Author's Notes: Hi there. This is Yuriko, nice to meet ya all  ^-^ . This is my first English fic, but don't worry, I assure you I'm gonna do my best XD  . And I sure as hell I'm planning to finish it. Wonder why? 'Coz this fic is dedicated to my friend Mayaya, known in the ff.net as Mayaya Green. Oh, that's right, Masha, ^o^ this one goes for you!. A humble show of gratitude for all your being here and friendship. (Plus, you gave me the idea for this plot ^.~) Arigato!  ^-^

Hope you guys like it! Go ahead and enjoy! XD

Oops, almost forgot This is from Aoshi's POV, though be prepare for some comments in ( ) , which will belong to the authoress. Yeap, that's me. And don't forget to leave your review *_____*, onegai!!!

Disclaimer: Yes, yes, as much as it hurts to admit it, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki-sama does. ( Ave Oh Genius!)

Translator's Notes: Well, as you all read before, this fic is by Yuriko, great friend of mine, and I have the pleasure to do the translation here. In case anyone is wondering, this comes from the Spanish version "Actitudes y Sentimientos", also archived here in the ffnet. under Yuriko's profile.

On with the fic!

"Attitudes and Feelings"

Part One: The Reencounter and the Changes

Aoshi's POV:

'Misao… how long has it been, since I don't see you? Yes… I remember now, it's been 5 years. Five years since I left, leaving you behind in the Aoiya… leaving you once again… under the care of old Okina…how unfortunately sad is what I've heard… that he died 2 years after I left…'

'It must have hurt you greatly… he was practically your father, he took care of you since the first time I left you. I wish I could have been there to comfort you, to say the last farewell to my… .friend, almost sensei, but now… now it's too late to regret it……………..'

'Misao, how much I crave to see you, I really want to see you again. When I left five years ago, after the battle against Sishio, I thought… I was completely sure of my reason to take the leave…. I wanted to…. to run away from you….  but after all this time, after all this time of meditation and of wandering, I found myself with the same empty hands. There's such a void, eating me alive from beneath. Something I refused to see, but now the fold has fallen from my eyes, and I can see that the reason of such sudden decision was a mere whim on my pride, a mere fear that dominated me so incredibly strong, even if I didn't understand it back them. I only meant to run from your glance, such tender deep glance, because I considered myself so unworthy of your eyes…………………….'

'And so I fled, vowing to come back only when I was good enough to look up at you. Such absurdity, in my haste to save you pain, I was blind to see that I only caused you more pain. Again, and without wanting it, I hurt your feelings one more time….. I am so sorry…….you can't imagine how sorry I am………………..'

'I'm on my way to the Aoiya in this same instant. I visited many places all over Japan, and now, I'm coming back to tell you what I have discovered. A truth that has always lived inside of me, but that only now I have faced. I'm coming back home to tell you how I feel for you, without boundaries and without reserve, ready to put my heart in your hands…. just as I should have done so long ago……………'

'The Aoiya looks just the same as it did when I left. I still don't know how to face you this time…. Yes, I guess I'm nervous…. I'm entering through the front gate now……………the place is crowded, people scattered around, voices mingling with other subtle noises my trained hearing catches, but I don't pay attention to them…….  I spot Okon and Omasu, taking orders from the clients………..No one bothers to give me a second look, probably because my onni garments are hidden by the traveler cap around my body…. my hair has grown slightly, and maybe they won't recognize me in the first look………………'

'It's all for the better, though. I don't want to stop and talk with anyone else… Right now, I only want to see you, Misao…………..'

-Omasu: "Welcome to the Aoiya, Kyoto's finest restaurant. I'm sorry to tell you that I don't have an available table in this moment, but if you are so kind and please wait for a while, I'm sure one table—"

Omasu smiles as per usual, kind and gentle, and she looks at me with that little smile of hers, at the time she looks fairly embarrassed by the situation………….I decide to speak plainly.

"Omasu, where's Misao?" – I ask directly. We'll have time for a talk later. Misao is the only one who really matters to me…….

-Omasu: A…..A……Aoshi-sama? Is that you?"

She looks at me with such a disbelieving expression, staring straight to my face and trying and match my looks with a former memory. She even stutters as she makes her guess about the 'stranger's identity'…….

"Yes, it's me. Shinomori Aoshi. Now, please tell me where Misao is"

How…. odd. Omasu just …….averted her eyes from mine, lowering her face…………..I don't understand her reaction.

-"Is she in her room? Answer me……………"

I have decided that I don't like her reaction at all. I can see it so openly, the way she tries to hide something from me. And well, right now, I don't find myself being the most patient person.

-"Tell me! Where is Misao? Why won't you asnwer me…….."

In an impulse I grab her wrist, not holding tightly of course, I just want to make it clear that I need an answer NOW. But, why won't she tell me, damnit? There's a sudden thought flashing through my mind, something that tells me this is definitely wrong…………

-"Aoshi-san… it's just that… that… Misao-san……………."

Omasu lowers her face again. Why won't she look into my eyes? And what's with the formal treating for Misao? I had never heard her name wearing a –san ……….. I release her wrist and start to move. Enough time already.

"If you won't tell me, I'll just go look for her on my own…"- I answer somewhat coldly, as I make my way around her. Why doesn't she talk to me? Do the Onniwabanshu still blame my betrayal? Do they hate me? Or… Has something wrong happened to Misao?......  No, I don't think so. News are easily dispersed, I would have heard something………….

I walk across the restaurant's main room, exit through the wooden doors in the back of the kitchen, earning some curious glances from some assistants, that I don't bother to return…  The narrow path of carved stones takes me right into the dojo, and my steps turn just a little faster as I walk straight to her room upstairs.

I am now right in front her tobira, and nothing but silence greets me from my surroundings. Something in the recesses of my mind points out that the dojo had never been so……utterly quiet.

I slip the door open, while my heart is thundering in my ears…………..      

-"Misao?"

I take a look around the room, which is dark and almost lurid, lacking the flowers and little hanging branches of sakuras or chrysanthemums that I remembered from the past. I open wide the tobira in order to let some light slip in…………..

-"Who is it? I think I gave explicit orders of not coming in here………….."

That voice…… Is that… Misao's voice?

It sounds so…  cold and distant… I can understand that many years have passed by, and that she surely isn't the tomboy brunette I knew, but I had never heard that tone of voice from her………………

-"This will be the last time I repeat. Who is it? If you don't have a good reason to stay here, then go away and close the darn door"

No, it can't be her. The Misao I knew isn't like that……………..

-"Mi..sao?..."

I repeat, stuttering without me intending it so. It can't be her….  I don't her to be………….

 -"Well, well, I can see that I am the one in disadvantage here. You already know who I am, but I don't know who you are………………."

I know the voice comes from one of the dark corners of the room, for the silhouette I can see sitting there………..but in just a second……..it's……….it's gone?! Where is she? 

"Fine then. This is your last chance to spit out your name and tell me what is it that you want here"

I'm somewhat shocked to feel the cold blade of a sharp kunai practically cutting the skin of my neck. A slender, pale arm holds the offending object. Now I know she is standing at my right, hidden by the narrow shadow the tobira projects….but…..when did she get there? Has she become faster, or is it the shock of this encounter that has disturbed my senses? Whatever it is, if this person is Misao……she is definitely not the same young onni I left here………I don't like the stoned tone of her voice, neither I like the cold and ruthless advances……..what has happened to Misao? 

-"I won't be able to answer you if…………" –I move my head, trying to escape from the kunai's blade, but the sharp piece of shinning metal stays deadly close- "…….if I can cut myself while…….doing it…………" 

The onni weapon lowers mere inches from my skin, just enough for me to speak without threats.

I still haven't seen her. She's still hidden behind the tobira and the shadows. I barely see her arm, covered in a black glove, which runs from her elbow, along her wrist and even covering half of her fingers.  

-"Well? I'm still waiting. I am sorry to inform you…..I'm not a patient person………….."

She gives a flick of her wrist, the kunai moving gracefully among her gloved fingers, looking even more dangerous when the faint sunbeams are caught on the metal surface……………..

"I …..am …..Shinomori Aoshi…………."

I don't understand this. Am I……frightened? Is that it? Am I afraid of the possibility that she won't remember me? Or am I afraid of the fact that she won't want to see me ever again?

Finally, I caught some movement. The hand holding the kunai stays put, but another arm darts out, holding the tobira and pushing it ever so slightly, and I see her face coming out the darkness…….Her hair……..the color of her hair and the color of her eyes……is the same. She is Misao…..but the glance those eyes hold……….is incredibly………..strange. I can't see the mischievous shimmer, or the tenderness that her eyes possessed the last time I saw her……now they are……almost dead. The depths of her eyes are dull and distant, a faint sense of threat and warning in them……..Somehow I find them familiar…….but not in her, they don't remind me her own eyes, they remind me……………..

My own eyes, back then, when I lost the direction of my life….I used to have that glance. What is that glance doing in her eyes?

She watches me quietly, intensely. And I still can only see her face.

A couple of seconds later, she lowers the kunai completely, eyelashes descending to shield the dark green depths for a moment as she steps into vision in front of me………………

-"So……Aoshi-SAN, what brings you here to this humble dojo, after traveling around the whole wide Japan?"

Her words are sarcastic and cutting. But at least I can look at her now…………..

(Misao wears an onni suit, new onni garments. The upper part is practically the same, the neck and the shoulder stripes that light blue tone, and the rest of the gi's fabric that deep blue that serves her for hiding among shadows. But the wide and long ribbon that went around her waist is not pink anymore, it's now black, and goes around her abdomen as well, her more grown up figure now plain at sight. She is not the skinny little girl everyone teased back then. She's come to be a stunning young woman, slender and graceful. That same black ribbon falls along her back, billowing around her and ending just upon the back of her knees. As in her former appearance, the hem of her gi goes past down the waist ribbon, but now instead of the tomboy short pants, she wears a short skirt in that dark blue shadow, with two long, fine cuts at each of the sides. The skirt has a side longer than the other.

And the stripes that encased her legs and feet are now black, matching with the dark gloves and the waist ribbon.

Her hair is no longer held in the usual single braid. Now she wears it down, and it flows around her, caressing her thighs and reaching her knees too. There's a thin braid resting in her right shoulder. )

-"Well?" –she says after a moment, waiting for my answer without sporting any particular expression on her face and eyes. She just looks at me like if she didn't mind my being here at all……………

-"I've………come because……..I …..wanted to see you……….."

 I manage to say, still slightly surprised for her new looks. She has grown up fairly much and become a beautiful woman. But her lack of expressions and new appearance, the way she talks and intimidates me, the sarcastic and dry tone of voice……………..

I don't get it. What happened to the Misao I saw that last time………… 

-"Oh, fine then. You saw me now, ne? You can leave now………….."

And without another word, she pulled the tobira and snapped it close, not giving me time at all to do any explaining or tell her anything…………………….

To say that I am confused is an understatement. I'm…..baffled. Why this change? Everything is different……………

I continue standing there, outside her room. I'd like to go in there and talk to her, make her listen to me……..but what can I tell her? I thought I had planned it all, everything I would say and do, but all my plans were based on the Misao I remembered, not this new person I just met………  

-"Don't stay there standing like a fool. If you got nothing else to do around here, take your leave……………"  

Her voice comes from inside in a rude manner……..but yes, she's right. I won't gain anything by just remaining here without knowing what's going on……and it's clear as the day she won't explain me. I better go back to Omasu, she has always been closer to Misao, she surely knows what's happening.

And I must do something to turn things around.

Misao…………what has happened to you?

To Be Continued…………..

A/N: don't worry, it won't be as long as the first note ^^UU . I just wanted to remind you that any question, comment, can throwing or anything can be made at my mail. And of course, please leave a very much needed and craved review XD  . Thanks! Be sure to drop by soon to catch the 2nd chapter! ^.~. ah! XD thanks a lot to Shinigami's Voice and Tanuki (jo-chan for the translation! ^-^