Where Angels Fear to Tread
Chapter One: The World According to Harry Potter
A/N: Follow up to And All Was Right With the World. Making fun of Mary Sues along the way. And there's Snape! What more could you ask for?
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
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She smiles carefully at the mirror, trying on the professional look for good measure. After all, she is going to meet one of the Wizarding World's most famous prisoners.
Harold James Potter. A legend before he could walk. Banished the Dark multiple times even before he came of age. Defeater of the Dark Lord. Criminally Insane.
Of course, no one could actually prove it, since all the magi-psychologists assigned to him usually went insane in a week or disappeared before they could write their first report. But she wasn't scared. Oh no. She'd even requested to see him alone, unsupervised. Wasn't she brave? Father would have been so proud.
She, Natalie Summers, shall unravel the mystery that is Harry Potter and gather acclaim and riches beyond the dreams of witches world wide.
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Saturday, September the 13th, 2008
Azkaban
The conditions in the rooms provided were dreadful. The chairs were wooden and dug into your back, and the room smelled horrible. Natalie sniffed delicately.
But then, the door opened, and she forgot all about the horrible odor in the room and everything else, if just for a second.
She was warned about his mind games and endless horror stories, but not that he was such a charismatic individual. The last photos of him on file were from his teenage years, when he was still a small and awkward boy of fourteen. Now, fourteen years and three winters in Azkaban later, he was almost unrecognizable.
The room seemed to be soaking in his physical presence, and she found herself looking up into a pair of brilliant green eyes. Bright and cold, like distant stars, and she could hardly pull herself out of them. Before she knew it, she was submerged in a strange state of consciousness, blissfully happy and wonderfully light.
But the smell in the place was still terrible. "Urgh, it smells bad in here. Do you know what this room was used for?" She says, her nose wrinkling in a way she thought was endearing and others (privately) thought looked stupid.
"It's a interrogation room. My interrogation room, in fact."
His soft voice seemed to wrap a cocoon of warmth around her. She knew nothing else, at that moment, but those eyes and that voice and that existence.
"Please sit down, Miss McDonald. As I understand it, you're a new graduate. I read the article in the Prophet regarding your proposal for all Azkaban prisoners to undergo psychiatric examination. I found it very interesting, reading it from the prospective of one who knows most of these ah - inmates personally." He smiled at her, as if sharing a great universal joke. She smiled back. Of course, everything he said was the gospel truth and could not be questioned.
But wasn't there something she had to do? "I'm very flattered, Mister Potter, and I – "
"No, please, call me Harry. Everyone does." Ah, yes. What an honor! To be able call him by his first name. What a generous offer. She would keep quiet, as was required of her, and listen to him speak. After all, is there any greater pleasure?
"Now, listen carefully. First, I would like for you to tell me everything you know." His eyes seemed to gleam as he settled back into his chair.
She started talking, and didn't stop for a long, long time.
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Two Weeks Later
"Potter."
"Nice to see you too, Professor. Why are you still teaching at Hogwarts, anyway?"
"Some of us still need to earn our every meal."
"Better that than what I have here. How is Hogwarts? Are the Slytherins still sore losers?"
"…….."
"All right, all right. No insulting the precious Slytherins in front of the Potions Master. Got it."
"…….."
"What are you waiting for? An apology?"
"……"
"Okay, I get the point. Sorry I offended your sensibilities."
"What is with your sense of humor, Potter? I liked it better when you didn't have one."
"My cell's next to Augustus Zabini's, and Lucius Malfoy lives on my other side. Now where do you think my sense of humor came from?"
"People wonder how you remain sane in this place, Potter. Now I know."
"Care to enlighten me?"
"You're not sane. Haven't been sane for a while, I'd say."
"No, really. Isn't that what the last ten magi-psychologists said? But hey, you can't take their word for anything these days. They're crazier than I am. And that's certifiable."
"What are you doing, Potter? What's the purpose of all this? And why me of all people? Merlin knows that if I never saw your face again, it'd be too soon."
"What do all prisoners of Azkaban want, Severus? You should know the answer to that question."
"They want out."
"Exactly."
"And you want me to help you escape."
"Uh huh."
"You are more deranged than a rampaging Hippogriff if you think I'm going to help you get out."
"Why not, Severus? Give me one good reason."
"……"
"What gives anyone the right to dictate what is right or wrong? Or how people should be rewarded or punished for their actions? I defeated Voldemort and single-handedly captured more Death Eaters than any Ministry Auror. They think I should be penalized for my methods and for the people I have killed. I think I deserve to live out the rest of my life in relative peace. I didn't have to do anything. I had no obligation to save the world. I killed Voldemort for revenge."
"……"
"And that is more than I have told any reporter or hotshot magi-psychologist in three years. I'm under no obligation to sit here in Azkaban for eternity for saving the world. You're under no obligation to keep me in Azkaban in the eyes of any law. You know what Fudge is. What I didn't expect was him following in Crouch's footsteps and not even giving me a trial. That was rather irritating."
"You spent three years in this hell-hole because of that order, and you call it irritating? How very Gryffindor of you."
"I've never been what you would term normal. After all, I did commit those 'crimes', unlike another escaped prisoner I could mention."
"Well, as interesting as your little speech is, I do find that I have a perfectly good reason to refuse your request."
"Yes?"
"Because I hate your guts, Potter. Isn't that reason enough to want you to suffer?"
"Ah, yes, there is that."
"……"
"I see. I'm sorry to bring this up, I really am. However, I do recall an incident in the War in which I stopped a certain Avada Kedavra curse from killing a certain grumpy Potions Master…"
"……"
"Need I go on?"
"You've proved your point, Potter. All right, as long as I'm rid of this ridiculous life debt business I never seem to stop suffering from. Must be the Potter genes. I do have a question, though. Answer truthfully."
"Of course."
"What would you do if I released you?"
"Do it and find out."
TBC
Next chapter: We meet our main narrator, the ever gracious Mr Draco Malfoy, Ministry lackey, top Auror and watch him have a Very Bad Day.
Thank you so much to beta reader Ice Queen for her ever helpful comments and inspiration. I don't know how many new ideas were spawned in the middle of science classes. If it weren't for your encouragement this might have never come to life.