Chapter 20 - Home Is Where the Heart Is
Buffy was chewing her bottom lip in thought as she entered her suite. Before she had a chance to let the door close behind her, she was wrapped up in cool arms. "Will?"
He knew he shouldn't be here. It was the worse kind of breach of privacy to have entered her rooms without her permission, but he couldn't think of where else to go. She wasn't anywhere in the hotel. He thought that if he had any chance of seeing her he'd have to wait right here, in front of her door.
"Where have you been?" The words came out harsher than he'd planned.
"I was out." She answered slowly, confused over his obvious anger. "I thought you were busy today?"
"I was," Spike let go of her and began to pace the room. "But Xan rang up to see if you needed anything and he couldn't find you. I checked all over the hotel, but couldn't find you. You hadn't said you were going out." He admonished her.
Now Buffy was getting angry. "I didn't know I had to ask permission."
"Of course you don't!" He snapped back at her. "It's just that, nobody knew where you were. Mum said you hadn't told her you were leaving either, and I couldn't find da."
"Of course you're mother knew. I told her this morning at breakfast." Buffy answered without thinking. "And Rupert was with me."
Spike's head whipped around to focus his gaze on her. "Mum knew? And da was with you?" His brow scrunched in thought. "Why didn't she tell me?"
Buffy was chewing on her lip again. She'd forgotten that she'd asked Joyce not to tell Will because she'd wanted to tell him herself. She let out a deep sigh before answering, "I asked her not to."
"What? Why?"
"I wanted to surprise you." She answered softly, turning her face away from him to hide her disappointment. "There are a lot of things I've wanted to tell you, but you've been busy."
Spike's heart wrenched in his chest at the sad tone to Buffy's voice, but he steeled himself against it. "I have been busy," he softened his voice as he asked, "what did you want to surprise me with, luv?"
Buffy's mood perked up at the inquiry. "Oh Will! It's wonderful! I've bought a new studio. I've missed having my own students. It needs some work, but that'll just make it all the more mine."
Spike felt a stab of pain lance through him. "A new studio? I'm happy for you, luv."
Buffy noticed Will's expression and her enthusiasm ebbed. "What's wrong Will?"
"Nothing." He shook the feelings from his head. "We should have dinner, celebrate! You can tell me all your plans." He came up to stand beside her, his hand reaching up to cup her cheek. "We'll miss you."
"Miss me?" Buffy was having trouble concentrating. This was the first time in days she'd been this close to Will.
"Yes," Spike's voice was husky, from desire or dejection he wasn't sure. "When you leave."
"Leave? I'm not going anywhere." Buffy was confused. "I mean, probably a few days up to the Sunnydale Castle. Giles wanted to go over some things with me regarding the purchases, but I'll be back."
Spike's hand dropped abruptly. "There's no need for you to come back, Buffy." His eyes were a cold ice blue.
"What? Of course there is. This is my home." What was going on?
"You can't keep living in a high roller's suite, luv." Spike let out a false chuckle. "A high roller you're not."
"Oh!" Buffy hadn't thought. Of course, he was running a business she couldn't keep using up all the privileges. "I'm sorry. I'll book another room when I get back. I didn't mean - "
Spike cut her off again. "There's no reason for you to come back. The Crypt is *my* home, not yours. Why don't you find a place close to your new studio."
"But that's what I've done!" Buffy was getting frustrated now. "It's just not ready yet. The realtor said a few weeks maybe."
"You've bought a house?" Spike could feel the knife in his gut twisting.
"Yes." Buffy answered tentatively. Will's moodswings were confusing her.
"Then I don't understand why you insist on coming back to the Crypt?"
"I told you it wasn't ready yet!"
"I know that, luv." He reached out a hand to her shoulder. "Why don't you make the move after your trip to grandda's? Wouldn't it be easier then?"
"I don't think it will be ready then. Besides the Crypt is the perfect location. It's in between the studio and the house, so I can drive back and forth to check the progress and - "
"What?!" Spike was thrown. "You bought the house and the studio here? In Vegas?"
"Yes." Buffy was confused again. Why was he so angry? And then it dawned on her. She felt the first crack in her heart as she whispered out the words. "You're not just kicking me out of the hotel, are you? You're kicking me out of your life."
"Nobody's kicking you out of anything." Spike answered absently, still reeling from the news. "Buffy, what were you thinking of?"
Buffy's anger snapped. "Myself! It's a new concept for me, and I like it!"
"This isn't bloody monopoly. You don't just land on some property and make a 2 minute decision on whether to buy it or not!"
"I'm not the idiot you think I am! I know how to buy property, and I've done it." Buffy answered hotly.
"Buffy, this isn't the place for you, don't you understand? You have no business buying a house in Vegas."
"Oh! You're insufferable." Buffy began to pace the room. "Do you think you own the whole city now?"
"No, but - "
"Well, don't worry. The desert is plenty big enough that you won't have to see me ever again. I didn't buy the house to get in your way. And I definitely didn't buy it so that I could keep chasing after a man that doesn't want anything to do with me." She whirled on him. "So you're safe, Mr. Giles. You won't have to worry about me. I'll book another hotel when I return."
"Now wait a minute, I - "
"No, you wait a minute, *Spike*," she spit his name out with venom. "Don't make this any worse than it already is. I'm grateful for all you've done for me, but I don't need placating. I fully intend to maintain a relationship with your parents, your family, and I don't want to put anyone in an awkward position." She strode to her door and opened it, waving him out. As he passed her and entered the hall she turned toward him. They locked gazes for a few moments.
"You didn't have to do it this way Will. You hurt me and you didn't have to." The door closed before Spike could form an answer.
***
"So, we're agreed on the settlement then? And we've comped the rooms, and the boutique purchases? Have you setup the limo service for them tomorrow?" Rupert was watching his son carefully. "Will?"
"Hmm?" Spike's mind was a million miles away. "The limo? Yes, yes. I've arranged for everything."
"Good." Rupert stood and headed toward the small bar. He poured them each a scotch and then sat down across from his son. "Now, tell me what's on your mind."
"Nothing." Spike answered before taking a swift swig of the drink.
"You were never one for talking out your problems, were you? We always had to poke and prod before you'd tell us anything." Rupert sighed. "But in this case it isn't necessary. Problems with Buffy?"
"No." Spike shook his head. "Yes." He shrugged. "No." He threw up his hands and stood. "I don't know."
"What's happened?"
"She bought a house for god's sake!"
"Yes, I know. And a studio as well, I believe." Rupert answered calmly.
"You knew?"
"Of course. She took your mother to see the studio the day you were 'too busy' and she took me to see the house yesterday. They're both excellent purchases."
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"Why should I? She's perfectly within her rights to buy them, they're both in good locations and reasonably priced." Rupert shrugged.
"Good locations! They're here! In Vegas!"
"Yes."
"She doesn't belong here!"
Rupert stood and made his way over to his son. He placed a warm hand on Spike's shoulder and asked, "What's the real problem here?"
Spike only shook his head in silence.
"Will, are you in love with her?"
"That's not the point."
"It's the only point that counts." Rupert replied.
"I'm the wrong person for her. This is the wrong place. She'll see that soon enough."
"Why? Why are you wrong for her?" Rupert eyed his son carefully. "I thought you quite complemented each other."
"I run a casino. She's been sheltered her whole life. She'd never even been in a casino before she'd hit the jackpot! She wants a husband, children. I can't be that for her." Spike slumped forward in defeat, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's just starting to discover herself, her dreams, I can't interfere with that. She needs a chance to really figure out what her feelings are."
"I think you underestimate her. I think she knows exactly what she wants and how she feels. But regardless, aren't your own feelings important?"
"I've already given into my own feelings when I should have controlled them. She walked in here untouched, and I changed that. For my own selfish reasons, I couldn't stay away from her." Spike looked up at his father, guilt and shame streaking his face.
"You're both consenting adults. You cannot punish yourself for being human."
"She was dazzled. And I took advantage."
"Will, Buffy is an extremely intelligent young woman. She wouldn't have *let* you take advantage of her." Rupert led his son back over toward the leather chair and sat him down. "Now, I think you're both old enough to make your own decisions. If you don't want her, that's a whole other matter."
"I can't stop wanting her." The ache never left.
"Wanting's easy. Loving's hard. The first time I saw your mother, I wanted her and never stopped. But when I realized I loved her? It terrified me. It still does sometimes." Rupert chuckled.
"What? You make it look so easy."
"You're seeing us as a matched set. But it wasn't always that way. When we met, I was an ex-con who'd gotten lucky. She was a spoiled heiress. Long odds on a pair like that Will."
"You're saying I made a mistake." Spike dry washed his face with an open palm. "I'm not sure anymore."
"There aren't any guarantees Will. Loving a woman is the biggest gamble of all. You either put up your bet or throw down your hand and leave the table. But if you keep leaving the table, you'll never give yourself the chance to win. So is Buffy the woman you want?"
"Yes."
"Do you love her?"
"Yes." Admitting it was like lifting the bands that had been constricting his chest. His breath came easier and his heart sped up.
"How badly did you bollocks this up?"
"Pretty badly. She shut the door in my face." Spike winced at the memory.
"It's probably going to take some fast talking to get her to open up again."
"So I'll talk fast."
"What are you going to do?"
"Get her back."
Buffy was chewing her bottom lip in thought as she entered her suite. Before she had a chance to let the door close behind her, she was wrapped up in cool arms. "Will?"
He knew he shouldn't be here. It was the worse kind of breach of privacy to have entered her rooms without her permission, but he couldn't think of where else to go. She wasn't anywhere in the hotel. He thought that if he had any chance of seeing her he'd have to wait right here, in front of her door.
"Where have you been?" The words came out harsher than he'd planned.
"I was out." She answered slowly, confused over his obvious anger. "I thought you were busy today?"
"I was," Spike let go of her and began to pace the room. "But Xan rang up to see if you needed anything and he couldn't find you. I checked all over the hotel, but couldn't find you. You hadn't said you were going out." He admonished her.
Now Buffy was getting angry. "I didn't know I had to ask permission."
"Of course you don't!" He snapped back at her. "It's just that, nobody knew where you were. Mum said you hadn't told her you were leaving either, and I couldn't find da."
"Of course you're mother knew. I told her this morning at breakfast." Buffy answered without thinking. "And Rupert was with me."
Spike's head whipped around to focus his gaze on her. "Mum knew? And da was with you?" His brow scrunched in thought. "Why didn't she tell me?"
Buffy was chewing on her lip again. She'd forgotten that she'd asked Joyce not to tell Will because she'd wanted to tell him herself. She let out a deep sigh before answering, "I asked her not to."
"What? Why?"
"I wanted to surprise you." She answered softly, turning her face away from him to hide her disappointment. "There are a lot of things I've wanted to tell you, but you've been busy."
Spike's heart wrenched in his chest at the sad tone to Buffy's voice, but he steeled himself against it. "I have been busy," he softened his voice as he asked, "what did you want to surprise me with, luv?"
Buffy's mood perked up at the inquiry. "Oh Will! It's wonderful! I've bought a new studio. I've missed having my own students. It needs some work, but that'll just make it all the more mine."
Spike felt a stab of pain lance through him. "A new studio? I'm happy for you, luv."
Buffy noticed Will's expression and her enthusiasm ebbed. "What's wrong Will?"
"Nothing." He shook the feelings from his head. "We should have dinner, celebrate! You can tell me all your plans." He came up to stand beside her, his hand reaching up to cup her cheek. "We'll miss you."
"Miss me?" Buffy was having trouble concentrating. This was the first time in days she'd been this close to Will.
"Yes," Spike's voice was husky, from desire or dejection he wasn't sure. "When you leave."
"Leave? I'm not going anywhere." Buffy was confused. "I mean, probably a few days up to the Sunnydale Castle. Giles wanted to go over some things with me regarding the purchases, but I'll be back."
Spike's hand dropped abruptly. "There's no need for you to come back, Buffy." His eyes were a cold ice blue.
"What? Of course there is. This is my home." What was going on?
"You can't keep living in a high roller's suite, luv." Spike let out a false chuckle. "A high roller you're not."
"Oh!" Buffy hadn't thought. Of course, he was running a business she couldn't keep using up all the privileges. "I'm sorry. I'll book another room when I get back. I didn't mean - "
Spike cut her off again. "There's no reason for you to come back. The Crypt is *my* home, not yours. Why don't you find a place close to your new studio."
"But that's what I've done!" Buffy was getting frustrated now. "It's just not ready yet. The realtor said a few weeks maybe."
"You've bought a house?" Spike could feel the knife in his gut twisting.
"Yes." Buffy answered tentatively. Will's moodswings were confusing her.
"Then I don't understand why you insist on coming back to the Crypt?"
"I told you it wasn't ready yet!"
"I know that, luv." He reached out a hand to her shoulder. "Why don't you make the move after your trip to grandda's? Wouldn't it be easier then?"
"I don't think it will be ready then. Besides the Crypt is the perfect location. It's in between the studio and the house, so I can drive back and forth to check the progress and - "
"What?!" Spike was thrown. "You bought the house and the studio here? In Vegas?"
"Yes." Buffy was confused again. Why was he so angry? And then it dawned on her. She felt the first crack in her heart as she whispered out the words. "You're not just kicking me out of the hotel, are you? You're kicking me out of your life."
"Nobody's kicking you out of anything." Spike answered absently, still reeling from the news. "Buffy, what were you thinking of?"
Buffy's anger snapped. "Myself! It's a new concept for me, and I like it!"
"This isn't bloody monopoly. You don't just land on some property and make a 2 minute decision on whether to buy it or not!"
"I'm not the idiot you think I am! I know how to buy property, and I've done it." Buffy answered hotly.
"Buffy, this isn't the place for you, don't you understand? You have no business buying a house in Vegas."
"Oh! You're insufferable." Buffy began to pace the room. "Do you think you own the whole city now?"
"No, but - "
"Well, don't worry. The desert is plenty big enough that you won't have to see me ever again. I didn't buy the house to get in your way. And I definitely didn't buy it so that I could keep chasing after a man that doesn't want anything to do with me." She whirled on him. "So you're safe, Mr. Giles. You won't have to worry about me. I'll book another hotel when I return."
"Now wait a minute, I - "
"No, you wait a minute, *Spike*," she spit his name out with venom. "Don't make this any worse than it already is. I'm grateful for all you've done for me, but I don't need placating. I fully intend to maintain a relationship with your parents, your family, and I don't want to put anyone in an awkward position." She strode to her door and opened it, waving him out. As he passed her and entered the hall she turned toward him. They locked gazes for a few moments.
"You didn't have to do it this way Will. You hurt me and you didn't have to." The door closed before Spike could form an answer.
***
"So, we're agreed on the settlement then? And we've comped the rooms, and the boutique purchases? Have you setup the limo service for them tomorrow?" Rupert was watching his son carefully. "Will?"
"Hmm?" Spike's mind was a million miles away. "The limo? Yes, yes. I've arranged for everything."
"Good." Rupert stood and headed toward the small bar. He poured them each a scotch and then sat down across from his son. "Now, tell me what's on your mind."
"Nothing." Spike answered before taking a swift swig of the drink.
"You were never one for talking out your problems, were you? We always had to poke and prod before you'd tell us anything." Rupert sighed. "But in this case it isn't necessary. Problems with Buffy?"
"No." Spike shook his head. "Yes." He shrugged. "No." He threw up his hands and stood. "I don't know."
"What's happened?"
"She bought a house for god's sake!"
"Yes, I know. And a studio as well, I believe." Rupert answered calmly.
"You knew?"
"Of course. She took your mother to see the studio the day you were 'too busy' and she took me to see the house yesterday. They're both excellent purchases."
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"Why should I? She's perfectly within her rights to buy them, they're both in good locations and reasonably priced." Rupert shrugged.
"Good locations! They're here! In Vegas!"
"Yes."
"She doesn't belong here!"
Rupert stood and made his way over to his son. He placed a warm hand on Spike's shoulder and asked, "What's the real problem here?"
Spike only shook his head in silence.
"Will, are you in love with her?"
"That's not the point."
"It's the only point that counts." Rupert replied.
"I'm the wrong person for her. This is the wrong place. She'll see that soon enough."
"Why? Why are you wrong for her?" Rupert eyed his son carefully. "I thought you quite complemented each other."
"I run a casino. She's been sheltered her whole life. She'd never even been in a casino before she'd hit the jackpot! She wants a husband, children. I can't be that for her." Spike slumped forward in defeat, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's just starting to discover herself, her dreams, I can't interfere with that. She needs a chance to really figure out what her feelings are."
"I think you underestimate her. I think she knows exactly what she wants and how she feels. But regardless, aren't your own feelings important?"
"I've already given into my own feelings when I should have controlled them. She walked in here untouched, and I changed that. For my own selfish reasons, I couldn't stay away from her." Spike looked up at his father, guilt and shame streaking his face.
"You're both consenting adults. You cannot punish yourself for being human."
"She was dazzled. And I took advantage."
"Will, Buffy is an extremely intelligent young woman. She wouldn't have *let* you take advantage of her." Rupert led his son back over toward the leather chair and sat him down. "Now, I think you're both old enough to make your own decisions. If you don't want her, that's a whole other matter."
"I can't stop wanting her." The ache never left.
"Wanting's easy. Loving's hard. The first time I saw your mother, I wanted her and never stopped. But when I realized I loved her? It terrified me. It still does sometimes." Rupert chuckled.
"What? You make it look so easy."
"You're seeing us as a matched set. But it wasn't always that way. When we met, I was an ex-con who'd gotten lucky. She was a spoiled heiress. Long odds on a pair like that Will."
"You're saying I made a mistake." Spike dry washed his face with an open palm. "I'm not sure anymore."
"There aren't any guarantees Will. Loving a woman is the biggest gamble of all. You either put up your bet or throw down your hand and leave the table. But if you keep leaving the table, you'll never give yourself the chance to win. So is Buffy the woman you want?"
"Yes."
"Do you love her?"
"Yes." Admitting it was like lifting the bands that had been constricting his chest. His breath came easier and his heart sped up.
"How badly did you bollocks this up?"
"Pretty badly. She shut the door in my face." Spike winced at the memory.
"It's probably going to take some fast talking to get her to open up again."
"So I'll talk fast."
"What are you going to do?"
"Get her back."