Disclaimer: For the 7th time, I do not own Friends. If I did, Phoebe and
Joey would actually be dating and Ross and Rachel would be married.
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Kidnapped: Epilogue
Monica shut off Sweet Home Alabama.
"That was so great," said Rachel, wiping a tear coming down her cheek.
"I know," said Phoebe, sniffling.
"Hey, the guys are crying," said Monica, drying her eyes.
"Are not," said Ross, his voice sounding like he was crying.
"It was just funny," said Joey, who also sounded like he was crying.
"I liked it," said Chandler, sniffling.
Finally they burst into sobs. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel looked at each other and shook their heads. They were all sitting on a giant mattress. The six of them decided to have a sleepover.
"Do you guys want to watch another movie?" asked Rachel.
"Okay, but this is the last one," said Chandler.
"We've got America's Sweethearts, Chicago, and Intolerable Cruelty," said Rachel.
"Wow, I didn't know this was a Catherine Zeta Jones Marathon," said Ross.
"It's not," said Rachel. "We just like the movies."
"Alright we'll watch them all," said Joey, putting his arm around Phoebe.
"Okay," said Monica. "I'll get the popcorn ready."
The girls got up to help. Suddenly, three figures wearing black came through the window. The girls turned around and saw them.
"GUYS, LOOK OUT!" yelled all three in unison.
Quickly, Ross, Joey, and Chandler got up and spun around. The figures were holding out long black blankets. The guys punched the figures and they fell to the floor.
"Who are those guys?" asked Phoebe.
"They're girls," said Joey.
"How can you tell?" asked Monica.
"They have breasts," said Joey.
The propped the three figures in the kitchen chairs and then tied them with the jump rope Monica was hiding in her closet. They pulled off the first mask of the first girl.
"OH, MY GOD!" yelled Ross. "IT'S JULIE!"
Everyone was stunned to see the unconscious face of Ross's ex- girlfriend. Then they took off the mask of the second girl.
"IT'S JANICE!" yelled Chandler. Then he made his voice sound like her's. "OH.MY.GOD!"
They took the mask off of the third girl.
"Oh, my, god," said Monica. "It's Erica, your stalker."
"What's she doing her?" asked Joey. "I thought we sent her to 'Salem' to find 'Dr. Drake Ramoray?'"
Finally they woke up.
"What's going on?" asked Julie, trying to move her hands. "I can't move my hands. THEY'RE TIED TO GETHER!"
"Oh.my.god," said Janice.
Erica didn't say anything. She just tried to move her hands.
"Erica, what are you doing here?" asked Joey.
"You told me you were Hans Ramoray, Dr. Drake's evil twin," said Erica. "And that I should go to Salem to find him. I looked all over and then he fell down that elevator shaft and died. You must be upset that he's dead."
Joey looked at his friends and rolled his eyes. "I'm devastated," said Joey sarcastically.
"I guess she doesn't watch the show anymore," whispered Phoebe. "Otherwise she'd know your back on it."
"Anyways," said Erica. "I realize that you're the only one I want, Hans. I never forgot you."
"You sure you want a sleezeball like me?" asked Joey.
"Oh, yes," said Erica.
Joey looked horrified at his friends.
"Now, you, Janice," said Chandler. "Your married and you had a baby around the same time Rachel did. Why are you back now?"
"I'm sorry, Chandler," said Janice. "I'm not happy with my husband. I love you. I want to get back together with you."
"Did you forget who left who?" asked Chandler.
"Who left whom," Ross corrected him. Everyone looked at him. "It's a habit," said Ross. "I don't know why I do that."
"I know who left whom," said Janice. "But, it was a mistake. I love you, Chandler Bing."
"I moved on," said Chandler. "I'm married."
"So, I was married and I went back to you," said Janice. "It shouldn't be that different for you."
"I'm happily married," said Chandler. "I'm totally devoted to my wife I don't want to leave her."
"Oh, please, she's probably a bimbo," said Janice.
"Did you forget who she is?" asked Chandler.
"Ummm," said Janice. "Actually, yeah."
"Well, feast your eyes upon the bimbo," said Monica, putting her ring in front of Janice's face. "Here's my ring. BAM!"
"Oh," said Janice. "So what?"
"Okay, Julie," said Ross. "I'm waiting for an explanation."
"Why did you dump me for that bitch, Rachel?" said Julie. "I'm so much better than her. She's just a waitress."
"Excuse me, Miss Thang," said Rachel. "I quit my job as a waitress a long time ago. And if you're better than me, why did he pick me over you?"
"I'm going to call the police," said Phoebe.
"Look, Julie, I've been in love with Rachel for, like, ever," said Ross. "I'm not going to give her up. Look, I'm sorry, but it didn't work out. It's been eight years. Get over it. It's over."
"Yes, Janice," said Chandler, as Phoebe hung up and came back over. "I'm not crawling back."
"Hans," said Erica. "Are you going to come back to me?"
"Okay, that's it," said Joey. "I should have said this a long time ago. I never said it because I thought you were going to kill me, but I'm going to say it now because your hands are tied behind your back. You are crazy! I'm not Hans Ramoray or Dr. Drake Ramoray. I'm not a doctor or a doctor's evil twin. My name is Joey Tribianni and I'm an actor. I'm not going back to you. None of us are."
Julie, Janice, and Erica shouted out in protest.
"WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" yelled Chandler. Finally they were silent.
"Now if you had kidnapped us, would you have tried to kill us like Richard, David, and Barry did to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe?" asked Chandler.
"No we're not that crazy," said Julie, laughing with Erica and Janice. "We would have kept you guys hostage until you admitted you loved us."
"I feel so much better knowing the truth," said Chandler, sarcastically.
Finally there was a knock on the door. Rachel answered it and the police came in.
"Where are they?" asked a policeman.
The six friends pointed to Julie, Janice, and Erica. The policemen untied them and then put cuffs on them. Then the policemen ushered them out.
"Chandler," said Janice, as they ushered her out the door. "You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. You.love.me."
"Then how come he's married to me?" called Monica after her.
"Ross," said Julie, as they ushered her out. "I don't think Rachel would get a pet with you like I would. That's real love."
"Yeah, well Ross and I have a daughter," called Rachel after her. "That's real love."
"I'll never forget you, Hans," said Erica, as the police ushered her out the door.
"When you get out of prison he'll be waiting for you at the mental institution," Phoebe called after her. "You might need to stay a while because you're CRAZY!"
The six friends watched from the balcony as Julie, Janice, and Erica were driven to prison. Then they locked all the doors and windows. Finally they sat down on the giant mattress and started America's Sweethearts. Ross snuggled with Rachel, Chandler snuggled with Monica, and Joey snuggled with Phoebe. They stayed like that the whole night.
A/N: What did you think of the whole thing all together? Please R&R, but go easy on me. This was my first Fan-Fiction. The Will and Grace thing doesn't count because it sucked. Everyone said so. Let me know if I should write another FanFic and if you think I should, give me some ideas.
_____________________________________________________________________
Kidnapped: Epilogue
Monica shut off Sweet Home Alabama.
"That was so great," said Rachel, wiping a tear coming down her cheek.
"I know," said Phoebe, sniffling.
"Hey, the guys are crying," said Monica, drying her eyes.
"Are not," said Ross, his voice sounding like he was crying.
"It was just funny," said Joey, who also sounded like he was crying.
"I liked it," said Chandler, sniffling.
Finally they burst into sobs. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel looked at each other and shook their heads. They were all sitting on a giant mattress. The six of them decided to have a sleepover.
"Do you guys want to watch another movie?" asked Rachel.
"Okay, but this is the last one," said Chandler.
"We've got America's Sweethearts, Chicago, and Intolerable Cruelty," said Rachel.
"Wow, I didn't know this was a Catherine Zeta Jones Marathon," said Ross.
"It's not," said Rachel. "We just like the movies."
"Alright we'll watch them all," said Joey, putting his arm around Phoebe.
"Okay," said Monica. "I'll get the popcorn ready."
The girls got up to help. Suddenly, three figures wearing black came through the window. The girls turned around and saw them.
"GUYS, LOOK OUT!" yelled all three in unison.
Quickly, Ross, Joey, and Chandler got up and spun around. The figures were holding out long black blankets. The guys punched the figures and they fell to the floor.
"Who are those guys?" asked Phoebe.
"They're girls," said Joey.
"How can you tell?" asked Monica.
"They have breasts," said Joey.
The propped the three figures in the kitchen chairs and then tied them with the jump rope Monica was hiding in her closet. They pulled off the first mask of the first girl.
"OH, MY GOD!" yelled Ross. "IT'S JULIE!"
Everyone was stunned to see the unconscious face of Ross's ex- girlfriend. Then they took off the mask of the second girl.
"IT'S JANICE!" yelled Chandler. Then he made his voice sound like her's. "OH.MY.GOD!"
They took the mask off of the third girl.
"Oh, my, god," said Monica. "It's Erica, your stalker."
"What's she doing her?" asked Joey. "I thought we sent her to 'Salem' to find 'Dr. Drake Ramoray?'"
Finally they woke up.
"What's going on?" asked Julie, trying to move her hands. "I can't move my hands. THEY'RE TIED TO GETHER!"
"Oh.my.god," said Janice.
Erica didn't say anything. She just tried to move her hands.
"Erica, what are you doing here?" asked Joey.
"You told me you were Hans Ramoray, Dr. Drake's evil twin," said Erica. "And that I should go to Salem to find him. I looked all over and then he fell down that elevator shaft and died. You must be upset that he's dead."
Joey looked at his friends and rolled his eyes. "I'm devastated," said Joey sarcastically.
"I guess she doesn't watch the show anymore," whispered Phoebe. "Otherwise she'd know your back on it."
"Anyways," said Erica. "I realize that you're the only one I want, Hans. I never forgot you."
"You sure you want a sleezeball like me?" asked Joey.
"Oh, yes," said Erica.
Joey looked horrified at his friends.
"Now, you, Janice," said Chandler. "Your married and you had a baby around the same time Rachel did. Why are you back now?"
"I'm sorry, Chandler," said Janice. "I'm not happy with my husband. I love you. I want to get back together with you."
"Did you forget who left who?" asked Chandler.
"Who left whom," Ross corrected him. Everyone looked at him. "It's a habit," said Ross. "I don't know why I do that."
"I know who left whom," said Janice. "But, it was a mistake. I love you, Chandler Bing."
"I moved on," said Chandler. "I'm married."
"So, I was married and I went back to you," said Janice. "It shouldn't be that different for you."
"I'm happily married," said Chandler. "I'm totally devoted to my wife I don't want to leave her."
"Oh, please, she's probably a bimbo," said Janice.
"Did you forget who she is?" asked Chandler.
"Ummm," said Janice. "Actually, yeah."
"Well, feast your eyes upon the bimbo," said Monica, putting her ring in front of Janice's face. "Here's my ring. BAM!"
"Oh," said Janice. "So what?"
"Okay, Julie," said Ross. "I'm waiting for an explanation."
"Why did you dump me for that bitch, Rachel?" said Julie. "I'm so much better than her. She's just a waitress."
"Excuse me, Miss Thang," said Rachel. "I quit my job as a waitress a long time ago. And if you're better than me, why did he pick me over you?"
"I'm going to call the police," said Phoebe.
"Look, Julie, I've been in love with Rachel for, like, ever," said Ross. "I'm not going to give her up. Look, I'm sorry, but it didn't work out. It's been eight years. Get over it. It's over."
"Yes, Janice," said Chandler, as Phoebe hung up and came back over. "I'm not crawling back."
"Hans," said Erica. "Are you going to come back to me?"
"Okay, that's it," said Joey. "I should have said this a long time ago. I never said it because I thought you were going to kill me, but I'm going to say it now because your hands are tied behind your back. You are crazy! I'm not Hans Ramoray or Dr. Drake Ramoray. I'm not a doctor or a doctor's evil twin. My name is Joey Tribianni and I'm an actor. I'm not going back to you. None of us are."
Julie, Janice, and Erica shouted out in protest.
"WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" yelled Chandler. Finally they were silent.
"Now if you had kidnapped us, would you have tried to kill us like Richard, David, and Barry did to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe?" asked Chandler.
"No we're not that crazy," said Julie, laughing with Erica and Janice. "We would have kept you guys hostage until you admitted you loved us."
"I feel so much better knowing the truth," said Chandler, sarcastically.
Finally there was a knock on the door. Rachel answered it and the police came in.
"Where are they?" asked a policeman.
The six friends pointed to Julie, Janice, and Erica. The policemen untied them and then put cuffs on them. Then the policemen ushered them out.
"Chandler," said Janice, as they ushered her out the door. "You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. You.love.me."
"Then how come he's married to me?" called Monica after her.
"Ross," said Julie, as they ushered her out. "I don't think Rachel would get a pet with you like I would. That's real love."
"Yeah, well Ross and I have a daughter," called Rachel after her. "That's real love."
"I'll never forget you, Hans," said Erica, as the police ushered her out the door.
"When you get out of prison he'll be waiting for you at the mental institution," Phoebe called after her. "You might need to stay a while because you're CRAZY!"
The six friends watched from the balcony as Julie, Janice, and Erica were driven to prison. Then they locked all the doors and windows. Finally they sat down on the giant mattress and started America's Sweethearts. Ross snuggled with Rachel, Chandler snuggled with Monica, and Joey snuggled with Phoebe. They stayed like that the whole night.
A/N: What did you think of the whole thing all together? Please R&R, but go easy on me. This was my first Fan-Fiction. The Will and Grace thing doesn't count because it sucked. Everyone said so. Let me know if I should write another FanFic and if you think I should, give me some ideas.