Helluva thing
Disclaimer: Spuffy isn't mine, Parker's not mine (thank God!) but for once, I actually own the plot. So yay! ^_^
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when the person you love doesn't love you back. Story of a girl who fell in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic, my dears. *wink*
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! *wipes tear* They gave me a happy after I found out about how my grades are dropping. Ugh. I am becoming such a slacker! But anywho. *giggles* Thankies! Thanks for reading! Oh yeah, and so very sorry for the long wait. Was having me a dose of writer's block. But I'm all go, now. *wink* I think. . .
* * * * * * *
Buffy glared down at her glass of juice.
What the hell had gotten in to her? She just asked a simple question and he gave her a simple answer.
Buffy sat in calmness for a small moment, then her mind went reeling once more. Grabbing the nearby newspaper off the table, she fanned herself.
Why am I so freakin' turned on, then? My God! He didn't even do anything! Buffy argued, slightly disappointed that he really *didn't* do anything.
This was wrong. It was stupid to feel this way about someone you just met.
He almost kissed us! It's OK to feel this way! Buffy's inner-brat retorted.
At that thought, reality forced itself into her mind. Did you forget the minor detail that oh say. . .he's gay?!? It taunted.
"Right, perfectly natural." Buffy mumbled when Parker came back into the room.
"So, how about that movie?" He asked, pointing at the newspaper Buffy was holding. On the other side, it held pictures and show times.
Buffy looked up to see Parker grinning and holding a few green bills in hand. She smiled, "Sure." Anything to get her mind off the hot blonde.
The brunette's eyes sparkled as he continued to smile. Was it just her imagination, or did he look like he was planning something? "Good. Go get ready, I'll wait for you." He answered, staring down at the page of the newspaper that Buffy had left on the table.
* * * * * * *
"Did I mention you look ravishing?" Parker commented as he hurried to open the door to the theatre.
Buffy looked down at her jeans and sweatshirt, down to her old sneakers. This was ravishing? She shrugged. Ok. . .Whatever. "Thanks."
"So what were we seeing again?" Buffy asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
Parker grinned as he led her into the darkened room. Seeing that all the seats were full but three in a row towards the middle back, they headed in that direction to claim their spots.
As the two settled in their seats, Buffy maneuvered herself so she could whisper into Parker's ear, "So what are we watching?"
"Sh." He put a finger to her lips and Buffy felt irritated as he continued to give her a "I-know-what-we're-watching-but-you-don't" smile. She continued asking for hints on the movie they were about to watch and finally sighed in defeat when he didn't tell her anything. She crossed her arms over her chest, slumping back into her chair with a pout.
"Aww. . ." a British voice sounded from her right. Whoa, British? She turned her head and sure enough, there was Spike. "Is the poofter giving you a bad time?" He slid into the seat next to Buffy's right side and casually threw an arm over her shoulder.
"Spike?" Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "What are you doing here?"
He ignored her question and stuck out a pack of chocolate bars to her, "Kit Kats?"
Buffy smiled, "I love those. They're my favorite." She broke off a piece and popped it into her mouth, moaning when the sweetness melted on her tongue. "Yum."
Spike grinned. This is good. Common interests. We're a bloody match, I'll have her in bed in no time. "They're my favorite too." They didn't notice the brunette on the other side looking angry at their exchange.
"Spike," Parker hissed, "What *are* you doing here?" He was clearly pissed to see his plans to seduce Buffy in the theatre were ruined.
Spike shrugged, "Well, I *was* there when you asked Goldilocks, here," he ran his hands through her hair and Buffy tried her best to control her breathing, "if she'd like to go. Considering that you invited her to the movies right in front me, I clearly saw that as an open invitation for me as well." He ended his explanation with a smirk and waited for what Parker would say.
Parker gritted his teeth, knowing what Spike was doing. He was trying to get him mad enough so that he'd make a whole scene and seem like a bad man compared to Spike. Buffy would flee into Spike's arms if he let his temper fly. But no. He wouldn't do that. Parker was going to win this bet.
So Parker just smiled and complimented how it was nice to be hanging out with such great friends, throwing Spike off- who was expecting a blow up.
Instead of showing his discomfort, Spike just smirked and made himself more comfortable, Parker's blonde "date" unconsciously snuggling a little closer into his arms.
No way that was going to happen. Parker pretended to stretch and put his arms around Buffy's shoulders, knocking away Spike's arm in the process. Both men glared at each other behind the blonde- who was currently shoveling handfuls of popcorn into her mouth and who didn't notice the secret battle going on. The lights dimmed and Buffy's eyes focused closely on the screen.
Popping some more pieces of popcorn into her mouth, she caught herself in a coughing fit once she saw the title of the movie they were watching. Spike saw too and his mouth gaped open.
Spike didn't pay for the tickets, he had snuck in, acting as if he was part of some family group and had gotten in free. So he had no idea what they were watching. . .until now.
"Teletubbies go to Hawaii?!?!?" The two blondes shouted in shock together.
"SH!" The audience shushed.
Buffy shot a startled gaze to Parker, "Why are we watching this?"
Parker frowned, clearly confused, "I thought you liked it."
"What made you think that?" Buffy asked. What the hell gave him *that* idea?
"Well, remember this morning?" She nodded. "You had the newspaper open and I saw 'Teletubbies go to Hawaii' on the page. So I just- What?" He broke off, "You don't want to watch anymore?"
Buffy was about to answer when she saw that he'd be hurt if she said no so she just forced a smile on and said, "Of course I do. I just thought that. . .uh. . .You wouldn't want to watch it either. B-because. . .err. . .I love the teletubbies!" She hoped he would fall for her act.
Parker gushed, "Don't worry about it. I love Teletubbies too! We have so much in common!"
Buffy's smile began to fade as Parker practically bounced in his seat as the opening song went on. She sunk further into her seat and Spike had to hold back a laugh.
"Shut up," she ordered.
He shrugged and chuckled a bit then stopped with wide eyes. Not because Buffy told him to, but because he just realized that he'd have to watch the movie too if he was gonna make sure Parker made no moves on the blonde.
"Bloody hell," Spike cursed.
"Sh!" Parker scolded and turned his eyes back to the screen.
* * * * * * *
-----Half an hour later. . . -----
"Oh, aren't they cute?" Parker gushed quietly for the umpteenth time, startling Buffy from her slumber.
Buffy plastered on a smile and nodded. Turning back to her drink with an eye roll, she took a long sip, waking up slightly from the dose of caffeine.
"Bloody cute, my ass," Spike muttered under his breath. This wasn't worth it. Watching those- things- bounce on screen were just *not* a way Spike wanted to spend his afternoon.
He snuck a peek at the blonde beside him. Poor girl. She looks bored. Spike chuckled. Doesn't look like Parker will be seducing *her* anytime soon. I'll just leave her and the poofter alone to suffer. Good plan, Spike my boy. He stood up and Parker raised a brow. "Ran out of chocolate. I'm gonna go buy some more. I'll be back."
As Spike left the room, he thought aloud, "I wonder if I'm too late to watch 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. . ."
* * * * * * *
Buffy glared at Spike's retreating form. Wuss, she thought. She settled back into her seat and stared up at the screen once more.
Ok. So those- things- were cute. She especially liked the one in red. But there was just so much singing that she could take. Buffy took another sip of her coke and a light bulb went off in her head.
"Uh. . .Parker?" He was too enraptured by the movie so she shook his arm and said a little louder, "Parker!"
He jumped, "Yeah?"
"I drank too much pop. I'm gonna go to the little lady's room, ok?" He hesitated at first, but nodded, "Tell me what happens, alright?"
"Alright." he answered as she headed towards the aisle.
Ok. This wasn't good. Why was Buffy leaving during the movie? *Especially* after Spike?? It was like a hammer was smashed over his head. Of course! She was following Spike! Damn.
He began to get up when he felt a strong tug and he fell back into his seat. He shook his head and tried to get up again, but the same hold on his jacket was still there. Turning his head, he looked to his left. An overweight man wearing a wife beaters shirt was snoring, an empty popcorn bucket in his loose grasp. Parker squinted in the dim light and saw that part of his jacket was trapped underneath it.
Rolling his eyes, he sat back down and pulled on his jacket. It wouldn't budge. Tugging a bit more, the man snored even louder and turned in his seat laying more weight onto Parker's jacket. Growling, Parker scratched his head in frustration and finally decided to take off his jacket.
"This is just stupid. Stupid jacket. Stupid man sitting *on* my jacket." Parker grumbled as he undid the buttons on his jacket. His fingers were on the last button when the man beside him mumbled something in his sleep and dropped the bucket of popcorn. With his now free hand, he swung it over Parker's waist and nuzzled his face against the brunette's armpit.
"Oh- Oh God-" Parker gagged, seeing the saliva sticking onto his coat. He attempted to pull the man's arm off his body, but it just tightened more. He looked around and cursed, "Shit." Sagging against the chair, he gave up with a defeated sigh. He propped his chin up by his palm, elbow resting on the armrest with thoughts of Buffy and Spike making out in the lobby and him losing his condo do the peroxide blonde.
* * * * * * *
"I'm just gonna be a little while. Just a second. Then I'll go back to Parker. . ." Buffy repeated in her head as she tiptoed across the lobby. She jumped behind a plant when she made it to the concession stand. Buffy peeked her head around, making sure Spike wasn't around. When she saw the coast was clear, she resumed sneaking into the next room.
Pushing through the door, the sounds of screams and a chainsaw rang in her ears. Buffy watched as the actress, Jessica Biel, helped her hurt friend hide in an abandoned house.
Buffy crept down the aisle, stepping cautiously as the lights on the screen dimmed as well as the theatre. A dark figure appeared in front of her and it grabbed for Buffy's arms. Buffy screamed as Jessica Biel's screamed as well.
"Let go of me!" Buffy yelled, her voice still being covered by the actress's screaming and the chainsaw's noise.
"Buffy? Luv?" Spike's lips slid across her ear.
"Spike?" Buffy stopped yelling and looked up.
"What are you doing here?" They asked in unison.
Spike led her to some chairs in the back and whispered, "Well, you didn't expect me to watch that *whole* movie, did you?"
"Ditto." She giggled.
"Kit Kat bar?" Spike offered, unconsciously wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"Sure," she accepted the chocolate and watched as the character held a hand to her mouth; hoping that it would help muffle her heavy breathing, she prayed that the killer wouldn't find her as he stepped into the room and looked around.
Buffy jumped when she felt Spike's breath on her ear, "If you get scared, feel free to hug me."
Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. Spike surprisingly found that sound satisfying.
He frowned. 'Satisfying' for some odd, odd reason.
"So how do you think Parker's holding up?" Spike asked Buffy, in order to stop his mind from questioning his feelings towards the petite blonde in his arms.
* * * * * * *
". . .Tinky Winky!. . .Dipsy!. . ."
Parker sighed for the zillionth time and cast a bored glance at the sleeping man's bald, shiny head that was currently residing on his shoulder.
". . .La La!. . .Poe!. . .Teletubbies!. . .Teletubbies!. . ."
"Oh God- It's soaking through," Parker gagged, daring another look at the pool of saliva that was dampening his arm.
* * * * * * *
Buffy shrugged. "He's probably having the best two hours of his life," she answered, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder and sighing in content.
Spike didn't know whether she knew what she was doing or not, but Spike pushed his thoughts to the back of his head as he concentrated on the movie- and how *nice* and *right* this felt. The bet was totally forgotten.
* * * * * * *
A/N: Can you tell me how this chapter worked out? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it too short or too long? *sheepish grin* I was just having a little fun in this chapter. . .Couldn't help myself. Please review, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Or maybe hear how much you like my story. . .lol Uh yeah. . .Right. *cough* Hope for no writer's block in my future! ^_~
Please be kind and review. =)
Disclaimer: Spuffy isn't mine, Parker's not mine (thank God!) but for once, I actually own the plot. So yay! ^_^
Summary: It's a Helluva Thing when the person you love doesn't love you back. Story of a girl who fell in love with a gay man. . .or is he? Fantasy Spuffy fic, my dears. *wink*
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! *wipes tear* They gave me a happy after I found out about how my grades are dropping. Ugh. I am becoming such a slacker! But anywho. *giggles* Thankies! Thanks for reading! Oh yeah, and so very sorry for the long wait. Was having me a dose of writer's block. But I'm all go, now. *wink* I think. . .
* * * * * * *
Buffy glared down at her glass of juice.
What the hell had gotten in to her? She just asked a simple question and he gave her a simple answer.
Buffy sat in calmness for a small moment, then her mind went reeling once more. Grabbing the nearby newspaper off the table, she fanned herself.
Why am I so freakin' turned on, then? My God! He didn't even do anything! Buffy argued, slightly disappointed that he really *didn't* do anything.
This was wrong. It was stupid to feel this way about someone you just met.
He almost kissed us! It's OK to feel this way! Buffy's inner-brat retorted.
At that thought, reality forced itself into her mind. Did you forget the minor detail that oh say. . .he's gay?!? It taunted.
"Right, perfectly natural." Buffy mumbled when Parker came back into the room.
"So, how about that movie?" He asked, pointing at the newspaper Buffy was holding. On the other side, it held pictures and show times.
Buffy looked up to see Parker grinning and holding a few green bills in hand. She smiled, "Sure." Anything to get her mind off the hot blonde.
The brunette's eyes sparkled as he continued to smile. Was it just her imagination, or did he look like he was planning something? "Good. Go get ready, I'll wait for you." He answered, staring down at the page of the newspaper that Buffy had left on the table.
* * * * * * *
"Did I mention you look ravishing?" Parker commented as he hurried to open the door to the theatre.
Buffy looked down at her jeans and sweatshirt, down to her old sneakers. This was ravishing? She shrugged. Ok. . .Whatever. "Thanks."
"So what were we seeing again?" Buffy asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
Parker grinned as he led her into the darkened room. Seeing that all the seats were full but three in a row towards the middle back, they headed in that direction to claim their spots.
As the two settled in their seats, Buffy maneuvered herself so she could whisper into Parker's ear, "So what are we watching?"
"Sh." He put a finger to her lips and Buffy felt irritated as he continued to give her a "I-know-what-we're-watching-but-you-don't" smile. She continued asking for hints on the movie they were about to watch and finally sighed in defeat when he didn't tell her anything. She crossed her arms over her chest, slumping back into her chair with a pout.
"Aww. . ." a British voice sounded from her right. Whoa, British? She turned her head and sure enough, there was Spike. "Is the poofter giving you a bad time?" He slid into the seat next to Buffy's right side and casually threw an arm over her shoulder.
"Spike?" Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "What are you doing here?"
He ignored her question and stuck out a pack of chocolate bars to her, "Kit Kats?"
Buffy smiled, "I love those. They're my favorite." She broke off a piece and popped it into her mouth, moaning when the sweetness melted on her tongue. "Yum."
Spike grinned. This is good. Common interests. We're a bloody match, I'll have her in bed in no time. "They're my favorite too." They didn't notice the brunette on the other side looking angry at their exchange.
"Spike," Parker hissed, "What *are* you doing here?" He was clearly pissed to see his plans to seduce Buffy in the theatre were ruined.
Spike shrugged, "Well, I *was* there when you asked Goldilocks, here," he ran his hands through her hair and Buffy tried her best to control her breathing, "if she'd like to go. Considering that you invited her to the movies right in front me, I clearly saw that as an open invitation for me as well." He ended his explanation with a smirk and waited for what Parker would say.
Parker gritted his teeth, knowing what Spike was doing. He was trying to get him mad enough so that he'd make a whole scene and seem like a bad man compared to Spike. Buffy would flee into Spike's arms if he let his temper fly. But no. He wouldn't do that. Parker was going to win this bet.
So Parker just smiled and complimented how it was nice to be hanging out with such great friends, throwing Spike off- who was expecting a blow up.
Instead of showing his discomfort, Spike just smirked and made himself more comfortable, Parker's blonde "date" unconsciously snuggling a little closer into his arms.
No way that was going to happen. Parker pretended to stretch and put his arms around Buffy's shoulders, knocking away Spike's arm in the process. Both men glared at each other behind the blonde- who was currently shoveling handfuls of popcorn into her mouth and who didn't notice the secret battle going on. The lights dimmed and Buffy's eyes focused closely on the screen.
Popping some more pieces of popcorn into her mouth, she caught herself in a coughing fit once she saw the title of the movie they were watching. Spike saw too and his mouth gaped open.
Spike didn't pay for the tickets, he had snuck in, acting as if he was part of some family group and had gotten in free. So he had no idea what they were watching. . .until now.
"Teletubbies go to Hawaii?!?!?" The two blondes shouted in shock together.
"SH!" The audience shushed.
Buffy shot a startled gaze to Parker, "Why are we watching this?"
Parker frowned, clearly confused, "I thought you liked it."
"What made you think that?" Buffy asked. What the hell gave him *that* idea?
"Well, remember this morning?" She nodded. "You had the newspaper open and I saw 'Teletubbies go to Hawaii' on the page. So I just- What?" He broke off, "You don't want to watch anymore?"
Buffy was about to answer when she saw that he'd be hurt if she said no so she just forced a smile on and said, "Of course I do. I just thought that. . .uh. . .You wouldn't want to watch it either. B-because. . .err. . .I love the teletubbies!" She hoped he would fall for her act.
Parker gushed, "Don't worry about it. I love Teletubbies too! We have so much in common!"
Buffy's smile began to fade as Parker practically bounced in his seat as the opening song went on. She sunk further into her seat and Spike had to hold back a laugh.
"Shut up," she ordered.
He shrugged and chuckled a bit then stopped with wide eyes. Not because Buffy told him to, but because he just realized that he'd have to watch the movie too if he was gonna make sure Parker made no moves on the blonde.
"Bloody hell," Spike cursed.
"Sh!" Parker scolded and turned his eyes back to the screen.
* * * * * * *
-----Half an hour later. . . -----
"Oh, aren't they cute?" Parker gushed quietly for the umpteenth time, startling Buffy from her slumber.
Buffy plastered on a smile and nodded. Turning back to her drink with an eye roll, she took a long sip, waking up slightly from the dose of caffeine.
"Bloody cute, my ass," Spike muttered under his breath. This wasn't worth it. Watching those- things- bounce on screen were just *not* a way Spike wanted to spend his afternoon.
He snuck a peek at the blonde beside him. Poor girl. She looks bored. Spike chuckled. Doesn't look like Parker will be seducing *her* anytime soon. I'll just leave her and the poofter alone to suffer. Good plan, Spike my boy. He stood up and Parker raised a brow. "Ran out of chocolate. I'm gonna go buy some more. I'll be back."
As Spike left the room, he thought aloud, "I wonder if I'm too late to watch 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. . ."
* * * * * * *
Buffy glared at Spike's retreating form. Wuss, she thought. She settled back into her seat and stared up at the screen once more.
Ok. So those- things- were cute. She especially liked the one in red. But there was just so much singing that she could take. Buffy took another sip of her coke and a light bulb went off in her head.
"Uh. . .Parker?" He was too enraptured by the movie so she shook his arm and said a little louder, "Parker!"
He jumped, "Yeah?"
"I drank too much pop. I'm gonna go to the little lady's room, ok?" He hesitated at first, but nodded, "Tell me what happens, alright?"
"Alright." he answered as she headed towards the aisle.
Ok. This wasn't good. Why was Buffy leaving during the movie? *Especially* after Spike?? It was like a hammer was smashed over his head. Of course! She was following Spike! Damn.
He began to get up when he felt a strong tug and he fell back into his seat. He shook his head and tried to get up again, but the same hold on his jacket was still there. Turning his head, he looked to his left. An overweight man wearing a wife beaters shirt was snoring, an empty popcorn bucket in his loose grasp. Parker squinted in the dim light and saw that part of his jacket was trapped underneath it.
Rolling his eyes, he sat back down and pulled on his jacket. It wouldn't budge. Tugging a bit more, the man snored even louder and turned in his seat laying more weight onto Parker's jacket. Growling, Parker scratched his head in frustration and finally decided to take off his jacket.
"This is just stupid. Stupid jacket. Stupid man sitting *on* my jacket." Parker grumbled as he undid the buttons on his jacket. His fingers were on the last button when the man beside him mumbled something in his sleep and dropped the bucket of popcorn. With his now free hand, he swung it over Parker's waist and nuzzled his face against the brunette's armpit.
"Oh- Oh God-" Parker gagged, seeing the saliva sticking onto his coat. He attempted to pull the man's arm off his body, but it just tightened more. He looked around and cursed, "Shit." Sagging against the chair, he gave up with a defeated sigh. He propped his chin up by his palm, elbow resting on the armrest with thoughts of Buffy and Spike making out in the lobby and him losing his condo do the peroxide blonde.
* * * * * * *
"I'm just gonna be a little while. Just a second. Then I'll go back to Parker. . ." Buffy repeated in her head as she tiptoed across the lobby. She jumped behind a plant when she made it to the concession stand. Buffy peeked her head around, making sure Spike wasn't around. When she saw the coast was clear, she resumed sneaking into the next room.
Pushing through the door, the sounds of screams and a chainsaw rang in her ears. Buffy watched as the actress, Jessica Biel, helped her hurt friend hide in an abandoned house.
Buffy crept down the aisle, stepping cautiously as the lights on the screen dimmed as well as the theatre. A dark figure appeared in front of her and it grabbed for Buffy's arms. Buffy screamed as Jessica Biel's screamed as well.
"Let go of me!" Buffy yelled, her voice still being covered by the actress's screaming and the chainsaw's noise.
"Buffy? Luv?" Spike's lips slid across her ear.
"Spike?" Buffy stopped yelling and looked up.
"What are you doing here?" They asked in unison.
Spike led her to some chairs in the back and whispered, "Well, you didn't expect me to watch that *whole* movie, did you?"
"Ditto." She giggled.
"Kit Kat bar?" Spike offered, unconsciously wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"Sure," she accepted the chocolate and watched as the character held a hand to her mouth; hoping that it would help muffle her heavy breathing, she prayed that the killer wouldn't find her as he stepped into the room and looked around.
Buffy jumped when she felt Spike's breath on her ear, "If you get scared, feel free to hug me."
Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. Spike surprisingly found that sound satisfying.
He frowned. 'Satisfying' for some odd, odd reason.
"So how do you think Parker's holding up?" Spike asked Buffy, in order to stop his mind from questioning his feelings towards the petite blonde in his arms.
* * * * * * *
". . .Tinky Winky!. . .Dipsy!. . ."
Parker sighed for the zillionth time and cast a bored glance at the sleeping man's bald, shiny head that was currently residing on his shoulder.
". . .La La!. . .Poe!. . .Teletubbies!. . .Teletubbies!. . ."
"Oh God- It's soaking through," Parker gagged, daring another look at the pool of saliva that was dampening his arm.
* * * * * * *
Buffy shrugged. "He's probably having the best two hours of his life," she answered, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder and sighing in content.
Spike didn't know whether she knew what she was doing or not, but Spike pushed his thoughts to the back of his head as he concentrated on the movie- and how *nice* and *right* this felt. The bet was totally forgotten.
* * * * * * *
A/N: Can you tell me how this chapter worked out? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it too short or too long? *sheepish grin* I was just having a little fun in this chapter. . .Couldn't help myself. Please review, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Or maybe hear how much you like my story. . .lol Uh yeah. . .Right. *cough* Hope for no writer's block in my future! ^_~
Please be kind and review. =)