Chapter 7: Another Secret Is Revealed
Rachel sat back in her chair and blew out a contented "Phew!" Partly this signified extreme satisfaction with the helping of delicious Coq au Vin that she had just eaten, partly her relief that it was Friday night, after a pretty gruelling week, and the weekend stretched ahead.
Monica raised her eyes from her plate and smiled at her. "Looking forward to the weekend?"
"You said it!" Rachel replied. "What a week!"
"Yeah, it's been tough," said Monica. "But not as tough as for Janice – or Emily."
Rachel's face showed pain and sympathy. "Yeah," she said softly.
It was proving very difficult to reconcile Janice to a future without Emily. It would have been tactless to offer the hope that someone else would come along. Having decided that she was in love with Emily, she did not want someone else. As Janice herself said, stopping seeing Emily was far worse than the final breakup with Chandler, not only because she had no husband to fall back on, but because she had no intimate memories to cherish. "I didn't even get to kiss her," she would wail. She could not even console herself with phone calls, since hearing Emily's voice sooner or later made her break down, which was very distressing for both of them.
Night after night Monica and Rachel had gone round, though they had not stayed over after the first night, and offered the only support they could by just letting her talk to them. The one thing that stopped Janice from sitting around and crying all day, she admitted, was the need to look after Maggie, though that brought its own problems. Maggie was too young to understand why auntie Emily could not come round to make mommy happy again, and did not like being told as much. In the end it had to be blamed on Ross: they told her that he was auntie Emily's husband and he did not want her to see mommy, which was true enough, if a bit unfair. Maggie said she was very angry with uncle Ross, but luckily she did not encounter him to tell him so.
"You know what I think?" said Monica, breaking the silence that had developed. "I think Emily's realising, she has feelings for Janice too."
Rachel nodded. It had been heartrending to see Emily forever seeming to be looking for Janice when she was in Central Perk, even turning to see if it was her coming through the door and then shaking her head angrily at herself. Almost all her liveliness was gone; much of the time she would just sit there, looking rather lost. She could not be persuaded to do any of her funny turns, even by Ross, responding to any request by saying, rather shortly, that she did not feel like it. Ross had the sense not to press it, but the truth was, he did not seem to be putting much effort into trying to make Emily happy either, in Rachel's opinion. He did not even seem to show sufficient contrition for his mistrust of her, she thought. Much of the time, he seemed preoccupied, not to say brooding, so that both of them would sit there in Central Perk, casting an air of despondency around them.
"Have you noticed a lot of looks between Ross and Phoebe lately?" Rachel said to Monica, breaking another silence.
"Yeah," said Monica sombrely. "There's something going on there, I'm certain."
Since Ross and Emily's reconciliation, Phoebe had been uncharacteristically irritable. Her behaviour towards Ross had varied between the alarmingly intimate and the coldly aloof, while her manner towards Emily was barely polite. Sometimes she would produce pointed remarks about the need for people to make up their minds, which seemed to be directed at both Ross and Emily. And the air of tension developing within the group was being made worse by Joey's moping because Janice was no longer around. For all his efforts, and those of his friends, he could not seem to get over her. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of depression about, Rachel thought, for Gunther also seemed more than usually withdrawn, probably for the same reason as Joey. At least Chandler and Kathy were not depressed, but they seemed to be in a holding pattern, contented with each other, but not very lively or demonstrative.
"Well, there's one bright spot, at least," she said, grinning at Monica. "Though it's gonna be hard waiting to see if it's taken." She was referring to Monica's insemination with Chandler's sperm, which had been carried out without difficulty a couple of days earlier.
Monica grinned back. "We'll just have to be patient – not my strong point."
Rachel reached out and took her hand. "You were very patient with me."
Monica's grin softened into a loving smile. "It was worth the wait. Let's hope this will be too. Shall we clear away?"
They had almost finished the dishes when the buzzer went. Rachel answered it.
"It's me again," said Emily in a distressed-sounding voice, "and this time it's serious. Can I come up?"
"Of course," said Rachel, pressing the door release. "Emily," she said in response to Monica's questioning look, "and she said, it's serious this time."
"Oh lord!" said Monica, hastily stripping off washing-up gloves and apron. They went to the door and opened it. Emily came pounding up the stairs determinedly, carrying two cases. She gave them a rather strained smile when she saw them. Seen closer, she had tear-tracks running down her cheeks.
"This time I am leaving him," she said fiercely.
"Phoebe!" said Rachel, unconsciously speaking her thought aloud.
"You knew?" said Emily sharply, coming to an abrupt halt just outside the apartment.
"I guessed something had happened," said Rachel. "They were both looking … strange when they came into Central Perk together, and they have been acting strange ever since. So – he went to her?"
Emily nodded, her eyes flashing with what looked like rage. "He leaped to the conclusion that I had left him for Janice. Just like with you that time, Rachel, when he assumed you were carrying on with Mark. No hesitation about his conclusion – he had all the evidence, didn't he? The amazing Professor Geller can't ever be wrong," she almost snarled. "He never could trust me, that's what it comes down to, and I'm sick of it. You'd think he would have learned from his experience with Rachel, but no! You were well shot of him, I think," she said savagely, turning to Rachel. "If it hadn't been Mark, it would have been something else. Maybe his experience with Carol has screwed him up for ever. Anyway, he went running to Phoebe – I'm not clear why her particularly – and she was happy to … console him."
"I'm sorry," said Monica slowly. "I had thought better of her. But we've thought for some time that she had developed a crush on him."
"You don't know the worst," said Emily darkly. "He admitted to me, she positively encouraged him not to worry about protection. She wanted to get pregnant, which is fine, but why did she have to use my husband!" She positively shouted the last word, and then broke down. Monica threw her arms round her and took her inside, while Rachel followed with the cases.
"I'm so sorry," Monica said, settling Emily down on the couch. "My brother seems totally incapable of staying out of trouble in his relationships."
"How did you find out?" said Rachel, sitting down behind Emily and patting her back.
Emily lifted her face, now running with new tears, from Monica's shoulder. "You saw it – he was acting strangely, and more so at home. He barely spoke, just sat and brooded, and when I tried to talk to him he would get irritated. I knew something was wrong, and I was on edge, because, to be honest, I could not stop thinking about Janice. God, I missed her! Finally I said, rather roughly, there was clearly something troubling him, and what the hell was it, because his behaviour was driving me crazy! He went at it in a bit of a roundabout way, first saying how he had been wondering if we had got married too fast, and did I think we had made a mistake. I asked why he thought that, and then he broke down and told me, he was afraid he was falling out of love with me, and that he had made love with Phoebe, and was attracted to her. He could not keep it in any more, he said; he felt so guilty. He said he would understand if I left him, and it was so bloody obvious that in his heart of hearts he wanted me to – that I did." She looked at them defiantly. "I'm not going to go on trying. Do you think …" She swallowed, and then said, "Rachel, do you think I could have some of your marvellous coffee? I badly need something."
"Sure," said Rachel, getting up. "Do you want some brandy in it?" she asked, grinning.
"Brandy, is it?" said Emily in her Irish voice. "Sure, brandy never done half the good whishky did." She looked at them in surprise. "That's the first time I've wanted to do that for days. It has to be a sign. Do you, do you think Janice …" She swallowed and seemed lost for words.
"What do you think you can offer her, Emily?" said Monica seriously.
"Love," said Emily instantly. "It's been torture this last week, trying to fix my thoughts on Ross when my mind kept running off to her. I've come to realise, my feelings for her go far deeper than I thought. The only thing is, well, I'm not sure about the sex part. But do you think she will be ready to listen to me, even?"
"Don't worry about the sex – it will come," said Monica, smiling at Rachel. "We took a while. As for the other, I'm sure she'll be delighted to hear from you. Why don't you use our phone and ring her right now?"
"Thanks," cried Emily, and instantly seized the phone. She tapped in the number slowly and carefully, as if afraid of making a mistake.
"Janice?" she said rather tentatively. "It's, it's Emily. I've got something to tell you." She paused for a moment and took an audible breath. "I've left Ross – I'll tell you why when I see you – and I'm not going back. I," she choked for a moment and put her hand over her eyes, then swallowed, seemed to gather courage, and went on, "I've missed you dreadfully, so much that, that I think I must be in l-love with you. Can you forgive –"
But her words were drowned by the exultant shriek from the other end, quite audible to Monica and Rachel, followed by an excited babble that Emily vainly tried to break into more than once before she put on her Irish voice and thundered, "For the love a' God, woman, will you hold yer wheesht and let me speak?"
There was a loud giggle from the other end, then silence. Emily said, "I'm at Monica and Rachel's, and I'm feeling … rather worn. Besides, Maggie must be in bed by now, and my coming would disturb her. So can you bear it if I stay here tonight and come round first thing tomorrow, and I mean first thing, Maggie's breakfast time?" She paused, and smiled. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, my dearest. Sleep well."
She put down the phone and turned a glowing face to Monica and Rachel. "She, she still loves me …"
"Of course she does, sweetie," said Monica, "and you'll be so happy together, I just know it." She got up and held out her arms, and Emily collapsed into them, crying a little. Rachel hugged her too, and then they all sat down again.
"You'll have to knock me out," said Emily, grinning at them. "I don't think I'll sleep tonight otherwise." Her eyes were bright, her lips parted; she looked a new woman.
"I haven't seen you so excited since your marriage," said Rachel indulgently.
"I'm more excited than I was then," said Emily, getting up and jigging round the room, grinning at them. "With Ross, I knew what I was getting, or I thought I did, but this is all new!"
"Emily, I don't mean to distress you," said Monica, "but did you ever really love my brother?"
"Monica!" said Rachel in shock.
"No, it's a fair question," said Emily, stopping dancing and looking more sober. "I certainly thought I did. But I realised, once we were back from honeymoon and he started having to go to work and all, that there's a difference between having a lover – and whatever his faults, Ross is a good lover" – her eye caught Rachel's, and Rachel nodded her agreement – "and having a husband. It was a great help that you two were so welcoming." She smiled in reminiscence. "It was as if I was marrying a whole group, in some ways, and the rest of you made up for Ross's more irritating qualities. If we had been on our own, I doubt we'd have lasted long. But I now know, Janice is my soulmate, the one person I actively want to be with all the time."
"Well, I guess we have to hope that Phoebe is Ross's," said Monica, "though there's been no sign of that before, and I can't see it, myself."
Rachel shook her head, and Emily sighed. "Neither can I. He never showed signs of being really attracted to her, unlike Janice." She gave a little laugh. "I won that one." Then she looked serious again. "Of course, I won't take a penny from him. That would be mean. We both made a mistake."
"That's generous of you, Emily," said Monica appreciatively. "Well, let's hope it all works out."
-----
As she had predicted, Emily was too excited to sleep much that night, but she did not seem tired when Monica took her round to Janice's in a cab quite early the following morning. They had called up, so Janice was waiting in her doorway, looking almost unbearably tense. The two threw themselves into each other's arms and clung together, weeping and murmuring things no one else could hear, until Maggie asked in a rather impatient way why they were crying now. They broke apart and smiled at her.
"It's because we're so happy, sweetheart," said Janice.
"That's silly," said Maggie firmly. "I don't cry when I'm happy."
"Wel, it's probably also because we're so sorry that we had to be apart," said Emily. "But we won't have to be any more."
"Yes, mommy told me you're going to live here," said Maggie calmly.
"And is that all right with you?" said Emily, seeming slightly anxious.
Maggie smiled at her. "You'll make mommy happy?"
"I'll do my very, very best," said Emily, with a loving look at Janice.
Maggie nodded. "Then it's okay." She went back to her breakfast.
To Monica's eyes Janice seemed transformed. All the rather quirky, nervous approach to the world that she had displayed even when she and Chandler were truly in love had gone. She hugged them both and left them happily planning the reorganisation of the apartment as they unpacked Emily's cases. She had a feeling that she had witnessed the beginning of a partnership that would be as successful as hers and Rachel's.
By the time she had got back to the apartment, breakfast was in full swing and everyone was there. Phoebe was sitting next to Ross with a proprietorial air and looking very happy. Ross himself did not look happy, however; he had his characteristic expression of gloom all over his face, although he smiled at Phoebe readily enough when she tried to cheer him up. Chandler, Kathy, and Joey were all there; they seemed shell-shocked, and looked rather relieved to see Monica arrive. She could not help look at Phoebe rather accusingly. Phoebe's mouth twisted in a slightly wry smile; she got up and nodded her head, for them to step out onto the balcony.
When they had done so, before Monica could utter a word Phoebe burst out, "Don't you look at me like that, Monica Geller! If you had seen the state the poor guy was in, you would have wanted to do something! It took me right back to when Carol had just told him about herself. I nearly made love with him then. Now, well, I've had feelings for him for a while … It was the obvious thing to do, and it certainly cheered him up!"
Monica sighed. "Well, Phoebe, I can't say I altogether blame you, though I don't think you should have taken the risk of getting pregnant."
"Oh, you know about that?" said Phoebe. "Well, I don't see why you should get to be the only mom among us!" She sounded bitter.
"Phoebe!" said Monica reproachfully. "You know I don't think that. It's just, well, Ross is going to be very upset about his second marriage breaking up, and with this as well …"
"Don't you worry," said Phoebe confidently. "I'll make him happy, and I'll help him handle your mother."
Monica smiled and patted her on the arm. She did not have the heart to point out the odds against their making an enduring couple, when they had such very differing approaches to life. Well, maybe they would adapt to each other; she hoped so.
Author's Note: Well, will they? What do you think? Reviews giving an opinion will be very welcome :).