In reality, it took Theresa less than a minute to climb the stairway, but it seemed to her that the walk was a crucial turning point, ending forever the life she had always dreamt she would have. It was strange, walking to her execution for the second time in two days. Certainly the Fate that she had always trusted in must be having some fun with her, even topping it off with the irony of "ascending" into the hell in which she would spend the rest of her existence.
She finally reached her room and turned the doorknob, only to be greeted by an enthusiastic Ethan. Suddenly, and for the first time in their entire relationship, she felt much older than him. He was such a boy, really; still able to believe that things could actually work themselves out, and too naïve to realize that nothing would ever be okay again.
Idealistic or not, Ethan could still pick up on Theresa's feelings, and his smile soon turned into a worried frown. "What's wrong, Theresa? Did Julian give you a tough time agreeing to the divorce?"
Theresa laughed a cold, hard laugh that Ethan had never heard from her before and which chilled him to the bone. "No, actually I mostly talked with Alistair, and he was very accommodating, wants to get the papers signed right away."
"Well, then, what's the problem?"
"It's a matter of the terms of the divorce. Who gets what." Seeing a slight look of disappointment begin to emerge on Ethan's face, Theresa quickly amended, "Don't worry, I didn't ask for any money or property or anything like that. It's just that he wants one little thing of mine: Ethan-Martin."
Ethan tried to hide his dread, and moved in to comfort Theresa. "Don't worry about anything; I won't let them do this to us. We'll take them to court, and get custody. It'll be alright."
Again with the naïveté! She herself would certainly never have that luxury again. "Didn't you learn anything from being the Crane heir, or even the whole Death Row fiasco?! If a Crane wants something, manipulating the courts poses no problem. Hell, he might not even have to go that far. Lord knows I've done plenty of crazy things that they could use to bring my fitness as a parent into serious doubt."
Ethan wouldn't budge. "I just don't accept that. There has to be some way that you can keep your baby."
Now came the horrible part, the defining moment. She swallowed hard and began. "There is. No matter what, my baby WILL stay here. I was given the option of remaining here as well as Julian's wife."
Theresa watched as all of the color drained from Ethan's face. Please Ethan, understand, she thought to herself.
Finally he spoke, his voice all choked up. "What are you saying, Theresa?"
This was the part she'd feared. She'd have to be firm if she was going to go through with this. "I'm saying that I'm sorry, Ethan, but I won't be able to marry you."
The expressions now on Ethan's face defied description. "No, I don't accept that. There must be a way for us!"
Theresa shook her head. "Not any way that I could keep my baby, and I'm NOT leaving him alone to be raised with Crane values. I could never do that, and I don't think you'd be able to love a person who could."
"But, we love each other!"
Theresa smiled, knowing that if she stopped, she'd unleash a flood of tears. "Well, Ethan, I guess you were right before. Love isn't always enough to keep two people together."
The hurt in Ethan's eyes quickly turned to rage. "It's all Julian's fault for getting you into this. His, and Alistair's for trapping you here. I could kill both of them right now!"
Theresa grabbed Ethan and held him tightly. "Promise me you won't even think that anymore! That wouldn't solve anything: you'd be in prison and they certainly wouldn't give me custody in a case like that. Face it, we lost. I'm sorry for causing you all this pain."
Affected by her reasoning, Ethan calmed down a little. "Then, what will we do now?"
"You'll go on with your life, maybe one day finding a nice girl who won't cause you so much grief. I'll live here with the title of Mrs. Crane, doing whatever it takes to protect Little Ethan, shielding him as much as I can. But whatever happens, whatever I might become by staying here, I just want you to know that I'll never stop loving you."
"Oh, Theresa, there'll never be anyone else for me." Ethan held her, the torment of being so close to her quickly becoming unbearable. "I have to go now, or else I won't be able to."
Theresa nodded, but grabbed him again. "Please," she whispered, "just one last kiss." Ethan complied, and Theresa was overwhelmed by the enormous amount of desire and longing surging down onto her lips. After the initial shock, she met his passion fully, the knowledge that this would in all probability be their last kiss only heightening the bittersweet ecstasy of the moment. An eternity seemed to pass in that kiss; Theresa felt as if the life that should have been in front of them had been condensed into this one moment, and she drank in thirstily. Then, suddenly, it was over, and Theresa was alone.
She had lost him, this time for good. Before, she could always cling to the hope that Ethan would take her back, but now she couldn't allow herself the comfort of denial, because the breakup had been of her own volition. The strangest part of it was that, as heartbroken as she was, she did not regret her choice for a second, or even, in a way, all of the circumstances leading up to it. After all, if she had not lied to Ethan about his paternity, flown to Bermuda, gotten drunk, married Julian, and then slept with him, she would not have little Ethan-Martin, whom she now loved more than life itself, and even more than his namesake.
Walking over to his cradle, Theresa checked on the baby, who was still sleeping soundly. Gazing at his perfect features, Theresa shuddered to think of the abortion that she had almost had, or of the suicide attempt she had made while still pregnant. Banishing those thoughts from her mind, Theresa vowed to survive the life ahead, if only because her son needed her. He would become her everything and she would not fail him as she had everyone else that she cared about.
Unwillingly, Theresa's thoughts drifted to Ivy. Had she made a similar vow all those years ago? The Ivy that Theresa knew was cold and heartless, capable of just about anything, but she had many times heard her mother say that the former Crane wife had once been a spirited and caring person, until years of exposure to the Crane evil had slowly tainted her. They were so similar in so many ways; would that one day happen to her as well? Theresa imagined herself, some twenty years older, downing painkillers and champagne while zooming around in a wheelchair, planning the downfall of all who crossed her path. What would Ethan think of her then? Suddenly overcome with anguish and fear, Theresa threw herself onto her bed, and cried until there were no more tears left inside of her, until she was no longer even capable of crying.
*****
"Do you know what's wrong, Eve?" Sheridan asked, her voice teeming with anxiety. Some tests had been done on Antonio to ascertain the reason behind his sudden collapse. She was worried that he had kept something from her after the racing accident, and was in a much more serious condition than she was aware of.
Eve smiled, thankful that between having to break the news of Kay's parentage and dealing with the epic battle currently being waged between her daughters, something in her day had actually turned out positive. "At first, I was afraid that he had some sort of brain tumor, but in reality it's a minor irregularity of the nervous system that can easily be taken care of. I'll have to operate, and he'll need to stay in the hospital for a week or so, but he's going to be just fine!"
Sheridan was, of course, extremely relieved. She'd been so worried about her fiancée, and so thankful that he would be okay. However, she was beginning to have second thoughts about her choice. She'd made it rashly out of anger, without really thinking. Luis had acted like a jerk, but later that night he'd apologized in a manner that she knew was sincere, and had even told her about Beth. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quell her feelings for him, and couldn't get used to the idea of spending the rest of her life without him. Still, she had made this choice, and at this moment there was no point in distressing Antonio or giving Luis potentially false hope when she was still not entirely sure.
*****
After crossing the threshold, Kay looked all around her in awe, as if she had never been inside the Crane mansion before. She couldn't believe that this, this palace, would now be her home. She also couldn't believe that Ivy and Julian were now her parents.
The ride home in the limousine had been strange and awkward for all parties, but Kay could already tell that she was going to agree with the rest of Harmony in despising Julian. He was so slimy and smarmy, and such a buffoon, that she cringed to think that he was her real father. Ivy, on the other hand, was much more to her liking. She was interesting and witty, and not at all sickeningly sweet or impossibly virtuous. What's more, she seemed genuinely interested in Kay, whereas Julian was clearly just putting on a show.
She had barely gotten all of her stuff into the entryway when a couple of maids dashed in, took her belongings, told her she'd be staying in room 4B, and that Mr. Alistair Crane desired an audience with her in the library.
Well, she thought, taking a deep breath, there's no use in putting this off now. She strode into the library with a false confidence and greeted the Crane patriarch, who smiled at her insincerely. "Please, Kay, have a seat."
Consciously molding her features into a gracious smile, she replied, "Thank you, Mr. Crane."
"Please, you're being too formal. We are family, after all. Feel free to call me 'Grandfather.'"
Although Alistair was not a man one would likely think of as the grandfatherly type, Kay complied. "Okay, Grandfather."
"The two of us have a great deal of catching up to do," Alistair said, and Kay correctly took his words to mean that he would be giving her a drill session. "This must be a big adjustment for you. The loss of your family must be terribly upsetting."
"I'm dealing," Kay answered simply.
Alistair looked pleased, as if he were hoping for such an answer. "That's good. The correct education is vitally important in our family. How did you fare in your studies in high school, and do you have any postgraduate plans?"
"Well, I used to get top grades, but I sorta let them slip over the past couple years," Kay confessed. "I'm enrolled at Castleton College, where my fa-, where Sam Bennett, went."
"Hmmm, that simply won't do. A Crane doesn't attend a local institution such at that. However, if you were once ahead, perhaps with a year of private tutoring we can get you into a top institution."
Inwardly, Kay thought that idea sounded awful, but she agreed to appease her grandfather.
"Now, if you are to live as a Crane you will of necessity move in somewhat different circles. Do you have any, er, attachments from your former life?"
Kay was sharp enough to recognize that Alistair was prying into her love life, and she resented it. However, she realized the importance of the staying on his good side, so she suppressed any urge to talk back. "No, not really," she replied truthfully. After all, Miguel was not hers, and nobody she knew really cared about her.
"Good. That will make the adjustment easier. Do you have any questions that you wish to ask me?"
"Just one: did I pass the test?"
Alistair's eyes met Kay's, and the two of them shared a look of perfect understanding. He smiled a bit, and said, "This will do for now. You may go explore the mansion, talk with your parents, or anything else that you'd like to do."
Relieved that her interview was finally over, Kay said goodbye and left, eager to see what else was there for her.
*****
As soon as Kay was out of hearing distance, Alistair turned around and asked, "Well, what do you think?"
Cassandra emerged from the curtain she had been hiding behind, a cautious excitement illuminating her features. "I have a good feeling about this one, I can sense it."
"I have to say, I was somewhat impressed by the girl myself" Alistair admitted. "She held her ground remarkably well, was straightforward, and understood the situation perfectly. Plus, she doesn't seem to have much of a sentimental attachment to the Bennetts or a longing for her old life. All in all, I'd say she's qualified for an entry into the family."
"Oh, yes, definitely that," Cassandra agreed absently. "Of course she's qualified to be a Crane, at the very least."
Alistair looked at her, not comprehending. "What do you mean by 'at the very least'?"
Not ready to speak further, Cassandra evaded the question. "Nothing, nothing at all. But be assured, I'll be watching this one."
*****
After a long and protracted search, Kay eventually managed to find her room, which was easily four times the size of her old one, and more like a suite. In fact, the room was so large that it took her a moment to spot Ivy sitting in a corner, waiting for her with a rather hopeful expression on her face.
"Oh, hi," Kay greeted Ivy, not really knowing what to say.
"Hi," Ivy replied nervously. "Come sit down with me. I just wanted to be here if you have any questions or need help finding anything. I know this place must be intimidating for you; it was to me when I came to live here, and I was used to large homes."
"Thank you," Kay said, smiling, and took a seat on an overstuffed leather chair. Thank goodness someone actually wanted to help her, and not just have her jump through a series of hoops. "I'm sure I'll take you up on it, uh, Mother." Calling Ivy by that name felt strange, but unexpectedly easy.
Ivy was touched, but replied, "You don't have to call me by 'Mother' or 'Mom' or anything if you don't feel comfortable. I hope we can somehow make up for all the lost time, but it's still so new and strange, and I know you must still be missing your old mother."
Ivy was taken aback when Kay actually laughed! "Hardly. Don't worry, I was ecstatic to find out she's not my real mother."
"But, isn't Grace famous for how absolutely great a parent she is? Mother of the Year awards and all that?"
"Well, I certainly wasn't on the prize committee. All of my life, I came in third to my brother and sister, and I got used to it, but then my cousin Charity wanders in out of nowhere and she and Grace instantly have a closer relationship than I EVER had with her. Finally, John shows up, and he's my half-brother, and she can't spend enough time with him. Trust me, having Grace Bennett for a parent is NOT a good experience. I'm fine calling you 'Mom,' if you don't mind." Kay hadn't expected to open up to Ivy so much, but somehow just found the words flowing naturally.
"No, I'd be happy if you did!" So, Amazing Grace wasn't as sainted as she was made out to be. Ivy felt a little better knowing that this supposed "paragon of virtue" was just as bad as her, "Poison Ivy," when it came to raising daughters. Ivy still couldn't believe that Kay actually wanted anything to do with her. At this point in her life, even Ethan was beginning to turn from her.
The two of them sat facing each other awkwardly for a minute, when Kay decided to break the silence. Curiosity getting the better of her discretion, she asked, "So, did you really do all those crazy things to get my old dad back?"
Oh, great. Just when Ivy thought she was getting somewhere, she has to answer a question like this. "Well, technically, yes I did, but…" Ivy tried to explain, expecting her new daughter to look at her in disgust.
Kay felt bad at having put her mother on the spot, and cut her off. "No, I didn't mean it that way! I don't resent you or anything. I understand why you'd do something like that. Besides, some of your schemes were pretty impressive, really creative."
"Why, thank you!" Ivy cried in relief. "What do you mean, you understand?"
"Just that I know how it feels when you love someone who's with someone else. I've been in love with Miguel since I can remember, and I think he was going to ask me out, but then Charity strolls into town, and he falls instantly for her. I've tried as many ways as I could think of to get him to like me, but none of it has worked. I don't blame you at all." Again, she found herself opening up, when she was still practically a stranger!
Ivy instinctively felt protective towards her daughter. "He picked that little pasty-face over you?! I don't know the girl very well, but isn't she always raving about evil forces after everybody?"
"Yeah," Kay snickered, "and nobody EVER gets sick of all her whining, even though it's like every five minutes: 'I sense evil,' 'we're all doomed,' 'something terrible is trying to destroy us.' They all eat it up!"
Ivy reached out and took Kay's hand. "That just shows how very little sense they have, especially Miguel." The two of them smiled and laughed, and continued talking right up until dinner. During this time, mother and daughter grew closer and closer, quickly developing a strong bond that had previously been missing in each of their lives.
(A/N: OK, I cheated a bit on the whole "Antonio's illness" thing, but this is the show as I would write it, and does anyone actually WANT to sit through that lame storyline? Don't worry, fans of Luis, Sheridan, and/or Antonio, their part will pick up before long…)