Chapter 9: The Bridge of Death
Thanks again to my loyal reviewers...
Scene 21
***The Bridge of Death over the Gorge of Disco Music.
["Car Wash" by Rose Royce {AN: Which, may I add, I do not own!} plays softly in background, mixed with horrendous screaming.]
Monique: There it is!
Kim: The Bridge of Death!
Kailee: Oh, great.
Kim: Look! There's the Old Man from scene twenty-four!
Blaine: What is he doing here?
Kim: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveler five questions--
Monique: Three questions.
Kim: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
Monique: Three questions.
Kim: Three questions may cross in safety.
Kailee: What if you get a question wrong?
Kim: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Disco Music.
Kailee: Oh, I won't go.
Monique: Who's going to answer the questions?
Kim: Lady Kailee!
Kailee: Yes?
Kim: Brave Lady Kailee, you go.
Kailee: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Ron go?
Ron: Yes. Let me go, Kim. I will take him all by myself. What I'll do is fake left, and then right, then crawl--
Kim: No, no. No. Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Just answer the five questions--
Monique: Three questions.
Kim: Three questions as best you can, and we shall watch... and pray.
Ron: Got it, Kim.
Kim: Good luck, brave Sir Ron. God be with you.
Bridge Keeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Ron: Ask me the questions, Bridge Keeper. I am not afraid.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your name?
Ron: My name is 'Sir Ron of Camelot'.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your quest?
Ron: To seek the Edi Lorka.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Ron: Blue.
Bridge Keeper: Right. Off you go.
Ron: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Kailee: That's easy!
Bridge Keeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Kailee: Ask me the questions, Bridge Keeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your name?
Kailee: 'Lady Kailee of Camelot'.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your quest?
Kailee: To seek the Edi Lorka.
Bridge Keeper: What... is the capital of Lichtenstein?
[pause]
Kailee: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! [Kailee is thrown in {AN: When someone is thrown in, the volume of the disco music is raised a bit so you can hear it better.}]
Kim: Isn't it Vaduz? {AN: That is a homage to Rocinante's "Life With Kim," Chapter 8. Read it, but read its prequel first, "Anything is Possible"}
Bridge Keeper: Stop! What... is your name?
Monique: 'Lady Monique of Camelot'.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your quest?
Monique: I'm helping Kim seek the Lorka.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Monique: Blue. No, yel-- auuuuuuuugh! [Monique is thrown in]
Kim: [as Monique is tossed over] Moooooooooniiiiiiiiiiiiiquuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeee!
Bridge Keeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
Kim: It is 'Kim', Queen of the Medieval Club.
Bridge Keeper: What... is your quest?
Kim: To seek the Edi Lorka.
Bridge Keeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Kim: African or European?
Bridge Keeper: Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! [Bridge Keeper is thrown in]
Blaine: How do know so much about swallows?
Kim: Well, you have to know these things when you're me, you know.
[suspenseful music]
[music suddenly stops]
[intermission]
[suspenseful music resumes]
AN: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter...only one more chapter to go!