Chappy 6
This is the longest anything I have ever written. SORRY!! Please don't get bored... pleeeeaaaaseeee. Oh ya and I am fully aware that the beginning of this chapter may piss some people off, sorry 'bout that.
Ganondorf sat in the realm of evil drinking tea. His fingers flew over a
keyboard as he typed a message to one of his main captains.
Ganondorf: *muttering* I may have been stopped from personally taking over the world but they can't stop me from getting someone else to conquer it for me! *presses send*
His laptop: Your plans to take over the Iraq and whatever else is near by have been sent to Burninghotbush@hotmail.com
Suddenly a message popped up on the top part of the screen:
"Link has left Hyrule for reasons unknown"
Ganondorf: WHAT?! Link... left... Hyrule... now after 50 billion times of rebuilding my castle and returning to power just to have it all blow up in my face over and over exactly the same way, because of him... He's gone. *looks around for exit* *walks through door with flashing exit sign over top and no lock* ya know if they really wanted to keep me in here they really should have tried a little harder with security.
Ganondorf took one step out the door and yelped as he dropped downwards through the clouds towards Hyrule.
IN SSBM HEADQUARTERS
Zelda: *turns into sheik and smashes her cell door down* FEEL MY WRATH FOOLISH IMBECILES!
Lizard Breath (now referred to as LB): Watch out the crazy blonde's loose!
Foofbunny: You or Zelda?
LB: *glares at Foofbunny* Zelda you horrible wretch
Anna: *Once again locks in deadly battle with Zelda* Eirian? A little help here please!
Eirian: *hucks Link mask at Zelda hitting her on the head with such force it breaks in two and she's KOd*
Anna: Nice! Very Nice! Now remind me why we're keeping her around in the first place?
Foofbunny: *shrugs* Keeping crazy people captive is my hobby.
Anna: No wonder you have me over so much. Hobby or not I want to get rid of her. Back to Hyrule we go! *pushes Zelda & Foofbunny into fiery portal leading to Hyrule*
Eirian: *Whining* Nooo! Crazy people amuse me!
Last thing Eirian sees is Mikau and LB waving goodbye
Eirian: YOU'D BETTER NOT TOUCH HIM!!!
Zelda, Eirian and Anna land in Hyrule. Anna picks up Zelda and tosses her
into a near by bush.
Anna: Ok that done let's-
Ganondorf: AHHHHH! *lands on Anna* *WHAM*
Anna: Ahhh! My spleen!
Foofbunny: So you must be that elf guy I've heard so much about.
Ganondorf: *gets up and dusts himself off* Perhaps, though I don't know from whom you might obtain any information about me. I am the Great Ganondorf. Fear ME!
Foofbunny: And I'm the Easter bunny! *jumps around saying "I'm the Easter bunny" in creepy voice*
Ganondorf: MOCK ME NOT!
Anna: *Get's up and rubs her back* Since we're in Hyrule and from his weight I'm guessing that's Ganondor- *looks up at Ganondorf* *freezes in mid sentance* Gawk...
Ganondorf stood there running his claw like fingernails through his long red hair. His big elf ears waved in the wind (In the background Eirian is
throwing eggs everywhere) his one black earring shining. His amber eyes glistened, over his left eye there ran a long red slash, making him squint
a little on that side.
Eirian: You've changed since we last played the game.
Anna: *drool drool, stare stare*
Ganondorf: I've always had elf ears just Link kept hacking them off. Ears and Hair grow back. Not that I have any good reason to tell you this. Thanks for breaking my fall, and goodbye. I must get back to taking over Hyrule.
Anna: *snaps back to reality* NO WAIT!
Ganondorf: *turns* What?
Anna: What do you really want?
Ganondorf: I really want you to leave me the hell alone. *thinks about it for a second* and to get a fair chance to beat up Zelda and Link without those annoying sages in the way. Stupid sages. Always ruining my fun! They just need to get close to me and the game cuts into a cut scene I can't control and I get tossed into some stupid white realm with an annoying exit sign that blinks every five seconds so I can't bloody well sleep and all there is to do is eat crumpets, drink tea and email my every plan to the worlds superpowers (aw man my grammer teacher would hate that sentence so much she'd probably blow up... that gives me an idea... Hey lucy! Lucy appears: *looks at sentence and spontainiously combusts* Anna: Bwahahaha. I have so much power) !!! ARGH I HATE THOSE BLOODY SAGES!!!! *calms down* But you couldn't possibly do that so I would really appreciate it if you granted my first wish. *smiles rudely* *walks away*
Eirian: *muttering* talk about bad temper.
Anna: *flies over and lands in front of Ganondorf* What if we could?
Ganondorf: *stare* What?
Anna: And Hyrule is a pretty dumpy little place with way to many heroes popping up everywhere don't you think? How would you like to get a chance to look at your other options?
Ganondorf: *stare* Who are you?
Anna: My name is Anna and the bunny is Eirian or Foofbunny. We are on a mission to recruit characters for an all new fighting game. So far we've got DK, Young Link, Link, Zora Link, and Zelda.
Eirian: NO! Mikau can't fight! He's to wholesome and nice and handsome... He might bruise his face. Mikau fight not.
Ganondorf: *Stare* No sages? No random cut scenes?
Anna: None whatsoever.
Ganondorf: *looks at her suspiciously* what's in it for you?
Anna: We want you to participate as one of the characters in our game. I leave the other characters in our headquarters and you can come with us as we go to different worlds. That's it. We just have to ask you to wait with beating up Link and Zelda until the games really begin. So... Deal?
Ganondorf: ... this sounds to good to be true...
Eirian: But it is true!
Ganondorf: Fine. I'll go with you. But if this is some sort of trick... you're bunny friend gets it.
Eirian: WHAT?!! WHY ME?
Ganondorf: A: you aren't the author B: you don't have magic C: You mocked me and I don't like you rabbit girl.
Eirian: YOU REDHEADED CREEP! YOU'LL GET IT FOR THAT! *jumps towards Ganondorf*
Ganondorf is about to blast her when Twinrova (a pair of really old and
ugly twin witches one ice one fire) come down and scoop Ganondorf into their arms. Then they fly off towards the spirit temple off in the desert.
Kotake (the ice witch): Oh Ganondorf you're so cool! *strokes his hair *
Koume (fire) swooned "I always wanted to tell you that I think you're really hot! Gives him a kiss on the cheek.
Ganondorf: ARRRRRRRGH! IT'S TWINROVA!! HELP!!! NO!! *slaps Kotake's hand and tries to claw away* BAD! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T LIKE YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST CALLED YOU BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES ONCE TO RECRUIT YOU FOR MY AWESOME ARMY OF DOOM! I THINK YOUR UGLY OLD HAGS! DON'T TOUCH ME! Arrrrrghhhhhhhh!!! Save me Anna and rabbit girl... *disappears into distance*
Eirian: *pant pant* GOOD RIDDANCE YOU SNIVILING RED HAIRED BLOB!!! *fill eyes as she falls to the eyes* I'm a bunnnnnyyyyy...
Anna: NO NOT GOOD!! WE JUST LOST A CHARACTER FOR OUR GAME, SPECIFICALLY A CHARACTER I REALLY LIKED!!! After them!!
Anna charged through Termina field dragging a protesting Eirian behind her. They arrived at a ranch (Lon Lon Ranch for those who know it), ran in, paid
their due respects to mister Ingo (so cool)
Anna: *runs up to Mister Ingo* HI YOU SO COOL! SOME GOOD ADVICE SHAVE YOUR
NECK! GOODBYE!
Mister Ingo:... Wha?
Eirian: Real cool man keep it up and please shave your neck bye!
Mister Ingo: Shave my... *Looks in a mirror and realizes that his whole
throat is covered in huge bushels of hair* oh... I thought it was a
beard...
By this time Anna and Eirian had already highjack the horse corral and
jumped some impossibly high fences with Epona (Link's stolen horse... kinda). They rode towards the desert at full speed Anna with a determined look on her face and Eirian with a look no one could see because her face was covered in mud from being dragged. Finally they arrived at the Gerudo valley (which you must get through to get to the desert). Epona jumped a huge chasm but was abruptly stopped by a Gerudo guard (quick briefing on the Gerudos: the Gerudos are a band of thieves that leave in the desert. They are all females (don't ask) and only one male Gerudo is born every 100
years. Ganondorf is this centuries' male Gerudo.)
Gerudo: HALT! I cannot let you pass.
Anna: Do you mind? We're on a mission to save YOU'RE 100 year special.
Gerudo: Oh, we don't like him anymore. We've moved on.
Anna: You've... moved... on...?
Gerudo : Yup! We don't think Ganondorf is hip anymore.
Eirian: Join the club sister, Join the club. So who do you like. *Scratches viciously as mud covering her face* ungh..
Gerudo: Orlando Bloom. *eyes go white and starts advancing on Anna, arms outstretched like a monster* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: *Smacks Epona's rear and Epona tramples Gerudo* Creepy Orlando Bloom cultists, they're everywhere.
Eirian: *from behind* *muttering* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: We'd better go along the rest of the way on foot as not to attract attention.
Eirian: Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna dismounted along with Eirian. She rummaged through the saddle bags making sure there wasn't anything useful. She found several bullets, some herbs, and a shoehorn.
Anna: Sheesh... what a weird guy... guns weren't even invented yet, he doesn't know how to use herbs and what is he gonna do with a shoe horn. *shrugs* oh well... *uses the shoe horn pry the dried mud off Eirian's face* Oh my gosh...
Eirian: *eyes white* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: *Stuffs herbs in her mouth thusly curing her*
Eirian: phew... thanks, Now let's go.
Anna: *looks around* Ahaha! That's the way to the desert!
Eirian: Then why aren't we sneaking inconspicuously towards it?
Anna: We would but there just so happens to be a Gerudo with a rather ominous looking saber thing standing right in front of a gigantic gate. No we can't jump it with Epona. I can tell from your look that's just what you were about to ask.
Eirian: *closes mouth*
Anna: I know! I shall create a disturbance and while the Gerudo is chasing me you open the gigantic doors!
Eirian: What are you going to-
Anna: *blows on shoehorn (get it? Shoehorn?)* TOWHOOOT!
Gerudo with omnious looking saber thing : Huh? What? Intruders?!! ATTACK!!
Anna: Ha! Now open the doors while she chases me! *turns around* oh! Poo.
Facing her are the rest of the patrolling Gerudos, that being maybe... 200.
Anna: ah. *licks lips* Ooh my.
Eirian: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Anna: Umm... Haha! *whips out a Tails hand puppet (tails from Sonic... ya know, the fox guy)* Orlando Bloom must be over there! *doesn't make any gesture of the where abouts*
200 Gerudos: *simotainiously* WHERE?? *look around*
Leader Gerudo: OK EVERYONE! SPLIT UP! WE MUST FIND THE GREAT BLOOM!
200 Gerudos: *split up and ignore Anna and Foofbunny*
Foofbunny: where where?
Anna: eheheh. *walks over to gate and pushes it open* TO THE DESERT!!!
So Anna and Foofbunny continue their search for Ganondorf and finally after following some invisible poe without the lens of truth and continuously falling into sandpits (very smelly) Anna whacked the poe over the head and flew (with Eirian) to the Spirit Temple. Dunununun...
OUTSIDE THE SPIRIT TEMPLE
Eirian: Ooh! Looksies looksies! It's a big funny looking rock!
Anna: That's a building Eirian.
Eirian: Ahhh... I see...
Anna: We must save Ganondorf!!! ENTER THE SPIRIT TEMPLE!
Foofbunny: *walks forwards and trips over a moving spiky cactus thing* You've got to be kidding. This is what almost killed you when you were playing this game. *picks up tiny cactus* Now that's sad.
Anna: MOVING ON!
And they did. IN SPIRIT TEMPLE
Anna: *looks around. Room contains nothing but a couple of pots and a big blue block which has "push me" spray painted on it* hmm... a big block. Too lazy to push. *blasts big block into oblivion* I am so powerful.
Eirian: ARGH!!! *is pelted with flying pots* BEGON YOU HORRID POSSESSED POTS! OW! STOP IT! OW! ANNA HELP ME!
Anna: Do not anger the flying pots. Speak calmly to them. Like so. *in gentle tone* stop hurting the bunny my little hollow clay dears. Don't do that it's not ni- *pot breaks in face* Either that or you can blast the crap out of them. Like so. *Blasts pots into crap* I am so powerful.
Eirian: Ewww... dung *walks into next room* AGH!!! *whirls and runs back to nice safe poo*
In the center of the room is a great big statue with a turning head with just one eye on it. It Shoots Lasers.
Statue: *blink blink* ZZZZZZZZZT! *lasers foofbunny's hair so it comes to just below her neck (how her haircut REALLY happened!)*
Eirian's hair: Fizzle fizzle
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! YOU STUPID LITTLE STATUE!!! *Picks up handful of sand and hucks it at statue's eye*
Statue: *head falls off and both body and head blow up in a huge explosion*
Foofbunny: ... *puffs out chest* Haha!
Anna: Explosions unexpected but always enjoyed.
Foofbunny: *starts to float away because so filled with hot air* MPH!
Anna: Oh no! Eirian! *plan forms* any one can throw sand Eirian.
Foofbunny: *deflate* *lands* phew. Was almost proud of myself there. Close one.
Anna: Ok I'm to lazy to do this whole temple. Soo... *Blasts wall next to her with magic* I am so powerful.
Foofbunny: Will you stop saying that.
Anna: But I am.
Both walk into next room. They are standing in a huge hallway with a long red carpet. At the end of it, in a huge chair there's a HUGE Iron Knuckle (not litteraly and iron knuckle. An Iron knuckle in Zelda is a great big metal killing machine thing that has a bloody great ax. And I mean a bloody great ax) Beside it there's a sign.
Anna: *walks up to sign* Hey Eirian! Look, it's a sign written in blood. It says: Wake me and I shall crush you insignificant bones into dust and make a carpet out of your skin. Your eyeballs will make some delicious rice pudding.
While Anna is staring at sign Foofbunny goes up to Iron Knuckle and examines it.
Anna: So obviously we can't wake this masked giant monster or we die. *looks up*
Eirian is poking it.
Eirian: *Poke poke*
Anna: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Iron Knuckle: RAWRG!! *lifts up huge ax and chops down on Eirian*
Eirian: *dives back and spreads legs*
Ax: *sticks into floor just between Foofbunny's limbs*
Eirian: *takes her chance and punches Iron knuckle* *large bruise spreads across hand* OWWWWWW!!!!
Iron Knuckle: *manages to take ax out of ground and brings it up over it's head* *ax falls down towards Eirian's skull with tremendous speed* *suddenly stops*
The Iron Knuckle turned into a smoking mound of ash with a few charred bones in the middle of it. The ax melted and oozed into the dirt.
Anna: *blows on finger* I am so powerful.
Foofbunny: Hey, wasn't Naboru that weird sage lady supposed to be inside that armor because she was brainwashed into attacking us?
Anna: *Goes green* explains the bones... oopsies? *blasts wall next to them* Walks into gynormous room with tons of switches and a giant rock statue in front of her.
Eirian: *walks around trying to figure out the puzzle* *presses several switches* There. This mind bending puzzle is complete due to my superior intellect. *presses final switch*
Meanwhile Anna had blasted open the statue's face 'cause she thought it was ugly (oh how deep) and was standing in front of the boss door.
Anna: NO! Don't!!! *hundreds of rocks dump on her* ARGH!!! MY SQUIGGLY SQOOCH!
Foofbunny: That wasn't supposed to happen. *presses switch again*
*hundreds of rocks dump off Anna*
Eirian: You're alive?
Anna: Alive and full of goo. MISSION GOO! (Thusly I quote Invader Zim. That show is so damn funny) owwww... Ok so let's go find Twinrova! *turns and tries to pull open door*
The door is kept closed by a great big gold chain fastened to the wall at four corners and in the middle by a huge gold dragon head lock.
Anna: *Pulls harder and harder* UNGH!!! It's too strong!
Eirian: *Walks up and pushes door open*
Anna: Ah.
Anna and Eirian wiggle their way into the boss room. In front of them oh the horrors of horrors were Twinrova crooning over Ganondorf. Ganondorf was chained to the floor doing his very best to try to wriggle away but under the combined magics of both witches, no way could he get away. Waiting for his kanigit (knight) in shining armor to rescue him. He looked at Anna with a lovesick ecstatic look in his eyes.
Ganondorf: FINALLY! SAVE ME DAMN IT!
Ok. I lied.
Anna: *sniffle sniffle*to see the great Ganondorf brought so low by his own evil minions makes me so... emotional. I WILL SAVE YOU GANONDORF!
Koume smiled, "Look kid. If you try anything we brush his hair."
Ganondorf: No... you wouldn't
Koume said deviously, "I would!"
Anna: how dare you! You can't threaten your master like that!
Kotake: We just did. Oh ya you hurt either of this and he gets the perfume too.
Anna: Ganondorf can't you free yourself with your magic.
Ganondorf: I'm chained to the ground with two super powerful witches holding me down with all their force. No, I can't escape on my own.
Koume grinned, "Good use of commas!"
Anna: What?
Koume went scarlet, "uh... nothing!"
Eirian: Hey why do u always have good grammer when u talk? It's weird man.
Koume screamed, "AHHHHHHH MY EARS THEY BURN! DO NOT SPEAK THAT WORD! "IT" IS MY BANE! AND PLEASE DO NOT USE SLANG!"
Eirian: what is that crazy dog talking 'bout. I mean what is wit her?
Ganondorf: She's a grammar teacher! Keep it up!
Eirian: what is it wit dees crazy peeps I mean dem all wrong in di head.
Anna: Ya what up?
Koume: Thank you!! I'm healing!
Foofbunny: Anna! You don't go to chatrooms! You don't know chatspeak! What u ment to say is wat going down dog?
Anna: What's going down.
Foofbunny: Ur hopeless dog. Leve bad gramer to meh. Wat's it Koume? Is baaaaad grammer painfl?
Koume *begins to melt* I'm melting! I'm melting! Nooooooooooo... My grammer is even decaying too. What an end fur me... goodbye Kotake. G2G
Kotake: NO! HOW COULD YOU?! FINE YOU MAY KNOW HER SECRET BUT YOU WON'T TAKE ME!
Anna: She's ice right?
Ganondorf: Ya... what is your point?
Anna: If she got burned too much she'd die right?
Ganondorf: yes... point please?
Anna: Kotake you're an ugly old hag.
Eirian: Ooooh. Buuuurrrn.
Kotake: OOOOWWW! AUGH! MY SKIN CONDITION!
Anna: And your nose is the size of my feet.
Eirian: OOOOOH BURN!
Kotake: OWW!
Ganondorf: *catching on* Point made. You're dress is atrocious your bum is wrinkly your eyeballs are freeky your fingers are like a spiders your charm is nonexistent your eyelashes are stumpy your build is sad you chest could be mistaken for balls ( that's not past expressions right? right?) your brain is twisted your skin looks like a decaying fish and your breath could kill an army.
Foofbunny: Nasty nasty nasty BUUUUURRRNNNN!
Kotake: *erupts in flame* ARRRGHHH!!! And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddeling kids and your stupid Buuurrrrnnn chant!
Eirian: Anna Dooby Doo!
Anna: Wow. from now on I officially don't want to get on your bad side Ganondorf.
Ganondorf: I practiced all through high school. I am the expert on insults. Fear me. Much. NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Eirian: I'd much prefer to leave him here. Unless he says sorry.
Ganondorf: Never.
Anna: Eirian forget it. *Blasts Ganondorf's chains off and gives him her hand to get up*
Ganondorf: *gets up on his own*
Eirian: *lifts an eyebrow*
Anna: Fine. If that's the way you want it. Now back to SSBM headquarters we go. *Sulk*
Ganondorf: What about the deal?
Anna: Oh ya, after we grab Zelda. *flies off to go get Zelda*
Eirian: *sits down*
Ganondorf: *sits down*
Awkward silence
Foofbunny: That was pretty cool what you did back there with the insults
Ganondorf: ya
Awkward silence
Ganondorf: where'd you learn to chatspeak like that?
Eirian: Chatspeak? That's how I always talk
Awkward silence
Foofbunny: I still hate you for calling me a Rabbit.
Ganondorf: I still hate you for mocking me and being a pouce.
Foofbunny: Good! Now that we've got that sorted out now have you seen Pirates Of the Carabbean?
Ganondorf: Oh ya! That was such a good movie! So cool!
Foofbunny: So great! Barbosa was so creepy!
Ganondorf: But the monkey was so cute! Ooh! How about League of Extrordinary Gentlemen? It was so bad!
Together: YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAR RACE IN VENICE!!!
Foofbunny: And that stupid American wouldn't die! Car flips over, he survives. Bomb lands on his head, he survives! What is up with that?!
Ganondorf: Too true!
Suddenly both hear flapping of wings over head. Anna comes in carrying Zelda by the hair to find Ganondorf and Eirian looking in opposite directions with rebellious looks on their faces.
Anna: Lighten up! Can you two at least try to get along?
Ganondorf: With her? Never.
Foofbunny: same for me.
Ganondorf: excuse me I'm not a her.
Anna: *sighs* well you'd better because he's coming with us when we go to the different worlds.
Eirian: WHAT?!!
Anna: Of course. So he can see his other "options" *in her head* and so I can be around him!
Eirian: NOOOOO!!! Not him! Why not Zora Link or even DK?
Anna: Because that wasn't part of their deals.
Ganondorf: and it was part of mine! We could just leave you at the "headquarters" or whatever they're called *looks hopefully at Anna*
Anna: *hesitates I meeaaaannn... states forcefully* Never! I would never dump my best friend even for you!
Ganondorf: I heard that. I may yet manage to get rid of her.
Anna: Enough talk *grabs everyone by the collar and dumps into huge fiery portal*
Ganondorf: NOOOOO!!! I HAVE PORTAL O PHOBIA!! NO PLEASE! ISN'T THERE ANY OTHER WAY?
Anna: Nope!
Back at our dear Headyquarters
Ganondorf: LINK!
Link: GIANT PIG MAN!!!
Ganondorf: THAT'S GANON NOT ME!!! I AM NOT A BLOODY PIG!!! *mauls Link*
Link: AAAAARRRRGHHH!!!!!
Anna: *Rips them apart* Bad cool people. BAD!!! Now don't fight.
Y Link: AUGHHHH!!! GANONDORF YOU WILL DIE!!! *Mauls Ganondorf*
Mikau: DIE PIG MAN I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW!!! *mauls Ganondorf*
Ganondorf: AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! *mauls back*
Mikau: AGH!! HELP ME!
Zelda: *wakes up* What is that... hot fish man?!! I will save him thusly winning his heart! *mauls Ganondorf*
Foofbunny: now your asking for it blond watermelon head! If anyone mauls Ganondorf (I want to be the one to kill him!) or Mikau they will pay the price in blood!!! *jumps in and starts mauling everyone minus Mikau*
DK: MAUL ME MAUL ME! Duh *scratches bum*
Anna: Ok that's it. *everyone starts glowing aqua and are pulled to opposite walls- except Eirian and Mikau*
Eirian: He's mine hiss, hiss!
Ganondorf: Ungh! *fights viciously back with purple magic, sadly I'm and author and he isn't at this comp-*
Anna: AUUUUUGHGGGHHGHGHG!!!!
Eirian: That's the weirdest sound I've ever heard
Ganondorf: *jumps and attacks the keyboard* Haha! Ok right off the bat Foofbunny disintegrates along with that American and all the other Zelda people except Link who is slowly ripped apart limb by limb*
Anna: I guess that means you like me? YAY!
Ganondorf: umm, no I just don't hate you enough to kill you within the first five seconds of my rule. Mind you in the next ten seconds...
Anna: *burns into ashes*
Ganondorf: BWAHAHAHA! *Anna Reincarnates and bashes him over the head with a frying pan* Owww... *passes out*
Anna: None of that just happened every one is still pinned to a wall. *glares at Ganondorf* Bloody villains
Ganondorf (in story): Ungh! *tries to pry away with his own magic, but sadly when I'm writing and he can't touch the keyboard that isn't good enough* Damn you author
Anna: *squishes his ears* Just learn your place
Ganondorf: STOP PLAYING WITH MY EARS! THAT IS VIOLATING MY PERSONAL SPACE! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE MY PERSONAL EARS ALONE!!! *twitches ears madly*
Anna: Fine. *hugs him*
Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!
Mikau: You think she's violating your personal space?
Eirian: *is shnoogling Mikau viciously* My shnoogypoo
Anna: *pries them apart* DON'T DO THAT IN PUBLIC PLEASE!!!
Eirian: Awwwww...
Anna: *turns around and starts marching up and down her character ranks looking suspiciously like a drill sergeant I saw in a movie last night* Ok troops. I know you hate each other but right now I don't give a crap. You stop acting up now or I'll have to delete you. I'm serious. I can break your games and you will cease to exist.
Eirian: AAHHH! MY PIXLES ARE IN DANGER!!
Anna: Shut up.You guys stop fighting now. I mean it. Or do I have to put you individual containment centers?
Y Link: English please.
Anna: Do I have to give you a time out in a corner?
Y Link: NOT THE CORNER!!
Anna: yes the corner.
Link: I can be reasonable on these conditions:
Anna: *Hands him conditioner*
Link: That's not what I meant. Get Pigman-
Anna: *pretends not to know who he's referring to* who?
Ganondorf: Yay Anna! No wait... uhh... you didn't just hear me be positive... I hate you all... and I am not a pig.
Foofbunny: Oh yes you are! I saw you stuff down that pudding when we first got to the temple!
Anna: Oh you mean Ganondorf! I see...
Link: out of my face.
Anna: I'm taking him with us when we go out.
Ganondorf: I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU
Anna: *muttering* yet *cough cough* I mean when we are going on our adventures!!! Umm... ya...
Link: fine. I can deal with that.
Zelda: *squirm squirm* I'LL GET YOU INTOLERANT UGLY PIGHEADED FUNBOOBIES
Anna: Ok she's definitely lost it. We can't let her near anyone sane *looks at Eirian then thinks about it for a second* Or even half insane. *Locks Zelda in her previous cell*
Zelda: *turns into sheik and starts bashing the door* AAARRRGHH! I'LL GET YOU YOU BUMBUMED SCALLIWOOGIES!
Anna: Ganondorf hold the door!
Ganondorf: Don't have to tell me twice. *Pushes with all his might... which is an awful lot*
Door: *breaks open and lands on Zelda's head ^__^ yay!*
Zelda: *passes out... for the third time... so far*
Anna: Ok... so how do you contain a crazy ravenous blond who has no brain just hormones?
Link: Occupy her with an attractive male,
All: *Looks at Link*
Link: *starts to sweat* but not me because... I need to fight in the game right?
All: *turn and look at Mikau*
Mikau: What's everyone staring at? Do I have something on my face?
Foofbunny: No your face is perfect... the perfect reason not to get it bashed up with fighting!
Mikau: Please don't make me go in there!!!
Ganondorf: Ya, that's just not fair. I know I'm sticking up for some twisted version of Link, but this is Zelda we're talking about here. I mean half the internet is pictures of her sucking the tongue off some guy. That's just too cruel.
Mikau: THE MAN'S GOT A POINT! *whispering* I'll give you the money later.
Foofbunny: Fine then you can go in there Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: Hey Mikau what are you doing out here, you're supposed to be with Zelda! *pushes Mikau in cage*
Mikau: NO PLEASE MERCY!!!
Anna: because everyone would more than likely flame me if I was this unfair I'll give you mercy.
Mikau: Merci!
Anna: *long tendrils of aqua wrap around Mikau forming a layer of untouchable electricity*
Mikau: Thanks... but what does it do?
Anna: Anyone tries to touch you but yourself and they get zapped with 50 volts of electricity. That should take care of any girl problems you will ever have
Mikau: what if I want to touch someone later after I get out?
Anna: Euhm... They'll... probably still get zapped with 50 volts of electricity?
Foofbunny: Anna you are going down. *mauls Anna* Maul maul
Darth Maul: You called? *spontaneously combusts like everything else I don't need*
Anna: *puts sword to Eirian's throat*
Foofbunny: AAARRRGHH! IT IS POINTY!! KEEP IT AWAY!!! (Eirian has a fear of knives and anything sharp and pointylike. She's Ok with wielding them but is traumatized by the thought of a knifed chainsaw killer coming and slitting her throat.)
Foofbunny: *Attack the keyboard* BLOODY TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE SO SCARY!!!!!!!! *gets hit in the shoulder with a fake sword and keels over dead (and this did just happen, ooooo that's gonna hurt in the mourning)* AAAAAHHHHH THE PAIN IT BURNS!!!!!
Anna: Sorry Foofs. I didn't mean it. Anyways-
Foofbunny: THE PAIN!!
Ganondorf: *Steps on her* shut up!
Anna: Anyways to sum it all up Mikau is put into the cell with an electric coating,
Zelda: Oooooohh! 0__0 pretty! *poke* ZAP!! OWWW!! Pretty 0__0 *poke* ZAP!! *poke* ZAP!! *fries and dies (KOed)*
Anna: The others said they would stop acting up if I got Ganondorf out of there. After a little bit of fighting we (or I) decided where we would be going next. Guess you'll have to read the next chappy to find out now won't you?
_
Anna: Ok. So I'm going to be reaaaaallly daring IF you can grant me this: Review. I won't do this horribly daring act if at least two new people don't review (ooh I'm so picky) so tell your friends... ehehehe but I would be just being an ass if I didn't do anything soo:
Anna: Will Kiss... GANONDORF if at least two new people review. Seriously I will.
Ganondorf: *tied to floor* *wiggle wiggle* Not this again. Anna, don't you dare kiss me. Please don't kiss me, I'll pay you in sugar. Don't kiss me or I'll impale your head. I, I'm already having an affair with Eirian!
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!! *turns completely green* NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!! NOT TRUE! BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD THOUGHTS NONONONONONONONONO!!!! *steps on Ganondorf's mouth making it so he can't breath* SAY IT'S NOT TRUE! SAY IT'S NOT TRUE!
Ganondorf: *mumfle mumfle* Snottruesnottrue!
Foofbunny: *kicks down then lifts foot away*
Ganondorf: *gasp gasp* AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!! OWOWOWOWOWOW! *gasp gasp* That's really going to hurt in the morning.
Or if no one new reviews I'll kiss Strongbad some guy you probably don't
know. He comes from homestarrunner.com . Check it out when you have the
time! There's no swearing, not gory, just hilarious!
Strongbad: WHAT DA CRAP?!!
Anna: So this is the end of the longest thing I've ever written in my whole life... wow. Ok! Next chap shouldn't be quite as long. Toodles! REVIEW!!
This is the longest anything I have ever written. SORRY!! Please don't get bored... pleeeeaaaaseeee. Oh ya and I am fully aware that the beginning of this chapter may piss some people off, sorry 'bout that.
Ganondorf sat in the realm of evil drinking tea. His fingers flew over a
keyboard as he typed a message to one of his main captains.
Ganondorf: *muttering* I may have been stopped from personally taking over the world but they can't stop me from getting someone else to conquer it for me! *presses send*
His laptop: Your plans to take over the Iraq and whatever else is near by have been sent to Burninghotbush@hotmail.com
Suddenly a message popped up on the top part of the screen:
"Link has left Hyrule for reasons unknown"
Ganondorf: WHAT?! Link... left... Hyrule... now after 50 billion times of rebuilding my castle and returning to power just to have it all blow up in my face over and over exactly the same way, because of him... He's gone. *looks around for exit* *walks through door with flashing exit sign over top and no lock* ya know if they really wanted to keep me in here they really should have tried a little harder with security.
Ganondorf took one step out the door and yelped as he dropped downwards through the clouds towards Hyrule.
IN SSBM HEADQUARTERS
Zelda: *turns into sheik and smashes her cell door down* FEEL MY WRATH FOOLISH IMBECILES!
Lizard Breath (now referred to as LB): Watch out the crazy blonde's loose!
Foofbunny: You or Zelda?
LB: *glares at Foofbunny* Zelda you horrible wretch
Anna: *Once again locks in deadly battle with Zelda* Eirian? A little help here please!
Eirian: *hucks Link mask at Zelda hitting her on the head with such force it breaks in two and she's KOd*
Anna: Nice! Very Nice! Now remind me why we're keeping her around in the first place?
Foofbunny: *shrugs* Keeping crazy people captive is my hobby.
Anna: No wonder you have me over so much. Hobby or not I want to get rid of her. Back to Hyrule we go! *pushes Zelda & Foofbunny into fiery portal leading to Hyrule*
Eirian: *Whining* Nooo! Crazy people amuse me!
Last thing Eirian sees is Mikau and LB waving goodbye
Eirian: YOU'D BETTER NOT TOUCH HIM!!!
Zelda, Eirian and Anna land in Hyrule. Anna picks up Zelda and tosses her
into a near by bush.
Anna: Ok that done let's-
Ganondorf: AHHHHH! *lands on Anna* *WHAM*
Anna: Ahhh! My spleen!
Foofbunny: So you must be that elf guy I've heard so much about.
Ganondorf: *gets up and dusts himself off* Perhaps, though I don't know from whom you might obtain any information about me. I am the Great Ganondorf. Fear ME!
Foofbunny: And I'm the Easter bunny! *jumps around saying "I'm the Easter bunny" in creepy voice*
Ganondorf: MOCK ME NOT!
Anna: *Get's up and rubs her back* Since we're in Hyrule and from his weight I'm guessing that's Ganondor- *looks up at Ganondorf* *freezes in mid sentance* Gawk...
Ganondorf stood there running his claw like fingernails through his long red hair. His big elf ears waved in the wind (In the background Eirian is
throwing eggs everywhere) his one black earring shining. His amber eyes glistened, over his left eye there ran a long red slash, making him squint
a little on that side.
Eirian: You've changed since we last played the game.
Anna: *drool drool, stare stare*
Ganondorf: I've always had elf ears just Link kept hacking them off. Ears and Hair grow back. Not that I have any good reason to tell you this. Thanks for breaking my fall, and goodbye. I must get back to taking over Hyrule.
Anna: *snaps back to reality* NO WAIT!
Ganondorf: *turns* What?
Anna: What do you really want?
Ganondorf: I really want you to leave me the hell alone. *thinks about it for a second* and to get a fair chance to beat up Zelda and Link without those annoying sages in the way. Stupid sages. Always ruining my fun! They just need to get close to me and the game cuts into a cut scene I can't control and I get tossed into some stupid white realm with an annoying exit sign that blinks every five seconds so I can't bloody well sleep and all there is to do is eat crumpets, drink tea and email my every plan to the worlds superpowers (aw man my grammer teacher would hate that sentence so much she'd probably blow up... that gives me an idea... Hey lucy! Lucy appears: *looks at sentence and spontainiously combusts* Anna: Bwahahaha. I have so much power) !!! ARGH I HATE THOSE BLOODY SAGES!!!! *calms down* But you couldn't possibly do that so I would really appreciate it if you granted my first wish. *smiles rudely* *walks away*
Eirian: *muttering* talk about bad temper.
Anna: *flies over and lands in front of Ganondorf* What if we could?
Ganondorf: *stare* What?
Anna: And Hyrule is a pretty dumpy little place with way to many heroes popping up everywhere don't you think? How would you like to get a chance to look at your other options?
Ganondorf: *stare* Who are you?
Anna: My name is Anna and the bunny is Eirian or Foofbunny. We are on a mission to recruit characters for an all new fighting game. So far we've got DK, Young Link, Link, Zora Link, and Zelda.
Eirian: NO! Mikau can't fight! He's to wholesome and nice and handsome... He might bruise his face. Mikau fight not.
Ganondorf: *Stare* No sages? No random cut scenes?
Anna: None whatsoever.
Ganondorf: *looks at her suspiciously* what's in it for you?
Anna: We want you to participate as one of the characters in our game. I leave the other characters in our headquarters and you can come with us as we go to different worlds. That's it. We just have to ask you to wait with beating up Link and Zelda until the games really begin. So... Deal?
Ganondorf: ... this sounds to good to be true...
Eirian: But it is true!
Ganondorf: Fine. I'll go with you. But if this is some sort of trick... you're bunny friend gets it.
Eirian: WHAT?!! WHY ME?
Ganondorf: A: you aren't the author B: you don't have magic C: You mocked me and I don't like you rabbit girl.
Eirian: YOU REDHEADED CREEP! YOU'LL GET IT FOR THAT! *jumps towards Ganondorf*
Ganondorf is about to blast her when Twinrova (a pair of really old and
ugly twin witches one ice one fire) come down and scoop Ganondorf into their arms. Then they fly off towards the spirit temple off in the desert.
Kotake (the ice witch): Oh Ganondorf you're so cool! *strokes his hair *
Koume (fire) swooned "I always wanted to tell you that I think you're really hot! Gives him a kiss on the cheek.
Ganondorf: ARRRRRRRGH! IT'S TWINROVA!! HELP!!! NO!! *slaps Kotake's hand and tries to claw away* BAD! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T LIKE YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST CALLED YOU BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES ONCE TO RECRUIT YOU FOR MY AWESOME ARMY OF DOOM! I THINK YOUR UGLY OLD HAGS! DON'T TOUCH ME! Arrrrrghhhhhhhh!!! Save me Anna and rabbit girl... *disappears into distance*
Eirian: *pant pant* GOOD RIDDANCE YOU SNIVILING RED HAIRED BLOB!!! *fill eyes as she falls to the eyes* I'm a bunnnnnyyyyy...
Anna: NO NOT GOOD!! WE JUST LOST A CHARACTER FOR OUR GAME, SPECIFICALLY A CHARACTER I REALLY LIKED!!! After them!!
Anna charged through Termina field dragging a protesting Eirian behind her. They arrived at a ranch (Lon Lon Ranch for those who know it), ran in, paid
their due respects to mister Ingo (so cool)
Anna: *runs up to Mister Ingo* HI YOU SO COOL! SOME GOOD ADVICE SHAVE YOUR
NECK! GOODBYE!
Mister Ingo:... Wha?
Eirian: Real cool man keep it up and please shave your neck bye!
Mister Ingo: Shave my... *Looks in a mirror and realizes that his whole
throat is covered in huge bushels of hair* oh... I thought it was a
beard...
By this time Anna and Eirian had already highjack the horse corral and
jumped some impossibly high fences with Epona (Link's stolen horse... kinda). They rode towards the desert at full speed Anna with a determined look on her face and Eirian with a look no one could see because her face was covered in mud from being dragged. Finally they arrived at the Gerudo valley (which you must get through to get to the desert). Epona jumped a huge chasm but was abruptly stopped by a Gerudo guard (quick briefing on the Gerudos: the Gerudos are a band of thieves that leave in the desert. They are all females (don't ask) and only one male Gerudo is born every 100
years. Ganondorf is this centuries' male Gerudo.)
Gerudo: HALT! I cannot let you pass.
Anna: Do you mind? We're on a mission to save YOU'RE 100 year special.
Gerudo: Oh, we don't like him anymore. We've moved on.
Anna: You've... moved... on...?
Gerudo : Yup! We don't think Ganondorf is hip anymore.
Eirian: Join the club sister, Join the club. So who do you like. *Scratches viciously as mud covering her face* ungh..
Gerudo: Orlando Bloom. *eyes go white and starts advancing on Anna, arms outstretched like a monster* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: *Smacks Epona's rear and Epona tramples Gerudo* Creepy Orlando Bloom cultists, they're everywhere.
Eirian: *from behind* *muttering* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: We'd better go along the rest of the way on foot as not to attract attention.
Eirian: Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna dismounted along with Eirian. She rummaged through the saddle bags making sure there wasn't anything useful. She found several bullets, some herbs, and a shoehorn.
Anna: Sheesh... what a weird guy... guns weren't even invented yet, he doesn't know how to use herbs and what is he gonna do with a shoe horn. *shrugs* oh well... *uses the shoe horn pry the dried mud off Eirian's face* Oh my gosh...
Eirian: *eyes white* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...
Anna: *Stuffs herbs in her mouth thusly curing her*
Eirian: phew... thanks, Now let's go.
Anna: *looks around* Ahaha! That's the way to the desert!
Eirian: Then why aren't we sneaking inconspicuously towards it?
Anna: We would but there just so happens to be a Gerudo with a rather ominous looking saber thing standing right in front of a gigantic gate. No we can't jump it with Epona. I can tell from your look that's just what you were about to ask.
Eirian: *closes mouth*
Anna: I know! I shall create a disturbance and while the Gerudo is chasing me you open the gigantic doors!
Eirian: What are you going to-
Anna: *blows on shoehorn (get it? Shoehorn?)* TOWHOOOT!
Gerudo with omnious looking saber thing : Huh? What? Intruders?!! ATTACK!!
Anna: Ha! Now open the doors while she chases me! *turns around* oh! Poo.
Facing her are the rest of the patrolling Gerudos, that being maybe... 200.
Anna: ah. *licks lips* Ooh my.
Eirian: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Anna: Umm... Haha! *whips out a Tails hand puppet (tails from Sonic... ya know, the fox guy)* Orlando Bloom must be over there! *doesn't make any gesture of the where abouts*
200 Gerudos: *simotainiously* WHERE?? *look around*
Leader Gerudo: OK EVERYONE! SPLIT UP! WE MUST FIND THE GREAT BLOOM!
200 Gerudos: *split up and ignore Anna and Foofbunny*
Foofbunny: where where?
Anna: eheheh. *walks over to gate and pushes it open* TO THE DESERT!!!
So Anna and Foofbunny continue their search for Ganondorf and finally after following some invisible poe without the lens of truth and continuously falling into sandpits (very smelly) Anna whacked the poe over the head and flew (with Eirian) to the Spirit Temple. Dunununun...
OUTSIDE THE SPIRIT TEMPLE
Eirian: Ooh! Looksies looksies! It's a big funny looking rock!
Anna: That's a building Eirian.
Eirian: Ahhh... I see...
Anna: We must save Ganondorf!!! ENTER THE SPIRIT TEMPLE!
Foofbunny: *walks forwards and trips over a moving spiky cactus thing* You've got to be kidding. This is what almost killed you when you were playing this game. *picks up tiny cactus* Now that's sad.
Anna: MOVING ON!
And they did. IN SPIRIT TEMPLE
Anna: *looks around. Room contains nothing but a couple of pots and a big blue block which has "push me" spray painted on it* hmm... a big block. Too lazy to push. *blasts big block into oblivion* I am so powerful.
Eirian: ARGH!!! *is pelted with flying pots* BEGON YOU HORRID POSSESSED POTS! OW! STOP IT! OW! ANNA HELP ME!
Anna: Do not anger the flying pots. Speak calmly to them. Like so. *in gentle tone* stop hurting the bunny my little hollow clay dears. Don't do that it's not ni- *pot breaks in face* Either that or you can blast the crap out of them. Like so. *Blasts pots into crap* I am so powerful.
Eirian: Ewww... dung *walks into next room* AGH!!! *whirls and runs back to nice safe poo*
In the center of the room is a great big statue with a turning head with just one eye on it. It Shoots Lasers.
Statue: *blink blink* ZZZZZZZZZT! *lasers foofbunny's hair so it comes to just below her neck (how her haircut REALLY happened!)*
Eirian's hair: Fizzle fizzle
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! YOU STUPID LITTLE STATUE!!! *Picks up handful of sand and hucks it at statue's eye*
Statue: *head falls off and both body and head blow up in a huge explosion*
Foofbunny: ... *puffs out chest* Haha!
Anna: Explosions unexpected but always enjoyed.
Foofbunny: *starts to float away because so filled with hot air* MPH!
Anna: Oh no! Eirian! *plan forms* any one can throw sand Eirian.
Foofbunny: *deflate* *lands* phew. Was almost proud of myself there. Close one.
Anna: Ok I'm to lazy to do this whole temple. Soo... *Blasts wall next to her with magic* I am so powerful.
Foofbunny: Will you stop saying that.
Anna: But I am.
Both walk into next room. They are standing in a huge hallway with a long red carpet. At the end of it, in a huge chair there's a HUGE Iron Knuckle (not litteraly and iron knuckle. An Iron knuckle in Zelda is a great big metal killing machine thing that has a bloody great ax. And I mean a bloody great ax) Beside it there's a sign.
Anna: *walks up to sign* Hey Eirian! Look, it's a sign written in blood. It says: Wake me and I shall crush you insignificant bones into dust and make a carpet out of your skin. Your eyeballs will make some delicious rice pudding.
While Anna is staring at sign Foofbunny goes up to Iron Knuckle and examines it.
Anna: So obviously we can't wake this masked giant monster or we die. *looks up*
Eirian is poking it.
Eirian: *Poke poke*
Anna: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Iron Knuckle: RAWRG!! *lifts up huge ax and chops down on Eirian*
Eirian: *dives back and spreads legs*
Ax: *sticks into floor just between Foofbunny's limbs*
Eirian: *takes her chance and punches Iron knuckle* *large bruise spreads across hand* OWWWWWW!!!!
Iron Knuckle: *manages to take ax out of ground and brings it up over it's head* *ax falls down towards Eirian's skull with tremendous speed* *suddenly stops*
The Iron Knuckle turned into a smoking mound of ash with a few charred bones in the middle of it. The ax melted and oozed into the dirt.
Anna: *blows on finger* I am so powerful.
Foofbunny: Hey, wasn't Naboru that weird sage lady supposed to be inside that armor because she was brainwashed into attacking us?
Anna: *Goes green* explains the bones... oopsies? *blasts wall next to them* Walks into gynormous room with tons of switches and a giant rock statue in front of her.
Eirian: *walks around trying to figure out the puzzle* *presses several switches* There. This mind bending puzzle is complete due to my superior intellect. *presses final switch*
Meanwhile Anna had blasted open the statue's face 'cause she thought it was ugly (oh how deep) and was standing in front of the boss door.
Anna: NO! Don't!!! *hundreds of rocks dump on her* ARGH!!! MY SQUIGGLY SQOOCH!
Foofbunny: That wasn't supposed to happen. *presses switch again*
*hundreds of rocks dump off Anna*
Eirian: You're alive?
Anna: Alive and full of goo. MISSION GOO! (Thusly I quote Invader Zim. That show is so damn funny) owwww... Ok so let's go find Twinrova! *turns and tries to pull open door*
The door is kept closed by a great big gold chain fastened to the wall at four corners and in the middle by a huge gold dragon head lock.
Anna: *Pulls harder and harder* UNGH!!! It's too strong!
Eirian: *Walks up and pushes door open*
Anna: Ah.
Anna and Eirian wiggle their way into the boss room. In front of them oh the horrors of horrors were Twinrova crooning over Ganondorf. Ganondorf was chained to the floor doing his very best to try to wriggle away but under the combined magics of both witches, no way could he get away. Waiting for his kanigit (knight) in shining armor to rescue him. He looked at Anna with a lovesick ecstatic look in his eyes.
Ganondorf: FINALLY! SAVE ME DAMN IT!
Ok. I lied.
Anna: *sniffle sniffle*to see the great Ganondorf brought so low by his own evil minions makes me so... emotional. I WILL SAVE YOU GANONDORF!
Koume smiled, "Look kid. If you try anything we brush his hair."
Ganondorf: No... you wouldn't
Koume said deviously, "I would!"
Anna: how dare you! You can't threaten your master like that!
Kotake: We just did. Oh ya you hurt either of this and he gets the perfume too.
Anna: Ganondorf can't you free yourself with your magic.
Ganondorf: I'm chained to the ground with two super powerful witches holding me down with all their force. No, I can't escape on my own.
Koume grinned, "Good use of commas!"
Anna: What?
Koume went scarlet, "uh... nothing!"
Eirian: Hey why do u always have good grammer when u talk? It's weird man.
Koume screamed, "AHHHHHHH MY EARS THEY BURN! DO NOT SPEAK THAT WORD! "IT" IS MY BANE! AND PLEASE DO NOT USE SLANG!"
Eirian: what is that crazy dog talking 'bout. I mean what is wit her?
Ganondorf: She's a grammar teacher! Keep it up!
Eirian: what is it wit dees crazy peeps I mean dem all wrong in di head.
Anna: Ya what up?
Koume: Thank you!! I'm healing!
Foofbunny: Anna! You don't go to chatrooms! You don't know chatspeak! What u ment to say is wat going down dog?
Anna: What's going down.
Foofbunny: Ur hopeless dog. Leve bad gramer to meh. Wat's it Koume? Is baaaaad grammer painfl?
Koume *begins to melt* I'm melting! I'm melting! Nooooooooooo... My grammer is even decaying too. What an end fur me... goodbye Kotake. G2G
Kotake: NO! HOW COULD YOU?! FINE YOU MAY KNOW HER SECRET BUT YOU WON'T TAKE ME!
Anna: She's ice right?
Ganondorf: Ya... what is your point?
Anna: If she got burned too much she'd die right?
Ganondorf: yes... point please?
Anna: Kotake you're an ugly old hag.
Eirian: Ooooh. Buuuurrrn.
Kotake: OOOOWWW! AUGH! MY SKIN CONDITION!
Anna: And your nose is the size of my feet.
Eirian: OOOOOH BURN!
Kotake: OWW!
Ganondorf: *catching on* Point made. You're dress is atrocious your bum is wrinkly your eyeballs are freeky your fingers are like a spiders your charm is nonexistent your eyelashes are stumpy your build is sad you chest could be mistaken for balls ( that's not past expressions right? right?) your brain is twisted your skin looks like a decaying fish and your breath could kill an army.
Foofbunny: Nasty nasty nasty BUUUUURRRNNNN!
Kotake: *erupts in flame* ARRRGHHH!!! And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddeling kids and your stupid Buuurrrrnnn chant!
Eirian: Anna Dooby Doo!
Anna: Wow. from now on I officially don't want to get on your bad side Ganondorf.
Ganondorf: I practiced all through high school. I am the expert on insults. Fear me. Much. NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Eirian: I'd much prefer to leave him here. Unless he says sorry.
Ganondorf: Never.
Anna: Eirian forget it. *Blasts Ganondorf's chains off and gives him her hand to get up*
Ganondorf: *gets up on his own*
Eirian: *lifts an eyebrow*
Anna: Fine. If that's the way you want it. Now back to SSBM headquarters we go. *Sulk*
Ganondorf: What about the deal?
Anna: Oh ya, after we grab Zelda. *flies off to go get Zelda*
Eirian: *sits down*
Ganondorf: *sits down*
Awkward silence
Foofbunny: That was pretty cool what you did back there with the insults
Ganondorf: ya
Awkward silence
Ganondorf: where'd you learn to chatspeak like that?
Eirian: Chatspeak? That's how I always talk
Awkward silence
Foofbunny: I still hate you for calling me a Rabbit.
Ganondorf: I still hate you for mocking me and being a pouce.
Foofbunny: Good! Now that we've got that sorted out now have you seen Pirates Of the Carabbean?
Ganondorf: Oh ya! That was such a good movie! So cool!
Foofbunny: So great! Barbosa was so creepy!
Ganondorf: But the monkey was so cute! Ooh! How about League of Extrordinary Gentlemen? It was so bad!
Together: YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAR RACE IN VENICE!!!
Foofbunny: And that stupid American wouldn't die! Car flips over, he survives. Bomb lands on his head, he survives! What is up with that?!
Ganondorf: Too true!
Suddenly both hear flapping of wings over head. Anna comes in carrying Zelda by the hair to find Ganondorf and Eirian looking in opposite directions with rebellious looks on their faces.
Anna: Lighten up! Can you two at least try to get along?
Ganondorf: With her? Never.
Foofbunny: same for me.
Ganondorf: excuse me I'm not a her.
Anna: *sighs* well you'd better because he's coming with us when we go to the different worlds.
Eirian: WHAT?!!
Anna: Of course. So he can see his other "options" *in her head* and so I can be around him!
Eirian: NOOOOO!!! Not him! Why not Zora Link or even DK?
Anna: Because that wasn't part of their deals.
Ganondorf: and it was part of mine! We could just leave you at the "headquarters" or whatever they're called *looks hopefully at Anna*
Anna: *hesitates I meeaaaannn... states forcefully* Never! I would never dump my best friend even for you!
Ganondorf: I heard that. I may yet manage to get rid of her.
Anna: Enough talk *grabs everyone by the collar and dumps into huge fiery portal*
Ganondorf: NOOOOO!!! I HAVE PORTAL O PHOBIA!! NO PLEASE! ISN'T THERE ANY OTHER WAY?
Anna: Nope!
Back at our dear Headyquarters
Ganondorf: LINK!
Link: GIANT PIG MAN!!!
Ganondorf: THAT'S GANON NOT ME!!! I AM NOT A BLOODY PIG!!! *mauls Link*
Link: AAAAARRRRGHHH!!!!!
Anna: *Rips them apart* Bad cool people. BAD!!! Now don't fight.
Y Link: AUGHHHH!!! GANONDORF YOU WILL DIE!!! *Mauls Ganondorf*
Mikau: DIE PIG MAN I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW!!! *mauls Ganondorf*
Ganondorf: AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! *mauls back*
Mikau: AGH!! HELP ME!
Zelda: *wakes up* What is that... hot fish man?!! I will save him thusly winning his heart! *mauls Ganondorf*
Foofbunny: now your asking for it blond watermelon head! If anyone mauls Ganondorf (I want to be the one to kill him!) or Mikau they will pay the price in blood!!! *jumps in and starts mauling everyone minus Mikau*
DK: MAUL ME MAUL ME! Duh *scratches bum*
Anna: Ok that's it. *everyone starts glowing aqua and are pulled to opposite walls- except Eirian and Mikau*
Eirian: He's mine hiss, hiss!
Ganondorf: Ungh! *fights viciously back with purple magic, sadly I'm and author and he isn't at this comp-*
Anna: AUUUUUGHGGGHHGHGHG!!!!
Eirian: That's the weirdest sound I've ever heard
Ganondorf: *jumps and attacks the keyboard* Haha! Ok right off the bat Foofbunny disintegrates along with that American and all the other Zelda people except Link who is slowly ripped apart limb by limb*
Anna: I guess that means you like me? YAY!
Ganondorf: umm, no I just don't hate you enough to kill you within the first five seconds of my rule. Mind you in the next ten seconds...
Anna: *burns into ashes*
Ganondorf: BWAHAHAHA! *Anna Reincarnates and bashes him over the head with a frying pan* Owww... *passes out*
Anna: None of that just happened every one is still pinned to a wall. *glares at Ganondorf* Bloody villains
Ganondorf (in story): Ungh! *tries to pry away with his own magic, but sadly when I'm writing and he can't touch the keyboard that isn't good enough* Damn you author
Anna: *squishes his ears* Just learn your place
Ganondorf: STOP PLAYING WITH MY EARS! THAT IS VIOLATING MY PERSONAL SPACE! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE MY PERSONAL EARS ALONE!!! *twitches ears madly*
Anna: Fine. *hugs him*
Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!
Mikau: You think she's violating your personal space?
Eirian: *is shnoogling Mikau viciously* My shnoogypoo
Anna: *pries them apart* DON'T DO THAT IN PUBLIC PLEASE!!!
Eirian: Awwwww...
Anna: *turns around and starts marching up and down her character ranks looking suspiciously like a drill sergeant I saw in a movie last night* Ok troops. I know you hate each other but right now I don't give a crap. You stop acting up now or I'll have to delete you. I'm serious. I can break your games and you will cease to exist.
Eirian: AAHHH! MY PIXLES ARE IN DANGER!!
Anna: Shut up.You guys stop fighting now. I mean it. Or do I have to put you individual containment centers?
Y Link: English please.
Anna: Do I have to give you a time out in a corner?
Y Link: NOT THE CORNER!!
Anna: yes the corner.
Link: I can be reasonable on these conditions:
Anna: *Hands him conditioner*
Link: That's not what I meant. Get Pigman-
Anna: *pretends not to know who he's referring to* who?
Ganondorf: Yay Anna! No wait... uhh... you didn't just hear me be positive... I hate you all... and I am not a pig.
Foofbunny: Oh yes you are! I saw you stuff down that pudding when we first got to the temple!
Anna: Oh you mean Ganondorf! I see...
Link: out of my face.
Anna: I'm taking him with us when we go out.
Ganondorf: I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU
Anna: *muttering* yet *cough cough* I mean when we are going on our adventures!!! Umm... ya...
Link: fine. I can deal with that.
Zelda: *squirm squirm* I'LL GET YOU INTOLERANT UGLY PIGHEADED FUNBOOBIES
Anna: Ok she's definitely lost it. We can't let her near anyone sane *looks at Eirian then thinks about it for a second* Or even half insane. *Locks Zelda in her previous cell*
Zelda: *turns into sheik and starts bashing the door* AAARRRGHH! I'LL GET YOU YOU BUMBUMED SCALLIWOOGIES!
Anna: Ganondorf hold the door!
Ganondorf: Don't have to tell me twice. *Pushes with all his might... which is an awful lot*
Door: *breaks open and lands on Zelda's head ^__^ yay!*
Zelda: *passes out... for the third time... so far*
Anna: Ok... so how do you contain a crazy ravenous blond who has no brain just hormones?
Link: Occupy her with an attractive male,
All: *Looks at Link*
Link: *starts to sweat* but not me because... I need to fight in the game right?
All: *turn and look at Mikau*
Mikau: What's everyone staring at? Do I have something on my face?
Foofbunny: No your face is perfect... the perfect reason not to get it bashed up with fighting!
Mikau: Please don't make me go in there!!!
Ganondorf: Ya, that's just not fair. I know I'm sticking up for some twisted version of Link, but this is Zelda we're talking about here. I mean half the internet is pictures of her sucking the tongue off some guy. That's just too cruel.
Mikau: THE MAN'S GOT A POINT! *whispering* I'll give you the money later.
Foofbunny: Fine then you can go in there Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: Hey Mikau what are you doing out here, you're supposed to be with Zelda! *pushes Mikau in cage*
Mikau: NO PLEASE MERCY!!!
Anna: because everyone would more than likely flame me if I was this unfair I'll give you mercy.
Mikau: Merci!
Anna: *long tendrils of aqua wrap around Mikau forming a layer of untouchable electricity*
Mikau: Thanks... but what does it do?
Anna: Anyone tries to touch you but yourself and they get zapped with 50 volts of electricity. That should take care of any girl problems you will ever have
Mikau: what if I want to touch someone later after I get out?
Anna: Euhm... They'll... probably still get zapped with 50 volts of electricity?
Foofbunny: Anna you are going down. *mauls Anna* Maul maul
Darth Maul: You called? *spontaneously combusts like everything else I don't need*
Anna: *puts sword to Eirian's throat*
Foofbunny: AAARRRGHH! IT IS POINTY!! KEEP IT AWAY!!! (Eirian has a fear of knives and anything sharp and pointylike. She's Ok with wielding them but is traumatized by the thought of a knifed chainsaw killer coming and slitting her throat.)
Foofbunny: *Attack the keyboard* BLOODY TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE SO SCARY!!!!!!!! *gets hit in the shoulder with a fake sword and keels over dead (and this did just happen, ooooo that's gonna hurt in the mourning)* AAAAAHHHHH THE PAIN IT BURNS!!!!!
Anna: Sorry Foofs. I didn't mean it. Anyways-
Foofbunny: THE PAIN!!
Ganondorf: *Steps on her* shut up!
Anna: Anyways to sum it all up Mikau is put into the cell with an electric coating,
Zelda: Oooooohh! 0__0 pretty! *poke* ZAP!! OWWW!! Pretty 0__0 *poke* ZAP!! *poke* ZAP!! *fries and dies (KOed)*
Anna: The others said they would stop acting up if I got Ganondorf out of there. After a little bit of fighting we (or I) decided where we would be going next. Guess you'll have to read the next chappy to find out now won't you?
_
Anna: Ok. So I'm going to be reaaaaallly daring IF you can grant me this: Review. I won't do this horribly daring act if at least two new people don't review (ooh I'm so picky) so tell your friends... ehehehe but I would be just being an ass if I didn't do anything soo:
Anna: Will Kiss... GANONDORF if at least two new people review. Seriously I will.
Ganondorf: *tied to floor* *wiggle wiggle* Not this again. Anna, don't you dare kiss me. Please don't kiss me, I'll pay you in sugar. Don't kiss me or I'll impale your head. I, I'm already having an affair with Eirian!
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!! *turns completely green* NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!! NOT TRUE! BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD THOUGHTS NONONONONONONONONO!!!! *steps on Ganondorf's mouth making it so he can't breath* SAY IT'S NOT TRUE! SAY IT'S NOT TRUE!
Ganondorf: *mumfle mumfle* Snottruesnottrue!
Foofbunny: *kicks down then lifts foot away*
Ganondorf: *gasp gasp* AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!! OWOWOWOWOWOW! *gasp gasp* That's really going to hurt in the morning.
Or if no one new reviews I'll kiss Strongbad some guy you probably don't
know. He comes from homestarrunner.com . Check it out when you have the
time! There's no swearing, not gory, just hilarious!
Strongbad: WHAT DA CRAP?!!
Anna: So this is the end of the longest thing I've ever written in my whole life... wow. Ok! Next chap shouldn't be quite as long. Toodles! REVIEW!!