I'm really, really sorry about the long wait for this chapter. I've had so
much trouble writing this one - basically I suck majorly at writing
anything remotely fluffy so it took me ages to write the first S/V scene in
this chapter. I still hate it, and it's awful and corny and I know that I
can't write fluff to save my life so I just decided that it's the best I
can do for now. If you all hate it, I'll have another go at it though, so
please, please review to tell me what you think.
Also, please read my CM JJ Challenge entries "One Side Of The Coin" and "Through The Looking Glass". No one reviewed them *sob*, actually, probably no one read them either. Anyways, they are partly the reason this chapter is so delayed because I spent ages on those two fics.
I hope the huge amount of time since chapter 2 didn't make you all lose interest in this story - if you're still reading please review to let me know what you think of it - it would make my day. . . or week. . .or month. . . or year. . .or. . .I think you get the idea :)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few days passed and Vaughn's visits quickly became the highlight of Sydney's day. Francie and Will spent a lot of time with her, but she still felt jabs of jealously at their closeness and when the three friends talked, Francie, always afraid of upsetting Sydney or reminding her of the last two years, spoke as if she was skating on very thin ice. Jack came to see her whenever he could, but their moments together were strained and full of uncomfortable silences. Vaughn had no real excuse to see her, other than the force of habit, so his appearances were less frequent than the others', as he could not take time off work the way they could. However, every spare moment he had was spent at Sydney's side and he found that he could talk and laugh with her as effortlessly as if they had known each other all their lives. He had still not worked up the courage to tell her how he felt about her, telling himself that it was best to wait for a few more days until she was less confused.
Every morning Sydney psyched herself up to tell Vaughn about their relationship in her dream, and every evening she failed to tell him. She was aware that her time with him was quickly running out; in a week and a half she would probably be going home and Vaughn would no longer be a part of her life. Determined to finally say something, Sydney was consumed by an anxious anticipation all day and found it impossible to concentrate on anything. Jack called the hospital in the early afternoon to say he was busy and would be unable to visit; an excuse Sydney knew was a lie because Vaughn had told her that Jack had been given time off work to spend time with his daughter. In any other circumstances Sydney would have been heartbroken but today she didn't want to see anyone except Vaughn, and he was also the person she wanted to see least. She half-listened to Will's well-meant chatter and trivial jokes, laughing weakly or nodding her head whenever it seemed necessary. After her tenth glance at the clock in as many minutes, Will asked why she seemed so distracted but she shook her head and told him she was fine; Francie was too worried about saying something wrong to notice. Sydney was glad when they had to leave, though she immediately felt ashamed of herself for thinking like that so soon after deciding to make up for all the time she had missed with them.
Sydney spent the impatient hour until Vaughn's visit imagining all the ways her confession could go horribly wrong. She allowed herself to spend the last fifteen minutes dreaming of Vaughn responding with the declaration of his own deep and passionate love for her. By the time he arrived at the hospital her fantasies were so detailed and his possible responses were so beautiful that her cheeks were coloured by a deep blush and her eyes shone when he tapped lightly on the door and pushed it open.
"Hey," he greeted her with his usual friendliness.
"Michael, hi," she replied, trying to hold back the enthusiasm in her voice.
"You look much healthier today," he commented, taking his usual seat and pulling it closer to the bed.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better," she flashed him a bright smile, all her fears beginning to seep away.
"Wanna play Monopoly again? I bet I'll win this time," Playing Monopoly had begun as simply a way to stay in each other's company for a few hours, since the game took a long time to play. A few minutes of playing, however, had proved that they were both very competitive and, as it provided a lot of opportunity to talk and get to know each other, they both had a newfound love of the game.
Sydney laughed. "Michael, I've beaten you three times already. I'm getting a little sick of winning so easily," she teased him. Then growing serious, she continued, "actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."
"What is it? Is something wrong?" he asked, surprise and concern leaping into his voice.
"No, nothing's wrong," she hurriedly assured him. "It's just. . . I'm finding it hard to completely let go of my dream world, and I think that might be because I didn't tell you all of it." Sydney looked down into her lap and wrung her hands nervously.
"Why not?" asked Vaughn, confused.
"Because if I said it was only a part of a dream, it wouldn't seem real anymore and I wanted it to," she replied, so quietly he almost didn't hear it.
"What is it?" His voice was gentle and coaxing, and Sydney was soothed into telling him.
"In the dream, you. . . you and I were together. We were in love." She looked away, embarrassed and unable to look at him. "I know it doesn't mean anything. . . it was just a dream, right? But we were so deeply in love. It's just hard to shake a feeling as strong as that, and seeing you here every day. . . I'm just so confused because I still have all these feelings about you and I know it's stupid because you might be married or have a girlfriend. . . and I hardly know you at all. But I feel as if I do and -"
"Syd," he cut her off, putting two fingers under her chin and bringing her face back around to look at his. "I'm glad you told me, because there's something I want to tell you too. It's going to sound strange, and probably really stupid, but after what you just said, I can't let the opportunity go by," he took a deep breath. "Sydney, I love you. I know that sounds ridiculous, but maybe if you knew how much time I'd spent just sitting here watching you and talking to you. . . well, maybe you'd think it wasn't so ridiculous. Anyway, what I want to say is: I think you're amazing. Before you woke up, I was enchanted by your loveliness and I wanted more than anything to protect you. Now that I know you, I'm in awe of your strength and courage and determination as well. You're sweet and kind and funny, I've never met anyone like you."
As he spoke, Sydney's eyes filled with tears. She was deeply touched by his beautiful words, even her most elaborate fantasies hadn't come close to the feeling she had now, gazing into his emotion-filled eyes and feeling him gazing back into hers.
Finally finding her voice, Sydney spoke. "So, do you think there's a chance that there's a part of the dream I don't have to let go of?" Vaughn smiled. "I think there just might be."
An hour or so later, Vaughn sat on Sydney's bed next to her, one arm around her shoulders protectively holding her close. She was under the covers and propped up against the pillows. Her hands were in her lap, holding Vaughn's free hand between her own. Since they were now being completely honest with each other, neither had been able to stop talking for the past hour. They had a lot to talk about after the breakthrough in their relationship, and their first kiss had been a second breakthrough, which prompted more talk about their feelings for each other.
They both looked up as the door clicked open, and Vaughn moved uneasily back into the chair, secretly worried that their visitor would be Jack Bristow. He was relieved to see a young blond doctor entered, a specialist who had checked on Sydney once a week during her coma and was now fascinated by her miraculous recovery. One look at Sydney, however, spun his emotions around inside him, and turned his thoughts upside down. She was pressed back as far as she could get into the pillows, her eyes screwed shut and a look of pure terror on her face. She shook her head vigorously, repeating in a whisper the words "Just a dream, it was just a dream."
Vaughn was on his feet immediately, prying her hands away from her face and gently soothing her with whispered words of adoration and comfort.
"Syd, it's okay. Shhh. He won't hurt you, I promise. He's a specialist, he's been checking on you every week."
"No," she said in a low, dangerous voice. "He is not touching me."
"Sydney, please let me help you," the doctor stepped forward but Sydney put her hands over her ears to block out his voice, his accent unmistakable. "I'm Dr. Sark -"
"You're not him. Not him. Just a dream." Sydney's frantic muttering stopped him mid-sentence.
"Wait a minute," Vaughn ordered, putting out his hand to stop Dr. Sark moving any nearer as he finally understood. "Sydney. Syd, look at me. Dr. Sark was in your dream?" she nodded. "You don't have to see him today, but only if you tell me why you don't want to. Then we can get past it together. Do we have a deal?"
She looked at him suspiciously for a second, and instantly saw that she could trust him to keep his word. "Okay," she nodded, in a small voice.
"Okay," he said pulling her to him again and kissing the top of her head. She cried quietly against his shoulder and he rocked her slowly, pleased and grateful that he seemed to be able to console her when she needed it. When they pulled apart and leant back against the headboard again, Sark was gone.
"I wish I could just get past all this," Sydney sighed as she wiped the last few tears from her eyes.
"You will. *We* will. Sydney, what did he do to you?" Vaughn broached the subject nervously, not wanting to upset her again. But Sydney had calmed down considerably, and was now thinking rationally again.
When she had told him every last detail of Sark's involvement in her dream, she felt much better. She hadn't focused much on him when she told Vaughn and Jack about her dream, somehow thinking that he didn't really matter as much as Sloane or Irina. But now she realised that she had been scared of his power too, and it felt good to get that fear out into the open.
"I really don't know why I got so scared," she said with a hollow laugh, attempting to make light of the situation.
"I do," Vaughn replied quietly. She smiled at him. "You're trying to let go of everything that's happened to you - well *almost* everything -" he paused to grin at her. "And Sark reminded you of everything you're trying to move past. You just got scared that you weren't away from it all yet. Look, Syd, I know you don't want to see him, but I think it will help you move on. If you're really adamant that you won't, then I'll arrange for someone else to take over, but I think it's best for you to get it over with."
"How come you're so understanding?" she smiled at him, then sighed before continuing. "You're right though, I need to just face him and move on with my life."
"Right. And since you're skipping your appointment with Dr. Sark, we now have an extra half hour to ourselves. What do you think we should do?" he grinned mischievously at her. But she returned his look with a raised eyebrow.
"We're in a hospital room. I think we should wait until I'm out of here until we, uh, get to know each other better," she said, with amusement.
"Hey, who said anything about that? I was going to say, it's about time I beat you at *something*, and since Monopoly seems to be your game, I suggest we play cards."
"Michael!" she hit him playfully on the arm and laughed when he produced a pack of cards from the box by her bed.
"Well, if it helps, I liked your idea a lot more but it's kind of impractical, as you so rightly pointed out." He grinned again, and she rolled her eyes and laughed as he began to deal the cards.
TBC.....
Also, please read my CM JJ Challenge entries "One Side Of The Coin" and "Through The Looking Glass". No one reviewed them *sob*, actually, probably no one read them either. Anyways, they are partly the reason this chapter is so delayed because I spent ages on those two fics.
I hope the huge amount of time since chapter 2 didn't make you all lose interest in this story - if you're still reading please review to let me know what you think of it - it would make my day. . . or week. . .or month. . . or year. . .or. . .I think you get the idea :)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A few days passed and Vaughn's visits quickly became the highlight of Sydney's day. Francie and Will spent a lot of time with her, but she still felt jabs of jealously at their closeness and when the three friends talked, Francie, always afraid of upsetting Sydney or reminding her of the last two years, spoke as if she was skating on very thin ice. Jack came to see her whenever he could, but their moments together were strained and full of uncomfortable silences. Vaughn had no real excuse to see her, other than the force of habit, so his appearances were less frequent than the others', as he could not take time off work the way they could. However, every spare moment he had was spent at Sydney's side and he found that he could talk and laugh with her as effortlessly as if they had known each other all their lives. He had still not worked up the courage to tell her how he felt about her, telling himself that it was best to wait for a few more days until she was less confused.
Every morning Sydney psyched herself up to tell Vaughn about their relationship in her dream, and every evening she failed to tell him. She was aware that her time with him was quickly running out; in a week and a half she would probably be going home and Vaughn would no longer be a part of her life. Determined to finally say something, Sydney was consumed by an anxious anticipation all day and found it impossible to concentrate on anything. Jack called the hospital in the early afternoon to say he was busy and would be unable to visit; an excuse Sydney knew was a lie because Vaughn had told her that Jack had been given time off work to spend time with his daughter. In any other circumstances Sydney would have been heartbroken but today she didn't want to see anyone except Vaughn, and he was also the person she wanted to see least. She half-listened to Will's well-meant chatter and trivial jokes, laughing weakly or nodding her head whenever it seemed necessary. After her tenth glance at the clock in as many minutes, Will asked why she seemed so distracted but she shook her head and told him she was fine; Francie was too worried about saying something wrong to notice. Sydney was glad when they had to leave, though she immediately felt ashamed of herself for thinking like that so soon after deciding to make up for all the time she had missed with them.
Sydney spent the impatient hour until Vaughn's visit imagining all the ways her confession could go horribly wrong. She allowed herself to spend the last fifteen minutes dreaming of Vaughn responding with the declaration of his own deep and passionate love for her. By the time he arrived at the hospital her fantasies were so detailed and his possible responses were so beautiful that her cheeks were coloured by a deep blush and her eyes shone when he tapped lightly on the door and pushed it open.
"Hey," he greeted her with his usual friendliness.
"Michael, hi," she replied, trying to hold back the enthusiasm in her voice.
"You look much healthier today," he commented, taking his usual seat and pulling it closer to the bed.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better," she flashed him a bright smile, all her fears beginning to seep away.
"Wanna play Monopoly again? I bet I'll win this time," Playing Monopoly had begun as simply a way to stay in each other's company for a few hours, since the game took a long time to play. A few minutes of playing, however, had proved that they were both very competitive and, as it provided a lot of opportunity to talk and get to know each other, they both had a newfound love of the game.
Sydney laughed. "Michael, I've beaten you three times already. I'm getting a little sick of winning so easily," she teased him. Then growing serious, she continued, "actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."
"What is it? Is something wrong?" he asked, surprise and concern leaping into his voice.
"No, nothing's wrong," she hurriedly assured him. "It's just. . . I'm finding it hard to completely let go of my dream world, and I think that might be because I didn't tell you all of it." Sydney looked down into her lap and wrung her hands nervously.
"Why not?" asked Vaughn, confused.
"Because if I said it was only a part of a dream, it wouldn't seem real anymore and I wanted it to," she replied, so quietly he almost didn't hear it.
"What is it?" His voice was gentle and coaxing, and Sydney was soothed into telling him.
"In the dream, you. . . you and I were together. We were in love." She looked away, embarrassed and unable to look at him. "I know it doesn't mean anything. . . it was just a dream, right? But we were so deeply in love. It's just hard to shake a feeling as strong as that, and seeing you here every day. . . I'm just so confused because I still have all these feelings about you and I know it's stupid because you might be married or have a girlfriend. . . and I hardly know you at all. But I feel as if I do and -"
"Syd," he cut her off, putting two fingers under her chin and bringing her face back around to look at his. "I'm glad you told me, because there's something I want to tell you too. It's going to sound strange, and probably really stupid, but after what you just said, I can't let the opportunity go by," he took a deep breath. "Sydney, I love you. I know that sounds ridiculous, but maybe if you knew how much time I'd spent just sitting here watching you and talking to you. . . well, maybe you'd think it wasn't so ridiculous. Anyway, what I want to say is: I think you're amazing. Before you woke up, I was enchanted by your loveliness and I wanted more than anything to protect you. Now that I know you, I'm in awe of your strength and courage and determination as well. You're sweet and kind and funny, I've never met anyone like you."
As he spoke, Sydney's eyes filled with tears. She was deeply touched by his beautiful words, even her most elaborate fantasies hadn't come close to the feeling she had now, gazing into his emotion-filled eyes and feeling him gazing back into hers.
Finally finding her voice, Sydney spoke. "So, do you think there's a chance that there's a part of the dream I don't have to let go of?" Vaughn smiled. "I think there just might be."
An hour or so later, Vaughn sat on Sydney's bed next to her, one arm around her shoulders protectively holding her close. She was under the covers and propped up against the pillows. Her hands were in her lap, holding Vaughn's free hand between her own. Since they were now being completely honest with each other, neither had been able to stop talking for the past hour. They had a lot to talk about after the breakthrough in their relationship, and their first kiss had been a second breakthrough, which prompted more talk about their feelings for each other.
They both looked up as the door clicked open, and Vaughn moved uneasily back into the chair, secretly worried that their visitor would be Jack Bristow. He was relieved to see a young blond doctor entered, a specialist who had checked on Sydney once a week during her coma and was now fascinated by her miraculous recovery. One look at Sydney, however, spun his emotions around inside him, and turned his thoughts upside down. She was pressed back as far as she could get into the pillows, her eyes screwed shut and a look of pure terror on her face. She shook her head vigorously, repeating in a whisper the words "Just a dream, it was just a dream."
Vaughn was on his feet immediately, prying her hands away from her face and gently soothing her with whispered words of adoration and comfort.
"Syd, it's okay. Shhh. He won't hurt you, I promise. He's a specialist, he's been checking on you every week."
"No," she said in a low, dangerous voice. "He is not touching me."
"Sydney, please let me help you," the doctor stepped forward but Sydney put her hands over her ears to block out his voice, his accent unmistakable. "I'm Dr. Sark -"
"You're not him. Not him. Just a dream." Sydney's frantic muttering stopped him mid-sentence.
"Wait a minute," Vaughn ordered, putting out his hand to stop Dr. Sark moving any nearer as he finally understood. "Sydney. Syd, look at me. Dr. Sark was in your dream?" she nodded. "You don't have to see him today, but only if you tell me why you don't want to. Then we can get past it together. Do we have a deal?"
She looked at him suspiciously for a second, and instantly saw that she could trust him to keep his word. "Okay," she nodded, in a small voice.
"Okay," he said pulling her to him again and kissing the top of her head. She cried quietly against his shoulder and he rocked her slowly, pleased and grateful that he seemed to be able to console her when she needed it. When they pulled apart and leant back against the headboard again, Sark was gone.
"I wish I could just get past all this," Sydney sighed as she wiped the last few tears from her eyes.
"You will. *We* will. Sydney, what did he do to you?" Vaughn broached the subject nervously, not wanting to upset her again. But Sydney had calmed down considerably, and was now thinking rationally again.
When she had told him every last detail of Sark's involvement in her dream, she felt much better. She hadn't focused much on him when she told Vaughn and Jack about her dream, somehow thinking that he didn't really matter as much as Sloane or Irina. But now she realised that she had been scared of his power too, and it felt good to get that fear out into the open.
"I really don't know why I got so scared," she said with a hollow laugh, attempting to make light of the situation.
"I do," Vaughn replied quietly. She smiled at him. "You're trying to let go of everything that's happened to you - well *almost* everything -" he paused to grin at her. "And Sark reminded you of everything you're trying to move past. You just got scared that you weren't away from it all yet. Look, Syd, I know you don't want to see him, but I think it will help you move on. If you're really adamant that you won't, then I'll arrange for someone else to take over, but I think it's best for you to get it over with."
"How come you're so understanding?" she smiled at him, then sighed before continuing. "You're right though, I need to just face him and move on with my life."
"Right. And since you're skipping your appointment with Dr. Sark, we now have an extra half hour to ourselves. What do you think we should do?" he grinned mischievously at her. But she returned his look with a raised eyebrow.
"We're in a hospital room. I think we should wait until I'm out of here until we, uh, get to know each other better," she said, with amusement.
"Hey, who said anything about that? I was going to say, it's about time I beat you at *something*, and since Monopoly seems to be your game, I suggest we play cards."
"Michael!" she hit him playfully on the arm and laughed when he produced a pack of cards from the box by her bed.
"Well, if it helps, I liked your idea a lot more but it's kind of impractical, as you so rightly pointed out." He grinned again, and she rolled her eyes and laughed as he began to deal the cards.
TBC.....