Title: Do you mind pretending for a while?

Rating: PG-13 (If you think I should change it, lemme know.)

Genre: Angst/Romance/General   Mixed, to tell the truth.

Pairing: M/L To all us ML'ers out there, we gotta keep strong in the struggle! Even though there's a flood of MA turning up on different Dark Angel site's, we all know what really happens. And if any MA'er is in denial, go buy the book " After the Dark", to see who Max really ends up with....

Time span: Set about a year after Max came back fro Manticore, and oh yes, the nasty bugger known as the Virus is around. No Terminal City siege, however.

Disclaimer: I still don't own the rights and etc to Dark Angel, and my break in attempts to steal them have been in vain. For now... You know the rest of the drill, what I should be saying here. Yada yada yada... :)

M/A GO AWAY!!! There will be no Alec bashing though, I find the guy too damn attractive to ever do that and I respect that Max is friends with the guy.

M/L, welcome to a angsty/romance heaven...

Author's Note: I first off wanna start with saying that I'm sorry for my lack of updates to this story, as well as most of my stories. My computer broke down shortly after putting Do you mind... on fanfiction.net, and when I got it up and working again the story kinda fell into oblivion. Nothing I'm proud of, just coming clean.

I've just improved this chapter a bit, not changing anything in the story 'sides spell checking it  for real. I expect the next chapter to be up in a day, or so...


Chapter 1

 


There was something special about this night, Logan just knew it. It was something, a gut feeling similar to instinct, that told him that tonight was not like other nights.

And in a way he already knew it was different since Max was here with him. Recently, she had been reluctant about coming here now that the virus stood between them like a big, dry concrete wall- unable to be smashed into pieces. But she showed up on her own tonight, asking Logan if he wanted company. It was indeed a bit unusual behavior from her... 2 days ago she hadn't want to stand in the nearest 10 feet of him, let alone do anything at all that risked them touching.

They both sat in his sofa, Logan bunked into the small one and Max curled up with her feet to her chest in the big one. They both stared into the dark evening outside the window, gaping at them like a black hole of darkness- waiting to consume them.

But that was not gonna happen tonight if any of the two had something to say about it. Logan was just happy to have her in his apartment, hell, in the nearest 20 yards of him. But Max seemed to be somewhere else, thinking of something that Logan knew nothing about. He knew her inside out, perhaps better than himself, but sometimes she was so distant for him. Perhaps he understood her, but some of her actions he couldn't understand...

" Penny for your thoughts.." Logan said and made Max spin around, facing him with her wine glass in hand. She smiled a soft smile towards him and the slight sting of sadness in her eyes didn't go passed and unnoticed by Logan. He saw it, but decided not to say anything about it now. Max took another sip of wine, thinking thoughtfully down on the floor and then up to Logan's eyes and now Logan was sure; there WAS something going on. She normally didn't look so sad.

" Just much on my mind, really nothing to worry about. " She smiled softly towards him, placing a hand against her hair and Logan drank some wine before answering. He didn't want to point out that she looked sad, somewhat tired even. If she was obviously thinking of something important he would give her room for her thoughts. Well, he'd always had to give her room as long as the virus would be in the way and it seemed like it would stick around for a long time...

Logan didn't want to admit it, especially not in front of Max, but his hope of finding a cure had begun to fade. They had tried to contact each and every single person that had been somewhat connected to Manticore, but none could help. He had contacted some of the country's best doctors that had been involved in the Manticore project and even them found the riddle too hard to fiddle.

He didn't want to tell Max that his private search for a cure was definitely running out of targets, and that there really didn't seem to be anyone that could find a cure. It felt horrible and Logan refused to let go of that last spark of hope, but even that was fading...

" You sure on that? " He asked without putting pressure on her, knowing how that would work on her. Always the other way around! She nodded and smiled towards him, gulping down some of the red wine floating around in her glass. When Logan seemed to look out the window, thinking of something himself Max let her mind wander. Away to dangerous thoughts, of love that would never be.

She remembered and watched the corner of his apartment where they'd finally admitted that they "were like that" and they had stopped dancing around. Instead, they had fallen down and landed on their butts, actually literally. Max knew that it must've been almost a year ago, but the pain would always be fresh for her.

She had felt so normal, so happy, so thrilled and so... loved in those precious moments. And the next day she was literally back at square one; her Manticore Hell. With a blond vicious bitch leaning down over her and a brothers heart beating in her body.

She would always feel guilt, knowing that she had her brother's heart. Even if Zack was alive now, she still felt guilt towards him. If he hadn't sacrificed himself for her that year ago, she would never be sitting in this sofa, talking to the man she loved with all her heart, yet could kill only by touching him.

Nowadays it had become too hard for her, always having to face him and when she felt like she wanted to run over to him and hug and kiss him 'til the end of time, she had to stand a good distance away from him, using words instead. But oh, how those words could hurt. And that was why she had decided to do what she was about to do, for the sake of never hurting him anymore, and somewhat for the sake of never getting hurt herself... the pain, she couldn't stand it and she knew Logan had just as hard time as her. That was why it had to be done...

Max and Logan sat and talked for another good hour, talking about everything from how Sketchy had made a fool out of himself the last time to Alec's latest attempt to do something good. Alec had become a fairly good guy now, just as cocky as usual but it seemed that he had softened somewhat.

At least to the people that knew him well, it seemed so. For how long, no one knew. Max then suddenly looked at her clock. It was late now, and the curfew would soon kick in- which meant it was time for her to get... back home. At least that would be what Logan thought she would be doing.

" Time's spinnin' away. Gotta blaze, Logan. " As usual, she took Logan off guard, always saying that she would leave in a sudden moment and even though Logan knew she had to get back home, he didn't want her to leave. He liked having her around, even though he couldn't get close to her. She was still his best friend, and would always be so- romantic relationship or not. He was just glad that they HAD a relationship; he knew that Max had a hard time as hell dealing with all of this.

Before, she seemed like she wanted to run away but now she didn't. But why did her departure tonight feel like that; a departure? Like she was leaving? He shrugged of the feeling, telling himself that he thought too much sometimes, worried too much as well. But that came in the package of being friends with someone like Max.

Logan rose from his chair and followed her to the door. Usually he let her leave right there in the living room, but he was genuinely happy that she had come over tonight- it seemed like she still wanted to see him even though the Virus would always be between them.

He was glad that she didn't ask about how his search went for a doctor that possibly had a cure went, however, because he knew he couldn't lie to her. And he was afraid that is she knew how little hope there really was for them, she would keep even more distance and worse case run away completely.

" Yeah. Hear from ya tomorrow? " Logan asked and then he saw that look of mixed guilt and sadness coming over her features again and this time he couldn't dismiss it, especially since she kept the expression this time. She turned around to face him before walking out of the door, smiling a vague smile towards him.

" Yeah " she said somewhat shakily " Tomorrow. If there is a tomorrow " Logan mistook her sentence for a joke and chuckled towards her and forgot about the sad look for a while. Laughs, or happy chuckles, were rare in these days that were filled with to much sorrow. Max loved to see him smile, it could light up a whole room with those dimples and those happy, blue-shining eyes.

This just made what she had to do even harder for her, and for a second she thought about not doing it. Perhaps they could endure... But when Max thought about all the pain she felt now, she didn't want to imagine what the pain would be like in 6 months. Hell, she didn't even know if she would've killed him in 6 months.

" See ya, Logan " She said to him and smiled, taking in a deep breath that Logan actually could hear, then she walked out of the door. And what Logan didn't know, was that she walked out of that door for the last time. She walked out of him... forever. To never come back. So much for happy goodbyes... she had just said goodbye to her first and ever love and she didn't intend to come back.

As the elevator went down, her heart sank with it and when she finally walked out of it and over to her baby Ninja she felt the sorrow building up inside of her, felt the pain. She swung her leg over to bike but could never start the engine, collapsing in a heap of sorrow, guilt and heart broken body on her Ninja. She cried so hard it felt like she was breaking inside but soon regained her composure, speeding out of the parking lot.

She stopped out in the street and turned around, halting the bike. This was her last person she would say goodbye, she had said goodbye to Original Cindy, Alec, Sketchy, Sketchy and all her other friends before. Logan was the last stop and she really had been " saving the worst for last ". She knew that Logan would be the hardest one to say goodbye to. She turned around and looked up to Logan's pent house and kissed it goodbye with her fingers.

Kissed Logan goodbye.

" Goodbye Logan. I love you. " Then she and her bike sped away into the night, leaving Fogle Towers and the man she loved behind... forever.