Well, this fairly random and quite bizarre, but I thought it might be fun.

Disclaimer: …you know what it should say here.

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It's really weird to wake up and find yourself a penguin.

I mean, if you were a human before. I guess you're probably confused, so I'll back up and explain myself.

          The youkai wasn't so much powerful as it was fast, but unfortunately speed counts for a lot. Kagome-chan, Inu Yasha, and Shippou were back at the camp we had set up, and we had run into this thing while looking for firewood, which left us on our own.

          So here was Houshi-sama and I, trying to kill this bird youkai, and not doing a very good job of it. I threw my boomerang, but it just kept dodging. Houshi-sama opened his air rip, but it just flew quickly out of range behind him, and I had to jump in and save him from getting his back ripped open.

Hey! Stop looking at me like that! If your friend was in trouble, you'd probably do the same thing! I do not like him, hear that? Geez…

          Anyways, I slashed at it, but, of course, I couldn't get a hit in. It was gone in a whiz of gray feathers and sharp claws raking dangerously close to my eyes, making me hit the ground to avoid blindness. Then I heard a startled cry as it appeared in front of Miroku and flung him backwards over my head a good distance. It's amazing how strong it was for a bird. I winced in sympathy as he hit a tree head-first with a sickening 'thwack', then fell to the ground, rather cross-eyed. He dug in his robes and threw an ofuda before he passed out. It whizzed around until it found its target, clinging to the birds forehead and freezing it. I breathed my thanks to the unconscious houshi and hurled Hiraikotsu at it, chopping it effectively in half. In its death throes it shrieked something incoherent, and there was a flash of green light.

I caught my boomerang, feeling slightly dizzy. I wasn't really too worried about what it had done. As I said, it wasn't very powerful. I ran over to my fallen companion (See? Not boyfriend, companion), and tried to ignore the slightly sick feeling that was coming over me. The dizziness grew. I had barely gotten four steps when the ground came up to attack me.

I wonder what that thing did to me…

~*~

When I came to, I felt sort of strange. Not bad, just different. I was about to do a delicate inspection of myself to see what was creating this feeling when I noticed Houshi-sama, lying a few paces away, showing signs of waking.

"Houshi-sama!"  I called, running over to him. If I hadn't been so worried I might've given more thought to the fact that the few paces took a lot more than a few. "Houshi-sama, are you alright?"

He sat up, grimacing and squeezing his eyes shut, gingerly rubbing his head.

"Yes… I think… it's just a bump, I'll be fine."

He opened his eyes and started to say something. The words died, his eyes bulged out, and his jaw went slack.

"Uh." he said matter-of-factly.

"What?" I demanded, glaring at him. Was my kimono ripped in the front or something?

"Maybe I'm not okay," he groaned, lying back down.

"Why might that be?"

"Because last time I checked, you weren't a penguin."

I had half a mind to smack the idiot, but that probably wouldn't help.

"Of course I'm not a penguin!"

"Then I must've hit my head pretty hard, because you sure look like one to me," replied he.

"I'm not a penguin," I told him, balling a fist. Except that I couldn't ball my fist.

I blinked.

Again.

I looked down at a black wing-like structure that was trying desperately to ball itself, and nearly fainted again.

"Oh," said I, "I'm a penguin."

There's not much else to say upon this sort of revelation.

"No you aren't," Houshi-sama said firmly, "You're a human taji-ya. I'm seeing things."

"No I'm not," I repeated, "I'm a penguin."

He sat up again, taking a long look at me as if he expected me to change back into a human and start laughing at him. I didn't.

"So you are," he agreed.

There was a very awkward silence in which we tried to figure out which of us was going crazy.

"Maybe…" he started. I cocked my head and tapped my webbed foot impatiently. That idiot just couldn't finish a sentence, could he? He stopped and stared at me.

"Maybe?" I prompted.

"Maybe we should go back to camp," he said.

~*~

"Where's Sango?" Kagome demanded.

"What's that penguin?" Inu Yasha demanded, sniffing it.

"Isn't that boomerang heavy?" Shippou wanted to know.

Houshi-sama held up a hand to silence them. It didn't work.

"Did she get killed!?" Kagome gasped, terrified.

"It smells like Sango," Inu Yasha declared, moving downwards. "Is it a female?" (I smacked him on the nose as well as a penguin can smack- whether or not I was a penguin, he was NOT looking at my privates)

"Why do you have Sango's clothes?" Shippou asked.

"If you'd let me explain," Houshi-sama started.

"It hit me!" Inu Yasha cried indignantly.

"Why? She was so young!" Kagome sobbed.

"Sango should be wearing her clothes," Shippou stated.

"BE QUIET AND LET US EXPLAIN!" I yelled.

That shut them up good. Penguins don't usually yell at people, after all.

"Thank you," Houshi-sama sighed. "Now, we were out gathering firewood and we ran into a youkai. It… well… it was really fast, and… Sango, maybe you'd better explain the rest," he finished sheepishly. I think it's the first time I've seen him turn red. Really pretty funny.

"Did you just call that thing Sango?" Inu Yasha asked blankly.

"I am," I explained patiently, although I'll admit that patience was wearing thin now, although Houshi-sama wouldn't know it. He got himself knocked out embarrassingly quickly."

He pulled his neck into his robes, looking as if he wished they would eat him.

"In my defense, it was very fast, and you wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't paralyzed it first."

"Thank you. Sure saved me from this curse." Houshi-sama pouted slightly and tried to look hurt, and it's a little hard to be even annoyed at someone with a face like that. Unless he was being a pervert. I sighed. "Anyways, so as it was dying, it chanted something and then I fainted and when I woke up I was a penguin."

The rest of the group considered this.

"Damn!" Inu Yasha cursed finally. Houshi-sama dodged to one side as he punched a tree behind him. "Penguins can't fight! You'll be useless for shard hunting!"

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome shrieked. "That was insensitive! Sango's just gotten a terrible curse put on her which could change her life horribly if we don't find a way to take it off, and all you can think about is whether she'll be useful or not! OSUWARI!"

Something made a miniature crater in the dirt, and it wasn't a meteor.

"It's okay," I protested quickly, "I mean, at least it won't take my life, even if it does change it."

Houshi-sama looked a little sad, and I had an urge to hug- NO! God, what did I tell you earlier? I HATE him! Well maybe I only hate him when he gropes me but he's a COMPANION and an ANNOYING one at that! STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY!  If you want PROOF, then I'll do THIS! I reached up and slapped him, which is quite a feat for a penguin, mind you! He blinked.

"What… what was that for, Sango?" He asked, genuinely confused. I fumbled for an explanation, because it would sound rather strange to tell him I did it to prove to the people in my head that I didn't like him.

"You were thinking perverted thoughts," I told him dryly. He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"Oh really?"

"Really," I confirmed.

"In any case, I think we should consult Kaede about this," Houshi-sama continued, talking over Kagome and Inu Yasha, who were fighting about who had done or said something uncalled for. They stopped.

"That's right!" Inu Yasha exclaimed. "The sooner we get the curse off, the sooner we can get back to work!"

"Don't make me say it," Kagome warned. Inu Yasha shut up fast.

"That settles it," Houshi-sama agreed. He bent down to look at Kirara, who appeared slightly dazed at my transformation. "Do you mind?"

My pet nodded and obediently grew. Miroku hopped onto her back, and I attempted to follow.

It was at this point that I realized penguins are not built for straddling large animals.

"Oof," said I, meeting the ground once again.

"I'll have to hold you," Houshi-sama informed me with a crooked grin. I was not getting near him when he was wearing an expression like that.

"I'll walk," I proclaimed. "I can keep up."

To demonstrate this, I waddled down the path. It was at this point that I realized penguins have a very small stride.

"If we go at that pace we'll be dead before we get back!" Inu Yasha whined. I tried to shoot him a dirty look, but penguin's faces aren't designed for glaring. Arms scooped me into the air from behind, and I flapped my wings wildly, because a penguin can't wield a sword, as I reflexively would do if I was a human being picked up by something. Houshi-sama held me at arms length until I stopped flapping, and patiently swung the two of us onto Kirara's back, holding me firmly in his lap. Another thing- penguins aren't strong enough to escape a determined pervert's grasp. This curse might not kill me, but I might kill myself before this was over. Kagome and Shippou, as usual, rode Inu Yasha, and we were off to find a cure for this damn curse. Houshi-sama hummed a way too cheerful tune, holding Kirara's mane with one hand and me with the other.

This was, decidedly, the worst night of my life.

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That was fun. In fact, I haven't had that much fun writing for a LONG time. I need to put up another chapter soon!^^ Review, please, feedback is good. Really.

~Kaylana