Disclaimer: I don't own Slam Dunk, it's Takehiko-sensei's. 'If I Let You Go' is a title of a song performed by Westlife
Crusty's Note: Nope, nothing new, just revising some parts… Since my English is not very good, gomen for the mess of the grammar or any mistakes I made. Anybody interested in being my editor? ^ ^
If I Let You Go
It was such a sunny Sunday morning, but the red-haired boy lying on his bed crossing his hands under his head as an extra pillow, looked gloomy.
Sakuragi Hanamichi rolled aside reaching for the radio on the desk next to his bed.
He wasn't expecting any radio shows, but adding more back sound beside the bird's tweet wouldn't be too much of a noise.
After turning on the radio, he put his hand back at its previous position. He stared at the ceiling in silence.
At this kind of sunny holiday he usually spent his day with the Sakuragi-gundan, trying to bet his luck on the pachinko machine (even though they always got kicked out since high school students are not allowed in the pachinko parlor).
Lately something has bothering Sakuragi. And the thing that bothering him was about the thing that he always failed on -- so far. It was about love.
Sakuragi is in love. So what? That's not novel. He had been rejected by 50 girls. That means he has fallen in love for about 50 times.
And he also fell for Haruko at the first sight. At least that's what he thought for the first time.
For the last few weeks, Sakuragi had realized that the reason he got upset and jealous every time Haruko gave Rukawa Kaede a loving and admiring stare was that he felt rivalry in admiring the cool super rookie.
Indeed, the line between love and hate is so thin. What Sakuragi has believed for so long as a feeling of hate was actually a feeling of deep love. He loves Rukawa.
But how can he tell his feelings to Rukawa for he always quarrels with the boy?
Rukawa might think that Sakuragi was just playing a bad joke on him if he do so. And it wouldn't be that easy for Sakuragi to just swallow his pride and admit his deep feelings to Rukawa since the Kitsune has always been his bitter rival.
Overall, he's a Tensai for god sake! He doesn't just go mellow to others. Well, except to the one he loves, perhaps.
But this one is different. Rukawa is so cold, reserved, and seemed to ignoring people. It wouldn't be easy to express any affection to him.
"Aargh!!" Sakuragi scratched his head. Should he just forget about his feelings? Maybe it's gonna be useless to tell Rukawa how much he loves him.
"Humph…" Sakuragi sighed and rolled facing the radio on the desk. Suddenly an intro of a song played on the radio captured his interest. A mild voice of a man started to sing.
Day after day, time passed away
and I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows I hide it inside…
'Been there, done that' Sakuragi closed his eyes rather upset.
I keep on searching but I can't find
the courage to show, to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before…
Sakuragi opened his eyes and started to listen to the song in full attention. The lyrics of the song really resembled his feelings.
And once again I'm thinking about
taking the easy way out…
'The easy way out? Does he mean letting go his love?'
But if I let you go, I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go.
The song was still playing, but Sakuragi had no attention to it anymore. The lyrics he had just heard really struck him.
'How will I know if I let you go'. That's just absolutely right!
If he gives up and forget all about his feelings for Rukawa, he will never know the truth. He'll never know what does actually gonna happen if he tells Rukawa about his feelings.
There's a possibility that Rukawa would reject him –or even mock him. But it would be worse if Rukawa knows nothing about how Sakuragi felt for him, because there's a chance that Rukawa actually loves him too. And if Sakuragi never try, he would never know that.
Sakuragi got up from his bed and went hurry downstairs to the phone table. He got all his mind made up.
'It doesn't matter if he's gonna laughed at me, mocked me, or anything. What does matter is that he has to know how I felt for him. It would hurt me so much if he rejects me, but it would hurt me more to realize that he's clueless about my feelings.'
Sakuragi finally reached the phone. He picked up the horn and dialed a number.
In no time he was speaking to the person he set his heart on. He was making an appointment to meet Rukawa at the park today. Sakuragi had decided to tell Rukawa about his feelings there.
While upstairs, the song that had encouraged Sakuragi to speak his heart was still playing its beautiful melody.
But if I let you go, I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go.
'Yes, how will I know if I let you go, Rukawa? That's why…I won't.'
THE END