Numb: An Emptiness In My Soul
2. The 'Circle Room'
By: Lady of the Mystics
Disclaimer: Usual ones apply.
AN: Originally, I wasn't going to post any more of this fic because people didn't like it. (Or so I thought.) However, the reviews that I got on it were so inspiring that I couldn't resist. Thank you very much-so Di, Mandee, and starkitty. You've been an inspiration.
March 2, 1984-
I had my baby today. She's so beautiful. I have named her Kalia, after her however-many-greats grandmother. She has her da's eyes, and my hair. My parents were there the whole time, supporting me all the way. The next day I woke up and there was this man in my room. He said he was an intern. Told me his name was James, and he'd see me later. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
-Jillian
I woke up at twelve, like always, and glanced around sadly. I'd been in the midst of that wonderful dream again. That dream which has haunted me as far back as I can remember.
Only this time it was dark out. I saw the icy-fire from the stars, and heard a beautiful voice singing something. I followed it, my feet crunching on the grass below me. I ended up in a clearing, where there was a huge bonfire lit. I realized the one voice I'd heard had actually been many.
They were all standing, joining hands. I stepped in and held out my own to be held. I could see faces, shadowed by the firelight. Then we walked around clockwise.....
And I woke up.
Downstairs I could heard my mom and dad speaking in hushed, urgent voices. Almost arguing. I couldn't tell what it was about, but it unnerved me. Never in my seventeen years had I heard them fight. I waited until I heard the front door bang, then got up.
I walked downstairs cautiously, my bare feet not making a sound. I glanced both ways at the bottom of the steps, then entered the kitchen. There was my mother, seated at the counter, crying silently.
"Mom? Mom what is it?"
She looked up startled. Her mocha eyes were rimmed with red. "Oh honey," She began, her voice cracking, "Daddy and I just... Daddy's mad at me."
"Why?" I asked. She seemed about to tell me something, then my mother closed off and said, "Oh, no reason really." I nodded and got a cup of coffee.
I drank it with tons of milk, similar to how we drank it when we lived in Florida. Then I left my mom, and went upstairs.
I took a nice, long bath in our bathroom. We only had one, so the weekend was really the only time I could linger in the bathroom.
Afterwards, with my wet hair clinging to me, and in nothing but a towel, I walked back into my room, and dug out all of my clothes. Let me tell you, that's a lot.
Skirts, dresses, pants, shorts, blouses, tank tops, halters. All of it I owned. I have a bit of a shopping fetish. What did one wear to a circle? I wanted to impress them, but not be overdressed. After arguing with the mirror for an hour I found the perfect outfit.
Fire-engine red capris made my blue eyes look electric, and a black poet's shirt flowed loosely around me, making the red in my hair stand out. I woke black chinese shoes with it, and did my hair in big, doll-like spiral curls.
To offset all this innocent appearance I did my make-up dramatically. When I finished I had Cleopatra eyes done in black, a bindi marked the center of my forehead, and my lips were a deep blood red. All the deep colors made my skin look ultra-pale. I made sure all my piercings were in too. I personally liked the effect.
I looked at the clock when I was done. It was two-fifteen. I had quite a few hours until Raven got here, so I decided to be productive and unpack some things.
Hours later Raven arrived in her beat up Puegeot. I pounded down the steps, and paused to watch my mother and father making up. I was glad. It was weird to have them fight. I shook my head and left the house.
Raven was waiting in her car, looking smashing in leather pants, and a red 'n black bustier. Very gutsy, I thought to myself.
"Hey," She said as I slid into the passenger seat.
"Hiya," I said in a babyish voice, "Like the look? I'm going for Shirley Temple on drugs."
Raven's lips twitched upward into the start of a smile. "You look like it," She said.
I noticed we were going into a part of the city I hadn't been through yet. "Where are we going?" I asked.
"Hunter's place," Raven answered. God it was hard to get information out of her.
"Who's that?"
"Our coven's leader, Morgan's boyfriend, and the one who's going to answer all of your questions. Plus, he's totally hot, so either way the circle turns out you won't regret coming."
"Oh. Too bad he's taken," I said after a pause.
Raven laughed and nodded enthusiastically, signalling her agreement.
I wondered what was going to happen.
"We're nearly a half-hour early so you should have enough time to ask questions," Raven informed me as we pulled into a gravel driveway.
A
second later we were being greeted by a tall, hot, blond man at the door. Now I say 'hot' in a most im·¶ personal manner. He's not my type, but he is decidedly hot.
"Hunter," Raven began, "This is Kalia. She has some questions for you." Ah, Raven. Always the tactful one, aren't you? I thought to myself. "Kalia," Raven said again, "This is Hunter. He'e the guy I told you about." I nodded, showing that I understood. "Now, ask away. I'm going to get something to drink," Raven informed us and disappeared.
Hunter offered his hand to shake and a smile. "Hi, I'm Hunter." I took his hand in my own and gave it a good, firm shake. "Kalia Dennings. It's nice to meet you," I said and smiled shyly.
"So, you have some questions." Hunter prompted. "Uh... yes," I said wittily (not) and paused to collect my thoughts.
"Explain to me about what I'm going to participate in. Let's start there," I said finally.
"Okay, well at a circle we usually start by drawing a circle of chalk, then put out the representatives of the elements, after that we walk deasil-"
I didn't know what 'deasil' was, so I cut Hunter off and asked him. He told me it means clockwise. He resumed after that.
"Then we usually sit down, and talk about what we've been studying, how life is. That sort of thing."
"Oh. It sounds interesting," I said automatically. It sounded pretty tame. I was positive that this would be fun. The doorbell rang and Hunter excused himself to get it. In came the blond girl, who introduced herself as Jenna, and a guy who appeared to be her boyfriend. He said he was Simon Bakehouse. They both walked into the living room and Hunter returned his attention to me.
"Any more questions?" He asked.
"Yes, actually. What is Wicca precisely?"
"Wicca is the belief in both the God and the Goddess. The God is most often associated with the sun, and masculinity. The Goddess is associated with the moon, and feminity.
"It also honors nature, the turning of the seasons, and moon phases. It gives respect to the earth, air, water, and fire. Fire and air are considered masculine forces, and earth and water are considered feminine forces.
"Wicca is also the belief that we can use magick, gifted by the elements, God, and Goddess to help achieve goals. That's the gist of it at least." Hunter explained, pausing every once in awhile to think.
"Wow. That's a lot to remember. And that's just the beginning?" I said incredulously.
Hunter nodded solemnly.
"Well, it sounds cool. I can't wait to see how tonight goes." I said and smiled.
Just then the bell rang and I quietly excused myself to find Raven.
I walked into the kitchen to find Jenna and Simon, each having a cup of apple cider. No Raven present.
"Hey, have you guys seen Raven?" I asked, seemingly boldly for the 'new girl,' but really I was nervous.
Jenna and Simon both looked at me, but it was Jenna who answered. "No, I haven't. Sorry," She said. I nodded absently and walked out to go into the living room.
I bumped into a girl with black hair and preppy-ish clothes. "Sorry," I said immediately. "Hey, no problem. I know it gets a little crowded here. You're new, right?" She said with a good-natured smile. When I nodded she said, "Hi, I'm Sharon."
Just then a blond boy came up behind her. "This is Ethan," Sharon said, introducing him. "Hi," Ethan said. "Hi. I'm Kalia," I told them.
"Cool. By the way, nice tattoos," Ethan said. I briefly wondered how he knew I had tattoos, then remembered yesterday I had worn a tank top. Turning to Sharon he said, "We'd better get to the circle room." As she turned to walk away Sharon yelled, "Nice meeting you!"
Going into the living room I found Morgan talking with a brown-haired girl and a boy.
"Hey Morgan?" I called uncertainly. As she turned to me I saw surprise register in her eyes. "Kalia. What are you doing here?" She asked softly. Her two friends, obviously involved, trained their eyes on me.
"I was invited," I said stiffly. God, what was with her? Why did she feel the need to be so rude to me?
"Have you seen Raven?" I asked out loud.
"Um, no. I haven't," She replied.
Suddenly the other girl got up. "Hi. I'm Bree Warren," She extended her hand. "You must be Kalia Dennings. Everybody was talking about you yesterday." I shook her hand. "Yeah, I'm Kalia. Nice to meet you." She nodded and then the boy introduced himself.
"Hi. I'm Robbie. It's nice to meet you." He said and held out his hand. To be polite I shook it, but honestly I was getting really sick of all the handshaking. "You too," I said.
Then I heard someone clomping down the stairs. I turned and saw none other than the object of my search. "There you are!" Raven said once she spotted me, "I've been looking everywhere for you!"
I laughed. "Yeah, sure. I was looking for you."
"Sorry, but come on, we're about to start," Raven informed me and pulled me down the hallway and into a room I hadn't noticed before. It was circular. Must be the 'circle room,' I thought with a small laugh.
Morgan, Bree, and Robbie walked in behind us. I noticed that lots of other people were there as well. I was really starting to get nervous.
Raven led me to an open spot in the circle of people. I ended up between her and Hunter. He'd already drawn the chalk circle. Once everyone was in Hunter spoke.
"As you may have noticed, we have someone new here tonight. This is Kalia Dennings," He said, indicating me as he spoke. He asked everyone to introduce themselves. The faces and names got kind of jumbled in my head, so forgive me if I don't list them all.
Finally we got started. Hunter took out a bowl of salt and purified the circle. So far nothing traumatizing was going on. He then placed down an incense stick, a bowl of sand, a lit candle, and a cup of water.
I wondered what it represented. Raven explained that the incense represented air. The sand was to represent earth, the candle was for fire, and the water was.. well.. for water.
W
e all joined hands. Hunter's grip was strong, and his hand was warm and dry. Raven's long nails dug into my skin and made little half-moon ma·¶ rks. We walked clockwise, and I could feel something rising.;
It was like the tide rolling in or something as equally powerful and age-old. I felt something rising in myself, responding to the magick in the air. We walked at a steady pace, but to me it self like I was flying. I was starting to get dizzy, and I felt like someone had just gut-punched me.
Then abruptly we stopped. My hands were dropped, and the not-quite-pain I felt in my chest became unbearable. I saw Raven's puzzled eyes, and then darkness descended.
AN: HAHAHA! AM I NOT EVIL?? I LEFT IT ON A CLIFFIE. WHY AM I WRITING IN ALL CAPS? GOOD QUESTION. I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. WELL, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK THUS FAR BY REVIEWING. OR YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AT DARKK01@AOL.COM. AND NO, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE IN ALL CAPS. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING WHAT YOU THINK.