The Good Ole Days

by Micro-Chick

The new generation of Hogwarts students wreeak havoc on Slytherin House. With the appearance of wooden ducks, hair dye, pranks galore, and mashed potato volcanoes, Slytherin House will never be the same again.

2. The Great Utensil Fight

"The Good Ole' Days"

Once in a while, the Slytherins would venture out from their normal habitat pranking and being hyper to no extent in the Slytherin House and unleash their wrath on the poor, unsuspecting "normal people" of Hogwarts.  Today was one of those days.

Cien Mashuga, one of the resident Vampires, stormed into the Great Hall and seated herself at the Slytherin Table pouting.  It seemed her friend Clow had left without telling her. "Clow left and she didn't even tell me." She glared at a nearby piece of fruit.

Meg handed Cien and butter knife and an apple "Kill it. You'll feel much better."

Although killing an apple was not really possible.

Grace Mix had better words of wisdom.  "Hello all... I'm off to the kitchens for the moment!" and just like that, she was gone.  Interesting thing, this magic.

Kittie decided to take a more normal approach though Cien seemed to have made her mind up in favor of the apple – well, not really favor...  "Well...she said she should be back...you can yell at her then, Cien." Kittie yawned, flopping in her seat.

" Hey Kit," Meg greeted her.

"Hiya, Meggers."

Grace, not one for standing and chatting re-appeared.  Just like that.  Wow.  "Ok I'm back fully fed. Yum everything was great. Off to the dorm for now!" …and yes, she went.  Amazing isn't it?

"I'm never a morning person." Kittie yawned again. She gave a small wave to Grace who was, by then, long gone.

Cien grabbed the apple and the knife. "Thank you, Meg," she said calmly. She then picked up the apple and began stabbing it. "Didn't. Even. Say. Bye."

Meg moved a couple of inches away so as not to get stabbed herself.

Kittie gaped in horror.

Jasmine Snow (on a visit to the school – In reality she was an Unsorted, but… lets stick to canon for now) sighed. "I don't even think I can go to the dance or ball they might have since I am not sorted."

She gave a slight growl before proceeding to take a banana and beating it slightly against the table.  It seemed the fruit was the new way to take out your anger.

Kittie nudged Jazzy. "We'll smuggle ya in."

Cien continued to stab the apple. "Sure. You. will." She looked up and grinned at Jasmine. "I don't think we've been properly introduced yet, Cien Mashuga." She held out her hand.

Grace re-appeared (and the author got sick of saying that) "Well since we are mutilating fruit over here I guess I need to help!" She picked up an orange and a fork, "DIE ORANGE DIE!" The orange proceeded to shot juice everywhere except on Gracie thanks to a little repelling spell and managed to hit Meg full blast.  "Oh fun! Juice fight!"

Jasmine shook Cien's hand. "And I am Jasmine Snow. Delighted to meet you."

"I still need a dress..." Meg said thoughtfully.  Followed by, "Gracie! Your going to pay for that." She wiped the juice off her face and took a banana.  She peeled it and proceeded to squash the banana in Grace's hair.

"There I feel much better."

Cien would have laughed had she not been intent on killing the poor, defenseless, apple. 

"We don't even know when the thing is! You guys already have your dresses?" Kittie asked.

"Oh! I never told you! I got my dress." Cien went back to stabbing the apple.

Kittie's extremely slow reactions finally kicked in.  She folded her arms on the table and propped her chin up with them. She shot up again as juice went into her eye. "I CAN'T SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Jazzy looked at herself... "Orange...." She picked some pancakes with syrup on it and smashes it into Grace's face. "Muahahah!"

Cien blinked as oranges were thrown back and forth. "She left without telling me!!!!!" She then went back to stabbing the apple.  Cien has a one-track mind.

Kittie for a napkin, completely blinded by the juice.  Meg handed her one, or, she would have, had Cien not pushed her hand away at the last second and handed a piece of cheese to Kittie instead.  Meg fought to hide her giggles.

Kittie dabbed the cheese against her eye and stopped. "Oh, you guys are sick."

Jazzy started to point and laugh at the scene and ducked as a flying spork came through.  Which was random, to say the least.  Meg laughed "Here." Meg took the cheese from Kittie and handed her a napkin.

"Ohhh that was evil Meg, giving Kittie cheese..." Cien tutted, picked up the mutilated apple and twirled it on her finger before throwing it in a random direction. It hit a Gryffindor on the back of the head. "SCORE!"

Kittie dried her eye with a napkin. "Thank you, Meg." She said, throwing a spork at Jazzy and Cien.

Jaz cheered, "Whoo! Go Cien! And suuure...Meg was evil for giving Kittie cheese." She grinned.

"Me?!" Meg yelled. "Nice aim."

"Heh, being a chaser pays off." Cien ducked the spork and threw a FOON at Kittie.

Kittie caught the SPORK in her mouth and threw it down on the table. "Hit another!"

Cien and Kittie had begun the war that was threatening to appear.  It seems that ever since the two girls had sat at the table a while back they would argue none stop about whether Foon's or Spork's were better.  Everyone else just took it in their stride when the two girls started, after all, it was pretty normal compared to the Common Room mascot Diputs.

"I don't think Grace noticed the pancake on her face." Jaz wiped her hands off in a napkin and was hit on the head by a Spork. Jasmine grabbed some chopsticks and threw it at Kittie.

"CHOPSTICKS!" Cien started laughing. "Hani nashi o kome, Kittie!"

She then grinned, picking up two FOONS and laying them on the table with an orange slice in each one. "Ready... aim... FIRE!" She pulled the FOON tops back flicking the orange pieces at Kittie.

" I dont think anyone in history has ever had a utensil fight before..." Meg commented (thus giving the author a title for this chapter).

Kittie yelled, ""MEEP©!" as she was hit in the forehead with a chopstick, and she pounced on Jazzy.

Thing began to get weird.  Jazzy was pounced! "Argh!" Jaz snatched a secret weapon in her robes.  And began to playfully beat Kittie with a tyop on her forehead, the sheer Horror!

"Tyops!! I'm being ambushed!" She yelled, dodging orange slices from FRENCH SPORKS.

Meg watched the crazy people and moved away slightly.  Cien laughed as Jaz and Kittie fought. She picked up her CHINESE FOONS and made them dance across the table.

"Muahwhaha!" Jaz grinned evilly and chucked more tyops at everyone. "Well, I gotta go, but I'll be back in a bit. Bye Kittie, Meg, and Cien."

Jasmine ducked several sporks and orange slices as she ran. Jaz stopped for a second to throw some ITALIAN CHOPSTICKS.

"Ok, hold it!" Cien stopped Kittie. "We need to settle this spork/foon and French/Chinese argument out." She stood up. "Lets go bug some other house tables."

Meg blinked.  "And that's gonna settle it how?"

"Works for me." Kittie shrugged, throwing a spork at Jazzy as she left. "Byes, pal!"

They left to torment the Gryffindor table, where the late Gryffindor, Joe Piallest, decided that Italian was the best.

***

Cien skided onto the scene and sat down at the Ravenclaw table. "Chinese!" She exclaimed, out of breath.

Meg sits down at the table 'Italian.' She says while smiling at the Ravenclaws around her.

"I thought we established Italian won?" Kittie said, coming from the Gryffindor table. "But, just for the record: French."

Meg patted Kit on the back "It's ok. It's not my fault that Joe was Italian."

"Gryffindors like Italian." Cien stated, waiting for the Ravenclaws to get out of the shock that three Slytherins had joined them. "But obviously, Ravenclaws are smarter and will pick Chinese."

"In your dreams," Meg muttered to herself.

"Is Seb," Cien finished for Meg, grinning.

"Oy, howzabout I give you two sporks so yous can duke it out?" Kittie asked with a grin.

Meg laughed "You win." She turned back to the Ravens "ARE YOU IN THERE?!" She said to one who was just staring.

And, surprisingly enough, then there was life!

Caitlyn smiled at the antics of the Slytherins. "Well, I'm going to have to go with Italian," Cait says before she ducks...better be safe than sorry!

Starmia bounced onto the Ravenclaw Table looking a little flustered. Her eyebrows raised, "What on earth are you guys doing over here? I've just been to the Slyth table and found it empty!"

"Victory!" yelled Meg.  "Hey Starm, We're having a little debaty thing."

Cait let out a sigh of relief. It seems she gave the right answer.

"Uh... Yeah... 'Italian' is Ravenclaw speak for 'Chinese'." Cien nodded. "HA! I WIN!"

"No, Cien. I WIN!" Meg did a victory dance.

Kittie shook her head. "I'm going back to Slytherin's Table. You guys are scaring me."

Cien stuck her tongue out at Meg and got up, walking to the Slyth table. She returned a few seconds later and handed Caitlyn a complimentary FOON.

Caitlyn waved at the retreating Slytherins.  Looking at the Foon, Caitlyn tries to hide her large smile, and just says, "Thank you!"

Meg beamed at Cait.  "Thanks for your time."

Cien walked over. Still throwing dark looks at Meg. "'Italian' is Ravenclaw speak for 'Chinese' I tell you!"

"Ok...if you say so. "

Josh was still confused at what had just happened. He walked over to the Slytherin table and sat down, asking, "Okay, now what exactly was that about over there? Not that I'm complaining or insulting you or anything like that, though."

Kittie flops on her chair again, grabs a spoon, scoops some mashed potatoes and flicks it at the ceiling.

"A little debate: French or Chinese," Meg replied.

Starmia had followed everyone back to the Slytherin table and she sat down, staring at the male Ravenclaw, "Ain't it cute how he adds on the fact that he isn't trying to insult us? He just has to make sure we know he's not here to cause trouble. Awww."
She grinned.

"Eh, I'm American, so I'd have to say Chinese over French," Josh said, and watched the mashed potatoes stick to the ceiling. "Is there the same checking to see if it's done rule as pasta?" Josh asked. "If so, we can say the potatoes are done."

"Agh....the last thing a guy wants to hear is how cuuuttte they are, they'd rather hear about how they're rugged and tough."

Unfortunately, when in the company of Slytherin girls, that never seemed to happen.

Kittie, seemingly oblivious to the world, adds some more mashed potatoes to the ceiling, before grabbing some carrot people, decapitating them and chucking them up there too.

Starmia smiled again, "I was trying to be patronizing incase you hadn't noticed." She leant forward and put her head in her hands,
"So... Chinese, French or Italian?"

"Chinese!" Cien jumped up, and danced. "Woohoo! I win!" She sat back down and picked up her Foon. "Now, Ravenclaw-man-who-likes-chinese-over-french-and-has-an-imposible-number-of-dashes-in-him-new-name-I've-just-made-up. Foon or Spork?"

"Starm, there is no Italian. I pulled out of the debate." Meg pointed out.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Josh said sarcastically to Starmia. He turned to Cien, saying, "Well, no offense to the foon people, but I like the name spork better than foon."

Bored because of the lack of participation at the Ravenclaw table, Caitlyn decided to wander over (with her Foon). Looking at the concoction (i.e. mess) Kittie was making, Caitlyn's eyes become large. "Is that what they serve you over here? We don't even get potatoes or carrots...what a gip!"

Starmia looked at the girl, "We think Lucius pulled us a few strings with the kitchen elves..."
She gave a wink.

If only the Gutter was still around at that point…

"Yeah. Why do you get that stuff, while we're over there, choking down bread and white rice?"

"We're special." Meg grinned.

"Because we're Slytherins," Cien stated simply, "Duh."

"We're Slytherins." Starmia corrected.

"Of course. How could I not know that answer?"

Cait nods her head accepting her fate to live on coffee and scones and the occasional rice, while she was here. It was too bad, there wasn't as many Ravenclaw alumni who had such a power as Mr. Malfoy. Hearing Josh's comment, she slaps him lightly before saying, "No...Foon sounds better. More like Fool or Baffoon!"

Starmia winked at Cien,
"Great minds think alike."

Once again, Kittie's late reactions had taken their time.  She pounced on Josh suddenly. "Sporks rule! One battle one!" She stuck her tongue out at Cien.  All that was heard from the Ravenclaw was a muffled "Argh! Help, people, I really can't breathe here!" No one paid it any attention.

"So you get Parker.  Well I get..." Cien trailed off and turned to the Ravenclaw girl. "What's your name?" She whispered. "You know. People should wear badges around here. 'I am Fred.' or 'I am Bill.' no, wait! 'I am Bob'." She snickered.

Starmia started throwing an orange in the air and catch it again like a baseball. She glanced at the 'Claws,
"You two got dates for the Summer Ball yet?"

"Don't embarrass them Starm, they're probably still trying to confess their undying love to each other." She nodded. "I've seen them sit at the same table..."

Kittie pinched Josh's cheek. "Awwww...Am I suffocating the cute wittle Ravenclaw?" She smirked.

"BOB!" Meg glomped Cien.  "YOU SAID BOB!"

"Oh, sorry. It's Caitlyn...but that seems to be too long to write so most people shorten it to Cait. Nice to meet you...Bob." Turning to Starmia, "Unfortunately not...there are just not enough single guys around here."

Starmia snickered at Cien,
"It sucks. I can't find anyone. The Baron sent me an owl this morning though and asked me."

"Maybe you are, maybe you're not," Josh said. "Anyway, I don't have a date for the ball yet, and why are you asking me that anyway? And me and Caitlyn are just friends anyway."

"That's right...in reality; Josh is just scared of me, and has to act friendly-like. He's afraid I'll tell Spikey where his axe is again," Cait said with a mischievous smile as she watched Josh put the moves on the Slytherin ladies.

Or at least, what the Ravenclaws believed were moves.  The Slytherins knew better.

Kittie jumped off Josh and flopped on her chair again. "It's not a summer ball, people! If we're having one at all, it'll be a Valentines day one. It's January!"

Starmia shrugged, "I haven't decided yet. It'd be kinda fun I suppose." She smirked at Josh, "Me thinks that lil' Joshie here wants a green and silver girlie on his blue arm..."

"Axe?" Meg blinked.

"Yeah....he has an axe, and I'm afraid he'll hack me apart while I'm sleeping," Josh said.

"We have some people with weapons too..." Cien looked over at Kittie and grinned.

"Oy! Mr. Dagger and Mrs. Whips and Chains aren't weapons!!!" She petted her dagger. "They're friends."

Starmia caught Cien talking about Slytherin girls with weapons. She pointed slyly at the handcuffs on her belt, "I think there are more girls with weapons than there are guys..."

"Yes Kittie. Just friends." Cien raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Scary Cien… Bob," remarked Caitlyn, the remark sailing across her head.  "Bob?" Cien blinked then conjured up a Slytherin Green Stickie™ which she stuck to her robes reading; "I am NOT Bob."

"We don't even have a solid date for the ball thingie!" Kittie pointed out, as everyone began to talk about dresses.

"Yup, but it still doesn't stop you from taking part in the Hogwar-lympic game I created."

Meg smiled.  ""I would like to thank my parents for being jerks and not letting me do anything. And i would like to thank my boredom as well."

"Hogwar-lympics??" Asked Cait, before Josh burst in with: "Aw......and here I wanted to have my hair flash different colors every thirty seconds or so."

Cien waved her Foon. "Slytherins are more inventive than that, Mr. Ravenclaw."  She paused a second.  "Oh, I made up an event for Slyths without dates." Cien shrugged towards Caitlyn.

"Well, Josh, if you insist..." Kittie waved her wand and the Ravenclaw's hair turned a brilliant pink before flashing neon yellow and back again.

"So what do they do, Cien?"

"I would like to retract my previous statement." Cien grinned at Kittie. "Some Slyths are." Cien looked back at Caitlyn. "Easy. Steal other peoples dates. Bonus points if he likes you better than his date. Gazibillion points if he's gay."

"Haven't found a dress... Haven't really found a date... Although I should probably just go with the Baron," said Starmia.

"Yay! My hair changes colors, I'm so happy!" Josh exclaimed, unknowing that the Slytherin girls liked pranks, and could do a lot better than that.

"You asked him yet?" Starmia asked Meg casually.  She idly flicked her wand at Josh's hair and it began to grow in length at a rapid rate before quickly shrinking back, then growing again.
She laughed.

"Um… not exactly...He hasn't been around..."

"Whoo!" Kittie laughed, ruffling Josh's hair. "You're right up there with SB now."  (If you don't know what SB stands for, you never will, as the author isn't going to explain.)

Cien laughed, finally deciding to join in with Kit and Starm, "Smile Josh." She grinned as each one o his teeth flashed different colours.

"Eh....not yet, I need the makeup and nail polish to be an equal with Joe right now. Whoa, wait a second, do whatever you want with the hair, but don't mess with my teeth." Josh said the counter spell and his teeth were normal again.

Starmia flicked her wand again, and Josh's face became awash with over the top makeup. She grinned, "You look gah-orgeous darling."

"The teeth stay." Cien growled and waved her wand again, this time locking the spell in place. "Try having Fangs for a day like me, flashing teeth are nothing compared to fangs."

"Do any of you have a mirror?" Josh then growled as his teeth started flashing again. "I'd rather have the fangs," he said.

Kittie gave up and crossed her arms. "Yep. Now we're just going to have to find pink robes to go with your hair for the ball, now."

Cien picked up her foon, again, bored. "Ok... funness, leaving... boredom, re-appearing... No-Sebbiness apearing..."

Meg picked up a clean plate and fanned Cien with it "Kit! We're losing her!"  Caitlyn decided that the Slytherins were mad, and left.  The Slytherins, who believed that Caitlyn was mad, never even noticed.

Starmia laughed at Meg. Then, turning her attention to poor Josh, she drew a large rectangle in the air with the tip of her wand. It quickly shimmered into a floating mirror, "There."

Kittie threw a spork at Cien.  Cien flashed her fangs at Josh. "Tough, they're mine." She picked up her foon and flicked it towards Kittie. "Ok... funness, re-appearing... boredom, disappearing... No-Sebbiness staying, but funness re-appearing!"

Kittie looked around and suddenly pounced on Starm. "When in doubt, pounce."

Cien poked Josh's lifeless body with a long stick. "Uh... I think we did one too many spells."

Starmia looked at Josh and grinned, "I think he's playing dead... I hope he's playing dead..."

Cien stood up and pointed her wand at Josh. "Mobilicorpus. I'll be right back. No ones tracing this death back to us."

Starmia nodded to Cien, "Can you imagine how many points we'd loose for a murder?!"

Slytherin were losing in House Points.

"Oh, I dunno.. I bet Lucius would find a way out of it for us." Cien nodded, smirking as she came back. "Dead body has been deposited at table."

Meg blinked.  "I just sat here. You all remember that." She nodded.

Cien raised her hand. "I vouch we all blame Meg!"

Sariss who had appeared five seconds earlier looked shifty. "Hey... I had nothing to do with this anyway. I'll just... yes! I'll go to Charms lessons!"

Sariss got up and half-ran out of the Great Hall.

Starmia watched Sar run, "Scaredy cat..."

Slowly, the Slytherins, now satisfied that they had annoyed and confused enough people for a while, drifted back to the Slytherin House to torment the Slytherins who had not joined them on this… "amazing" adventure.

***

Meanwhile…

Josh woke up. "Where the bloody heck am I?"

Athena looked confused as she took a seat at the Ravenclaw table, "Beats me. I don't even know what happened."

Josh blinked, flashing teeth, hair and different length hair included.  He couldn't remember a thing.  Maybe it was for the best.  Maybe.