Chapter 40 – Insecurities
A/N – Okay, sorry it took a while. Sorry it's again quite short. Without giving you any more gush, here it is…

Chapter 40 – Insecurities

"Harry, try and stay awake." Said a kind but insistent voice.

Harry's eyes flickered open and he looked around for who had spoken, a very old looking man with bright blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses stepped forward and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"W-Where am I?" Stammered Harry, wishing that he dared to ask all of the other questions that were crowding his mind.

"You're safe, just relax Harry, you're at Hogwarts, you're safe." Said another man who looked very tired and old beyond his years, smiling softly.

Harry looked at the girl who had spoken when he'd first woken up.

She was terribly familiar to him but he just couldn't grasp the memory of her name or what importance she had. He smiled weakly at her which seemed to please her a great deal, she looked like she wanted to hug, but she restrained herself twisting her hands in her lap.

Harry's eyes then wandered to the bed across the room, a young woman was in the bed sleeping deeply, a girl with flowing red curls that were threatening to escape the band that held them back from her face was tending the woman and mumbling comfortingly under her breath.

Harry felt a jolt of recognition.

"Ginny?" He rasped.

The girl turned round quickly and looked questioningly at the old man before nodding and grinning at Harry.

"Hi Harry, how are you feeling?" She murmured.

"Not great, but I don't know quite why…" Replied Harry with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"You should just rest, leave the thinking for later." She said smiling sympathetically.

"Yes, Miss Weasley is quite right, just concentrate on getting rest Harry, we can talk later." Said the old man.

"Okay." Replied Harry trying to relax.

Questions prodded at his mind and wouldn't let him rest.

He fought them back, for now he'd deal with the deep exhaustion of his body rather than the blankness of his memory.

But before he'd even closed his eyes yet more people entered the room, Harry frowned, his mind was screaming at him to recognise them all, but something wouldn't let him. He squeezed his eyes shut in protest at the pounding of his head.

"Harry!" Cried a man who had entered. Before Harry or anyone else could protest the man had flung his arms around him and was squeezing him in a tight hug.

Harry, who was rather confused and startled remained limp in the mans arms trying to stop his head from spinning, the warmth of the embrace and the aching in his heart for memories was making him feel light headed.

"Sirius Black! Let him breathe, he needs to rest!" Shouted a woman who was unmistakeably the matron, from across the room where she was trying to awaken a strange little man who was completely out cold.

The man who was hugging him, who Harry gathered must be Sirius sighed and released Harry who flopped back into his bed feeling the tiredness even more acutely.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so relieved to see you Harry…" The man stopped as he caught the elderly man's eye and fell silent.

A prim looking woman in the doorway beckoned to the curly haired girl calling her Hermione and led her out of the room.

The three men who surrounded Harry were deep in conversation which Harry was too tired to follow, instead he watched Ginny, he was so relieved to have someone he recognised nearby, he knew that Ginny was a friend, and if she trusted the others he could do the same.

Smiling at the decision Harry closed his eyes and sank deeply into his covers.

~~~*~~~*~~~

Ginny smiled at Harry's now sleeping form, he'd looked so lost and confused when he'd woken up, he hadn't seemed to recognise anyone but her, not even Hermione or Sirius! But he seemed to trust them.

Ginny's smile grew, Harry's trusting nature was something she admired most about him, she was very glad that it hadn't been taken away from him.

Harry's closed eyes deprived Ginny of the greenness that she always found so entrancing but it was worth it to see him so relaxed and peaceful…

Ginny was torn from her thoughts as the woman beside her stirred. Dawn Inigma was waking up.

"Madame Pomfrey! It's Professor Inigma." Called Ginny softly,

A small groan escaped the teacher's lips as she started to move.

"Rest easy Dawn, you're in good hands." Said Professor Lupin from beside Ginny, she turned to him and smiled.

"Thanks Professor."

Madame Pomfrey bustled over and felt Inigma's forehead.

"Her fever seems to have gone, she's broken it. The illness must be receding. Feed her some of the soup that Blinky brought would you Ginny, she'll be hungry when she's properly awake."

"No need Ginny, I'm sure Remus would be quite happy to do it himself!" Called Sirius from across the room.

"Shut up Snuffles." Said Lupin turning an interesting shade of red.

Ginny smiled and left to fetch the soup.

~~~*~~~*~~~

Fletcher and Wormtail sat and stared at each other for five minutes after Harry had left. Neither one could quite believe what they had just done.

Mundungus felt complete despair, nothing could convince him that what he'd just done was wrong, but it meant that he would certainly die, and that thought wasn't comforting.

Peter Pettigrew was sitting on the window ledge wondering if it wouldn't be best to throw himself out of it, but then, he thought, it would be just my luck to only break both my legs and still live to be tortured by the dark lord until I die.

He shivered at the prospect.

Finally the silence was broken when Fletcher stood up.

"Where are you going?" Asked Peter.

"I can't just sit here waiting for death, there's someone I betrayed who I need to help." He replied brushing down the nasty black robes.

"Who?" Asked Peter getting up from the ledge having taken one last look at the stormy sky.

"Why should I tell you that? I'm going." And with that Mundungus turned on his heel and strode off down the corridor.

Peter watched his retreating back and suddenly came to a decision.

It's no good me just waiting around here, I might as well follow him.

And he too set off down the corridor, but not before transforming into a rather scruffy looking grey rat.

~~~*~~~*~~~

Ron and Neville had peeked through the door at Harry, unwilling to wait outside and be denied a glance at their friend, they had to stem gasps of surprise when they saw what little reaction Harry gave to Sirius, what on Earth could have changed their friend so much? Then McGonagall, who Ron noticed had been taking as much interest in Harry as they had, called Hermione out of the room.

Ron and Neville smiled at Hermione who looked upset.

"What's wrong Mione?" Asked Ron grabbing her hand.

"Miss Granger, I think you'd best explain this evening's events to these two whilst I go and check on the rest of the Gryffindors. You can use that classroom." Said McGonagall before she swept off down the hall.

Hermione nodded and the three of them bundled into the classroom she'd pointed to and sat down.

Hermione described the night in as much detail as she could remember, and when she came to Harry's arrival Ron and Neville's jaws were both well and truly stuck open.

"He flew!" Gasped Ron

Hermione then described Harry's duel, but Neville stopped her quickly,

"What do you mean he used a spell to stand up?"

"Harry, c-can't use his legs." Said Hermione in a quiet voice, Neville went very pale but Ron stood up his face red.

"Why the hell did Harry offer to fight Voldemort if he couldn't even stand! The teachers let him?! DUMBLEDORE let him?!"

Hermione pulled Ron back down to his seat.

"Ron. Keep your voice down, let me explain what happened."

She finished describing what had happened wincing at the way Harry had barely acknowledged her in the Hospital Wing.

When she finished speaking she looked at the two boys expectantly waiting for their barrage of questions, but there was silence.

"Aren't you going to ask anything?" She demanded softly.

Neville shook his head and kept his eyes on his hands. Ron stood up and started pacing the room.

Then suddenly his head shot up.

"You said You-Know-Who cast the Anillia Equanimia after Harry snapped his wand…" He exclaimed.

"Yes." Said Hermione realisation hitting her.

"Ron! I hadn't realised before in all the commotion! That was wandless magic!" She almost yelled.

"This means that Voldemort is more powerful than we ever knew." Said Neville lifting his gaze to look at Ron and Hermione who were both looking at him as though he'd sprouted one of the beards that Fred and George had gotten last year.

"W-What?" He asked.

"You said V-Voldemort!" Said Hermione

"Yeah, you said it like Harry says it, as though it doesn't matter." Said Ron

Neville blushed,

"Well, Harry's right. It shouldn't matter." He said decidedly.

Ron and Hermione nodded and the three agreed that from now on they would always use the name no matter what.

Suddenly they heard a shout from the other room.

"WHAT?!" Thundered Sirius staring at Dumbledore with a slightly crazed look on his face.

"YOU MEAN THAT YOU LET HIM DUEL WITH VOLDEMORT IN HIS CONDITION?!"

Dumbledore looked back at Sirius his own eyes blazing.

"Yes I did. And if I hadn't Voldemort would most certainly have destroyed Hogwarts by now, and we would probably all be dead."

At this point Harry's startled face caused Sirius to shut up instantly.

"I'm sorry Harry." He mumbled looking at the floor.

Remus nudged him and he sighed and added

"I'm sorry to you as well Professor."

Dumbledore looked slightly surprised.

"You are right to have been angry, you care a lot for Harry and I let him be put in danger. And its Albus remember."

Sirius nodded and turned back to Harry.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked feeling suddenly very strange knowing that his Godson probably didn't even recognise him. He searched Harry's face for any sign of recognition but there was none, only confusion and bland acceptance.

Sirius closed his eyes and sighed and he almost didn't notice that Remus was leading him away from Harry until they were halfway across the room.

"I want to stay with him." He whispered.

"I know." Replied Remus, "But you can't help him yet, it's best if we let Albus talk to him alone for a while. Besides I think that Albus could use a little rest without you around to make him feel even guiltier about what happened. He had to duel as well you know."

Sirius nodded and followed Moony out of the Hospital Wing. This was going to be hard, but at least Harry was safe. Thought Sirius.

There was someone else however who Sirius might have worried about if he'd known just how much danger he was in…

Voldemort would not disappear for long.

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A/N

Once again, sorry for the delay in getting this out.

Also a MASSIVE Thankyou to those who reviewed, I will try and get some personal responses to your reviews, if not for the last few chapters then at least for this one, coz it's mean not to if you take the time to comment on my work.

Thanks!

Love

jona

xxx