without a sound, its mad, rolling eyes finally closed.
It was dead.
It was quiet in the cavern until everyone came to their senses and the four interlopers ran towards the Ringbearer.
Frodo had only one thought, however, and that was helping Sam. He yanked the gag out of Sam's mouth.
"Mr. Frodo!" Sam gasped. "What're doin' here?"
Frodo just looked at him and shook his head, desperately trying to undo the knots in the ropes holding Samwise.
"Let me, Frodo." Aragorn was suddenly there and he cut the ropes away like soft butter.
Sam immediately began massaging his wrists but didn't get far before Frodo pounced on him.
The other Fellowship members just smiled, sizing up the small gardener to make sure he was all right.
Frodo held Sam as tightly as he could, unable to hold in his sobs. Sam's strong arms wrapped around his master after a bit, though much more reservedly.
Finally, Frodo moved back but kept his arms around Sam. "Did you really think we wouldn't come after you the moment you were missing, Samwise Gamgee?! What were you thinking? Why did you fall behind? You could have been killed, don't you understand how dangerous it is here? You.I.Oh, blast it."
Frodo hugged Sam again. "We would never leave you behind." His muffled words were heard only by Sam. "I.what would I have done if, anything had happened?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Frodo." Sam said quietly, feeling the bruises on his body and now his heart much more keenly.
"Frodo" Gandalf finally spoke up, cutting through the tension and frustration that Frodo was feeling at Sam's reserved shame.
"We must leave here."
Boromir had to ask the new arrivals, however. "What are you doing here? How did you find us?"
"Well" Pippin spoke up before anyone else could. "We were just sitting there quietly, until Legolas said he hoped Sam would be found soon. Then Gimli said something we couldn't hear but Legolas could and he said something back in a language I couldn't understand. Then Gimli said that Legolas couldn't find his way out of a watercloset let alone these mines and Legolas said his skills were far superior to that of any shrunken, hairy, Man-leftover and Gimli went all red and started growling and Legolas stood up and asked if he wanted to challenge him and Gimli said he had just been waiting for an opportunity then we heard all kind of shrieks and yells and banging and Merry and I just left Legolas and Gimli to argue even though we couldn't really see. They started following us and they were still arguing and we just eventually ran into you. Lucky, huh?"
"Very lucky" said Aragorn, swallowing his laughter. Gandalf made no such attempt and threw back his head, laughing unashamedly.
Gimli and Legolas were trying hard not to look at each other or anyone else. Frodo bit back a chuckle.
Only Sam still looked troubled. He didn't say anything, not even when Merry helped him with his pack and Frodo hovered around him as the others spoke of what they had seen and where it had come from. More importantly, there was the fear that there would be more such things that recognized them enough to be a menace.
Frodo wished that Sam would speak to him as they began walking again, seemingly normal once more, upwards to gain passage through the mines.
The Ringbearer couldn't look away from the ugly red welts on Sam's wrists and ankles, or the bruises and cuts on his ruddy face.
He put a hand on the gardener's shoulder part to make sure that Sam stayed right beside him and to try and comfort his friend.
Frodo could feel the troubled emotions radiating off of Sam and it bothered him, but he knew that pushing Sam would only make the hobbit clam up more. Gamgee stubbornness was a force unto itself.
When the Fellowship finally sat down to rest, exhausted by the recent events and the stress of being inside the mines, Sam still had not spoken a word.
Pippin had tried making him laugh and telling him jokes, to no avail.
Merry had been talking intently to the gardener, motioning to the others and himself, explaining but not chastising Sam, telling him what had happened when they discovered he was missing.
Legolas had even tried comforting the hobbit, with his gentle voice and musical language. Frodo had thought that at least that would cheer Sam up, seeing as how much his friend loved elves. Nothing.
Something had happened to Sam, something beyond any of their understanding. There were thoughts in the humble gardener's head that Frodo could not decipher and he knew it was eating away at Sam.
Frodo looked down at the Ring, hearing, as he always did, the whisperings in the back of his mind, Its siren call never wavering.
It was distracting him, it was a poison that was infecting the Fellowship, even all of Middle Earth.
Frodo could feel it changing him, that he thought he could accept. He had taken the responsibility of the Ring, he must deal with the consequences.
But Merry and Pippin, the brave warriors, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir. Sam. He could not deal with the Ring changing them.
Sam's fears and doubts showed on his open face as clearly as they always did. He had always been so easy to read, one of the many things Frodo loved about him.
He could never conceal what he felt, his concern for those he cared for stronger than anything else. Dear Sam.
Frodo was gripping the gardener's shoulder harder than he intended, thinking of how close he came to losing his friend, his greatest friend in life. In a heartbeat it would have been over.
Frodo looked at Sam and half-jumped to meet the other hobbit's hazel eyes. "Mr. Frodo, sir? Its all right now." And Sam took Frodo's hand and squeezed it gently in his own, work-hardened one.
He turned to look straight ahead but Frodo didn't look away. It wasn't all right, and both knew it. It would never be all right again. The darkness that Sam had been lost in was one that Frodo felt himself being pulled down into. The Ring's evil power was consuming him.
All he had was the strength of those around him, Gandalf's wise words, the Shire's reminder in his cousins and Sam's unconditional love the most potent incentive of all.
And the Ring knew it.
The Woods of Lothlorien
"It is what will come to pass, should you fail"- Galadriel, The Fellowship of the Ring
The night grew colder and Frodo couldn't sleep. He felt as though he would never sleep again. Galadriel, so beautiful and wise, yet so terrible would not leave his mind. Her words were tormenting him.
He could not look upon the grief-stricken, yet sleeping, peaceful faces of his companion. What he had seen was a nightmarish hell, so close to each of them that it seemed fear and darkness was all they had left.
Gandalf was gone. Frodo felt fresh tears prickle at his eyes. The wisest, most prepared of them all had fallen into shadow, as Galadriel had put it. The Ringbearer did not know what they would all do without them.
He was terrified that it would not be too long before another would fall. Each had come so close and would come closer.
The woods were beautiful, however. It was easy to be awed by them. But it was a cold beauty, it made Frodo sad, as it had Sam so many months before, to see it.
Sam. Thinking of the humble hobbit drew Frodo a bit out of his melancholy. But just for a moment.
Then, terrifying memories hit him with full force. The taunting voice of the Ring, the evil eye of Sauron surrounded by flame and Galadriel's warning of a terrible future.
But most of all, Sam. Sam who loved things that grew, life and beauty. Sam who epitomized what was strong and good within Middle Earth and the Shire. Shackled and whipped.
The hopelessness on his friend's face still made Frodo want to cry out. Sam was battered and dirty, cringing when an orc brought down his whip upon his back.
Frodo saw Sam worked to death, skin and bones. Or facing down orcs with nothing but his considerable courage, then paying the price. He saw Sam's lifeless body sprawled out on the wasted fields of the Shire as orcs stepped on it, flames in the distance casting a sinister glow.
Frodo moaned, his heart breaking. He put his hands over his eyes and jumped when he heard a noise behind him.
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam's quiet voice jerked Frodo out of his reverie. "Frodo?" Sam asked again, concerned about Frodo's pale face and ragged breathing.
The woods around them were quiet, the silvery air peaceful, so distant from Frodo's agonizing thoughts.
"Sam, I-I didn't know you were there. Why aren't you asleep?"
"Couldn't sir. I, I was a-wonderin' where you were off to." Sam looked sheepishly at Frodo before kicking a pebble on the ground.
"You are not my keeper Sam! Why can't I just get a few moments of peace?! Stop trailing me like you're my nursemaid!!" Frodo regretted his sharp tone the minute the words were out of his mouth.
Sam, his hurt showing on his face, turned around wordlessly and began to leave.
"Wait! Sam, I." Sam stopped but didn't turn to face his master.
The images of Sam, broken, beaten or dead, assaulted Frodo once again and he began to sob.
Sam, frightened, ran to Frodo. "Mr. Frodo?! A-Are you all right? Please tell me!" Sam looked beseechingly at Frodo, wanting the distance between them to close again, just for a moment.
"Can't you tell your Sam?" Frodo met the hazel eyes he loved so well and wondered if Sam would ever understand what it was like to see a friend on the precipice of danger and not be able to help them.
Sam, looking at Frodo, saw the growing darkness in the Ringbearer's blue eyes and wept for the Frodo he had known all his life. He did not know the stranger his master was turning into, but he knew he would follow Frodo to the edges of Middle Earth, to the Afterlife, if needs be.
Neither knew that losing the other was the thing most feared. Other friendships, stronger love had been broken and dashed against the evil they all faced. No one, except perhaps Gandalf glimpsing from the side of the hobbit's lives, could understand the devotion each had for the other.
For now however, Frodo was fighting against the darkness both was foundering in and Sam was holding onto his friend as tightly as he could. He loved him too much to let him go on alone.
"I can't tell you Sam. I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! You.you know that, I." Frodo struggled with the words he wanted to say so badly and that Sam needed to hear.
"You are worth this."
Sam returned this embrace with full force and they held onto each other until the sun's rays broke through.
In later days, starved and dying on the slopes of Mt. Doom, they would hold each other's hand and return to that night in Lothlorien. Sam whispered the exact same words to Frodo as he picked him up and carried him to the fire's edge. Frodo just held onto Sam, no longer afraid of the darkness with Sam there to guide him.
Author's Notes;
Thank you so much to everyone who has read this and reviewed, this is my first LOTR story and there was little action, mucho angst but I love Frodo and Sam so much that I had to write it. Yellowrose, oh please write more Sam stories, I loved your first two!! I'm glad there are Sam fans of such caliber. Melissa Ryan, thank you for the review, it was in-depth and I appreciated it. Trilliah, I love your stories as well! I'm glad you also wrote such an in-depth review, its really nice to hear what other Sam fans have to say. Giggled about the torment analysis. Also, to Althea, FrodoBaggins87, me! and Lady-Willowish, thank you so much.
"No treassssure, no halfling." The other four only caught a glimpse of the jagged knife the thing had been carrying before it ran off.
"No!!" Frodo cried out and dashed after it before the others could stop him. Frodo didn't know how he was able to move as fast as he did but something was pushing him forward and when he couldn't physically see the creature in the darkness he followed the sounds it made.
He forgot about his three companions, though he could hear them calling his name from somewhere behind.
Finally, when it seemed as though he couldn't run another step, the goblin stopped and Frodo crouched near the wall hoping it couldn't see him.
He gasped, though, giving himself away when he saw the familiar shape on the ground bound and gagged.
"Sam!" Frodo cried out, stopped from helping his friend only when the creature put its knife to the gardener's throat.
Sam's large, hazel eyes lit up seeing Frodo and he struggled again to free himself, stopping when the cold, sharp knife touched his skin.
"Tricksss, halfings. Want treasssure from dragon's belly, want magic bauble." It pointed again to the Ring and held Sam's head up for Frodo to meet the other hobbit's gaze.
"No?" the thing asked teasingly, putting pressure on the knife. A trickle of blood ran down Sam's collar.
"Stop it! Leave him alone!"
"Magic bauble." The creature hissed venomously. "Sam" Frodo whispered seeing the determination and calmness in his dear friend's eyes.
He expected Frodo to chose the Ring over him and he was trying to say that it was all right. All of the love Sam had for Frodo, how touched he was that his master had come after him showed on his face and in those eyes.
Frodo imagined never seeing anything but death in those eyes and his courage broke apart. He could not, he was not that strong.
"Forgive me" Frodo whispered to no one in particular and pulled the chain off of his neck, ready to place it in the goblin's greedy hand.
Sam tried to cry out but it was muffled by the gag. Time seemed to slow down, the air was filled with a strange, singing sound. A wet-sounding * thonk* followed and Frodo's eyes widened.
So did the creature's.
An arrow was sticking out of the thing's chest. Turning, Frodo thought he saw Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Gimli standing a fair distance away. He could only make out the elf's light hair and features and three other shadows he assumed to be his other companions in the darkness.
Frodo, not thinking clearly, pulled the Ring back and the goblin collapsed backwards without a sound, its mad, rolling eyes finally closed.
It was dead.
It was quiet in the cavern until everyone came to their senses and the four interlopers ran towards the Ringbearer.
Frodo had only one thought, however, and that was helping Sam. He yanked the gag out of Sam's mouth.
"Mr. Frodo!" Sam gasped. "What're doin' here?"
Frodo just looked at him and shook his head, desperately trying to undo the knots in the ropes holding Samwise.
"Let me, Frodo." Aragorn was suddenly there and he cut the ropes away like soft butter.
Sam immediately began massaging his wrists but didn't get far before Frodo pounced on him.
The other Fellowship members just smiled, sizing up the small gardener to make sure he was all right.
Frodo held Sam as tightly as he could, unable to hold in his sobs. Sam's strong arms wrapped around his master after a bit, though much more reservedly.
Finally, Frodo moved back but kept his arms around Sam. "Did you really think we wouldn't come after you the moment you were missing, Samwise Gamgee?! What were you thinking? Why did you fall behind? You could have been killed, don't you understand how dangerous it is here? You.I.Oh, blast it."
Frodo hugged Sam again. "We would never leave you behind." His muffled words were heard only by Sam. "I.what would I have done if, anything had happened?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Frodo." Sam said quietly, feeling the bruises on his body and now his heart much more keenly.
"Frodo" Gandalf finally spoke up, cutting through the tension and frustration that Frodo was feeling at Sam's reserved shame.
"We must leave here."
Boromir had to ask the new arrivals, however. "What are you doing here? How did you find us?"
"Well" Pippin spoke up before anyone else could. "We were just sitting there quietly, until Legolas said he hoped Sam would be found soon. Then Gimli said something we couldn't hear but Legolas could and he said something back in a language I couldn't understand. Then Gimli said that Legolas couldn't find his way out of a watercloset let alone these mines and Legolas said his skills were far superior to that of any shrunken, hairy, Man-leftover and Gimli went all red and started growling and Legolas stood up and asked if he wanted to challenge him and Gimli said he had just been waiting for an opportunity then we heard all kind of shrieks and yells and banging and Merry and I just left Legolas and Gimli to argue even though we couldn't really see. They started following us and they were still arguing and we just eventually ran into you. Lucky, huh?"
"Very lucky" said Aragorn, swallowing his laughter. Gandalf made no such attempt and threw back his head, laughing unashamedly.
Gimli and Legolas were trying hard not to look at each other or anyone else. Frodo bit back a chuckle.
Only Sam still looked troubled. He didn't say anything, not even when Merry helped him with his pack and Frodo hovered around him as the others spoke of what they had seen and where it had come from. More importantly, there was the fear that there would be more such things that recognized them enough to be a menace.
Frodo wished that Sam would speak to him as they began walking again, seemingly normal once more, upwards to gain passage through the mines.
The Ringbearer couldn't look away from the ugly red welts on Sam's wrists and ankles, or the bruises and cuts on his ruddy face.
He put a hand on the gardener's shoulder part to make sure that Sam stayed right beside him and to try and comfort his friend.
Frodo could feel the troubled emotions radiating off of Sam and it bothered him, but he knew that pushing Sam would only make the hobbit clam up more. Gamgee stubbornness was a force unto itself.
When the Fellowship finally sat down to rest, exhausted by the recent events and the stress of being inside the mines, Sam still had not spoken a word.
Pippin had tried making him laugh and telling him jokes, to no avail.
Merry had been talking intently to the gardener, motioning to the others and himself, explaining but not chastising Sam, telling him what had happened when they discovered he was missing.
Legolas had even tried comforting the hobbit, with his gentle voice and musical language. Frodo had thought that at least that would cheer Sam up, seeing as how much his friend loved elves. Nothing.
Something had happened to Sam, something beyond any of their understanding. There were thoughts in the humble gardener's head that Frodo could not decipher and he knew it was eating away at Sam.
Frodo looked down at the Ring, hearing, as he always did, the whisperings in the back of his mind, Its siren call never wavering.
It was distracting him, it was a poison that was infecting the Fellowship, even all of Middle Earth.
Frodo could feel it changing him, that he thought he could accept. He had taken the responsibility of the Ring, he must deal with the consequences.
But Merry and Pippin, the brave warriors, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir. Sam. He could not deal with the Ring changing them.
Sam's fears and doubts showed on his open face as clearly as they always did. He had always been so easy to read, one of the many things Frodo loved about him.
He could never conceal what he felt, his concern for those he cared for stronger than anything else. Dear Sam.
Frodo was gripping the gardener's shoulder harder than he intended, thinking of how close he came to losing his friend, his greatest friend in life. In a heartbeat it would have been over.
Frodo looked at Sam and half-jumped to meet the other hobbit's hazel eyes. "Mr. Frodo, sir? Its all right now." And Sam took Frodo's hand and squeezed it gently in his own, work-hardened one.
He turned to look straight ahead but Frodo didn't look away. It wasn't all right, and both knew it. It would never be all right again. The darkness that Sam had been lost in was one that Frodo felt himself being pulled down into. The Ring's evil power was consuming him.
All he had was the strength of those around him, Gandalf's wise words, the Shire's reminder in his cousins and Sam's unconditional love the most potent incentive of all.
And the Ring knew it.
The Woods of Lothlorien
"It is what will come to pass, should you fail"- Galadriel, The Fellowship of the Ring
The night grew colder and Frodo couldn't sleep. He felt as though he would never sleep again. Galadriel, so beautiful and wise, yet so terrible would not leave his mind. Her words were tormenting him.
He could not look upon the grief-stricken, yet sleeping, peaceful faces of his companion. What he had seen was a nightmarish hell, so close to each of them that it seemed fear and darkness was all they had left.
Gandalf was gone. Frodo felt fresh tears prickle at his eyes. The wisest, most prepared of them all had fallen into shadow, as Galadriel had put it. The Ringbearer did not know what they would all do without them.
He was terrified that it would not be too long before another would fall. Each had come so close and would come closer.
The woods were beautiful, however. It was easy to be awed by them. But it was a cold beauty, it made Frodo sad, as it had Sam so many months before, to see it.
Sam. Thinking of the humble hobbit drew Frodo a bit out of his melancholy. But just for a moment.
Then, terrifying memories hit him with full force. The taunting voice of the Ring, the evil eye of Sauron surrounded by flame and Galadriel's warning of a terrible future.
But most of all, Sam. Sam who loved things that grew, life and beauty. Sam who epitomized what was strong and good within Middle Earth and the Shire. Shackled and whipped.
The hopelessness on his friend's face still made Frodo want to cry out. Sam was battered and dirty, cringing when an orc brought down his whip upon his back.
Frodo saw Sam worked to death, skin and bones. Or facing down orcs with nothing but his considerable courage, then paying the price. He saw Sam's lifeless body sprawled out on the wasted fields of the Shire as orcs stepped on it, flames in the distance casting a sinister glow.
Frodo moaned, his heart breaking. He put his hands over his eyes and jumped when he heard a noise behind him.
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam's quiet voice jerked Frodo out of his reverie. "Frodo?" Sam asked again, concerned about Frodo's pale face and ragged breathing.
The woods around them were quiet, the silvery air peaceful, so distant from Frodo's agonizing thoughts.
"Sam, I-I didn't know you were there. Why aren't you asleep?"
"Couldn't sir. I, I was a-wonderin' where you were off to." Sam looked sheepishly at Frodo before kicking a pebble on the ground.
"You are not my keeper Sam! Why can't I just get a few moments of peace?! Stop trailing me like you're my nursemaid!!" Frodo regretted his sharp tone the minute the words were out of his mouth.
Sam, his hurt showing on his face, turned around wordlessly and began to leave.
"Wait! Sam, I." Sam stopped but didn't turn to face his master.
The images of Sam, broken, beaten or dead, assaulted Frodo once again and he began to sob.
Sam, frightened, ran to Frodo. "Mr. Frodo?! A-Are you all right? Please tell me!" Sam looked beseechingly at Frodo, wanting the distance between them to close again, just for a moment.
"Can't you tell your Sam?" Frodo met the hazel eyes he loved so well and wondered if Sam would ever understand what it was like to see a friend on the precipice of danger and not be able to help them.
Sam, looking at Frodo, saw the growing darkness in the Ringbearer's blue eyes and wept for the Frodo he had known all his life. He did not know the stranger his master was turning into, but he knew he would follow Frodo to the edges of Middle Earth, to the Afterlife, if needs be.
Neither knew that losing the other was the thing most feared. Other friendships, stronger love had been broken and dashed against the evil they all faced. No one, except perhaps Gandalf glimpsing from the side of the hobbit's lives, could understand the devotion each had for the other.
For now however, Frodo was fighting against the darkness both was foundering in and Sam was holding onto his friend as tightly as he could. He loved him too much to let him go on alone.
"I can't tell you Sam. I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! You.you know that, I." Frodo struggled with the words he wanted to say so badly and that Sam needed to hear.
"You are worth this."
Sam returned this embrace with full force and they held onto each other until the sun's rays broke through.
In later days, starved and dying on the slopes of Mt. Doom, they would hold each other's hand and return to that night in Lothlorien. Sam whispered the exact same words to Frodo as he picked him up and carried him to the fire's edge. Frodo just held onto Sam, no longer afraid of the darkness with Sam there to guide him.