Chapter 6: Shit Hits the Fan
Rogue headed down the hall, finding the right room she tried the handle and peered in, Kitty was sitting on one of the beds, her laptop upon it, it was plugged into the wall, it seemed like she was trying to check her email. "Jared just confronted me again…he just can't get into his head that I'm gonna marry Remy eventually."
"What'd you say to him?" Kitty raised her head to look at Rogue.
"That it's never gonna happen between me and him," Rogue shrugged.
"And what'd he say?"
"We'll see about that," Rogue shrugged, "that's what he said."
Kitty frowned a little, "and you're not worried?" she straightened up.
"No…why should I be?" Rogue felt slightly apprehensive now.
"Because he'd do anything to break you guys up!"
"Remy wouldn't believe him," Rogue shrugged, "not over me."
"If you say so…" Kitty shrugged.
There was a prompt knock at the door, Rogue prayed to herself that it wasn't Jared, she reached over and opened it, Remy stood there.
"Remy…I just left you…"
"I know…" Remy said, "You dropped this…." He said, he reached over holding out a chain, Rogue recognised it as the one she always wore, the one Remy had given her for Christmas.
"Shit…it must have snapped…"
"it did, but I managed to fix it," Remy said, "one of the links were slightly loose is all," he said.
Kitty got up and headed towards the bathroom, they heard her sneezing a moment later.
"She's allergic to you," Rogue responded with a smirk.
Remy smiled, he put the necklace around Rogue's throat, and clasped it, "there we go."
Rogue gestured for him to come all the way in and shut the door, "you could have left it until tomorrow, you know," she said.
"Yeah, I know, I should be having a cold shower, but hell, didn't want you bein' without the necklace," he sat down on the bed nearest the door, the one Kitty had been sitting on. "Also forgot to tell you I love you before I said goodnight," he added.
Rogue smiled, "I love you too."
And she expected him to smile, only he wasn't because he wasn't really looking at her, he was looking at Kitty's laptop.
"What…is this…" he whispered.
Rogue's eyes shot open, suddenly she felt a very strange sensation building up from her stomach as if she were being pulled backwards from the insides.
He was looking at her email to Kitty.
"What the fuck is this?!" Remy's voice was suddenly raised, he gestured to the email, he glanced to the screen again, the email was stating plainly the words he wished never to have seen.
***********************************Email Start****************************************
Kitty,
I'm in trouble, Jared is continuing to harass me any chance he gets, he's saying things like I love him even though I tell him I don't, and the scary thing is I know I have some feelings for him and even though I love Remy I think I want to be with Jared just because I'm curious about him…but god, I can't do that to Remy…can I?
I just keep thinking of how Jared can offer me what Remy can't, its plaguing me day and night and the guilt is weighing me down so much it makes me sick to the stomach.
Remy wanted to give me a promise ring, how can I take a promise ring from him when I don't deserve it? How can it be a commitment between us if I think I want to be with another guy?
I want to be able to tell Remy about Jared saying he loves me, but I know if I do he's gonna ask me how I feel, and I don't know how I'd reply…Kitty I really need your advice,
Email me back ASAP,
- Rogue.
***********************************Email End****************************************
Rogue couldn't speak, she was at a loss, how could she explain it now? How could she? He could see it in black and white on the screen in front of him – and it didn't work very well in her favour.
Kitty returned from the bathroom, a tissue under her nose, "I think I'm coming in for a cold or something," she stated, she then noticed the strange uncomfortable silence between Remy and Rogue, and noticed Remy was glancing at the laptop. "Hey! What the fuck are you doing reading my private emails!" she snatched the laptop away closing it, pulling the cord out of the wall.
"It's too late…" Rogue whispered, "He saw…"
"He saw what?" Kitty asked worriedly.
"I saw the email," Remy spat, "jesus, the two of you keeping secrets, Kitty, you're meant to be my friend, and you…" he pointed to Rogue, "my fucking fiancée now, fucking harbouring secret feelings for every other guy."
"One guy, Remy, ONE guys, who I've told time and time again I will never leave you."
"If that's so why did you not tell me?!" he demanded, he got up, crossing the room angrily, his shoulders shaking with anger. "And you!" He shook his hand at Kitty angrily, "You could have told me! You know my email address, you know how to call me, you could have said!"
"I tried to get her to tell you! It isn't my place to tell you!" Kitty yelled back at him.
"Don't you dare drag her into this," Rogue stood between them quite suddenly, "this isn't her fault! It's mine, okay, its mine, so if you're gonna yell at someone, yell at me, but don't take your anger out on her," Rogue hissed.
Remy looked at her, "god I'm so fucking disgusted with you, Marie," Remy turned away, "I trusted you, I gave you ample opportunity time and time again to tell me any secrets you needed to!"
"And I knew if I told you this is exactly the way you'd take it!" Rogue screamed at him, "don't you think it was hard for me going to sleep every night with the guilt and finding out it was still there when I woke up?!"
Remy frowned, and just looked away from her, arms folded stubbornly.
"I'm sick of fighting with you, and I knew bein' honest would start another fight – and as I predicted here we are, yelling at each other again instead of loving each other like we should be!"
Remy didn't speak for moments, then two moments later, after an uncomfortable silence, his voice shaking he said "What can he give you that I can't?"
Rogue looked away from him now, eyes tearing up, "touch."
"With Mutant X," Kitty interrupted.
"The stuff got you raped, and you're still seduced by the thought of taking it again to achieve what you know is nothing but a cheat."
"You wouldn't understand," Rogue moved away from them both, she leaned against the wall, "how could either of you possibly comprehend what it's like never knowing the touch of another?" she asked. "I've had tiny samples, fragments of what everyone else has too much of, and I want a piece of it, is that so selfish."
"Yes," Remy said.
"As if you've never been selfish, Remy? You've fucked women left, right and centre all over this continent, is that not selfish?" she asked, "You stopped Bella Donna from having an abortion – is that not selfish?!" she demanded, "don't I deserve to feel what you've felt, the pleasure, the love, the touch of a lover!!?"
"Not with him," Remy said.
"I don't want him! I want you!"
"Then why keep it from me?!" he demanded, "why didn't you tell me from the start!?! If its passion and pleasure and the touch of a lover you want, I could have given it to you! I was willing to give it to you upstairs twenty minutes ago! Why is it not enough!?!"
"It is enough, for fucks sake, Remy, I've told Jared I want nothing to do with him!"
Remy looked away hurt, his eyes looking glassy, "but you didn't tell me."
"I didn't want to hurt you!" Rogue stated.
"Well you have! You lied to me, you said nothing was wrong…and y'know what, it makes you a hypocrite! You preached to me about my lies and how you'd never lie to me, and yet here you are, you lied to me!"
Rogue looked away, "I know…" her eyes teared up.
"Oh don't start that fucking crocodile tear shit," he walked away, "I'm not falling for it again, every time we argue you cry because you know it gets to me, and I'm not falling for it again," he clenched his firsts.
"It's not crocodile tears, you asshole!" Rogue yelled at him, "it's the real thing!"
"How am I supposed to know what's real and what isn't, I thought I could trust you! That was real! Turned out to be a fallacy!"
Rogue looked at him, "I love you, and that's real enough for me!"
"At least until Jared comes offerin' drugs to solve your problems," he hissed at her.
"That's a cruel thing to say!" Rogue frowned, "and I really don't care about the drugs, I just want to be with you, please don't be mad at me."
"I need time to think, I want you to go back to Bayville with the others, and let me be on Muir Island 'til I have time to think about this," he sighed.
"What's to think about?" Rogue demanded worriedly.
"If I want to spend the rest of my life with a woman who almost let me go for a cheap thrill," he muttered, and with that left the room.
Rogue put her hands to her face and burst out crying, and the only words she could hear in the room were that of Kitty.
"I told you so."
"Why didn't I listen?!" Rogue sobbed, her voice angry, she leaned back against the wall.
"Because you're only human," Kitty sighed, "he'll calm down eventually. Just give him time…" she shrugged.
"What if he doesn't?"
"Then you start all over again in getting him back," Kitty said. "But I don't think it's going to come to that…jesus, Rogue, he loves you, he's not gonna give up that easy…"
"I hope you're right," Rogue dried her eyes with another sob, "god knows, you've been right about everything else…"