Chapter 3: Various Illuminating Conversations

Monica woke, feeling full of energy, as she generally was in the mornings, and hitched herself up to look down at her partner, still sound asleep. Once again she blessed the luck that had brought them together. She did not think she could ever tire of looking at Rachel's sweet face, now relaxed and smiling in her sleep. An answering smile, rather more wicked, appeared on Monica's face. It was no wonder Rachel looked happy, after their activities last night. Really, sometimes they were no better than a pair of horny teenagers discovering sex for the first time.  But it was great to be feeling this way still when they had been together for well over a year and married for several months. She came close to leaning down to kiss Rachel's inviting lips, but managed to restrain herself. Rachel was often grumpy in the mornings, and particularly disliked being woken up before she was ready.

So Monica lay back and thought about things. There was plenty to occupy her mind. What was up with Phoebe? Did Ross really have a crush on Janice, and, for that matter, did Janice have a crush on Emily? There was something there between Janice and Emily, she was almost sure. And what about Richard? He was back in her life, if on very different terms, and although she found no trace within herself of the love that she had once felt for him, she did wish him well and want him to be happy. He might make a good match for Janice, and she was sure he would be a good father. That thought suddenly started another in her, and she had a new and very interesting idea. It was so interesting that she came close to waking Rachel up to tell her about it, but again she had second thoughts. Rachel might need a lot of persuasion to agree to this one, and it would not be politic to start by waking her up ahead of time. So she got up, made herself a coffee, and sat at the kitchen table, planning her approach.

Presently Rachel shuffled in yawning. "Morning, hun," she said, smiling at Monica. "What's got you up so bright and early?"

"I was thinking," said Monica, "and I had an idea, about how I should get pregnant. But I think you might want to get washed and dressed before we discuss it."

"Okay," said Rachel. Her eyes glinted. "Shower together?"

"Right!" said Monica, happily putting down her coffee and going to join her.

Rather later, giggling a little but prepared for the day, they returned to make breakfast. Once Rachel was seated with her coffee and a bowl of cereal – Monica insisted that she eat something at breakfast, saying starting a long day on nothing but coffee was not good for her and would diminish her ability to work – she looked across at Monica and smiled. "Okay, what's this great idea of yours?"

Monica swallowed. Suddenly she was not at all sure that Rachel would take this well.

"Um, we, we, um, er, we … askRichardtoprovidethesperm!" she shot out finally.

Rachel froze for a moment, then set her mug down very carefully. "Tell me why this is a good idea," she said quietly.

"Well, it, it will …" Monica ground to a halt. Why had she thought it such a good idea? She realised that she had just thought of it as a way of patching things up with Richard and keeping him in her life.

"You wanted to give Richard something, didn't you?" said Rachel, echoing Monica's thoughts. "How did you think I would feel about that?" Her voice was still quiet, but with a definite edge.

"Sweetie, I swear I no longer have any feelings for him," said Monica very earnestly. "But he was the man I loved most, of all the lovers I've had, and I thought … it would be a way of saying thank you for what I had with him."

"But what this is doing, is continuing the relationship with him in another way," said Rachel perceptively. "I guess he's bound to want a say in the child's upbringing." She paused, while Monica watched her anxiously. Then she sighed. "You really want to do this?"

Monica looked at her uneasily. "I, I … you're probably right, but I would like to do this, yes," she said haltingly.

Rachel looked at her directly, her eyes unreadable. Then she produced a reluctant smile. "Okay, go ahead and try," she said, "but personally, I bet he'll say no. I'm not sure any man would want to do this for an old lover that he's still hung up on, but who wants nothing more to do with him."

Monica jumped up and ran round to hug her. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "I promise I'll make him be nice to you and not cut you out of the parenting or anything like that."

"I'd like to see him try," said Rachel rather belligerently. "At the very least, I expect him to behave like Ross does with Carol and Susan, except that I would rather he wasn't edgy with me the way Ross used to be with Susan, though he's better now."

"Sure, sure, sure," said Monica. "Now, I should get something ready for dinner before I head off to Alessandro's. For being so nice about this, you get to pick."

Rachel smiled at her in a more relaxed way. "Can I have that oven-fried chicken with parmesan, and cream sauce, and Pommes Anna and green beans?" she asked eagerly.

"No problem," said Monica. "That's a fairly easy meal. I can get some things ready now." She started rooting in the freezer compartment for chicken joints.

"Great!" said Rachel enthusiastically. "Ooh, I'll be thinking about it all day. Maybe I'll ring up Emily and make her jealous." She giggled.

"Yeah, Emily," said Monica pensively. "Rach, do you think there's anything between Janice and Emily?" As Rachel looked at her in surprise, she added, "They seem very intimate and … rather physical with each other."

"Wow!" said Rachel, her eyes wide. "Janice and Emily? That's a show-stopper." She shook her head. "I agree, they do seem to be very touchy-feely." Suddenly she looked worried. "Oh God, Mon, we can't have a second wife of Ross's turning lesbian on him! That would be just awful."

"I know, sweetie," said Monica rather gloomily, "but you know as well as I do, you can't stop these things – you can only try to limit the damage. Which brings up another thing: what do you think is up with Phoebe? She's making more fuss about our baby than we are – and she also seems to have a thing about Ross."

"Yeah?" said Rachel interestedly. "I admit, I hadn't noticed that, but I did pick up on the baby thing. Do you think she's getting desperate for one of her own? It was very hard for her to give the triplets up, you remember. I'm not sure she's ever completely got over it."

Monica sighed. "Seems only too likely. Oh well, we'll just have to be supportive. You'd better be getting off to work soon, sweetie."

"Oh yeah!" said Rachel, looking at her watch. She ran off to the bathroom to brush her teeth, then came hurrying back, grabbed her bag and coat, and moved to give Monica a hug.

"I can handle it, if Richard says yes," she murmured. "But if he says no, just go to the sperm bank, okay? Don't try to change his mind. I don't want us to wait much longer."

"Okay, sweetie," said Monica, very happy that Rachel should be willing to go along with this. "Have a good day at work."

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"I couldn't say no to her, Emily," said Rachel over the phone. "She obviously wants to have Richard's child, as a kind of permanent memorial to their relationship."

"It's playing with fire," said Emily, quite firmly. "But I can sympathise with you. It is difficult to refuse things to the person who you love, and who loves you. Well, we'll just have to hope he won't do it."

Rachel sighed. "I guess. So, anyway, how are things going with you?"

"Oh," said Emily, as if it had not occurred to her that she would be asked this. "Well, um … oh yes, Janice has said that she's going to see if she can get me a job!" Suddenly she sounded excited. "She has all kinds of contacts. Isn't that nice of her?"

"You seem to have become very good friends," Rachel remarked casually.

"Oh, the best!" Emily enthused. "It's not that I don't value the friendship that you and Monica and Phoebe give me, but somehow Janice and I have really clicked."

"And how's Ross?" Rachel asked. "He likes Janice too now, doesn't he?"

"Oh yes, they get along very well," said Emily. "She really puts herself out to talk to him about things that he's interested in, which I find so admirable in her. To be honest, I can't get interested in palaeontology and all that beyond a certain point – which is about one minute into one of Ross's monologues." She giggled infectiously, and Rachel joined in. "But now he has Janice to tell everything to, he's much better about not boring me with it."

"Yeah, I used to find Ross hard to take when he wanted to tell me things," said Rachel, smiling at the memories. "But he has so many other good qualities."

"Yes," said Emily, "he's a very good husband." A certain enthusiasm seemed to be lacking in her voice.

"Emily," said Rachel with some seriousness, "everything is okay between you two, isn't it? I wouldn't ask, except that we have wondered if … something was bothering you."

There was a short silence, and then Emily sighed. "There is something … or rather, two things.  The most evident is that he's eager to start a family, so he's not keen on the idea of my getting a full-time job. The other is, I don't like to say this, but it seems to me that Phoebe gets very close to coming on to him sometimes – and it's not just silly flirting, the way men and women do with each other – and either he doesn't notice, or he doesn't mind. And this goes with … well, it's hard to describe, but sometimes I think he's not really there, he's off in his mind somewhere, and not with me. He seems to switch between these: he will seem distant, and then he will get all eager about starting a family."

"Mm," went Rachel. "To be honest, Emily, I don't want to worry you, but I don't like the sound of that. Seems to me, he could be eager to start a family to kind of force himself to focus on his marriage to you and stop straying in his mind. Do you think he's thinking about Phoebe when he goes off like that – or could it even be Janice?"

"You think he has a crush on Janice?" said Emily, sounding alarmed.

"I have begun to think so, and Monica agrees it looks like it," said Rachel. "It's almost like we did too good a job on her. There's Joey, and the way Gunther looks at her sometimes, I think he's another – "

"Oh, this is terrible!" Emily broke in, sounding tearful. "She's my best friend. I don't want to stop inviting her round – she doesn't get out all that much, you know, and she really enjoys it, and I love having her visit. Is, is there anything we can do?" She seemed almost distraught.

"Certainly don't stop inviting her round," said Rachel. "That wouldn't solve anything, since he would still see her at our Saturday evening get-togethers, and any time they're both in Central Perk. Could you maybe tell her very gently that we think Ross has a crush on her and it would be a good thing if she discouraged it some way? Maybe she could get conspicuously interested in someone else – like Richard, for instance."

"I suppose I could," said Emily dubiously.

"Try it," said Rachel briskly, for she had perceived that her boss Kim, who had come in a minute or two previously, was fixing a beady glance on her and knew that she ought to get on with her work. "Look, I've got to go, but … ring this evening if you want to talk some more."

"All right," said Emily, and rang off.

Rachel looked apologetically at Kim. "Sorry, but … problems."

Kim smiled a little. "Not between you and Monica, I hope?"

"Not really," said Rachel. "It's her brother, who's married to Emily."

"Ah yes, the English girl," said Kim, who had found out a good deal about Rachel's circle in a short time by well-placed questions. "Well, okay, we all use the firm's time sometimes, but don't do it too often, Rachel, please." Suddenly she smiled. "How's the great pregnancy project?"

"Well, that's our problem," said Rachel, "but it's not such an important one. You remember about Richard?"

"Sure, the grand passion of Monica's life before you got together," said Kim, "and he came back, and she said no, very firmly."

"Yes," said Rachel softly, savouring the memory. "She … she really loves me." Suddenly overcome with emotion, she fumbled for a tissue, and dabbed at her eyes hastily.

Kim looked at her sympathetically. "However much you think your partner loves you, it's always great to have it confirmed. So, something new about Richard?"

"She wants to ask him to provide the sperm for the baby," said Rachel rather bleakly.

Kim looked startled. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I know," said Rachel miserably, "but, I was saying to Emily, how could I say no to her? She seems quite set on it, though she only thought of it this morning. And if he agrees, it means I'll always have him around looking down on me because I'm not smart!" She wiped away another tear that had suddenly appeared.

"The man's an intellectual snob," Kim snapped. "You're plenty smart for our business, but I suppose he would think us all frivolous nitwits. Okay, now I'm up to speed on things, so let's both use our smarts to get on with some work." She smiled in a way that robbed the comment of any real sting.

"Sure, Kim," said Rachel, "and – thanks for letting me talk about it."

Kim smiled. "My boss used to get me talking about my relationships and friends when I was in the same kind of position as you," she said. "I found it very good for clearing my mind. Maybe that was why she did it. Although I must say, nothing my friends and I did was anything like as … remarkable as what you and your friends seem to become involved in all the time."

Rachel giggled, feeling much better. She did not mind that Kim seemed to treat her life and that of her friends as a kind of soap opera and was always after her for fresh information. It helped them to get on. Her mind eased by her talks with Emily and Kim, she began to apply herself wholeheartedly to her work.

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Joey and Phoebe sat together in Central Perk. Since both worked irregular hours, they were now the ones most often to be found there. Emily and Janice had used to drop in frequently, but now, as Joey was complaining to Phoebe, they always seemed to be off somewhere together.

"It's like they're joined at the hip," he said moodily. "I like Emily, but I don't want to have her around all the time, especially when I'm trying to get Janice interested in me. Anyway, they're always doing their imitations and stuff when they're here together, or talking about something I know nothing about, and I can hardly get a word in."

Phoebe looked sympathetic. "You really have got a case over Janice, don't you?"

"I think of her all the time," said Joey in anguished tones. "I hardly date other girls any more. I just can't seem to get interested enough in them to put the work in."

"She really has got rings through everyone's noses," said Phoebe rather cattily. "You, Ross, Emily, Gunther – you've all got crushes on her. I'm not sure even Ch – "

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" interrupted Joey. "Emily – yeah, I can believe that, and Gunther too, the way he looks at her – but you're saying Ross has a crush on her too?"

"Uh-huh," said Phoebe. "It sticks out a mile sometimes. He loves the way she'll talk to him about his dinosaurs and geological ages and all. I'm not saying she, y'know, encourages it exactly, but she's not doing anything to stop it. And if I had to guess who she has a crush on, I'd say … Emily. And probably that's why she doesn't discourage Ross, so she can go on being invited round to their apartment."

"Wow!" Joey said slowly, on a long outbreath. "You're so good at spotting these things, Pheebs. So, you think she's just stringing me along?"

Phoebe was silent for a moment. She was deciding how far she wanted to go. As far as she could see, Joey's chances with Janice were too small to be worth mentioning, but she did not want to create any real tension in the group.

"Joey," she said kindly, "you ought to take more notice. She's friendly to you, but then she's friendly to all of us.  I think she really values being a member of a group like ours. But I have to be fair to her: she's not doing a thing that a woman would, like, recognise as encouragement. You just have to accept that she's not interested in you that way."

"Aw shit!" said Joey, viciously punching the back of the couch where they were sitting. "Just my luck! When I get really interested in a woman, it never works out. Kate went off to LA, and Janice doesn't want me." Suddenly he sat up straight and looked decisive. "I'm gonna go out and find a date tonight, and if I can't I'm gonna go to a strip club. I'll see if I can get Chandler and Kathy to come along. Do you want to make a fourth, Pheebs?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, why not? Let's go out and, like, drown our sorrows together!"

"Why, what sorrows do you have, Pheebs?" said Joey, suddenly concerned for his friend.

"Never you mind," she replied. "It's something I can't tell people just now. Maybe some day … but not now."

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Will Richard agree to Monica's proposal? Will Joey get over Janice? What is going on between Janice and Emily? Will Ross and Emily sort out their problems? What is bothering Phoebe? Future chapters will reveal answers to these and other questions.