And Chapter 3... i should have given these more interesting titles
disclaimer: sigh - you've heard them all before, just press rewind and play in your mine
* * *
Robert stood at the door of his home, holding Ella in his arm. Elizabeth had just pulled up the drive.
"Hey." She yelled as she got out of the car.
"Hi." He replied walking down the steps to meet her.
"Hi mommy." Ella reached out to her mother.
"Hey Baby." Elizabeth took Ella with one arm and kissed her then hugged Robert with her free arm and kissed him too - only it lasted a little longer - until Ella giggled. Robert took her hand and led her inside.
"Did she sleep this afternoon?" Elizabeth asked.
Robert nodded, "We both did. And then Ella made dinner - with Gretel's help.
"Oh gosh,"
"It's okay, I made us something else - even Gretel wouldn't eat Ella's meal."
"Did she?"
"Almost, I took it instead, didn't I Ella?"
"Wobut ate my dinner." She giggled.
Elizabeth looked at him quizzically, as if to say 'really?'
Robert shook his head, subtly, holding Elizabeth's eye contact.
"So what did you have for dinner Ella?"
"I gave her a bit of ours."
"Sloppy Joe" Ella grinned, the proof still decorating her mouth.
"We're having sloppy Joes?" Elizabeth asked
"No, we're having spaghetti - I just put some of the meat sauce in a roll for Ella - I've seen her with spaghetti - that should be illegal - it probably is in Kentucky or something."
Elizabeth laughed and kissed him again, "I'll just get Ella cleaned up. I'll be right back." She walked down to Ella's room and disappeared through the doorway. Robert smiled and walked into the kitchen, flicking the element back on to heat up their dinner. His legs were really warm - he looked down. He was in bed. In the hospital. He could see out over the city and the sun was shining in over his bed. Then he remembered where he was - he couldn't ignore the disappointment. He closed his eyes again, trying to recapture the dream. He dozed off again but he his dream didn't return.
Elizabeth approached his bed quietly, trying to tell if he was sleeping or not. He looked so peaceful - he even had the hint of a smile on his lips. Okay, stop looking at his lips, she told herself and sat down on the chair beside his bed, content to watch him sleep. He turned to face her and his eyes blinked open,
"Lizzie?"
"Hey." She smiled at him. He sat up a bit; unsure if he was still dreaming, half hoping he was, cause then he could kiss her. "How you feeling?" she asked.
He nodded, eyes droopy, "better. It's nice - sleeping in the sun, I mean."
"I'm jealous." She smiled, helping him to sit up a bit. "Do you mind?" she pulled up the bandage a bit.
"No, go for it." He woke up a bit and watched her face as she carefully removed the dressing.
"Are you sure you want to see it?" she looked at him, holding the dressing in place.
He nodded but he didn't look too sure. He could see her doubt in her face, "Just do it Lizzie." She nodded and lifted off the dressing, turning away to put it in a bag. She turned back. He was looking at the stump, jaw clenched. She cleaned the wound carefully.
"How bad?" she asked
His jaw was firmly clenched, "nine." He forced out and blinked repeatedly. She tried to ignore the pain in his eyes and focus on the task at hand. She gently put a fresh dressing on, taped it on and focused on taking the old dressing away. She walked out of his room and leaned against the door, blinking back the tears.
"Dr Corday, is everything okay?" one of the nurses asked.
"Yeah." She nodded too much, "I'm just getting a blanket from the warmer." She got the blanket and returned to Robert's room avoiding the looks on the nurse's faces.
"Lizzie." He said as she wrapped it around his arm, "You don't have to do that again if you don't want to."
"I thought it would be easier than that." She sat down on the chair beside his bed, refusing to hold eye contact.
"Lizzie," he took her hand, "this isn't your battle."
"I just wish I could do something."
"You have." He nodded "And it's not that bad."
"Robert, don't lie to me." She shook her head and finally met his eyes. She almost felt guilty.
"You know what I miss the most?" he changed the subject abruptly.
Her brow wrinkled, "surgery?"
"No." he shook his head, "You forget, I have a life outside of this hospital. But cooking is a whole lot more difficult, all that time I spent learning to tie my shoelaces when I was four years old, was totally wasted, and playing the guitar is impossible." He listed thoughtfully, a wry smile on his lips.
"I didn't know you played the guitar."
"Did. But I can still sing." He half-smiled.
"Is that an offer?" she asked after moment's confusion at his surprisingly positive attitude.
He looked at her scrutinisingly, "No."
"Oh, well, I'll weasel it out of you one day." She smiled.
"Elizabeth." Doctor Dorsett pushed brusquely through the doors into Robert's room. "I've been looking all over for you - when you're finished with this guy could we discuss our 6 o'clock hernia?"
Elizabeth turned, ridiculously uncomfortable, "Yeah, I'll be right with you." She said. Dorsett pushed back through the doors with as little grace as he had on his way in.
"Sorry." Elizabeth turned back to Robert.
"You should go." He replied distantly
"Yeah, I should." She didn't move, "people are already talking."
"They'll talk about anything." He replied simply, not sure if the gossip was about Elizabeth and him, or about Elizabeth and Dorsett.
"Yeah." Elizabeth stood. "I'll see you when I see you." She walked out. Robert sighed and closed his eyes, his dream fading to the point of no return. She was out of his league - why hadn't he moved on years ago? He asked himself, knowing the answer but refusing to let himself think it.
Suddenly, she pushed back through the doors, "No, you know what? He can wait - he's a cocky jerk who doesn't know how to take a 'no'. You can be a cocky jerk too, but…" she swallowed, not knowing how to finish her sentence.
Robert looked at her, "but what Lizzie?"
She held his eye contact for a few seconds but soon dropped her eyes to the floor in confusion.
"You've got the upper hand here - you know how I feel, maybe not all of it, but-"
He was broken off by Kerry pushing through the doors with the same level of enthusiasm as Dorsett had.
"Elizabeth, I thought I might find you here - can I see you please? I'm not paying you to visit patients." Elizabeth turned and followed her out into an empty room.
"Elizabeth," Kerry began, but Elizabeth cut her off,
"How dare you? He has worked his arse off for this hospital since the day he got here and he may not be the easiest person to work with but-"
"Easiest? He's a nightmare." Kerry interrupted her rant
"He's taking crap from enough directions at the moment - the last thing he needs is you, tearing him down with your verbal nail gun."
"I was not attacking him."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "and I wasn't visiting him - I had just finished changing his dressing."
"Oh." Kerry looked at the floor. "Are you sure you're the best person to do that?"
"Are you questioning my ability or my professionalism?"
"Your objectivity. You know to step away if you get too involved."
"Kerry, this is none of your concern." Elizabeth walked out of the room, knowing Kerry was awfully close to the truth. She didn't want to go back and talk to Robert until she could tell him what she wanted, what she felt - and she didn't know what that was yet. Unfortunately, she didn't want to talk to Dorsett either, but she didn't have so much choice there - when the elevator doors opened onto the fourth floor he stepped in beside her.
"Oh, good," he began and went on to ask about some complications with the operation they were to perform in an hour. She answered his questions mechanically, her mind occupied otherwise. "So, afterwards?" Dorsett asked, the hernia discussion evidently over - her progressed onto his favourite subject, "You think we could get that coffee you promised me?"
"I'm on the ER from 8 till 10."
"How about afterwards?"
"I really have to get home." Elizabeth said impatiently.
"Am I wasting my time here?" He turned to face her. He was so close it made her uncomfortable. "I mean, do you want to go out or are you just making excuses cause its easier than telling me the truth."
Elizabeth sighed, "Edward, I'm not in the best place right now, and I don't think I should -"
"That's all I needed to know." He shrugged. And walked away as soon as the doors opened.
At ten o'clock Elizabeth pushed through the doors into the locker room. She leaned against a locker, blinking and trying to control her sigh. Susan Lewis entered behind her, yawning,
"Long day huh?"
Elizabeth smiled at her, "Yeah," she opened her locker and started to get changed out of her scrubs.
"How do you do it?" Susan asked, doing the same thing.
"What?"
"Work and be a mum."
"Oh, good nanny. And I now know the crèche staff."
Susan shook her head and smiled admiringly. "How's Romano?"
Elizabeth looked at her and nodded, "better. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you visited."
"Real? I wasn't sure cause he can be a bit hostile."
"A bit?" Elizabeth laughed.
Susan smiled, "How's his attitude?"
"Better today," Elizabeth slung her bag over her shoulder, "I don't know why though. It was awful at first."
Susan nodded, "Good to hear he's on the improve."
Elizabeth smiled, "Yeah, I think he is. I'd better go, Ella will want to go to the park tomorrow and she doesn't appreciate it when I fall asleep on a park bench."
Susan laughed, "Yeah. See you later."
Elizabeth leant over Ella's cot, looking at her chubby sleeping face. She smiled in her sleep, making Elizabeth smile. She wished she could spend more time with her beautiful little girl - tomorrow she had the whole day - she wasn't on call until 4pm and that was enough time to go to the park, go out for lunch and go home for a nap - for both of them. Chris would arrive at 4 so Elizabeth could go into the hospital and get some paper work out of the way - and she'd be close by if she got paged. She went into her own room and collapsed on the bed. Kicking off her shoes, she pulled the blankets back and tucked them around her. She'd made a habit of sleeping in her clothes recently. She soon got comfortable and her eyes fell shut.
disclaimer: sigh - you've heard them all before, just press rewind and play in your mine
* * *
Robert stood at the door of his home, holding Ella in his arm. Elizabeth had just pulled up the drive.
"Hey." She yelled as she got out of the car.
"Hi." He replied walking down the steps to meet her.
"Hi mommy." Ella reached out to her mother.
"Hey Baby." Elizabeth took Ella with one arm and kissed her then hugged Robert with her free arm and kissed him too - only it lasted a little longer - until Ella giggled. Robert took her hand and led her inside.
"Did she sleep this afternoon?" Elizabeth asked.
Robert nodded, "We both did. And then Ella made dinner - with Gretel's help.
"Oh gosh,"
"It's okay, I made us something else - even Gretel wouldn't eat Ella's meal."
"Did she?"
"Almost, I took it instead, didn't I Ella?"
"Wobut ate my dinner." She giggled.
Elizabeth looked at him quizzically, as if to say 'really?'
Robert shook his head, subtly, holding Elizabeth's eye contact.
"So what did you have for dinner Ella?"
"I gave her a bit of ours."
"Sloppy Joe" Ella grinned, the proof still decorating her mouth.
"We're having sloppy Joes?" Elizabeth asked
"No, we're having spaghetti - I just put some of the meat sauce in a roll for Ella - I've seen her with spaghetti - that should be illegal - it probably is in Kentucky or something."
Elizabeth laughed and kissed him again, "I'll just get Ella cleaned up. I'll be right back." She walked down to Ella's room and disappeared through the doorway. Robert smiled and walked into the kitchen, flicking the element back on to heat up their dinner. His legs were really warm - he looked down. He was in bed. In the hospital. He could see out over the city and the sun was shining in over his bed. Then he remembered where he was - he couldn't ignore the disappointment. He closed his eyes again, trying to recapture the dream. He dozed off again but he his dream didn't return.
Elizabeth approached his bed quietly, trying to tell if he was sleeping or not. He looked so peaceful - he even had the hint of a smile on his lips. Okay, stop looking at his lips, she told herself and sat down on the chair beside his bed, content to watch him sleep. He turned to face her and his eyes blinked open,
"Lizzie?"
"Hey." She smiled at him. He sat up a bit; unsure if he was still dreaming, half hoping he was, cause then he could kiss her. "How you feeling?" she asked.
He nodded, eyes droopy, "better. It's nice - sleeping in the sun, I mean."
"I'm jealous." She smiled, helping him to sit up a bit. "Do you mind?" she pulled up the bandage a bit.
"No, go for it." He woke up a bit and watched her face as she carefully removed the dressing.
"Are you sure you want to see it?" she looked at him, holding the dressing in place.
He nodded but he didn't look too sure. He could see her doubt in her face, "Just do it Lizzie." She nodded and lifted off the dressing, turning away to put it in a bag. She turned back. He was looking at the stump, jaw clenched. She cleaned the wound carefully.
"How bad?" she asked
His jaw was firmly clenched, "nine." He forced out and blinked repeatedly. She tried to ignore the pain in his eyes and focus on the task at hand. She gently put a fresh dressing on, taped it on and focused on taking the old dressing away. She walked out of his room and leaned against the door, blinking back the tears.
"Dr Corday, is everything okay?" one of the nurses asked.
"Yeah." She nodded too much, "I'm just getting a blanket from the warmer." She got the blanket and returned to Robert's room avoiding the looks on the nurse's faces.
"Lizzie." He said as she wrapped it around his arm, "You don't have to do that again if you don't want to."
"I thought it would be easier than that." She sat down on the chair beside his bed, refusing to hold eye contact.
"Lizzie," he took her hand, "this isn't your battle."
"I just wish I could do something."
"You have." He nodded "And it's not that bad."
"Robert, don't lie to me." She shook her head and finally met his eyes. She almost felt guilty.
"You know what I miss the most?" he changed the subject abruptly.
Her brow wrinkled, "surgery?"
"No." he shook his head, "You forget, I have a life outside of this hospital. But cooking is a whole lot more difficult, all that time I spent learning to tie my shoelaces when I was four years old, was totally wasted, and playing the guitar is impossible." He listed thoughtfully, a wry smile on his lips.
"I didn't know you played the guitar."
"Did. But I can still sing." He half-smiled.
"Is that an offer?" she asked after moment's confusion at his surprisingly positive attitude.
He looked at her scrutinisingly, "No."
"Oh, well, I'll weasel it out of you one day." She smiled.
"Elizabeth." Doctor Dorsett pushed brusquely through the doors into Robert's room. "I've been looking all over for you - when you're finished with this guy could we discuss our 6 o'clock hernia?"
Elizabeth turned, ridiculously uncomfortable, "Yeah, I'll be right with you." She said. Dorsett pushed back through the doors with as little grace as he had on his way in.
"Sorry." Elizabeth turned back to Robert.
"You should go." He replied distantly
"Yeah, I should." She didn't move, "people are already talking."
"They'll talk about anything." He replied simply, not sure if the gossip was about Elizabeth and him, or about Elizabeth and Dorsett.
"Yeah." Elizabeth stood. "I'll see you when I see you." She walked out. Robert sighed and closed his eyes, his dream fading to the point of no return. She was out of his league - why hadn't he moved on years ago? He asked himself, knowing the answer but refusing to let himself think it.
Suddenly, she pushed back through the doors, "No, you know what? He can wait - he's a cocky jerk who doesn't know how to take a 'no'. You can be a cocky jerk too, but…" she swallowed, not knowing how to finish her sentence.
Robert looked at her, "but what Lizzie?"
She held his eye contact for a few seconds but soon dropped her eyes to the floor in confusion.
"You've got the upper hand here - you know how I feel, maybe not all of it, but-"
He was broken off by Kerry pushing through the doors with the same level of enthusiasm as Dorsett had.
"Elizabeth, I thought I might find you here - can I see you please? I'm not paying you to visit patients." Elizabeth turned and followed her out into an empty room.
"Elizabeth," Kerry began, but Elizabeth cut her off,
"How dare you? He has worked his arse off for this hospital since the day he got here and he may not be the easiest person to work with but-"
"Easiest? He's a nightmare." Kerry interrupted her rant
"He's taking crap from enough directions at the moment - the last thing he needs is you, tearing him down with your verbal nail gun."
"I was not attacking him."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "and I wasn't visiting him - I had just finished changing his dressing."
"Oh." Kerry looked at the floor. "Are you sure you're the best person to do that?"
"Are you questioning my ability or my professionalism?"
"Your objectivity. You know to step away if you get too involved."
"Kerry, this is none of your concern." Elizabeth walked out of the room, knowing Kerry was awfully close to the truth. She didn't want to go back and talk to Robert until she could tell him what she wanted, what she felt - and she didn't know what that was yet. Unfortunately, she didn't want to talk to Dorsett either, but she didn't have so much choice there - when the elevator doors opened onto the fourth floor he stepped in beside her.
"Oh, good," he began and went on to ask about some complications with the operation they were to perform in an hour. She answered his questions mechanically, her mind occupied otherwise. "So, afterwards?" Dorsett asked, the hernia discussion evidently over - her progressed onto his favourite subject, "You think we could get that coffee you promised me?"
"I'm on the ER from 8 till 10."
"How about afterwards?"
"I really have to get home." Elizabeth said impatiently.
"Am I wasting my time here?" He turned to face her. He was so close it made her uncomfortable. "I mean, do you want to go out or are you just making excuses cause its easier than telling me the truth."
Elizabeth sighed, "Edward, I'm not in the best place right now, and I don't think I should -"
"That's all I needed to know." He shrugged. And walked away as soon as the doors opened.
At ten o'clock Elizabeth pushed through the doors into the locker room. She leaned against a locker, blinking and trying to control her sigh. Susan Lewis entered behind her, yawning,
"Long day huh?"
Elizabeth smiled at her, "Yeah," she opened her locker and started to get changed out of her scrubs.
"How do you do it?" Susan asked, doing the same thing.
"What?"
"Work and be a mum."
"Oh, good nanny. And I now know the crèche staff."
Susan shook her head and smiled admiringly. "How's Romano?"
Elizabeth looked at her and nodded, "better. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you visited."
"Real? I wasn't sure cause he can be a bit hostile."
"A bit?" Elizabeth laughed.
Susan smiled, "How's his attitude?"
"Better today," Elizabeth slung her bag over her shoulder, "I don't know why though. It was awful at first."
Susan nodded, "Good to hear he's on the improve."
Elizabeth smiled, "Yeah, I think he is. I'd better go, Ella will want to go to the park tomorrow and she doesn't appreciate it when I fall asleep on a park bench."
Susan laughed, "Yeah. See you later."
Elizabeth leant over Ella's cot, looking at her chubby sleeping face. She smiled in her sleep, making Elizabeth smile. She wished she could spend more time with her beautiful little girl - tomorrow she had the whole day - she wasn't on call until 4pm and that was enough time to go to the park, go out for lunch and go home for a nap - for both of them. Chris would arrive at 4 so Elizabeth could go into the hospital and get some paper work out of the way - and she'd be close by if she got paged. She went into her own room and collapsed on the bed. Kicking off her shoes, she pulled the blankets back and tucked them around her. She'd made a habit of sleeping in her clothes recently. She soon got comfortable and her eyes fell shut.