Out There [But not relating to that show on the N. This story was around before they even started advertising for the show]

Bren Eldrid Bera – Wow, it has been ages since I last updated this! This is going to be pretty Sci-Fi now! [Mainly because I'm insane] So that's cool! Degrassi gets it first science fiction fic! Did I mention AU? Yes, very AU too!

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If you don't have a soul, what happens when you die?

I could feel it approaching me, my inevitable death. I could have thought about my 'family', the few friends I still had, or anything. But that question that had haunted man for millions of years was plaguing my mind. What was going to happen to me when I died?

But I was different then all of the other people who had died before me. I wasn't Gavin, I wasn't Spinner, and I wasn't Tiffany. They were dead. They had lived years. I was only a few days old.

I was the remaining sane thought that still inhibited this soulless husk. Yeah, a thought, a muse if you will. Not an actual being- just something else. A parasite.

Like a space invader from one of those late night horror flicks. The ones where the monster looks more like your geometry teacher then any alien. I had taken over this body just like a line from a B-movie and whadda ya know, I was going to die in it soon too.

Hell my life, was it mine? -I still haven't determined that out yet- WAS pulp fiction. Some cheap production God had crapped on. Or else why would I die like this; in the fucking mud? Fucking mud.

And so I close my eyes. I prepare myself for death. In the mud, I, the thing that never should have existed, waited. I waited for something to happen...

~ Nothing's happening dipshit ~

You would think that I would just die right now. Whosever's' body this was –because it certainly wasn't mine- was in reality dead. The central nervous system was shot and most of my host's limbs were broken past repair. –And yes, I call this body my host now; not because of a lack of a better name, but because I think of myself as a parasite.

It didn't make sense though. When the host dies, the one infecting it goes 'down with the ship'. This usually happens immediately. For all that it was worth, my host was dead. But I am not dead. I am alive. No sense at all. ~ Why the hell am I alive? I WANT to die now more then ever ~

And then it hits me, the creature. Gavin/Spinner/Tiffany wasn't supposed to die here. I certainly could, I could see the bleedin' gates leading to the next world, but Gavin/Spinner/Tiffany wasn't. They, combined as a soul, were combating death.  ~ Somewhere else. G/S/T was supposed to die somewhere else. But where? ~

And so I, the parasite, thought for a moment. Where was G/S/T supposed to die? The hell if I knew. ~ Only one place to look ~ I searched through memories that were not mine. They technically belonged to the host I, the parasite, inhabited. But at least for the moment, I could call them my own. I had to hold on to something.

And I witnessed hell.

This thing I had colonized had lived a life of utter misery for eighteen years. A lot of the memories I saw now, I doubt the previous owner-who ever that might be- had known about. The drugs had suppressed them. From methylphenidate to thioridazine to citalopram, my host had been on it all since the age of 5.

And there were the beatings by his father at the age of eight and nine for playing with dolls, getting his hand crushed in a door for trying on his mother's clothing, the list was endless. There was an ongoing theme; pain, then a dormant time-if you will- of mental anguish, then more physical pain. The last four years seemed to have been particularly bad.

First the experimental affair he had had with a friend –Marco- towards the end of his ninth year; his father finding out and then the beatings. A year of figurative silence, then the cross-dressing, followed by the inevitable of his father finding out-and more beatings.

And then there was his relationship with Andrew Maverick.

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(Flashback: Three years – major pattern development!) [Gavin's POV]

It was unbelievable. He didn't know if this was real or if he was dreaming. He, Gavin Mason was at the coolest party ever! And Lacey was there too! And he was mingling with upperclassmen! And there was alcohol! This was going to be one wicked night.

Gavin had known it the moment Joey –Craig's stepfather— had dropped him, Marco, and Craig off. Music was blaring out of the speakers, people were dancing, and it was friggen awesome. Gavin wasn't sure where the others were. He had thought he had seen Craig head out to the back a little while earlier, and Marco- who knew? He didn't. He was having too much of a fun time to care about his comrades. But there was just one thing missing...

Lacey. He hadn't seen her all night. Gavin scanned the crowd for her. ~ Come on, I know she's here somewhere. It –is- her party after all. Stupid taller people ~ He had to stand on his tip-toes just to get a good viewing site. Lacey hadn't been kidding about the upperclassmen coming. He was beginning to think that he was the only person under 17 here.

~ No wait, what's that? ~ Gavin did a quick double take. He thought he had seen a flash of her trademark whitish/blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. ~ I KNOW that shade of blonde. It HAS to be her! ~ He started making his way across the crowded room. Where had she gone? To the back of the house? What was in the back? Food?

He was pretty hungry; Gavin hadn't had anything but a sandwich for lunch all day. He stood around for a bit, thinking about what to do. If there was food, he wanted in on the action. Finally, Gavin decided to just go and investigate. Climbing over an upturned chair, he continued his way across the house.

The music got louder the further back he went. ~Guess the speakers are in the back ~ The speakers were spitting out a fast beat with a loud thumping bass. The ?male? singer was blaring out seemingly random phrases in a high-pitched voice. Gavin couldn't understand what he was saying. He didn't recognize the song either. It sounded like a techno mix.  ~ I hate techno ~

After going around a crowd of people playing an indoor football game he finally reached what appeared to be a small den. As he stood in the open door frame, Gavin quickly searched the room, looking for any trace of the girl. The only thing he saw was a group of teens playing a card game-strip poker. "Where is that mysterious blonde?" Gavin muttered with a deep frown set in his face. ~ Wait, mysterious blonde? Didn't I use that phrase before? It wasn't with Lacey though... THAT GUY! ~

And just as if Gavin's thoughts had summoned him, 'that guy'-Andrew Maverick- suddenly appeared out of thin air. It was in one of the worst ways. Andrew was running straight at him gripping a football. But he was running blindly, like a chicken with its head cut off. Andrew's head was intact though, merely turned in the opposite direction he was running. Gavin noted he was leering at the guys who were chasing him.

Gavin tried to move out of the older teen's way, but he wasn't quick enough. Andrew roughly knocked into Gavin, sending him to the ground. The older teen, seemingly oblivious to the damage he had done to Gavin, continued running the few steps into the next room. A cheer rose from the crowd of people who had been playing the indoor football game. Andrew had apparently just scored a touchdown and the winning point.

But that did nothing for Gavin who was on the ground. The wind had been knocked out of him. This had happened countless times before to him on the soccer field, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it. But that wasn't anything compared to his ankle. It felt like it had been broken or something.

Gavin crawled away from the threat of being trampled and propped himself up against a wall. He watched with disgust at the guy who had caused this pain to him. His friends were cheering and patting the blonde youth on the back for his apparent victory. Nobody seemed to notice Gavin's quite suffering. Not even the tall blonde teen that had put Gavin into his painful position.

~ I'm gonna kill that guy. If he fucking broke my ankle and ruined my chances of making the high school soccer team, I swear I will kill him. ~ Gavin looked down to inspect the damage. He winced as he checked his tender limb with his fingers. ~ Probably fractured. ~

Gavin looked back up at the crowd of celebrating upperclassmen. He saw the older blonde youth. Andrew was still surrounded by a group of admires. But it was the oddest thing; Andrew was indifferent to all of them. He was staring off into space, as if he didn't care.

Gavin frowned at his new enemy. ~ Die Andrew Maverick, DIE ~

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(Same party, Marco's POV)

The party blew ass. He kind of knew it would. The music sucked, people were being jerks, and that girl... she kept stalking him. He didn't know her name, but she was stalking him none the less. It had been like this all week at school. Everywhere he went, there she was. Marco tried to avoid her, but to no avail. And then here she was at the party continuing her sick little game of hide-and-seek. Hell, Marco bet that if he went into the john, the chic would probably follow. ~ Time to test my theory ~

Marco opened the door to what he presumed was the bathroom, and found he was correct. He closed the door and locked it. The music became quieter by a tenfold. Marco sighed and leaned against the wall. The bathroom was painted a dark green with tan fixtures. It was a dark, but calm place. Marco felt right a home.

~ What the hell am I doing here anyway? I knew I wouldn't enjoy it. Shouda stayed home and tried to figure out some of that geometry Ms. Z had assigned. But then Spin-Gavin would have been disappointed. ~

Marco sighed again and walked across the bathroom to sit on the edge of the tub. "Wouldn't want to make Gavin upset." He had had this-crush-on Gavin since the end of last year. He thought it would go away, because really? Gavin? But it hadn't.

They had experimented at the end of last year, Gavin not knowing that Marco really was gay- and by that time Marco had known. But they had stopped when summer came and Gavin had been in Chicago anyway. "Damn it." Marco said softly. "Why the hell did it have to be Gavin?" Sure, he was attracted to different boys, but it was Gavin who had his heart.

There was a knock on the door, startling Marco out of his thoughts.

"What?" He had to half shout. It was quite in here, but outside the music was blaring full blast.

"Open up!" a voice shouted back.

It was probably that girl, come to stalk him again. He knew what those types wanted. Marco had gotten enough of that at his old school. It was when he was still trying to prove to himself that he didn't like guys. Marco had recklessly pursued after countless girls and would dump them once he got 'bored'.  Hell, he had nearly gotten himself in trouble more then once. But he didn't do that anymore. Besides, he didn't 'swing that way' either.

The knocking continued.

"Damn it!" He cursed softly. What if it wasn't that girl? What if it was someone who honestly needed to use the john? Marco didn't like having people suffer on account of him. He wasn't like that anymore. He was a 'nice guy' now.

Marco got off the tub and walked across the forest-colored tiles of the bathroom. He opened the door – and there was the girl. ~ Stupid idiot! ~

She smiled when she saw she had gotten her way. "So Marco, what are you doin' in here?" she purred and shifted her hips ever 'so'. She was trying to show off her figure – and Marco could admit it was fine – to him. But it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted the tall, muscular frame belonging to a certain soccer player.

Marco backed up and tried to quickly shut the door. She frowned and in a very unladylike fashion, shoved her foot in between the door and the frame. Marco hadn't noticed her last action closed the door on her foot.

She yelped out in pain. Marco swiftly opened the door. ~ Shit, did I hurt her? ~ Apparently not, because the next thing he knew, she had pushed herself into the bathroom with Marco and had shut the door. He stumbled back and nearly tripped. ~ Damn, she is pretty strong! Wouldn't have expected it for a girl with that build- no, wait! What the hell am I saying? This bitch is horny for you, dude! Poor girl... ~

He tried to regain his composure and figure out what to do before something _bad_ happened. "So..." Marco started out slowly. "What's happening?"

The girl grinned and walked towards him, forcing Marco to walk blindly backwards. She stopped, he stopped. The girl frowned. ~ Maybe she's getting the hint-nope. ~ She prowled-it was an honest to god prowl if Marco ever saw one-towards him, forcing Marco to either stand his ground and rub pelvis to pelvis with this crazy chic or end up in the tub. Marco chose the tub.

It seemed the girl really was getting it now. "What the heck is your problem?" she asked, slightly ruffled. (A/N: like the potato chip!) "Here I am, practically offering myself to you and there you are in the friggen tub—" She stopped suddenly. "Oh." She had finally gotten it.

"Yeah- oh." Marco repeated. He climbed out of the tub, figuring it was safe now.

"Oh," She said again, only this time with more enthusiasm. If Marco didn't know any better, he would have said it was sexy. "I always wanted to try to turn a gay man straight. Come here—" She came at him again with open arms and her lips puckered.

"What?!" Marco asked in disbelief, his voice cracking in the most embarrassing fashion. "What the heck is your problem?" He started to back up again.

She stopped and smiled mischievously. Wagging a finger at him, "I'm just totally messing with you."

It was Marco's turn to say "Oh". He was more than extremely puzzled.

She held her hand out to Marco. He stared at it for a bit, wondering if it was some sort of trick. Finally, when he noticed the girl was starting to frown, he quickly clasped it and rapidly shook it.

"Hi," she said, drawing her hand away and putting both of them on her hips again. "We've never been properly introduced before and I've been trying all week-I knew you were gay the entire time by the way, I just like messing around with people-and I just wanted to say hi." She stopped for a moment as she saw the confused look on Marco's face.

"Who are you? Whada you want?" he asked suspiciously, raising his right eyebrow ever so slightly.

The She continued with a . "Here I am rambling one and you don't know a lick about me. Well, I have a business proposition for you. My name is Lacey by the way, Lacey Maverick."

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(Same Party, Craig's POV)

~ Screw this, I'm going home ~ Craig hadn't liked the party one bit since he had first walked in. No, truth be told, it wasn't then. Craig actually had been having fun for the first few hours, hanging out in the back smoking pot. It was when that jock had punched him in the face for hitting on his bimbo cheerleader girlfriend. THAT was when it had all gone down hill. ~ I am going to go home. To my real home. With Dad. ~

It was something he had been thinking of for the past few weeks. He missed his father real bad. It was like a part of him was missing. Sure, he hadn't like the entire –hateful- part, but that man was still his father.

The judge who had overseen the trial said that his father was only allowed to see Craig under another adult's supervision. ~ F-ing gay if you'd ask me. ~ But nobody had really ever asked him. ~ Yeah, like two minutes is really a lot of time to make that kind of decision. I am going to see my f-ing father. Nothing is going to f-ing stop me! ~

Well, maybe the fact that he was stoned and drunk beyond belief. ~ Knew I shouldna trusted those upperclassmen for a reason. ~ Craig's motor skills didn't seem to be working as well as they should. He had tripped over a few inanimate objects and even a few people. Hell, even his thoughts were slurred.

~ That doesn' mean that I shouldn' seem my dad. Screw whateva' the court has ta' say. This is my life, not some pansy judges'. It's not even Joeys. MY life.~ It was also why he was going to make this trip, this pilgrimage. Craig was fed up with other people making choices for him.

Under any other circumstance –such as being sober- Craig wouldn't be making this decision. But rational ideas had flown out the window when he had first set that joint onto his lips. He didn't care what Joey thought anymore. Craig had quietly given up on impressing his foster/step father.

 ~ Cha, and what exactly is Joey anyway? ~

His step-sister Angela's father; Craig's new paternal figure. That was about it. Craig had been living with Joey for about a year now and he still really didn't know much about him. ~ So this guy steps into my life, takes over, and expects me to be happy. Yeah. Right. What world are we living in? It sure isn't happy-happy bunny land. Stuff like that doesn't happen. ~ Craig quietly laughed at his fortune.

~ I WANT to be miserable. SOMETHING, ANYTHING. I WANT to feel emotions again. At least with Dad I knew pain. I FELT things. I understood my place in the god-awful world. ~ And with that final thought, all bets were off.

Craig Manning was going home to his father and this time he really meant it.

[Exeunt]

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Ta da! I updated! Mediocre at best, but at least it's an update! More to come... eventually!