Chapter 3: The Knights Separate, and the Tale of Lady Kailee
Author's Note: You're not reviewing! I hate it when authors hold their stories hostage, but I might just do that if I don't get some reviews! I apologize for this being shorter than some of the other chapters, but it's best to break the story off here.
Scene 7
[clack]
Voice: Boring yet. . .okay just boring film for schools, take eight.
Director (which also happens to be me!): Action!
Matt: Getting walloped by that livestock got Kim steamed. The ferocity of the taunting took her completely by surprise, and Kim became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Edi Lorka were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Kim, having discussed this with the Knights and Ladies, decided that they should separate and search for the Lorka individually. [clop clop clop] Now, this is what they did: Ron—
Knight: Aaaah!
[Knight thumps Matt with a flaming German workbook]
[Matt falls to ground]
Chelsea: [runs to Matt] Matt!
{AN: Since Matt got thumped, I'll explain what's going on: Kailee will check the north part of the school, Ron will check the west part, Monique will look in the south part, and Kim and Blaine will look in the east.}
Director: Hey, Matt, you okay?
****************************
Scene 8
[trumpets]
Madelynne: The Tale of Lady Kailee. So, each of the Knights went their separate ways. Lady Kailee rode through the dark, scary, desolate Agriculture wing, accompanied by her assistant Jimmy, who apparently has brought his CD collection.
Jimmy: [singing "Love, Salvation, The Fear of Death" by Sixpence None the Richer {AN: I don't own this either.}]
"Well I'm staring straight into the face of hell
You're so close and you can't even tell
I'm so wrapped up inside
Because I don't have much to love
Horrified I feel from pits unseen
Falling off my pedestal of plentiful deeds
As it crumbles down on top of me
I contemplate my lack of love
Come and save my soul
Before it's not too late
I'm not afraid to admit
How much I hate myself
All these gongs and cymbals ring inside my head"
Kailee: Um, yeah. Jimmy, you had to sing that?
Jimmy: Would you like me to pick a different song? [looks through his CDs] Here's one. How about "Don't Fear the Reaper?" {AN: I don't know who wrote or sang this, but I don't own it.}
Kailee: [to her fellow travelers] You think you could pick a happy song? Never mind. Keep your wits about you. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Kailee's assistant Jimmy: Well, it's not my feet. I just washed them! {AN: Yes, I admit to borrowing this from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, so get off my back already!}
***Kailee and Co. come across three students.
Three Students: Stop! Who are you?
Jimmy: [singing] She's brave Lady Kailee, brave Lady Kailee, who--
Kailee: Shut up! Um, n-- n-- n-- nobody really, I'm j-- j-- j-- ju-- just um, just passing through.
All Students: What do you want?
Jimmy: [singing] To fight and--
Kailee: [smacking Jimmy] Shut up! Um, oo, a-- nothing, nothing really. I, uh, j-- j-- just-- just to um, just to p-- pass through.
All Students: I don't think so!
Kailee: Ah. W-- well, actually I-- I am a Lady of the Medieval Club.
All Students: You're a Lady of the Medieval Club?
Kailee: I am.
Left Student: In that case, I shall have to kill you.
Middle Student: Should I?
Right Student: Oh, I don't think so.
Middle Student: Well, what do I think?
Left Student: I think kill her.
Right Student: Oh, let's be nice to her.
Left Student: Oh, shut up.
Kailee: Perhaps I could--
Left Student: And you. Oh, quick! Get the knife out. I want to cut her head off!
Right Student: Oh, cut your own head off!
Middle Student: Yes, do us all a favor!
Left Student: What?
Right Student: Yapping on all the time.
Middle Student: You're lucky. You're not next to him.
Left Student: What do you mean?
Middle Student: You spit when you talk!
Left Student: Oh, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath.
Middle Student: No I don't!
Right Student: Oh, stop whining and let's go have lunch.
Left Student: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill her first and then have a burger and soda.
Middle Student: Yes.
Right Student: Oh, not burgers.
Left Student: All right. All right, not burgers, but let's kill her anyway.
All Students: Right!
Middle Student: She buggered off.
Right Student: So she has.
***Kailee and Co. are now "riding" through a different hallway.
Jimmy: [singing] Brave Lady Kailee ran away,
Kailee: No!
Jimmy: [singing] Bravely ran away, away.
Kailee: I didn't!
Jimmy: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, she bravely turned her tail and fled.
Kailee: No!
Jimmy: [singing] Yes, brave Lady Kailee turned about
Kailee: I didn't!
Jimmy: [singing] And gallantly she chickened out. Bravely taking to her feet,
Kailee: I never did!
Jimmy: [singing] She beat a very brave retreat,
Kailee: All lies!
Jimmy: [singing] Bravest of the brave, Lady Kailee.
Kailee: I never!