Well, I know how terribly late this is, but Heather has threatened to delete herself off ff.net if I don't update it. So here goes! My plan for this is pretty crazy. There's this thing called National Novel Writing Month where you…well, write a 50,000 word novel in a single month. Why? Because you can! Quality is not the issue! I for one, plan on writing EPIC CRAP!!! XD Yes, I am on a sugar high. But that's the whole point! Actually, theres a bit more…go here to see! I challenge you all to do this, and maybe we can compare at the end! ^_^ Anyhoo, I'm using this as a practice run for it. I have, to my left, a one hour timer. My music is my typical humorous light music playlist I use for this fic. My hands are typing furiously due to waaaaay too much candy corn and tea-dipped pecans (DON'T ASK). Equipped with all these elements and NO EARTHLY IDEA as to where this chapter is going, I shall start, and hopefully finish, in an hour. This is my excuse for crappy writing. I wanted everyone to read this so you wouldn't all think I was going crazy or losing my touch or anything like that…
3…2…1!!!!!
Disclaimer: I am SO sick of writing these.
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IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE AUTHORS NOTES ABOVE THIS, PLEASE DO!!! IMPORTANT!!...sorta
The morning was pretty unfun, what with Kagome yelling at Inu Yasha yelling at Sango yelling at Miroku who was lecturing all of them when he wasn't knocked out. See, Kirara was still a penguin and Kagome didn't sense any shards, so Inu Yasha was mad. He was yelling at Sango for starting the curse thing in the first place. Inu Yasha was yelling at Sango, so Kagome was mad, and we all know what happens when THAT happens.
….That was a funny sentence. We all know what happens when that happens…like all repetitive…and-
As I was saying, Kagome was sitting at Inu Yasha, and Inu Yasha was yelling at Sango, which was making her mad and giving her a headache. When she's mad and head-ache-y (is that a word?) she turns to Miroku for stress relief 'cause he's usually doing something deserving to get hit. Today he was- I'm hungry, everybody's been too busy for breakfast- lecturing Inu Yasha to be nicer to the ladies, Kagome to calm down, and groping Sango because that's just what he does. Well that's not ALL he does, he also casts spell-thingies and spies on people and gets spied on and-
Where was I?
Oh yeah, it wasn't a happy morning. And it was a hungry one. So I was sitting next to Kirara, who was trying to sleep through all this stuff. Is that all cats do? She was failing. At sleeping, I mean. Oh yeah, and he was knocked out some of the time because Sango kept hitting him. Huh? I was talking about Miroku, I never told you why he was knocked out! Well, Kirara and I were hungry so we started rummaging through Kagome's backpack for something to eat except Kirara wasn't much help what with the whole no move-y thumbs thing. Kagome called em something special…opossum…oppo…whatever. She says that too.
Well I found some Ramen which was usually for dinner and stuff so I didn't open it, but I also found some band-aids, which you can't eat, and a bunch of weird spell-books which is weird cause Kagome can't use spells, not on purpose at least, but what else could they be with all those funny shapes and colors and numbers? So I found some candy at the very bottom of her bag, a little smooshed by one of her spell-books but candy's candy, you know! And in this case, on a hungry day, candy also is breakfast. I took out a tootsie roll pop and attacked it. Not with my claws or anything, with my tongue. It's yummy.
"1…" I counted, licking it.
"IT'S ALL HER FAULT! OUCH!" Inu Yasha yelled.
"2…" I said.
"Inu Yasha," Miroku said, "you shouldn't go blaming things on Sango when it wasn't her-"
"Th-" I started.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR HAND JUST WENT?!" Sango shrieked.
"-rh-" I continued.
There was a big boom and Miroku was knocked out again, cause that's what he does along with those other stuff I listed earlier.
"-ee," I finished. "4...5…"
The boom must've woken up Kirara cause she's just like that with her sensitive ears and stuff…well actually, are her ears still sensitive as a penguin? Where ARE her ears?
"What are you doing?" Kirara asked as I searched her head for anything that looked like it could hear.
"Eating breakfast," I said because it's the truth and my Daddy told me to always tell the truth and Inu Yasha says that if lie to him he'll feed my entrails to the next youkai we run into. I don't really know what entrails are, but if they're mine and they taste good then I wanna keep em. So I told Kirara the truth and she looked at me funny which is even funnier on a bird.
"Your breakfast is not on my head," she said. I blinked. Where had she gotten a dumb idea like that?
"Nope," said I, "it's not. It's in my hand. Six," I added, licking the pop again. Not soda pop, you don't lick soda pop, you drink it. Breakfast pop.
"So why are you investigating my head?"
I thought maybe I should tell her I don't know what investigating is but I wouldn't want to look stupid so I puffed up my chest and said in my big adult tone,
"I am investigating your head because I think it pertains some formations of really big export."
Kirara started laughing. I de-puffed. I guess I didn't quite use the right words to tell her that I was looking for something cool on her head. I should really stop using words that I don't know, but it's so fun! Especially when I use the ones that Inu Yasha says, cause for some reason, Kagome all gets all red-looking and asks me where I heard the word and I tell her and she sits him. I guess I just have a knack for using THOSE words REALLY badly.
"Want some breakfast?" I ask above another sit. I wonder what would happened in Kagome said stand instead of sit? Would he fly up to the sky that'd be kinda funny.
"I'd love some," Kirara said, taking a lick.
"Seven," I counted.
"BITCH!" Inu Yasha shouted in the background. "OKAY, THAT'S IT! PENGUIN OR NOT, WE ARE GOING NOW!"
A silence fell over the site at this decree. Then Miroku woke up and sorta ruined it.
"Sango," he whined, "what was that for?"
I shrugged.
"8…9…10…"
BOOM and then black and then a pretty butterfly.
That's what fainting is like in case you wanted to know. The butterfly was blue and pretty.
"Hello? Shippou-chan, are you okay?" I heard Kagome ask, sounding kinda squeaky. That squeak is REALLY annoying. I mean, even I don't squeak that bad! Well unless I'm scared, which NEVER happens! I mean, really, I'm the one holding the group together, just in subtle ways, and-
"He is not alright, Kagome-sama," Miroku pointed out, "He's a penguin."
I guess I must've been cause even after I got up to chase the butterfly, I went about one step before I fell flat on my tail. That's a sensitive part of the body you know, well no you don't know, you don't have one, or do you? Is your tail fluffier than mine? What shampoo do you use!? I mean, I try to get mine nice, but it's all frizzy and-
Oh yeah, anyways, I fell. Penguins have pretty small steps, smaller than kitsunes. The butterfly got away, so I was mad.
"Squirt!" Inu Yasha's voice shouted, jarring me out of my anger. Or maybe it was that he was standing on my frizzy tail.
"Ow~~~!" I said, because it made sense. Don't you say oww when your tail is stepped on? Wait, we already established you don't have one. Sorry bout that.
"Get up," Inu Yasha said, "We're heading out."
Kagome started to protest, but Miroku cleared his throat loudly.
"Well," he said, scooping me off the ground, "Shall we?"
Kagome glared at him, and Inu Yasha smirked. Weird. Well, I'm getting a free ride, that's all that matters…wait…there was something else important… what…OH NO!
"I missed the butterfly!"
"You're heavier as a penguin," Miroku whined.
"Where are my ears?" I asked.
"I said I don't know," Miroku repeated. He looked up the path, and shifted me to one arm, waving the other. "WAIT UP, PLEASE! I'LL GET LOST, AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?"
"A lot better off!" Sango called back. They laughed and continued on down the path. Miroku groaned and sat down in the middle of the path, glaring at me.
"It's all your fault."
"Hey!" I protested. Then I saw Kirara coming back towards us. "I gave you breakfast, give us a ride!" I said, grumpy. Yeah, grumpy is a pretty good way to describe me on an unfun day after an unfun and hungry morning, cause you know that the 68 licks of a tootsie roll pop aren't enough for a growing teenager like me.
"Breakfast," Miroku moaned, "That's what we missed. I knew it was something."
"I never got a ride when I was a penguin," Kirara said.
"Not my fault," I said, "What if I stole some of Kagome's food for you?"
"That'd be great," Miroku replied, "I'm starved."
"What kind of food?" Kirara demanded.
"Chocolate," I said, ignoring Miroku. He didn't know who I was talking to, I guess. It's kind of funny how he always thinks I'm talking to him and how he never talks to Kirara. I wonder where that butterfly I missed is.
"Chocolate's not breakfast," Miroku contributed. AN: At this point, my NaNoWriMoness gave out and the rest of the chapter was written at a different sitting…in case anyone cares…
"Hmm," Kirara considered, "I'll think about it."
Miroku looked at us both funny, shook his head, and looked up the path. It was green and sunny and stuff, and empty too, which is usually a bad thing. Miroku said some of the same words that make Kagome mad. Too bad she can't sit him, cause I think they're fun to say, the way they roll off your tongue…except that words can't roll off anything unless you write them on something but then it's really the paper rolling off something and the words are just on the paper and stuff. Why am I all alone all of the sudden? Oh, because Miroku's up there running around like a maniac, although I guess I wouldn't know, because I've never met a maniac. Wait a second, scratch that, I'm totally surrounded by them. So Miroku's running around like himself, and Kirara's sniffing the path like herself, and they both were leaving me, so I ran to catch up with them. Alas…I'm, alas, a salami. That's kind of a cool phrase, cause it reads the same backwards as forwards…a palindrome. Yeah, I'm smart and can use big words like those without Kagome getting mad at anyone. What was I alas-ing at though? Uh…oh yeah! Alas, none of us could see the others, and the path forked off in two different directions, blue and yellow. Uh, towards a river and a flowery field, that is.
"We're…lost," Miroku said, raising his eyebrows and closing his eyes partway in a really funny face.
"Thanks, genius," Kirara snorted. "Well, since no one else is making any decisions, I'm not getting wet."
"Ch-chotto!" Miroku stammered, running off after Kirara, who had disappeared into the yellow. The yellow looked sort of pretty, so I followed them, but they were going pretty fast and the yellow was pretty tall. Like REALLY tall. Trees are tall too, but there's more space between them, so even if you're walking through a lot of trees, you can see where everyone in front of you is headed. Alas, flowers are a lot closer together, and alas, that isn't a palindrome, but it is true. And they make you sneeze lots, too, which sort of slows you down…and they smell really strong, so you can't smell anything else…
…and that makes you lost…
I sat down, sneezing my woe. Woe…sounds kinda like woah, or wow, except that it means something a lot different. Cool, huh? But woe's not cool, cause it's woeful. Like being totally lost. What do woeful people do? They cry. I'm not a person, but we can pretend, right?
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
It was dark and I was hungry. Those two things aren't very related, I guess, but that doesn't mean I wasn't sorry I'd missed the butterfly earlier. Or that I wasn't starved. A thought struck me, which doesn't make a lot of sense cause thoughts can't hit, which is what struck means I think, cause lightning strikes but thoughts just come, and they don't hurt. Most of the time. This one kinda made me panic though- I didn't know what I could eat! And Miroku wasn't around to tell me, or Kagome, or Sango, because they would know, adults know everything. Except Inu Yasha, who knows nothing at all. Cause he's a dog. Or is it bitch? One of em means it's a girl, and I can't remember which. Well, he's girly anyways. I mean, what's with those poofy pants? And his hair... I'm surprised Miroku didn't ask him to bear his child. Wait…he wanted to kill him at first. Never mind, I guess that's a good enough reason.
What was I saying about being- INU YASHA!
It smelled like him, which was a lot nastier than the yellow.
"Wench, this is SUCH a waste of time! I swear, I'm turning around right here, and-"
"Osuwari."
"Ow! Bitch!"
Hmm, I guess that means it refers to girl after all. Oh, wait, they're here to rescue me. I guess that means it's my cue to do something stupid and childish that makes all the fans groan, roll their eyes, and want to kill Takahashi-sama for adding me into the story when it obviously doesn't need me in the first place, then we can wrap up this chapter so Kaylana doesn't have to bust her butt on this and her science fair project.
…
…did I say that aloud?
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;-) I felt I needed to add that last part. ^_^ Well, R&R, you know the drill! ^_^ Sorry it took so long, I've been…erm…busy. Yeah. 3 comics, school, etc…my stupidity never ceases to amaze me. =D Cya next time! Who is my next victim?!? KUKUKU…
~Kaylana