***
Hi everyone! I'm so happy! Thank you very much for the reviews! ^_^ I dedicated this one to you! I'm sorry I couldn't say it one by one (uhh… Tezuka Eiri, Strawberryfansz, SIB, Tennis Rapper, Sharl, dya-otaku, err… sorry, I forgot… I'm such a bad person… *starts preparing rope to kill herself*), but you know it's definitely for you. I hope you still like this one.
Please enjoy!
***
"Ah, look, Fuji! It's cute~", Eiji whined as both of them strolled over a shop in mall. "That TEDDY BEAR! Oh, I'm gonna get you someday…"
"But you still have Mr Teddy Bear in your room, Eiji…"
"He's lonely! I should get him a friend! Oh my God, Fuji, KAWAII!!", Eiji wailed and cling to Fuji. Fuji only smiled and shook his head. "I should beg Oneechan to buy me this…"
"Ask Oishi, then," Fuji started to walk and dragged Eiji.
"We bought Mr Bear together… I don't know, he might not agree with it."
"But you like it. If you like it, Oishi would like it."
Eiji stopped. "Really? Do you think so?"
Fuji nodded and stopped as he observed a shirt. "Uh-huh."
Eiji frowned and followed Fuji's gaze. "Wah, you have nice taste, but it'd be too big for you. It's for Tezuka's size, or Inui's size. If you want to buy clothes, I can help you!"
Fuji flinched at the word of "Tezuka", but he kept it cool anyway. "I see, way too big, ya?"
Eiji grinned and hugged Fuji. "By the way, you told me that you were with Tezuka after we gone home that day… What did you guys do?"
The prodigy trembled in anger, but he tried to calm down. He clenched his fists hard, still trying to keep cool. He didn't want Eiji to be hurt. "We didn't do anything. He just gave me a ride, that's all. He pitied me because I couldn't go home unless I waited until it stopped raining."
Eiji tilted his head, frowning. "Pity you?"
Fuji really didn't want to talk about that right now, so he gave Eiji a warning by glaring into his face, but the Acrobatic Player didn't seem to notice, because he was too busy to think.
"Fuji, when will you stop hiding it?"
Bad move.
"Hide what?", he said coldly.
"Hiding your feelings."
"Feelings?", Fuji shifted his gaze to another shirt. "What feelings?"
"Tezuka is torn apart between Taka-san's death and you."
"That is NOT my problems," Fuji half shouted. "Would you mind not mentioning Taka-san? It's bad enough that I don't want to think about him anymore."
"Yeah, like you're always thinking about him…"
"Now that Tezuka's here, I am."
"So, before Tezuka came back, you've never think about Taka-san, right?"
Fuji turned his face to Eiji. "It's none of your business."
"Fuji."
But Fuji had had enough. He threw a gaze of disgust at Eiji. And the latter realized that, because of his sensitive feelings. "You know what, Eiji? Don't act like you know everything about me."
Eiji jerked with surprise. "Fuji?"
"You know nothing about my feelings!!", Fuji yelled at him. "I'm sick of you and your mouth! Tezuka this, Tezuka that, if you really like Tezuka that much, break Oishi up and confess to Tezuka! Damn it, always talking about back when we were in high school, I liked Tezuka and all…"
Eiji stared at Fuji in surprise.
"You don't even know me, Eiji."
Oishi's partner and lover started to tremble. Hot water came to his eyes and he felt confused. But then, he felt anger. "Fine. If that's what you want. All this time, I'm so proud of being your best friend, but you know what? You're right, I know nothing about you. I don't understand you at all. And I don't even know you, you're right. But you know what? I thought I did. I thought I knew you well. As a best friend. But…"
Fuji cursed himself and turned away. He left Eiji standing there. Eiji's right. Fuji was proud of being Eiji's best friend. But, they're not like best friends. He knew Eiji, but Eiji didn't know him at all. He stopped.
"But Fuji, don't think that you're right," Eiji said, tears falling to his cheeks. "I pitied Tezuka for falling in love with you."
Fuji's eyes widened and he stared at Eiji.
"Just like you said, if I like the Teddy Bear, Oishi would like it too. Then, I should just say this. Back then, you were telling everyone that how good Taka-san was. Everyone who doubted him finally trusted him because of you. Taka-san liked you very much, but you were oblivious to it, because… because…", he left it hanging and shook his head.
"And Tezuka forced himself to like Taka-san because of you. But, poor Tezuka. In the end, he left you because of Taka-san. And he regretted it, he always did. Because you like Taka-san, Tezuka forced himself to like him, but in the end, he couldn't take it. And here you are, blaming Tezuka for everything, mad at everyone who ask you about him… Do you realize what you have done??"
Eiji was breathless, his face all red from all the snapping.
Fuji stared at him, confused. "I… I don't understand."
"Good, because you don't need to," Eiji seemed sad and tortured. "Look, it's… forget about that… just forget it. I was babbling… that… I… see you soon, Fuji."
Eiji turned around and ran away.
That wasn't it… that wasn't the truth… but…, Eiji cried as he ran. I almost told him… I shouldn't do that… Oishi… Oishi… Oishi told me it's still not the time… but… why? Why? Eiji no baka!!
Fuji was left alone. Fuji took a deep breath and started cursing himself. Damn it I made him cry. That's not what a friend supposed to do.
The Tensai realized of what he thought and felt sad. I really think him as my best friend… but I never told him anything… I always understand him… Or at least, I think so… but he…
Fuji shook his head and sighed. I deserved all this… I really deserved it… I'm such a bad person… I deserved nobody… even Taka-san… he tried hard to get rid of the thoughts and walked away.
***
Tezuka sipped the coffee Oishi served him. "Ah, it's really nice, thank you," he said and heard the thunder rolled outside. "What? It's going to rain? I think since the day that I arrived here, it's raining, ya? Is it like, my curse or something?"
Oishi laughed. "Well, it's rainy season… and… actually I hate rain."
"Really? Why?"
"Because all of the bad things happen when it rains," said Oishi playfully. "I just feel something's bad is coming. Let's change the topic. So, when will you go back to London?"
Tezuka smiled a little. "I don't wanna go back…"
"What? So, your college?"
"Who cares about it…"
Oishi frowned. "What did you mean?"
"I have to admit… when I first heard of Taka-san's death, the very first person I thought was Fuji… I thought of how he'd be crying and all… that I wanted to be by his side no matter what…"
"Tezuka…"
"But he's so tough, right Oishi? I can't believe he's changed… MY Fuji… I thought things would be the same but he's all right right now, he could stand without me. And he never cried."
Oishi stared at the Captain doubtfully. "Do you think he ever cried? When he's alone?"
Tezuka thought at first, and he smiled. "No."
"Hmm…"
"But even if he did… it must be about something that he really cared… maybe pain that he had hid deep, deep inside…"
Oishi stared at Tezuka's expression. "Tezuka…"
Knock knock knock knock!
Both Oishi and Tezuka jumped in surprise. Someone was knocking the front door very hard. Tezuka frowned at Oishi and the vice-Captain only shrugged. He stood up and walked to the door.
"Yes?", Oishi said as he opened the door, and surprised by the sight of his lover. "Eiji!"
Oishi quickly dragged Eiji inside and closed the door. Eiji looked sad and confused. "Eiji! What's wrong? Is there anything wrong? Eiji?", he asked and touched Eiji's cheeks. "Have you been crying? Eiji, answer me!"
Eiji's lips started to tremble. "Oishi…"
Oishi grabbed Eiji's hand and kissed it. "Eiji…?"
Eiji lifted up his head and stared at Tezuka. "Tezuka is here? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
Realizing that Eiji's eyes are watery, he decided to leave. "It's okay, I was about to go home anyway…"
"I think I… I've hurt him."
Both Oishi and Tezuka froze in their tracks.
"Hurt who?"
"Fuji…"
"We were… yelling… I was carried by my emotion… I…"
Oishi pulled Eiji closer and hugged him. "It's okay, don't talk… we understand…"
"I almost told him everything… and he looked so shock…"
"You did?", Tezuka sighed. "I think it's almost the time he know the truth."
"But not that way! I was wrong!", Eiji shook his head. "I was the one who made him like that… I know I'm guilty… don't blame it on him… he was so confuse, Tezuka!"
"I know."
Eiji frowned. "You didn't understand…"
"I said I know, Eiji. Because I was the one who understand him the most," Tezuka said confidently, as he stared at the sky from the window. It's definitely going to rain. AGAIN.
***
Fuji stood in the cemetery, staring at Taka-san's tomb. He didn't know what brought him here, all he knew that he was confused, angry, guilty and sad at the same time. And his legs brought him here.
"Hi, Taka-san," he said. "Bad me for not visiting you. I'm sorry. Had so much to take care of."
He stood in silence, as if hoping that someone would reply that.
"I… am confused. I don't know which one is right and which one is not. How could I lose the person I loved the most? How could I ruin my friendship that I cherish and value so much? How could I blame… the person I loved the most? Especially when I don't know anything… I don't know…"
Fuji pulled his hair until he felt pained. He wanted to cry, he wanted to shout, he wanted to kill himself.
Since when I have become like this?, his thought suddenly talked. Since Taka-san died… I feel my world breaking apart…
He wanted to believe what he had thought. But he knew the truth.
"Really?", he said to himself. "Really?? Do you really feel like this after Taka-san's death? Come to think of it, Shuusuke Fuji, you didn't even cry a bit for Taka-san!!"
"Eh?", Fuji dropped the glass he was drinking.
PRANG!
It scattered everywhere, but Fuji didn't care. He froze as he listened to Oishi's voice on the phone. Yuuta was holding Fuji's shoulders as he felt Fuji's body trembling.
"Aniki?"
"Okay," Fuji said and hung up the phone.
"What's wrong, Aniki?"
Fuji stared at Yuuta and smiled. "It was…"
"Ah, you're bleeding!", Yuuta pointed Fuji's leg and hand. "You have to be careful with the glass… Aniki?"
Fuji looked strange. He sighed softly.
"Aniki?"
"Taka-san died, Yuuta."
Yuuta froze. "Oh my…"
"We're going to his funeral," Fuji said casually. Too casually. As if they're talking about there's a new restaurant that opens in town. He didn't feel sad, or anything.
Two days later, after Taka-san's funeral and Tezuka showed up, Fuji's feelings mixed up and blamed Tezuka for everything. He blamed Tezuka as if he really cared about Taka-san. But the truth is, he never…
Fuji stooped down and covered his face with his hands. "Taka-san… please tell me… what happened?"
~To Be Continued~
Author's Note: THAT WAS BAD!! I'M SO SORRY!! I told you it's weird! *sighs* I hope you understand… And I really hope that you like this one… it was really angsty, don't you think so? I really want to delete this fic right now… well, thank you very much for reading this awful fic… I'm so ashamed…