Disclaimer: Like you honest to god, read these disclaimers...
Hyper Guyver: Hey there everyone! It the one... The only... Your favorite interviewer and mine... BARBARA WALTERS. wait... Barbara Walters?! (Sigh) Okay who's been messing with my note cards?! Well anyways... It is I, Hyper Guyver your 1# Interviewer (Barbara Walters can kiss my ass...) Anyway, I'm here once more to bring you another fabulously wonderful interview (My Therapist says I'm starting to get egotistic, what do you think?) Well, here it is, my interview with... THE AMAZON! (sigh) and Yes Red Lady you were right... I'm going to mention what you think I'm going to mention... a lot! _^
Hyper Guyver: Anway... On with the interview!
Hyper Guyver: Hello Amazon.
Amazon: S'up...
Hyper Guyver:...
Amazon: Uh, are you going to get on with the interview?
Hyper Guyver:...
Amazon: Hello? Anyone home? (Waves hand in front of Hyper Guyver's face)
Hyper Guyver:... (Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: I SWEAR TO GO, IF YOU DON'T RAISE YOUR EYES TEN INCHES HIGHER FROM WHERE THEY'RE LOOKING I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS...
Hyper Guyver: Huh? Oh, uh... sorry...
Amazon: (ahem) Now the interview?
Hyper Guyver: Oh uh, yeah, let's see... (Shuffles paper) uh... (drooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: (Sigh) (Slaps Hyper Guyver across the face)
(Hyper Guyver goes flying through the air and gets knocked out for several minutes)
Hyper Guyver: Uh, sorry... heh, heh...
Amazon: Heres the deal, if you can go a whole five minutes without looking at my breasts, I flash'em.
Hyper Guyver: REALLY?!!!!!! (Ahem) okay then... Shit, being a horny sixteen year old is really going to make this a hell of a lot harder...
Amazon: Well?
Hyper Guyver: Okay, lets do this... First question... (Looks Amazon straight in the eyes and NOWHERE ELSE...) What was it like fighting the three prime evils?
Amazon: Kind of a breeze really.
Hyper Guyver: Really? I would have thought it would have been harder.
Amazon: Well... Sort of, if would have gone by without a hitch but the group I was in had this one Paladin that was a complete Imbecile.
Hyper Guyver: Sounds familiar...
Amazon: Well anyway, this big dumb guy, I think he was a Barbarian or something, I don't know, did Most of the grunt work in the quest. All I had to do was shoot at stuff from a distance with my bow and arrow. (Shows off the bow)
Hyper Guyver: Wow, that's really neat. Are you good?
Amazon: Pretty good. I can nail a guy in the crotch from almost two hundred yards away.
Hyper Guyver: (Gulp) Okay then...
Amazon: ^_^
ONE MINUTE DOWN, FOUR TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Next question, how did you get along with the other member of the group?
Amazon: If you could call what it was "Getting along"
Hyper Guyver: So you didn't get along?
Amazon: Well, the Paladin was an Imbecile, the Barbarian was a big dumb guy, The assassin was boy crazy, the sorceress was an uptight bitch, the druid was a pervert, and the Necromancer was on drugs... Speed or pot or something. He said, "It helped him communicate with the dead."
Hyper Guyver: Hmmm... By the sounds of it, how did you guys ever get anything done?
Amazon: Actually, I don't quite remember, even though I fought the demons from a distance with my bow, I kept taking a lot of blows to the head...
Hyper Guyver: Really?
Amazon: Oh wait, I remember now! Those blows didn't come from demons, they came from the sorceress. She and I didn't exactly "get along"...
Hyper Guyver: I see...
TWO MINUTES DOWN, THREE TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Well, after you defeated the prime evils, what did you do after that?
Amazon: For starters, I got the hell away from that pack of freaks. Then I went home to do some Playstation, watched Lord of the Rings acouple of times, hit a couple of comic shops, watched every episode of Star Trek that I recorder while I was away and did some more Playstation... And that was about it.
Hyper Guyver:... Marry me.
Amazon: Huh? What was that?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, nothing...
THREE MINUTES DOWN, TWO TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Uh, I hate to bring this up, but this was this question was asked by a number of readers.
Amazon: What?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, are those real? (Still looking her straight in the eye.)
Amazon: I guess you'll find out in about two minutes...
Hyper Guyver: ((((O_O))))
THIRTY SECONDS LEFT TO GO
Amazon: Jeeze your extremely eager.
Hyper Guyver: My parents are incredibly strict; I couldn't sneak porn in my house if my life depended on it. Hell, the day before I turned thirteen, I still wasn't allowed to watch PG-13. (Grumbles) And since I'm not yet 17, I still haven't seen an R rated movie... And the fact that 16 doesn't help.
Amazon: No kidding. Hey your shoes untied.
Hyper Guyver: Huh? (Looks down at his shoe)
Amazon: HA! You looked!
Hyper Guyver: WHAT?! B-but I just looked down at my shoes...
Amazon: yeah, but in the process you got a glimpse by breasts, and you know the rules.
Hyper Guyver: But... But... But...
Amazon: By the way your shoe really is untied. Just to prove I wasn't tricking you.
Hyper Guyver: But... But... But... (Sigh) The only thing that could possibly make this worse would be if-
Mudy: Hey Hyper Guyver! Who you talking to... (Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Gabe: What's wrong Mudy? What are you looking at- (Drooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: (sigh) Hey boys... If you don't stop looking at my chest, I may just have to just cut of your balls. (Think maybe she's starting to get pissed?)
Hyper Guyver: No kidding, she'll probably do it.
Mudy: We don't have to worry.
Gabe: Yeah, we took care of it.
Hyper Guyver: What do mean?
Mudy: Gabe and I are now UNICS!
Hype Guyver: O_O
Amazon: O_O
Hyper Guyver: W-why?!
Gabe: Well, we just wanted to prove our true allegiance to the Light.
Hyper Guyver: BY CHOPPING OFF YOUR OWN BALLS?!!!!!!!!!!
Mudy: Well it seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hyper Guyver: The Tyreal fan club doesn't make this a mandatory thing does it?
Gabe: No, just something we thought up...
Hyper Guyver: So let me get this straight... You, VOLUNTARILY... Cut off your balls?!!!!!
Mudy: Seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hyper Guyver: WHAT TIME COULD POSSIBLY BE A GOOD TIME TO THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO CUT OF YOUR BALLS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gabe: Well it was the night we where finishing off the last of our Goat's blood beer...
Mudy: Yeah, didn't want the stuff to go to waste...
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) Hey what are you laughing at?
Amazon: (sprawled on the ground laughing) Its just... HA HA HA HA HA! YOUR OWN BALLS! HA HA HA HA HA!
Hyper Guyver: Alright time for you two to go!
(Hyper Guyver shoves Mudy and Gabe outside and into oncoming traffic)
Hyper Guyver: Now where were we?
Amazon: You were crying over how you weren't getting any.
Hyper Guyver: I was? Well... Okay. (Begins to sob) I was sooooooo close... (sobs louder)
Amazon: Wow, if it really meant that much to you... (Amazon flashes Hyper Guyver)
Hyper Guyver: (Gets to his knees) So... Beautiful...
Amazon: Well, if that's it, I'll being going now, just got latest "Final Fantasy."
Hyper Guyver:... Marry me.
Amazon: Huh? What did you say?
Hyper Guyver: uh, nothing...
(Amazon leaves)
Hyper Guyver: Well, in retrospect, that didn't turn out so bad... Lets take a look at who I'll be interviewing next... (Shuffles cards) The Paladin? Screw that! (Throws note card in trashcan) Hey wait a minute... The Paladin didn't show up for once! All Right-
Paladin: Wait I'm right here!
Hyper Guyver: What? Where the hell did you come from?!
Paladin: Oh, I kind of got locked out for a while. Someone put deadbolts on all the doors.
Hyper Guyver: Really? I wonder who? (Rolls eyes) Anyway... Hey! Is that a rogue demon running through the streets over there?!
Paladin: What?! I must put a stop to it! (Runs outside and into the middle of traffic. Gets hit by car)
Hyper Guyver: That should keep him out of my hair for a while... Anyway, lets see here, whom will I interview next? (Shuffles through cards) the Assassin? Alright!
Hyper Guyver: Well, now that I got that settled, wait until next time when I interview the Assassin. Good day and good night...
(Hyper Guyver looks a his bruise in the mirror)
Hyper Guyver: Hey the Amazon left me her phone number! Hey and she wrote it on the bruise she gave me... Wow! Just how long did she knock me out?!!!!
A/N: Hey! If you review my story, could you help me with something? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO ADD PEOPLE TO MY FAVORITE AUTHORS LIST FOREVER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW!!! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MONTHS! MONTHS!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME! (damn, now I just sound pathetic...)
Hyper Guyver: Hey there everyone! It the one... The only... Your favorite interviewer and mine... BARBARA WALTERS. wait... Barbara Walters?! (Sigh) Okay who's been messing with my note cards?! Well anyways... It is I, Hyper Guyver your 1# Interviewer (Barbara Walters can kiss my ass...) Anyway, I'm here once more to bring you another fabulously wonderful interview (My Therapist says I'm starting to get egotistic, what do you think?) Well, here it is, my interview with... THE AMAZON! (sigh) and Yes Red Lady you were right... I'm going to mention what you think I'm going to mention... a lot! _^
Hyper Guyver: Anway... On with the interview!
Hyper Guyver: Hello Amazon.
Amazon: S'up...
Hyper Guyver:...
Amazon: Uh, are you going to get on with the interview?
Hyper Guyver:...
Amazon: Hello? Anyone home? (Waves hand in front of Hyper Guyver's face)
Hyper Guyver:... (Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: I SWEAR TO GO, IF YOU DON'T RAISE YOUR EYES TEN INCHES HIGHER FROM WHERE THEY'RE LOOKING I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS...
Hyper Guyver: Huh? Oh, uh... sorry...
Amazon: (ahem) Now the interview?
Hyper Guyver: Oh uh, yeah, let's see... (Shuffles paper) uh... (drooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: (Sigh) (Slaps Hyper Guyver across the face)
(Hyper Guyver goes flying through the air and gets knocked out for several minutes)
Hyper Guyver: Uh, sorry... heh, heh...
Amazon: Heres the deal, if you can go a whole five minutes without looking at my breasts, I flash'em.
Hyper Guyver: REALLY?!!!!!! (Ahem) okay then... Shit, being a horny sixteen year old is really going to make this a hell of a lot harder...
Amazon: Well?
Hyper Guyver: Okay, lets do this... First question... (Looks Amazon straight in the eyes and NOWHERE ELSE...) What was it like fighting the three prime evils?
Amazon: Kind of a breeze really.
Hyper Guyver: Really? I would have thought it would have been harder.
Amazon: Well... Sort of, if would have gone by without a hitch but the group I was in had this one Paladin that was a complete Imbecile.
Hyper Guyver: Sounds familiar...
Amazon: Well anyway, this big dumb guy, I think he was a Barbarian or something, I don't know, did Most of the grunt work in the quest. All I had to do was shoot at stuff from a distance with my bow and arrow. (Shows off the bow)
Hyper Guyver: Wow, that's really neat. Are you good?
Amazon: Pretty good. I can nail a guy in the crotch from almost two hundred yards away.
Hyper Guyver: (Gulp) Okay then...
Amazon: ^_^
ONE MINUTE DOWN, FOUR TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Next question, how did you get along with the other member of the group?
Amazon: If you could call what it was "Getting along"
Hyper Guyver: So you didn't get along?
Amazon: Well, the Paladin was an Imbecile, the Barbarian was a big dumb guy, The assassin was boy crazy, the sorceress was an uptight bitch, the druid was a pervert, and the Necromancer was on drugs... Speed or pot or something. He said, "It helped him communicate with the dead."
Hyper Guyver: Hmmm... By the sounds of it, how did you guys ever get anything done?
Amazon: Actually, I don't quite remember, even though I fought the demons from a distance with my bow, I kept taking a lot of blows to the head...
Hyper Guyver: Really?
Amazon: Oh wait, I remember now! Those blows didn't come from demons, they came from the sorceress. She and I didn't exactly "get along"...
Hyper Guyver: I see...
TWO MINUTES DOWN, THREE TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Well, after you defeated the prime evils, what did you do after that?
Amazon: For starters, I got the hell away from that pack of freaks. Then I went home to do some Playstation, watched Lord of the Rings acouple of times, hit a couple of comic shops, watched every episode of Star Trek that I recorder while I was away and did some more Playstation... And that was about it.
Hyper Guyver:... Marry me.
Amazon: Huh? What was that?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, nothing...
THREE MINUTES DOWN, TWO TO GO
Hyper Guyver: Uh, I hate to bring this up, but this was this question was asked by a number of readers.
Amazon: What?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, are those real? (Still looking her straight in the eye.)
Amazon: I guess you'll find out in about two minutes...
Hyper Guyver: ((((O_O))))
THIRTY SECONDS LEFT TO GO
Amazon: Jeeze your extremely eager.
Hyper Guyver: My parents are incredibly strict; I couldn't sneak porn in my house if my life depended on it. Hell, the day before I turned thirteen, I still wasn't allowed to watch PG-13. (Grumbles) And since I'm not yet 17, I still haven't seen an R rated movie... And the fact that 16 doesn't help.
Amazon: No kidding. Hey your shoes untied.
Hyper Guyver: Huh? (Looks down at his shoe)
Amazon: HA! You looked!
Hyper Guyver: WHAT?! B-but I just looked down at my shoes...
Amazon: yeah, but in the process you got a glimpse by breasts, and you know the rules.
Hyper Guyver: But... But... But...
Amazon: By the way your shoe really is untied. Just to prove I wasn't tricking you.
Hyper Guyver: But... But... But... (Sigh) The only thing that could possibly make this worse would be if-
Mudy: Hey Hyper Guyver! Who you talking to... (Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Gabe: What's wrong Mudy? What are you looking at- (Drooooooooooooooooooooooooool)
Amazon: (sigh) Hey boys... If you don't stop looking at my chest, I may just have to just cut of your balls. (Think maybe she's starting to get pissed?)
Hyper Guyver: No kidding, she'll probably do it.
Mudy: We don't have to worry.
Gabe: Yeah, we took care of it.
Hyper Guyver: What do mean?
Mudy: Gabe and I are now UNICS!
Hype Guyver: O_O
Amazon: O_O
Hyper Guyver: W-why?!
Gabe: Well, we just wanted to prove our true allegiance to the Light.
Hyper Guyver: BY CHOPPING OFF YOUR OWN BALLS?!!!!!!!!!!
Mudy: Well it seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hyper Guyver: The Tyreal fan club doesn't make this a mandatory thing does it?
Gabe: No, just something we thought up...
Hyper Guyver: So let me get this straight... You, VOLUNTARILY... Cut off your balls?!!!!!
Mudy: Seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hyper Guyver: WHAT TIME COULD POSSIBLY BE A GOOD TIME TO THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO CUT OF YOUR BALLS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gabe: Well it was the night we where finishing off the last of our Goat's blood beer...
Mudy: Yeah, didn't want the stuff to go to waste...
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) Hey what are you laughing at?
Amazon: (sprawled on the ground laughing) Its just... HA HA HA HA HA! YOUR OWN BALLS! HA HA HA HA HA!
Hyper Guyver: Alright time for you two to go!
(Hyper Guyver shoves Mudy and Gabe outside and into oncoming traffic)
Hyper Guyver: Now where were we?
Amazon: You were crying over how you weren't getting any.
Hyper Guyver: I was? Well... Okay. (Begins to sob) I was sooooooo close... (sobs louder)
Amazon: Wow, if it really meant that much to you... (Amazon flashes Hyper Guyver)
Hyper Guyver: (Gets to his knees) So... Beautiful...
Amazon: Well, if that's it, I'll being going now, just got latest "Final Fantasy."
Hyper Guyver:... Marry me.
Amazon: Huh? What did you say?
Hyper Guyver: uh, nothing...
(Amazon leaves)
Hyper Guyver: Well, in retrospect, that didn't turn out so bad... Lets take a look at who I'll be interviewing next... (Shuffles cards) The Paladin? Screw that! (Throws note card in trashcan) Hey wait a minute... The Paladin didn't show up for once! All Right-
Paladin: Wait I'm right here!
Hyper Guyver: What? Where the hell did you come from?!
Paladin: Oh, I kind of got locked out for a while. Someone put deadbolts on all the doors.
Hyper Guyver: Really? I wonder who? (Rolls eyes) Anyway... Hey! Is that a rogue demon running through the streets over there?!
Paladin: What?! I must put a stop to it! (Runs outside and into the middle of traffic. Gets hit by car)
Hyper Guyver: That should keep him out of my hair for a while... Anyway, lets see here, whom will I interview next? (Shuffles through cards) the Assassin? Alright!
Hyper Guyver: Well, now that I got that settled, wait until next time when I interview the Assassin. Good day and good night...
(Hyper Guyver looks a his bruise in the mirror)
Hyper Guyver: Hey the Amazon left me her phone number! Hey and she wrote it on the bruise she gave me... Wow! Just how long did she knock me out?!!!!
A/N: Hey! If you review my story, could you help me with something? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO ADD PEOPLE TO MY FAVORITE AUTHORS LIST FOREVER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW!!! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MONTHS! MONTHS!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME! (damn, now I just sound pathetic...)