Author's Notes: Thanks to all the pretty people who reviewed, you're mostly kind! Luv ya all! As promised, here's chapter 2, and the rest it's on their way!

If you can speak/read Spanish, it would be a bonus, ya know, 'coz then you could go to my profile and read this same fic there, specially 'cause it's far more advanced there. Anyway, get comfortable and enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Yare yare, I don't own. Didn't I say this in the first chapter? Ya people know. 

"Attitudes and Feelings"

Chapter Two: The Beginning of the Change. 

Misao's POV:

"So, Shinomori Aoshi, after all this time, you're back……………after all this time, when it's too late…………….."

I murmur the words aloud, the sarcastic tone still lingering in my voice, as I lean back against the room wall, against the right further corner when the light doesn't reach even if the tobira is open.

"You wanted to see me, ne? You wanted to talk to me? What a surprise" –I snort- "After these 5 years of absence, the former onni okashira decides to come back…………."   

My voice is laced with sarcasm…………am I upset because of this? Because I have seen him again?  

I wound my arms around my bent legs, resting my head against my knees…………why do I feel this way? Why do I feel………disturbed? I somehow had made up my mind that I would never, never see him again………….

"Ha, and that's right! He's the former okashira, and I am the onniwabanshu's okashira now………"

I bring my knees closer to my chest……………..why do these feelings flutter inside me? The Shinomori Aoshi I just saw doesn't mean anything to me. I decided it would be so a long, long time ago. And damn but I'll stand firm!!

I think I feel this way not because of my seeing him again, or because of the way I treated him. I think it was because I resisted the urge of connecting a punch across his face…………

"But it seems you're not the same of before. Seems like your 'short trip' made you good. What a pity it had the opposite effect on me………..ha! the irony of it! Who would have thought, the Ice Man finally melted……………"

I contain the soft laughter and I release my legs, sliding down the wall and coming to a sitting position with my legs folded under me, and lower my voice. It's been a long time since I don't laugh, and I don't want people thinking I am softening.

"Shinomori, you're a complete fool if you think you'll have a chance with me again. The stupid little Misao who fell in love with you has gone. You treated her badly, cruelly, and made her vanish…………."

~ ¤ ~ Flash back ~ ¤ ~

I looked for you during such a long time, my Aoshi-sama, and I went through so much sadness and distress when I finally found you, but found you so changed. You weren't the same Aoshi I met when I was a child. I remember with sadness and horror that day when old Okina faced you in that abandoned hut on the hill. I remember your cold eyes, filled with hatred, and thirsty of blood. I saw them when you walked away, leaving behind a baldy injured Okina. But even after seeing that, I still loved you and when I heard those words, when I heard that Himura had to kill you in battle………it was so……….hard for me………….and so painful………………..that I even……..I even cried……….when I had promised I would be strong…………

But when I saw you again, alive, and back home. And your eyes had lost the glance of the killer. It made my joy return, and my hope breath again. I hope that one day, I would be allowed to be by your side………..not like the child, not like the tomboy girl, but something more…………….

That's why I find myself firmly decided, and ready to tell you everything I feel for you. All about the love that threatens to drown me when I think of you. How much I love you……………i don't want you to go again, i don't want to force down these feelings, and lock them in that little box again. Sometimes I feel like it will come the day when my soul will burst of so many trapped things.

That's why now, even if I'm trembling with nervousness and speculations about your answer, I am decided to finally confess. It's been a month since you came back home from the Sishio's battle, a month of healing for you, a month of hiding myself in the shadows, just to steal glimpses of your face, of your meditating hours. I just want to assure myself you're real……….

You're coldness has lessened, but still you're withdrawn and quiet. You only stay at the temple in meditation, or stay in your room, not wanting to be disturbed. It's not exactly what I was hoping, though. I thought that when you finally found the peace you were looking for through your redemption, you would be more open, more expressive? But, there's that saying, that you not always get what you want, ne? There's nothing said about not fighting for it, right?   

And so, winning your heart has become my new battle.

I walk towards your room, I have carefully planned what I will say to you. I am nervous and my hands are sweating, but I'll be firm and won't back off………….

"Offfffff………easy, Misao, calm down, everything will work out, you'll see……….."

I tell myself while I take deep breaths to calm my jittering nerves, but the closer I get, the more I tremble………….

"Okay, here we go. You stay calm and try hard not to screw things with your big mouth……………."

I muse to my inner self again, and then I found myself standing in front of his door, ready to call.

"Aoshi-sama? May I come in?"

I ask, as natural as I manage, though it took me two tries to get my voice past my lips. I wait impatiently until he answers from inside. Of course he only took a scarce three seconds to reply, but I am gir—woman in love, for us the seconds can be like hours………

"You can come in………"

Well, he didn't sound that much excited, but anyway, that's the way he always sounds. I won't be bothered by it. I slip open the tobira, lean in my head just to spot him in the confines of his room. He is sitting in the back of the room, facing the wall and not me. I step inside and close the tobira behind me. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you….."

I step shyly closer to him……..

"It's no problem at all……….."

(He turns completely without standing up, now sitting in front of Misao.)

He looks at me like nothing is really happening, as he inclines his head, signaling for me to sit down. I do it, while I twitch my hands in my lap, now becoming more nervous with him in front of me. I lower my eyes for an instant, just to raise it again and find his eyes locked with mine………..ahhhhhhhhhh! What's wrong with me?! Why can't I speak a word? Just looking at him, and I'm petrified.  

"Do you need something?"

He looks at me without any real expression, nor curiosity or oddness for my coming into his room like this. 

"Well, I…………..I wanted to talk to you………ab-about something really important"

I hold my hands with trepidation, as if that little gesture could scare the nervousness, gathering my courage and trying not to stutter again……..

"Well?"

He prompts, but the words wont' come out, I even forgot the planned words I had ready. Now the only thing left to do is being spontaneous. Come on, Misao, that's exactly your strong point. At least he's speaking, and that's something. You must say it!

"Well, Aoshi-sama, I want……..you know, I …………and you………..and I……"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! Why can't I stop stuttering? Surely I look like a fool now, I'm talking nonsense here! No, Misao, stop this! There won't be another chance, this has to be the one! Don't wait for tomorrow, it could too late! Courage, and lets do this! Don't let him intimidate you, you can do it!!

That served as my prep talk, I know.

He only stared blankly at me, as if waiting to listen something reasonable came out of my mouth, while I continued shifting my glance downwards and upwards. There's something in his eyes, something almost alluring, that seems to pull me in, such a deep color, that makes me even more nervous, and I feel my whole body shiver ever so slightly.

Okay, enough musing. Time to take matters in my hands. 

"Eerrr….Aoshi-sama, I can't begin to tell you how happy I am because you are here with us, you know? I remember when I was a child, and just how happy I felt staying with you, with the onnis, and now………I feel that same happiness…………well, not really, I may even be happier………….You know that I looked for you a long time because, you know that I ….that I ca-care………..and well, I was also so worried thinking of you and everything you went through, specially when you returned to the Aoia after that terrible battle……………."

His eyes, his gorgeous eyes only continue gazing at me, and I can't see not the most minimal interest nor in his glance or his attitude. He listens carefully, maybe because he's interested in my words but hiding it? Or maybe because he's only waiting for me to shut up and go away? Or he is expecting some supportive words from me, wishing him well and a soon recuperation?  

Still, I think I'm not doing it all that bad, ne ? I better keep focused and continue. Onwards I went.

"You know that………that I have come to be……very fond of you………..like no one before………I mean, I love old Okina, and Okon, Omasu and the rest of the guys too……………but I love them as………as the family I don't remember having………………."

What was that? Did I just see the slightest of the flicks in Aoshi's eyes? Yes, his eyes widened a mere fraction……………I think he finally deciphered what this is all about……………Come on, Misao, just a little bit more………………

"But what I feel for you is………..different………….a different kind of affection…………"

All of a sudden I move closer to him, almost bumping my knees with his, gathering my wits about me and daring my hands to extend forward and take hold of his own hands. My face feels indescribably warm, surely I am sporting the most scandalous blush, almost near to spontaneous combustion, but I can't help it……………He now looks at me with this rare surprised expression, but remained silent.    

"Aoshi-sama……….I love you………."

I said in almost a whisper, feeling like my heart was about to burst out of my chest. I now stared right into his eyes, the way I hadn't been able to do it before. My heart kept pounding faster and faster. And the silent seconds continued to tick away time.

I wanted an answer from him! I needed an answer from him!! 

"Aoshi-sama, I really love you………you can't imagine how much I love you……….."   

I can't hold anymore and let myself wrap around him, hugging him as if it won't be a tomorrow ahead of us, trying and transmit all my love through that gesture, all the hopes I hold, all the illusion my heart holds inside, my incredible strong yearnings to hug him like this since long time ago………..

~ ¤ ~ End Flash back~ ¤ ~

And what did you do right after that, Shinomori? You turned away, rejected me, coldly and cruelly. You didn't even say a word, only took hold of my arms and pushed me away. Without giving me second glance, without a stupid word. Nothing at all. As if I was not a living being pouring her stupid childish heart at your feet. You stood up and left the room.

I called after you, even before you crossed the damned door, but you didn't turn back neither said anything. You just walked away.

And I thought my heart would break. No, no. My heart broke, shattered into million slithers. You don't know how much you hurt me.

I didn't want to hear anything, or know anything, or acknowledge anything. I just sat there and cried. Cried until I felt like my eyes would dry. Cried until I felt that remaining in that room was just unbearable, and I fled to my own room. And that fool child of me broke into cries again, until it was too much and fell asleep. I didn't leave my room all day long, didn't eat a single thing.

And just to rub salt in the wound, I woke up the following day to the news, that you had left the Aoia without telling anyone where you were headed, or why. You just took your twin swords and the most necessary things, which meant you weren't thinking of coming back any time soon.

But five years? It was way too long.

And still, you come back, expecting me to fall over heels for you, into your arms?

You can't get more stupid. Go back to the reality, Shinomori, it's time for you to open your eyes. And feel just a bit of the things I felt. It won't be pretty, I assure you that. Maybe this way you will learn to never play with someone's feelings………….never.    

To Be Continued.

A/N: So, how is it? Please leave a review!!!! As the story unfolds, I'll be switching POVs, alternating them from Misao's to Aoshi's, so you can get a glimpse of both their thoughts. That way you can judge things fair and square. I hope you're enjoying this fic. Sorry for the long time in the updating. Work and study somehow manage to steal my time, but I'll continue writing as long as you give me some encouragement. I've got surprises for you!!!! And don't forget to feel free of mailing me, if you feel like it. Please? Onegai? That's it, yes, leave a review too!!!! Thanks a lot.

Translator's Notes: Okay, if we're going to be fair, i've got to admit my own share of fault here for the long lapse of time between postings. Yuriko, the authoress, is writing the 6th chapter right now (in Spanish) and it's been kind of my fault here not to translate as fast as I wish I could. Just as she said, work and studies have the power to keep us damn busy. So, any can or vegetable's throwing can be made at me, Shin's Voice. (My, Yuriko, what a noble buddy you got here, it sounds like I'm applying to sainthood or something. Gee, the God of Dead is not this mushy, but I'm making an exception here, only 'coz it's you)