Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing. Wish we did but we don't. We are not making any money from this.

Self-Insert Saga - Gundam Wing

By Kynthia, Cricket, and Coley

Part 3

Cricket looked around the scrap yard she had fallen in to and decided two things. One: she needed a mirror and Two: She was hungry. She noticed a house across the scrap yard. She decided it looked like it might have both.

10 minutes later

Having successfully picked the lock… but not with hairpins, which she considered a waste of time. She just ran a credit card through the door jam. 'Why do people always do that the hard way?' she wondered as she walked into the house. It never occurred to her to wonder where the credit card came from.

She walked into the kitchen and made a bee line to the fridge. As she opened the fridge an annoying buzzing sounded over her head. She looked up and saw an intercom.

Feeling curious she pushed a lone red button on the wall. Holding it down she spoke, "Uh, hello?"

"Ms. Bunbun? I need your assistance."

Cricket's blood ran cold. She knew that voice. It haunted her nightmares. It was….*dramatic music*…Relena.

"By all that is good in the world how did this happen?" All she could do was stand and stare into the quickly warming fridge. The cheese was melting. 'Eww,' she thought vaguely through her horror.

She began to turn slowly in search of something sharp. The vile thing could not be allowed to live.

"Ms. Cricket BunBun! Where are you?"

She froze again. This had to be a nightmare…or this was hell. Did she die and not remember? Could that happen? 'What horrible thing did I do in a past life to deserve this??'

Cricket looked down for the first time at what she was wearing. Earlier she had been so overcome with enthusiasm that she hadn't taken in the bright bubblegum pink maid uniform that she was wearing. "Aren't these uniforms supposed to be black?"

"Black is such a horrendous color." The voice said from behind her. She turned quickly to see who had snuck up behind her.

It was the creature from the depths of hell that even she wasn't evil enough to reach. It was…Relena. Dun dun duh!

"What am I doing here?!" Cricket shrieked. She was to horrified to realize that she probably shouldn't be acting like this.

Relena quirked an eyebrow. "You've been my maid for a month now. Are you feeling ok?"

"A…month…" Cricket's mouth hung open. Her eyes began to water like she would cry.

Relena took a step back from her clearly over stressed help.

"I know I've threatened, tormented, beaten, tortured, and generally annoyed the hell out of others, but….how do I deserve this?!"

"You have clearly not taken your pills today. You should probably go lie down. If we were at the mansion I could just send someone else to clean up the spill. Since we're in this safe house and I'm not even supposed to have brought any of the help, I guess I'll just have to do it myself," Relena rambled as she walked away.

Cricket felt herself grow faint. 'Why?'

An ominous voice sounded in her head, Check, check, check. Is this thing working? Ok. Eternal dragon here. You are being punished for all the wishes I've had to grant to fix the mess the three of you made in my world.

"Are all three of us being punished?" She didn't question the fact that she was now talking back to the voices in her head. She imagined Kynthia being locked in a room full of clowns and Coley attached to Bulma at the hip for all of eternity.

No. Just you.

"Why?"

I only have enough power to reach one of you so we had to draw your name from a hat. Vegeta wanted to kill your friend Coley for killing Bulma and giving him hope.

She heard a click in her mind.

Hey. I have mail.

"What?"

Oh. Nothing. Just checking my e-mail.

She vaguely wondered why he would have e-mail but there probably wasn't a whole lot someone could do while trapped in the dragon balls.

I should be going. Bye! Enjoy your stay. Muwahahaha!

Cricket decided she needed to lie down.

She staggered to a room. There wasn't a patch of space that wasn't saturated with pink or frills. She dropped onto the bed and landed on something hard poking her in the stomach. It must have been the remote because the TV flickered to life. She certainly hoped it was the remote poking her in the stomach, because the idea of a TV turning itself on was an idea she couldn't deal with at this point of time.

A familiar voice could be heard shouting from the television. This time it wasn't Relena. She turned her head. A familiar green haired girl was in a uniform shouting at a woman she was sure was Lady Une, in her unhappy personality.

She glared in Kynthia. Cricket was stuck being a maid to the pacifist bitch while Kynthia got to send people to their deaths! This was her wish! She was supposed to be the one having fun.

Kynthia would pay for this.

To be continued…

Author's Notes: Kynthia - I just want to tell Cricket that if she is unhappy with this chapter then she should have known better than to put an insulting screen saver on my computer and then leave Coley and I alone while we are on sugar highs.

^_^

Bye!