Chapter 7: Back to Queen Kim and Sir Blaine, or, Reunited (And it Feels So Good)
Mewberries: Don't forget what you really can't hear: "Oh, he fell a long, long way/But he's here with us today/ Oh, what a wonderful escape!" Now picture that to a techno beat...I guess I forgot that part. We all know SSJ's all for techno music.
Scene 16
[Kim music] [clop clop clop] [rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! {AN: What are a bunch of cats doing here?}]
Kim: Mr. School Gardener! [rewr!] [music stops] Is there anywhere in this school where we could get a shrubbery?
[dramatic chord]
School Gardener: Who sent you?
Kim: The Knights of Shore.
Gardener: Aggh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
Kim: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say... we will say... 'Hey Bu-uddy'.
Gardener: Agh! Do your worst!
Kim: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,... Hey Bu-uddy!
Gardener: No! Never! No shrubberies!
Kim: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Gardener: [cough]
Blaine: Hey buddy!!
Kim: No, no, no, no, bu-u--
Blaine: Hey Buddy!
Kim: No, it's not that. It's 'Hey Bu-uddy'.
Blaine: Hey Buddy!
Kim: No, no. 'Hey Bu-uddy!'. You're not doing it properly. No.
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim and Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim: That's it. That's it. You've got it.
Kim and Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Gardener: Ohh!
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Gardener: Agh!
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Frank the Shrubber: Are you saying 'Hey Bu-uddy' to that old gardener?
Kim: Erm,... yes.
Frank: Oh, what sad times these are when passing thugs can say 'Hey Bu-uddy' at will to school gardeners. This generation is in big trouble. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Kim: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
Frank: Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Frank the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies to schools.
Blaine: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Kim: No! No, no, no! No!
****************************
Scene 17
Kim: O Knights of Shore, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
Head Knight: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly,... but there is one small problem.
Kim: What is that?
Head Knight: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Hey Bu-uddy'.
Knights of Shore: Hey Bu-uddy!! Shh!
Head Knight: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'. {That is such a great word, I had to leave it in! For another matter, how can I even attempt to improve this scene?}
Random: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Head Knight: Therefore, we must give you a test.
Kim: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights who till recently said 'Hey Bu-uddy'?
Head Knight: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
Kim: Not another shrubbery!
Random: Hey Bu-uddy!!
Head Knight: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
Knights of Shore: A path! A path! A path! Hey Bu-uddy!! Shh! Hey Bu-uddy!! Hey Bu-uddy!! Hey Bu-uddy!! Shh! Shh!...
Head Knight: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
[dramatic chord]
Knights of Shore: A herring!
Kim: We shall do no such thing!
Head Knight: Oh, please!
Kim: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
Head Knight: Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word.
Kim: What word?
Head Knight: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Shore cannot hear.
Kim: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh!
Head Knight: You said it again!
Kim: What, 'is'?
Knights of Shore: Agh! No, not 'is'.
Head Knight: No, not 'is'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'.
Knights of Shore: No, not 'is'. Not 'is'.
Blaine: My liege, it's Lady Kailee!
Jimmy: [singing] Packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and running toward home,
Yes, bravely she is throwing in the sponge.
Kim: Lady Kailee!
Kailee: My liege! It's good to see you.
Head Knight: Now she's said the word!
Kim: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Edi Lorka?
Jimmy: [singing] She is sneaking away and buggering off--
Kailee: Shut up! No, no. No. Far from it.
Head Knight: He said the word again!
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh!
Kailee: I was looking for it.
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh!
Kailee: Uh, here-- here in this hall.
Kim: No, it is far from here.
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh!
Head Knight: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! The word...
Kim: Oh, stop it!
Knights of Shore: ...we cannot hear!
Head Knight: Ow! He said it again! Wait! I said it! I said it! [clop clop clop] Ooh! I said it again! And there again! That's three 'it's! Ohh!
Knights of Shore: Aaaaugh!
****************************
Narrative Interlude
Madelynne: And so, Kim and Blaine and Sir Kailee set out on their search to find the weird guy of whom the Old Man had spoken in scene twenty-four. Beyond the forest, they met Ron and Monique, and there was much rejoicing.
Knights: Yay! Yay!
[woosh]
Madelynne: In the frozen land of the football field, they were forced to eat Kailee's assistant Jimmy. Why? Because I found out he was the one who thumped me a few scenes back. I told you I would find out!
Jimmy: [high-pitched] Get back! Eee!
Madelynne: And there was much rejoicing.
Knights: Yippee!
Madelynne: A year passed. [cartoon of seasons changing] Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter,... ...and Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. Until one day...