Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all damn him!
The Winning Hand has won two awards at the Feels like Heaven, Hurts like Hell award site (). The Cookie Dough Award (Best WIP). And The Sparkly Umbrella (Best Overall Pick by Natalie). Yay me!
I was going to make this ch. longer, but decided to save the B/S confrontation for the next ch.
***
Chapter 19 - A World Without
Spike stared at the figures on his screen, not really connecting thoughts to what blinked before him. With a disgusted sigh he pushed away from the desk and stood. Two days. He hadn't seen Buffy in two days, and it was driving him insane. What was he going to do for the rest of his life?
He shook his head in reprimand. It didn't matter. It didn't matter what he felt, or what *he* needed. He was doing this for her. To make sure she go the life *she* deserved. Besides the feelings would pass soon enough. Wouldn't they?
*ring*
Spike lunged for the phone grateful for anything that would take his mind off the girl he was determined to keep a distance from. "Spike," his greeting was abrupt.
"Hey Spike! How's it going?" Xander asked cheerily.
"Hey Xan. 'S going." Spike grumbled back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Is it the Crypt?"
"No."
"Your parents?"
"No."
"Giles?"
"No."
"You gonna use one word sentences this whole conversation?"
"No."
"O...k...a...y." Xander waited a beat.
"Bloody Hell, Xan!"
"Wanna talk about it?" Xander was hopeful although his friend wasn't usually known for many emotionally cathartic speeches.
"No!"
"O...k...a...y." Xander waited another beat. "So, how's Buffy?"
"I said I don't want to talk about it." Spike spit out through gritted teeth.
"Uhmmm," Xander muttered. "I didn't know we were?"
"Just because I showed her around town, took her for a drive or two," Spike rubbed the back of his neck vigorously, "doesn't mean we have to spend every minute together does it?"
"Uhmmm, no?" Xander hoped that was the right answer.
"Too right!" Spike echoed the sentiment. "I never promised her anything. She shouldn't expect anything."
"Does she expect something?" Xander asked tentatively.
"How the bloody hell should I know?" Spike practically shouted into the phone. He was up and pacing as far as the phone cord would allow as he spoke to his friend. Finally he stopped and let out a large sigh. "It's just not right Xan. She doesn't belong here." The last was said in a defeated tone.
"But you want her there?"
"Doesn't matter what I want." Spike said softly. "She deserves better than that."
"Better than what? A great guy?" Xan countered. "Someone who cares about here?"
"Yes!" Spike was vehement. "She wants it all. She deserves it all, the house, the kids, everything! That means I'm not the guy for her."
"Why? Why can't you be that guy? And are you even sure that's what she wants?" Xander asked.
"Xan, you've known me for what? 10 - 15 years?" Spike asked, rubbing his closed eyes with thumb and forefinger. "Do you think I can be that guy? I haven't had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 weeks, let alone the 'til death do us part gig." He sighed wearily.
"People change Spike." Xander answered.
Spike was silent, contemplating Xander's words. Finally he decided to change the subject. "So, what did you ring for anyway?"
"Oh, uhmmm...nothing." Xander hedged.
"What's up Xan?"
"Actually, I just called to check on Buffy." Xander finally blurted. "She wasn't in her room, so I thought I'd check with you. But obviously that was a bad choice."
"She wasn't in her room?" Spike wondered where she'd gone to.
"Well, she wasn't answering the phone at least."
"Maybe she's with mum?" Spike offered.
"I already tried there. Joyce hasn't seen her since breakfast."
Spike was getting worried now. Where was she? "Did you page the Casino?" He asked, even as he scanned the monitors in front of him.
"Yeah, she didn't answer. I'm sure she's just out shopping or checking out the strip." Xander replied.
"Hmmm...yeah. I gotta go mate." Spike hung up without waiting for a reply.
***
"No Will, I'm sorry I don't know where she is." Joyce crossed her fingers behind her back. "I'm sure she'll be back soon." She wished Buffy hadn't made her promise not to let Will know where she'd gone. Maybe if he knew that she'd planned to stay long term, he wouldn't be so reticent about their relationship. For the life of her, Joyce could not figure out her wayward son.
"What about da? Has he seen her?" Spike's brow was marred with worry. Where could she be? "You're sure she didn't say anything at breakfast?"
"For someone whose been too busy to even say hello to her in the past two days, you seem to be overly concerned over her whereabouts." Joyce raised an inquiring eyebrow at him.
Spike's head whipped around at that. "Did she say something?"
"Only that you've been busy." Joyce shrugged.
"I have." Spike resumed his pacing. "'Sides it's better this way."
"Is it?"
"Yeah." The one word answer came out in a whoosh of breath.
"For her? Or for you?"
"Where did you say da was again?"
Joyce gave her son a compliant smile, letting her own question go, "I didn't. He said he had some business to take care of. He'll be back by dinner."
"Hmmm...okay. I gotta go mum." He kissed Joyce on the cheek before walking rapidly out the door.
***
"What do you think Mr. Giles?" Buffy spun in a circle taking in her surroundings, while Rupert walked the room with her.
"I think I told you to call me Rupert." He smiled at her to take the sting out. "And I also think that it's lovely."
"I know I could probably afford some place bigger, but when I saw this house I knew it was the one for me." Buffy took in the desert view from the second story balcony they stood before, the bright sun shining through the glass doors. "It's even got a basement I can convert into a home studio!"
"Yes, I imagine that's something you'd have to take into consideration." Rupert commented as he followed her back down the stairs. "I take it my son hasn't seen your soon to be residence yet either?"
"No." Buffy's voice quieted. "He's been busy."
"I suppose that's true." Rupert replied.
"I'd like to show him though," Buffy continued absently. "I'd love for him to see the studio." Her voice was slightly wistful.
"They're both excellent choices." Rupert assured her.
"I hope so." Buffy sighed. She'd fallen in love with both buildings the moment she'd seen them. She'd also fallen hard for the desert. She knew that she'd be happy to live there the rest of her life. But if Will didn't want to be part of that life? Could she truly be happy here? Where he was?
Rupert laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "He's a fool." He gave her a small squeeze. "Much like his old man." He smiled reassuringly. "He just hasn't learned to admit it."
The Winning Hand has won two awards at the Feels like Heaven, Hurts like Hell award site (). The Cookie Dough Award (Best WIP). And The Sparkly Umbrella (Best Overall Pick by Natalie). Yay me!
I was going to make this ch. longer, but decided to save the B/S confrontation for the next ch.
***
Chapter 19 - A World Without
Spike stared at the figures on his screen, not really connecting thoughts to what blinked before him. With a disgusted sigh he pushed away from the desk and stood. Two days. He hadn't seen Buffy in two days, and it was driving him insane. What was he going to do for the rest of his life?
He shook his head in reprimand. It didn't matter. It didn't matter what he felt, or what *he* needed. He was doing this for her. To make sure she go the life *she* deserved. Besides the feelings would pass soon enough. Wouldn't they?
*ring*
Spike lunged for the phone grateful for anything that would take his mind off the girl he was determined to keep a distance from. "Spike," his greeting was abrupt.
"Hey Spike! How's it going?" Xander asked cheerily.
"Hey Xan. 'S going." Spike grumbled back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Is it the Crypt?"
"No."
"Your parents?"
"No."
"Giles?"
"No."
"You gonna use one word sentences this whole conversation?"
"No."
"O...k...a...y." Xander waited a beat.
"Bloody Hell, Xan!"
"Wanna talk about it?" Xander was hopeful although his friend wasn't usually known for many emotionally cathartic speeches.
"No!"
"O...k...a...y." Xander waited another beat. "So, how's Buffy?"
"I said I don't want to talk about it." Spike spit out through gritted teeth.
"Uhmmm," Xander muttered. "I didn't know we were?"
"Just because I showed her around town, took her for a drive or two," Spike rubbed the back of his neck vigorously, "doesn't mean we have to spend every minute together does it?"
"Uhmmm, no?" Xander hoped that was the right answer.
"Too right!" Spike echoed the sentiment. "I never promised her anything. She shouldn't expect anything."
"Does she expect something?" Xander asked tentatively.
"How the bloody hell should I know?" Spike practically shouted into the phone. He was up and pacing as far as the phone cord would allow as he spoke to his friend. Finally he stopped and let out a large sigh. "It's just not right Xan. She doesn't belong here." The last was said in a defeated tone.
"But you want her there?"
"Doesn't matter what I want." Spike said softly. "She deserves better than that."
"Better than what? A great guy?" Xan countered. "Someone who cares about here?"
"Yes!" Spike was vehement. "She wants it all. She deserves it all, the house, the kids, everything! That means I'm not the guy for her."
"Why? Why can't you be that guy? And are you even sure that's what she wants?" Xander asked.
"Xan, you've known me for what? 10 - 15 years?" Spike asked, rubbing his closed eyes with thumb and forefinger. "Do you think I can be that guy? I haven't had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 weeks, let alone the 'til death do us part gig." He sighed wearily.
"People change Spike." Xander answered.
Spike was silent, contemplating Xander's words. Finally he decided to change the subject. "So, what did you ring for anyway?"
"Oh, uhmmm...nothing." Xander hedged.
"What's up Xan?"
"Actually, I just called to check on Buffy." Xander finally blurted. "She wasn't in her room, so I thought I'd check with you. But obviously that was a bad choice."
"She wasn't in her room?" Spike wondered where she'd gone to.
"Well, she wasn't answering the phone at least."
"Maybe she's with mum?" Spike offered.
"I already tried there. Joyce hasn't seen her since breakfast."
Spike was getting worried now. Where was she? "Did you page the Casino?" He asked, even as he scanned the monitors in front of him.
"Yeah, she didn't answer. I'm sure she's just out shopping or checking out the strip." Xander replied.
"Hmmm...yeah. I gotta go mate." Spike hung up without waiting for a reply.
***
"No Will, I'm sorry I don't know where she is." Joyce crossed her fingers behind her back. "I'm sure she'll be back soon." She wished Buffy hadn't made her promise not to let Will know where she'd gone. Maybe if he knew that she'd planned to stay long term, he wouldn't be so reticent about their relationship. For the life of her, Joyce could not figure out her wayward son.
"What about da? Has he seen her?" Spike's brow was marred with worry. Where could she be? "You're sure she didn't say anything at breakfast?"
"For someone whose been too busy to even say hello to her in the past two days, you seem to be overly concerned over her whereabouts." Joyce raised an inquiring eyebrow at him.
Spike's head whipped around at that. "Did she say something?"
"Only that you've been busy." Joyce shrugged.
"I have." Spike resumed his pacing. "'Sides it's better this way."
"Is it?"
"Yeah." The one word answer came out in a whoosh of breath.
"For her? Or for you?"
"Where did you say da was again?"
Joyce gave her son a compliant smile, letting her own question go, "I didn't. He said he had some business to take care of. He'll be back by dinner."
"Hmmm...okay. I gotta go mum." He kissed Joyce on the cheek before walking rapidly out the door.
***
"What do you think Mr. Giles?" Buffy spun in a circle taking in her surroundings, while Rupert walked the room with her.
"I think I told you to call me Rupert." He smiled at her to take the sting out. "And I also think that it's lovely."
"I know I could probably afford some place bigger, but when I saw this house I knew it was the one for me." Buffy took in the desert view from the second story balcony they stood before, the bright sun shining through the glass doors. "It's even got a basement I can convert into a home studio!"
"Yes, I imagine that's something you'd have to take into consideration." Rupert commented as he followed her back down the stairs. "I take it my son hasn't seen your soon to be residence yet either?"
"No." Buffy's voice quieted. "He's been busy."
"I suppose that's true." Rupert replied.
"I'd like to show him though," Buffy continued absently. "I'd love for him to see the studio." Her voice was slightly wistful.
"They're both excellent choices." Rupert assured her.
"I hope so." Buffy sighed. She'd fallen in love with both buildings the moment she'd seen them. She'd also fallen hard for the desert. She knew that she'd be happy to live there the rest of her life. But if Will didn't want to be part of that life? Could she truly be happy here? Where he was?
Rupert laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "He's a fool." He gave her a small squeeze. "Much like his old man." He smiled reassuringly. "He just hasn't learned to admit it."